You Gotta Have Friends - January 2022
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January 2022
SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING
You Gotta Have Friends
“You Gotta Have Friends.” More than just a song title, cancer death rates and recurrence of the disease than
having friends can also mean living a more fulfilling and women without social connections; one reason for this
healthier life as you get older. finding is that social contact appears to switch on and
Unfortunately, says developmental psychologist off the genes that regulate our immune responses to
Susan Pinker, author of “The Village Effect: How Face-to- cancer and the rate of tumor growth. Research has also
Face Contact Can Make us Healthier, Happier and Smarter,“ shown that friends can inspire each other to have a
the loneliest group of individuals in the United States healthier lifestyle, as well as help reduce stress, which
are middle-aged or older, with a third of those between can lower blood pressure, decrease the risks of
the ages of 45 to 49 saying they have no one to confide depression and heart disease, and reduce the odds of
in. If you’re in that group, Pinker’s advice is short and to developing dementia.
the point: Find a friend (and the more the better). “Social connections are as protective as regular
exercise,” says Pinker. “A hug, a squeeze on the arm or a
The Healthy Benefits of Friendship
pat on the back lowers one’s physiological stress
“Those with a tightly connected circle of friends who responses which, in turn, helps the body fight infection
regularly gather — even if it’s just to eat and share and inflammation.”
gossip — are likely to live an average of 15 years longer
than a loner,” says Pinker, adding that people with active Face to Face or Screen to Screen?
social lives are more physiologically resilient and While technology can be a boon if you’re unable to
recover faster after an illness than those who are more visit your friends regularly—as we’ve all seen during the
socially isolated. pandemic—for the best health benefits, says Pinker,
A study of women with invasive breast cancer, for aim for real-world contact.
example, found that women with the most social ties, “Facebook may help you reconnect with people from
such as spouses, community engagements, friendships your past or even meet new friends,” she says, “but
and family members, had significantly lower breast carrying on a friendship solely online will not provide
you with the same physiological tech entrepreneur Gina Pell to hometown of Rochester, N.Y., to St.
and emotional benefits that a night describe “‘ever-blooming, relevant Louis to Washington, D.C., where
out with your BFF will.” people of all ages who live in the she lived for eight years; on to
present time, know what’s Baltimore for 13 years; then back
Think Younger happening in the world, stay current home to Upstate New York; and
As we get older and our friends with technology, and have friends now back in St. Louis.
SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING
move away, become ill or, sadly, die, of all ages. Perennials get involved, Throughout her many moves,
it’s even more important to keep stay curious, mentor others, and are she has kept many friendships and
adding to our roster of friends. passionate, compassionate, creative, made many more. The benefits of
Steven Petrow, author of “Stupid confident, collaborative, global- friendships as she gets older are
Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old,” minded risk takers, and who know many, Thaler-Carter observes.
who also writes frequently on aging, how to hustle.’” “Friends inspire me to try new
health, and civility, recommends “Millennials can be Perennials. things, go to new places, and stay
deepening the friendships you Boomers can be Perennials. Anyone aware of what’s going on around
already have as well as making new can choose to be a Perennial,” says me, both close and afar,” she says.
ones, even (or especially!) if they’re Petrow. “Being connected to old and new
younger. friends keeps me young and happy,
“New research shows that Keep the Old but Bring especially now that my beloved
‘intergenerational’ friendships provide in the New husband is gone,” Thaler-Carter
value to all,” says Petrow. “To have Ruth Thaler-Carter is an expert at continues. “I have close friends I’ve
friends well into old age, you need both keeping old friends and known my whole life, and when I’m
them to be younger than you!”That’s making new ones. In her peripatetic in contact with them, it’s as if the
why Petrow has chosen to identify life, the 68-year-old freelance writer years never passed, even though
as a “Perennial,” a term coined by and editor has moved from her some of us are getting gray- or
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white-haired, have grandkids/-
nieces/-nephews (even great-
grands!) or are retired. That shared
life history is a wonderful thing,
while new connections keep me
growing mentally and emotionally.
SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING
Especially in these continuing
pandemic days, we all benefit from
staying or becoming connected
with friends both old and new.
Social isolation can be dangerous
on many levels.”
Finding New Friends and get involved in an issue you foods section,” says Thaler-Carter,
Not sure how to go about finding care about. fondly remembering the “Social
friends? Here are some suggestions n Take your newspaper or tablet to Safeway” in Georgetown, famous
that have worked for Thaler-Carter your neighborhood coffee shop, for both informal and organized
and others. bookstore, pool or other location meet-ups.
n Get a dog and take it for a walk
you enjoy visiting. “I’ve made new n Check out online neighborhood
friends when someone initiated a groups like NextDoor.com or
(good for both you and the dog!).
conversation about something I meetup.com to find like-minded
Love animals but can’t have a pet?
was reading or working on, and nearby neighbors.
Local animal shelters often host
by commenting aloud about an n Be the one to reach out. Whether
events where you can meet fellow
article or offering the paper to you live in an apartment/condo
animal enthusiasts.
someone else,” says Thaler-Carter. building, a detached house, or a
n Volunteer with a charitable cause
n Join (or start) an alumni senior living residence, introduce
or organization. Do good while
association for your high school yourself to neighbors and
doing good for yourself.
or college, or a club for people consider hosting the occasional
n Find a way to get involved with a neighborhood social event.
from your hometown. The
new hobby. Enjoy knitting? Yarn Washington area has many such n Join a health/fitness club or
shops, for example, often have opportunities. When Thaler- recreation center. A shared effort
drop-in knitting circles where you Carter moved from St. Louis to at better health can be the start of
can stitch and chat. Or take up a D.C., she found a St. Louis Club a beautiful friendship.
new sport. Susan Koontz Laber, whose members knew or were n Enjoy reading? See if your local
72, who now lives on Maryland’s related to some of the people she library has a book club you can
Eastern Shore, started playing knew in Missouri. “Having St. Louis join.
golf four years ago and joined the in common was a great way to
local LPGA amateur golf league. n Take a trip. If solo travel isn’t your
make new friends with little
“I’ve met many interesting ladies thing, the not-for-profit Road
effort,” she says.
as we learn and play the great Scholar, a leader in educational
n Join and be active in a professional travel for baby boomers and
game of golf together,” she says. organization or membership
“We really cheer each other on! beyond, offers trips to 100
association. Work-related contacts countries and all 50 states (as well
The league also sponsors local often become good friends. as virtually during the pandemic).
happy hour events as well as
n Go to the grocery store around According to president and CEO
other social activities! It has been
the same time on the same day of James Moses, the organization’s
a very fun way to meet new
the week. Other “regulars” could learning adventures are designed
people and enjoy their company.”
become friends as you “bond” to foster social connections,
n Join (or start) a neighborhood
over produce, treats and other bringing together people from all
association. favorites. “I made a new friend just walks of life who share a passion
n Join a political group at the by chatting about my preferred for learning. “The camaraderie our
neighborhood or town/city level, seafood items in the prepared participants find on our programs
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is one of the things that keeps have changed and you’ve lost a follow their dreams and add more
them coming back year after year, spouse or significant other, Rockville, living to their lives. At an Erickson
and we hear so often how vital Maryland-based life coach Amy Living community, you can enjoy an
these social experiences are for Schoen suggests joining support unbeatable lifestyle where your
our participants.” groups such as New Beginnings finances are predictable; your stylish
apartment home is maintenance-
SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING
n Be the one to get back in touch. or Widow Care.
Think about friends from In short, says Melissa Bachelor, free; your neighbors re warm and
childhood, high school, college, director of George Washington friendly — all while enjoying peace
past jobs; send an email message, University’s interdisciplinary Center of mind should your health needs
change.
pick up the phone, message them for Aging, Health and Humanities,
on Facebook, and see if you can “as humans, we are social beings See our ad on page 2A
still find common ground. and having strong social support
Reconnecting can be a lot of fun, from family and friends becomes ABOUT THIS SECTION
and it’s easy these days thanks to increasingly important as we age.” This special advertising section was
produced by The Washington Post
Zoom and social media. Custom Content department and did not
n Online peer to peer groups such
ERICKSON LIVING® involve The Washington Post news or
as Supportiv or Facebook groups 1-800-989-6488 editorial staff. This article was written by
Carol Sorgen, hired by The Washington
such as the Over 70’s Friendship ericksonliving.com Post Custom Content department.
Group (or groups for different age Active seniors choose Erickson HOW ARE WE DOING?
ranges) can introduce you to Living retirement communities like For questions, comments and
suggestions regarding this section,
people from around the world or Ashby Ponds in Ashburn, Greenspring please send an email to
even your own neighborhood. in Springfield and Riderwood in Martha.Cairnie@washpost.com.
And if your life circumstances Silver Spring to pursue their passions,
SPOTLIGHT ON
SENIOR
LIVI NG
ISSUE DATE: MARCH 6, 2022
SPACE DEADLINE: FEBRUARY 7, 2022
MATERIALS DEADLINE: FEBRUARY 11, 2022
TO PLACE YOUR AD IN SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING, PLEASE CONTACT
MARTHA CAIRNIE. 703-675-2510 | MARTHA.CAIRNIE@WASHPOST.COM
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