JOURNAL - IN THIS ISSUE The Wilmington Ten page 6 Are We Ready to Talk About Suicide? page 12 - North Carolina State Bar
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THE NORTH CAROLINA STATE BAR
JOURNAL
SPRING
2022
IN THIS ISSUE
The Wilmington Ten page 6
Are We Ready to Talk About Suicide? page 12
Appellate Practice for Trial Work page 18
THE
NORTH CAROLINA
STATE BAR
JOURNAL
FE AT U R E S
Spring 2022
Volume 27, Number 1
6 The Wilmington Ten—Starting a
Editor Conversation
Jennifer R. Duncan By Bill Powers and Chris Beddow
12 Are We Ready to Talk About Suicide
Yet?
© Copyright 2022 by the North Carolina By Lynn S. Garson
State Bar. All rights reserved. Periodicals
postage paid at Raleigh, NC, and additional 18 Appellate Practice for Trial Work
offices. POSTMASTER: Send address By R. Daniel Gibson
changes to the North Carolina State Bar, PO
Box 25908, Raleigh, NC 27611. The North 20 But That was Good Fortune—The
Carolina Bar Journal invites the submission Education of Thomas Jackson
of unsolicited, original articles, essays, and White Jr.
book reviews. Submissions may be made by
Edited by Thomas H. Davis Jr.
mail or email (jduncan@ ncbar.gov) to the
editor. Publishing and editorial decisions are
23 If Trees Could Testify—A novel based
based on the Publications Committee’s and
the editor’s judgment of the quality of the on the true story of Madison County’s
writing, the timeliness of the article, and the infamous Gahagan murders
potential interest to the readers of the Reviewed by M. LeAnn Melton
Journal. The Journal reserves the right to edit
all manuscripts. The North Carolina State
Bar Journal (ISSN 10928626) is published
four times per year in March, June,
September, and December under the direc-
tion and supervision of the council of the
North Carolina State Bar, PO Box 25908,
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Publication of an article in the Journal is not
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T H E N O RT H C A RO L I N A S TAT E B A R J O U R N A L 3
D E PA RT M E N TS 32 Upcoming Appointments B A R U P D AT E S
5 President’s Message 34 Pathways to Well-being 45 In Memoriam
24 The Disciplinary Department 36 Legal Ethics 46 Distinguished Service Awards
26 Legal Specialization 38 IOLTA Update 48 Client Security Fund
28 Trust Accounting 39 Proposed Ethics Opinions 49 Law School Briefs
30 Lawyer Assistance Program 42 Rule Amendments
Officers Meredith Nicholson, Durham Forest City
Darrin D. Jordan, Salisbury 17: Charles E. Davis, Mebane 42: Michael A. Lovejoy,
President 2021-2022 18: Charles Gordon Brown, Chapel Hill Hendersonville
Marcia Armstrong, Smithfield 20: Joshua Dale Malcolm, Pembroke 43: Zeyland G. McKinney, Murphy
President-Elect 2021-2022 21: F. Davis Poisson III, Wadesboro
A. Todd Brown, Charlotte 22: Matthew W. Smith, Eden Public Members
Vice-President 2021-2022 23: Thomas B. Langan, Pilot Patricia Head, Littleton
Barbara R. Christy, Greensboro Mountain Dr. Joseph E. Johnson, Greensboro
Past-President 2021-2022 24: Patrice A. Hinnant, Greensboro Mohan Venkataraman, Morrisville
Alice Neece Mine, Chapel Hill Manisha P. Patel, Greensboro
Secretary-Treasurer 24H: Kathleen E. Nix, High Point Executive Director
25: Jay White, Concord Alice Neece Mine
Councilors 26: David N. Allen, Charlotte
By Judicial District Robert C. Bowers, Charlotte Assistant Executive Director
1: C. Everett Thompson II, Elizabeth George V. Laughrun II, Charlotte Peter Bolac
City Dewitt McCarley, Charlotte
2: Thomas D. Anglim, Washington Gena Graham Morris, Charlotte Counsel
3: Robert C. Kemp III, Greenville Eben T. Rawls, Charlotte Katherine Jean
4: Scott C. Hart, New Bern Timika Shafeek-Horton
5: Kevin Joseph Kiernan, Clinton 27: T. Gregory Jones, Salisbury Editor
6: W. Allen Cobb Jr., Wilmington 28: John Webster, Albemarle Jennifer R. Duncan
7: Takiya Fae Lewis, Ahoskie 29: Richard Costanza, Southern Pines
8: Michael B. Peters, Tarboro William C. Fields Jr., Raeford Publications Editorial Board
9: Jonathan Mark Herring, Kinston 30: H. Ligon Bundy, Monroe Andrea N. Capua, Chair
10: Julie L. Bell, Raleigh 31: George M. Cleland IV, Winston- W. Allen Cobb, Jr., Vice-Chair
Heidi C. Bloom, Raleigh Salem Heidi C. Bloom
Walter E. Brock Jr., Raleigh Kevin G. Williams, Winston- Richard J. Constanza
Ashley H. Campbell, Raleigh Salem Margaret Dickson (Advisory Member)
Katherine Ann Frye, Raleigh 32: Daryl G. Davidson, Taylorsville Patricia Head (Public Member)
Kimberly A. Moore, Raleigh 33: Roy Lawrence McDonald II, Mark P. Henriques (Advisory Member)
Robert Rader, Raleigh Lexington Robert C. Kemp III
Warren Savage, Raleigh 34: John S. Willardson, Wilkesboro Thomas B. Langan
11: James Thomas Burnette, Oxford 35: Andrea N. Capua, Boone Takiya Fee Lewis
12: Eddie S. Winstead III, Sanford 36: M. Alan LeCroy, Morganton Kathleen E. Nix
13: Dionne Loy Fortner, Smithfield 37: Clark R. Bell, Asheboro Timika Shareff-Horton
14: Harold Lee Boughman Jr., 38: Michael Randalph Neece, Gastonia Camille Stell (Advisory Member)
Fayetteville 39: Rebecca J. Pomeroy, Lincolnton Darci White (Advisory Member)
15: Michael R. Ramos, Shallotte 40: Anna Hamrick, Asheville G. Gray Wilson (Advisory Member)
16: Dorothy Hairston Mitchell, Durham 41: Merrimon Burwell Oxley,
4 SPRING 2022
T H E PRES I DE NT’S M ES SA GE
Invisible Signs of the Battles Within
B Y DARRI N D. JO R D AN
The tragic death of Cheslie Kryst has (see bit.ly/JAMreport). One of the more lawyer assistance programs, and also the
been in my thoughts this week. I can think comprehensive studies of our profession in expansion of available attorney-specific pre-
of no more important subject to address in years, if not decades, it revealed several trou- vention and treatment interventions.”
my very first “President’s Message.” bling statistics regarding mental health and Even one tragedy such as Cheslie’s is far
While I fully intended to address issues substance abuse issues among lawyers. too many. Within the ranks of North
involving mental health, sub- Those numbers indicate, Carolina attorneys, there were several similar
stance abuse, and the for attorneys actively tragities in the last year. Just as invisible as the
NCLAP program during my engaged in the practice of signs of the internal struggles that rage with-
tenure of leadership, I failed law: in, neither age, gender, race, nor success (or
to anticipate how imperative • 21% likely meet the cri- lack thereof) provide much assistance in pre-
it would be to share these terion to be deemed a “prob- dicting who will win or lose those battles.
truths immediately. The lem drinker” While being “kind” is not an absolute cure,
practice of law is difficult. • 28% of lawyers experi- kindness along with encouragement to get
You can be an excellent ence mild or higher levels of professional help can be a game changer, or
lawyer, diligent in all regards, depression in some cases, a life saver. I have a friend who
and forget to consider your • 19% experience mild or likes to say, “It’s nice to be nice.” He’s right.
own well-being. If you are higher levels of anxiety I encourage North Carolina attorneys to
going through difficult • 23% experience mild or be zealous advocates for your clients. While
times, struggling with sub- higher levels of stress doing so, treat your opponent with dignity
stance abuse or mental health issues today, “Young” lawyers, those who have prac- and a kind word. Don’t reach only to the
please, I beg of you, ask for help! ticed a decade or less, tend to have the high- attorney who seems to be having a bad day,
Though I didn’t personally know Cheslie, est instances of problems. reach out to the attorney who may be “fight-
I was present when she gave an inspiring See Results: Substantial rates of behav- ing a battle” that is invisible.
speech at the 200th Anniversary Celebration ioral health problems were found, with We have an incredible resource for
of the North Carolina Supreme Court in 20.6% screening positive for hazardous, lawyers, the North Carolina Lawyers
2019. Her reflections were so touching that harmful, and potentially alcohol depend- Assistance Program or NCLAP. Executive
her speech was later published it in the State ent drinking. Men had a higher propor- Director Robynn Moraites and her staff are
Bar Journal. tion of positive screens, and also younger ready, willing, and able to assist you.
Frankly, I have a lot of questions today participants and those working in the Everything you share is strictly confidential.
and feel unsettled. I grieve the loss of a shin- field for a shorter duration. Age group Reeach out to them online at nclap.org. n
ing star who had so much potential and so predicted Alcohol Use Disorders
many wonderful qualities and strengths. Identification Test scores; respondents 30 Darrin D. Jordan is a partner with the
How could Cheslie, of all people, be taken years of age or younger were more likely law firm of Whitley, Jordan, Inge & Rary, PA.
from us? How could someone who appeared to have a higher score than their older He maintains a criminal practice in both state
on top of the world meet such a tragic end? peers. Levels of depression, anxiety, and and federal court and is a board certified spe-
Could I or anyone else have helped? stress among attorneys were significant, cialist in state criminal law. While he practices
Of course, those answers are hard to with 28%, 19%, and 23% experiencing in his hometown of Salisbury, he lives in
come by. We know mental health issues are symptoms of depression, anxiety, and Kannapolis.
not just common in our profession. They stress, respectively. Note: I would like to thank my good friend
are endemic. The study further made clear, “Attorneys and great lawyer, Bill Powers, for helping me
Robin Williams is noted for saying, experience problematic drinking that is haz- put to words thoughts that for some reason were
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you ardous, harmful, or otherwise consistent not making it to paper. We both share in our
know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” He, with alcohol use disorders at a higher rate concern and compassion for lawyers and people
more than many, knew that all too well. than other professional populations. Mental who are being adversely affected by mental ill-
The Journal of Addiction Medicine pub- health distress is also significant. These data ness or substance abuse. Bill is the kind of friend
lished a disturbing report in February 2016 underscore the need for greater resources for we should all seek.
T H E N O RT H C A RO L I N A S TAT E B A R J O U R N A L 5
The Wilmington Ten—Starting
a Conversation
BY B I L L POW E R S AN D C H R I S B ED DOW
O
ur purpose in writing this arti-
cle is twofold. First, we want
to highlight the notorious, yet
relatively unknown, case of the
Wilmington Ten and its impact on North Carolina jurisprudence.
Matt Born/StarNews
Second, we hope to start a conversation regarding generational
wrongs in our system of justice.
As lawyers, it is incumbent upon us to ed- Wilmington Ten in 2012.1 be accurately told without acknowledging the
ucate ourselves regarding our history, includ- Recently retired Honorable Jesse Caldwell historical context of the 1898 coup d'état in
ing the negative aspects of our collective past. III provided invaluable insights into the hu- Wilmington, NC. The tragedy of what took
That is particularly true when lawyers and manity of James “Jay” Stroud, the prosecutor place is both particularly poignant, if not dis-
the legal profession are tied in an inseparable assigned to the matters. turbingly similar to current social discourse.
nexus with that history, be it good or bad. We have purposely not reached out to the Many very educated lawyers know almost
In researching the topic, we have been still-living individuals comprising the Wilm- nothing about the Wilmington Ten and what
honored to personally consult with some of ington Ten. Their pain remains palpable, and began 70 years before, with the coup d'état
the living legends involved in the case of the we did not want to exacerbate it by asking and the unrelenting, successful pursuit of Jim
Wilmington Ten, including criminal defense them to reflect on their experiences. We’ve Crow laws. Some know but rather not think
attorneys par excellence James “Fergie” Fer- read about and, therefore, respect their ex- on such things.
guson and Irving Joyner. pressed desire to be left alone and to tell or North Carolinians, especially those in
We also spoke with former NC Supreme not tell their individual stories as they see fit. Charlotte and Raleigh, may be surprised to
Court Justice Mark Davis, who served as legal learn Wilmington was once the largest and
counsel for Governor Beverly Purdue when The Port City most wealthy city in North Carolina.2 With
she issued a pardon of innocence to the The story of the Wilmington Ten cannot its deep-water port, it was an epicenter of
6 SPRING 2022
national and regional commerce supplying Carolina, and eventually the 50th governor With it came a demand for closure of the
pine tar, rice, and tobacco during the Civil of North Carolina.16 Wilmington Record, threatening “...[W]hen
War and Reconstruction. Wilmington also In his 1903 speech, “The Negro Prob- the negro paper of this city published an ar-
served as a railhead for North Carolina and lem,” Aycock professed: ticle so vile and slanderous that it would in
the southeast.3 These things are not said in enmity to the most communities have resulted in the lynch-
Civic life included active participation of negro but in regard for him. He consti- ing of the editor.”25
all segments of the community, including tutes one third of the population of my Waddell gave African American politicians
African Americans.4 That was, in part, an state: he has always been my personal 12 hours to respond to the manifesto and re-
intended effect of the passage of the 14th friend; as a lawyer I have often defended nounce their elected offices.26
Amendment in 1866 (ratified in 1868), the him, and as governor I have frequently With their demands unmet, Waddell, to-
15th Amendment (ratified in 1870), and the protected him. But there flows in my veins gether with armed “Red Shirt” vigilantes and
Reconstruction Act of 1867.5 the blood of the dominant race; that race other white supremacists, proceeded to
It also helped that a condition precedent that has conquered the earth and seeks Thalian Hall in Wilmington.27
for seceding states’ re-entry into the United out the mysteries of the heights and Waddell forced the resignation, by gun-
States included banning high-ranking offi- depths. If manifest destiny leads to the point, of the Wilmington chief of police, the
cers of the confederacy from participation in seizure of Panama, it is certain that it like- Board of Aldermen, and Republican Mayor
the formation of the “new North Carolina.”6 wise leads to the dominance of the Cau- Silas P. Wright.28
Congress imposed, by military occupation, casian. When the negro recognizes this As each official “resigned,” Waddell ap-
inclusion of African Americans into the body fact we shall have peace and good will pointed an “Anglo-Saxon” as their replace-
politic.7 between the races.17 (Emphasis added.) ment, saving for himself the mayorship of
Federal troops remained in areas of the The Aycock Residence Hall at UNC Wilmington, a position he retained until
south until 1877 as agreed upon in the Chapel Hill was named in his honor, as was 1905.29
Hayes-Tilden compromise which settled the the Aycock Auditorium at UNC Greensboro. With that, the “Solid South” was ce-
hotly disputed results of the 1876 United Aycock Residence Hall has since been re- mented as the power-wielding class in Wilm-
States presidential election.8 named. In February 2016, the Board of ington, with the White Declaration of Inde-
Republican Rutherford B. Hayes became Trustees at UNC Greensboro voted to remove pendence as printed in the Raleigh News and
president over Democrat Samuel J. Tilden as Aycock’s name from its auditorium.18 Observer on November 10, 1898, “We, the
part of the “compromise.”9 The quid pro quo Furnifold McLendel Simmons was a undersigned citizens of the city of Wilming-
included the proviso that Hayes would remove member of the US House of Representatives ton and county of New Hanover, do hereby
federal troops then quartered in southern and a United States senator representing declare that we will no longer be ruled, and
states, signaling the “end of Reconstruction.”10 North Carolina for 30 years.19 will never again be ruled, by men of African
For a time, Wilmington served as a direct In late 1897, a group of prominent Wilm- origin.”30
repudiation of the irrefutable Democratic ington men began plotting to take back con- Shortly thereafter, in 1899, the North
Party’s racist ideology. That was until Golds- trol of the Wilmington government.20 The Carolina General Assembly began its system-
boro Attorney Charles Aycock, Democratic group, called the “Secret Nine,” began to atic attack on Reconstruction with the en-
Party State Chair Furnifold Simmons, and work with Simmons, Daniels, and Aycock actment, by statute (session laws), of literacy
the owner of the Raleigh News and Observer, as they built the 1898 democratic campaign, tests, poll taxes, and mandatory voter “re-
Josephus Daniels, began their efforts toward, focusing on white supremacy.21 registration.”31
“...[R]edemption of North Carolina from Also involved was Alfred Waddell, a To ignore those laws, and the related in-
‘Negro Domination.’”11 Those stalwarts of Wilmington attorney who gained statewide tents and purposes, is to ignore the disturbing
white supremacy espoused the goal that, notoriety in declaring during a speech, “We history of codified racism in North Carolina
“[African Americans] had to be kept away will never surrender to a ragged raffle of Ne- that is well within the memory of many who
from the polls by any means necessary.”12 groes, even if we have to choke the Cape Fear lived in the Tarheel State at the time.
Daniels, a “progressive Democrat,” was River with carcasses.”22
secretary of the navy during World War I.13 Waddell was a US congressman and lieu- The Wilmington Ten
He was also the 10th United States ambassa- tenant colonel in the confederate Third Cal- Seventy years of Black Codes and Jim
dor to Mexico and reportedly a close friend vary/Forty-First North Carolina Regiment.23 Crow laws, the objectives of which included
of President Franklin D. Roosevelt.14 The Democrats’ work on their white su- subverting Reconstruction and disenfranchis-
He publicly lamented in a January 28, premacy campaign culminated in the events ing, by statute, African Americans, had a sub-
1900, editorial in the Raleigh News and Ob- that took place in Wilmington in November stantial, lasting effect in North Carolina.
server that “The greatest folly and crime in 1898. From the close of the 19th century and
our national history was the establishment Any level of social equity in the Port City continuing through the mid-1960s, North
of [N]egro suffrage immediately after the ended on November 9, 1898, when Waddell, Carolina endured perpetual racial discord.
[Civil] War. Not a single good thing has come at the behest of the “Secret Nine,” went to Wilmington was no exception nor was it,
of it, but only evil.”15 the New Hanover County courthouse and frankly, particularly unique in that regard.32
Charles Brantley Aycock was a lawyer, the presented a White Declaration of Independence, A resurgence of violence and racial ten-
US attorney for the Eastern District of North “to assert the supremacy of the white man.”24 sions culminated nationwide when the Rev-
T H E N O RT H C A RO L I N A S TAT E B A R J O U R N A L 7
erend Martin Luther King Jr. cancelled his to the desegregation plan proposed by the Eugene Templeton, the white pastor of the
April 4, 1968, speaking engagement at Willis- Department of Health, Education and Wel- integrated Gregory Congregational United
ton High School in Wilmington.33 fare and the plaintiffs in this case.’”37 Church of Christ, offered his church as a
Instead of traveling to Wilmington, Dr. The Order in Eaton in relevant part sets meeting place for students and protestors.45
King stayed in Memphis, Tennessee, where forth, “The plan hereby adopted is effective On Thursday, February 4, 1971, reports
he was assassinated that same day. to convert the New Hanover County School circulated that Gregory Congregational
System to a unitary system. There will no would be bombed.46
Williston High School longer be Black schools and white schools but As described by the Fourth Circuit, “A
On May 27, 1968, the US Supreme Court just schools as required by law. Green, supra.”38 group of students decided to stay in the
issued several landmark decisions regarding The New Hanover Board of Education, church and defend it. In fact it was not
desegregation of schools in Green v. County in response to Judge Butler’s Order, chose to bombed, but a shooting spree began through-
School Board of New Kent County (1968), close Williston High School.39 out the church neighborhood and continued
Monroe v. Board of Commissioners (1968), and Williston High School traced its origins for four days.”47
Raney v. Board of Education (1968).35 to a freedmen’s school that opened in 1866.40 In its opinion overturning the convictions
In Eaton v. New Hanover County Board of Students from Williston, all of whom were of the Wilmington Ten, the court explained,
Education, Chief Judge Butler wrote, first ref- African American, were transferred to the all- Mike’s Grocery Store in Wilmington,
erencing the US Supreme Court decisions, white Hoggard and New Hanover High North Carolina, was firebombed and
“[T]his court found that the New Hanover Schools, resulting in persistent violent out- burned on February 6, 1971, and the per-
County public school system was an uncon- breaks between students.41 petrators of that crime, using various
stitutional, racially dual system and directed The Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals, in weapons, fired upon the firemen and po-
that it be converted to a unitary system at the opinion Chavis v. State of North Carolina, licemen attempting to extinguish the fire.
the earliest practicable date.”36 writes regarding the closure of Williston, “As Benjamin F. Chavis and his nine co-peti-
Judge Butler further stated, “On July 15, a protest, Black students boycotted the tioners were variously convicted in the Su-
1971, the school board filed written objec- schools during the last week of January 1971. perior Court of Pender County, North Car-
tions to the plan submitted by the United There were counter-activities on the part of olina, of felonious burning of that property
States Office of Education. In addition to whites.”42 and conspiracy to assault emergency per-
general objections to the plan, the school Rioting and arson broke out in Wilming- sonnel at the scene of the burning.48
board specifically objects on the ground that ton, as armed white supremacists began pa- The “Wilmington Ten” were mostly
the plan will require an additional 38 school trolling African American neighborhoods.43 young, African American students.49 No one
buses, and that ‘[d]ue to the costs involved, The Wilmington school superintendent saw them set fire to Mike’s Grocery Store.50
the uncertainty of available funds to buy extra met with students, hearing their complaints, The way they were convicted, and the sys-
buses, the necessity of obtaining additional hoping to tamp down tensions. He was there- tematic racism exhibited by Prosecutor
trained bus drivers, the inconvenience to chil- after hung in effigy by local Ku Klux Klan Stroud, violate any rational definition of true
dren and parents, the additional time and members and “The Rights of White People” justice, due process, and equal protection un-
hazards of bus travel, the defendant objects white supremacist organization.44 Reverend der the law.
The Rev Ben Chavis greets supporters and protestors in February 1976 during the trial of The Trials of the Wilmington Ten
Wilmington Ten members. Photo courtesy of the StarNews. The case of the Wilmington Ten was first
called to trial in June of 1972.51 The trial
ended with a mistrial due to the sudden illness
of the prosecutor.52
One would be remiss in failing to note,
the possible panel of jurors for the first trial
consisted of ten African Americans and two
Caucasians.53 Jury selection had not been
completed. Jurors had not been empaneled
prior to the mistrial.
On the back of a yellow legal pad, Prose-
cutor Stroud, in his distinctive handwriting,
wrote “Disadvantages of a Mistrial” on the
left side and “Advantages of a Mistrial” on
the right side.54
Stroud cited as advantages, “Different
Judge,” and “...[F]resh start new jury from
another county,” and the disadvantage of,
“Possibly get Judges Chess, Godwin, or
Copeland on new trial.”55
8 SPRING 2022
The notes of the prosecutor were not dis- witness to the jury;
covered until 2008. They were in a closet at and,
the District Attorney’s Office, marked, 3. Refusal of the
“Wilmington Ten – Do Not Open.”56 trial court to permit
After a second jury selection in September cross-examination of
1972, this time with a panel of ten Caucasian the same key witness
and two African American jurors, and in part and another signifi-
assisted by extremely favorable rulings by a cant witness regarding
different judge not from New Hanover special favorable living
County, convictions were secured on all ten conditions furnished
defendants.57 to them by the prose-
Superior Court Judge Robert M. Martin cution; and,
presided over the case. Judge Martin practiced 4. Concealment
law in High Point until he was appointed by by the prosecutor of
Governor Moore as a special superior court inducements for tes-
judge and re-appointed by Governor Scott. timony and special fa-
Judge Martin thereafter resigned as judge of vorable treatment of-
the superior court to accept an appointment fered to each of three
by Governor Holshouser to fulfill the unex- important prosecu-
pired term of Justice Webb on the North tion witnesses includ-
Carolina Court of Appeals. After an unsuc- ing leniency, accom- Protesters gather in Wilmington in August 1978 to demand the release
cessful bid for election to the Supreme Court, modations at a beach of Wilmington Ten members from jail. Photo courtesy of the StarNews.
he was re-appointed to the court of appeals motel and a beach
by Governor Hunt.58 cottage paid for by the
Pursuant to Superior Court Judge Martin’s prosecution, an expense-paid trip for the girl- Stroud was considered, by friends and ene-
entry of judgment, members of the Wilming- friend of the chief witness, and the gift of a mies alike, to be bright, competitive, and fas-
ton Ten were imprisoned for periods that minibike made after trial; and, tidious. He wrote exhaustive notes in the
ranged from three to five years. For a period of 5. The prosecution’s use of testimony of beautiful handwriting that would later expose
time, all ten were out of prison on bail awaiting each of its three key witnesses which it knew the nature and extent of his depravity.
decisions from various appellate courts. The or had reason to know was perjured.61 Mr. Stroud was known for using his large
length of the actual served prison time varied The Fourth Circuit set forth, “In deciding frame to physically intimidate others. He was
based on each individual. Ben Chavis served the case, however, it is not necessary for us to a bully possessing, in today’s standards, an
the longest period of incarceration. delve into contested facts, because we think almost unimaginable amount of unfettered
A fair read of the transcript of the proceed- that the prosecution’s failure to produce and power and discretion.
ings and legal rulings are disturbing at best. make available to the defense counsel the If Stroud wanted to speak with opposing
‘amended’ statement and the record of the counsel, he would either refuse to hang up,
Commutation and Overturned hospitalization of the state’s key witness and stating, “I’ll hold,” or make his way to the
Convictions the restrictions upon cross-examination of attorney’s waiting room, similarly refusing to
After three witnesses for the state recanted the key witness and another about favorable leave until he spoke with the lawyer.
their testimony, a CBS 60-Minutes exposé, treatment which might have induced favor- Professional colleagues describe him as a
and Amnesty International declaring the able testimony require us to overturn the con- prosecutor who would do anything and
Wilmington Ten “political prisoners of con- victions.”62 everything to win. (Now, younger attorneys
science,” Governor James B. Hunt commuted James Ferguson, a prominent civil rights may not fully understand the nature and cir-
the sentences in 1978.59 attorney from Charlotte, served as counsel cumstances of Wilmington Ten convictions
The Fourth Circuit overturned their con- for some of the defendants comprising the because our courts, and lawyers within the
victions citing gross prosecutorial misconduct Wilmington Ten. According to Hon. Jesse system, lived in a different era. Societal norms
in 1980.60 Caldwell III, “Fergie was with them all the in the 1970s, with the associated belief sys-
The Wilmington Ten co-petitioners com- way and celebrated with the Wilmington Ten tems and standards of practice may be at
plained of: when they received their pardon. It took times hard to imagine or recall, even for those
1. Due Process violations, including tremendous courage for an African American who lived during those troubled times. That
preclusion of the rights of confrontation and attorney like Ferguson to serve as counsel. is not intended as an excuse. Even after
cross examination and a fair trial and impar- He never flinched in his steadfast and out- decades of hard work and dedication by legal
tial jury; and, standing advocacy, despite all kinds of hurdles professionals throughout North Carolina to
2. Concealment by the prosecutor and he himself had to endure during the trial.” effect positive change, our criminal justice
trial court of an “amended” pretrial statement system, like society, remains fraught with in-
of a key witness containing crucial impeach- Racially Motivated Prosecution equities and biases.)
ment material and falsely described by the Assistant District Attorney James “Jay” ADA Stroud also had the benefit of work-
T H E N O RT H C A RO L I N A S TAT E B A R J O U R N A L 9
so in love and compassion for the down-
trodden and those around them.
—James E. Ferguson II
This year has served as a stark reminder
of the division that exists within our country.
Turning a blind eye to past injustice led
by and effectuated by lawyers hinders our ef-
fectiveness to combat and prevent institu-
tional wrongs. We believe that, as lawyers,
we have an ethical and moral duty to make a
meaningful impact on our profession by ad-
vocating for the equitable administration of
justice regardless of race, color or creed.
We must use our legal education for good
and to the service of others. From everyone
who has been given much, much will be de-
manded; and from the one who has been en-
The Wilmington Ten held a press conference at Central Prison in Raleigh in January 1978 to trusted with much, much more will be asked.
denounce Governor Jim Hunt’s decision not to pardon them. Second to left is Ben Chavis and to his That begins first with acknowledging past
left is attorney James Ferguson. Photo courtesy of UNC Press; The New Hanover Public Library. wrongdoings in the profession. Thereafter,
the lawyers and legal professionals must ac-
tively engage in the holistic effort to fight for
ing within a court system that to this day “[K]nows; sensible; Uncle Tom type.”69 equal justice under the law. n
vests prosecutors with substantial docket/cal- After winning the Wilmington Ten trial,
endaring control and the tremendous re- Jay Stroud moved on to serve as an assistant Bill Powers helps clients with DWI, criminal
sources of the state. United States attorney, later securing an in- defense, and collaborative family law issues. He
But for the elected district attorney in dictment in yet another infamous prosecu- is a former president of the North Carolina Ad-
New Hanover County, Ben David, and an tion, the Jeffrey MacDonald case.70 vocates for Justice, a founding member of the
industrious professor at Duke University, In a twist of fate, from 2006 to 2012, Center for Legal Education and Advocacy, and
Timothy Tyson, the Wilmington Ten very Stroud was convicted of different criminal a recipient of the North Carolina State Bar John
likely would have never received a Pardon of offenses ranging from domestic violence to B. McMillan Distinguished Service Award.
Innocence from Governor Beverly Perdue.63 repeatedly ramming cars. Chris Beddow is an associate attorney at
In 2008, after David’s staff found the box He became a courthouse pariah with sub- Powers Law Firm, PA. He primarily represents
of materials from the case, they were turned stantial psychiatric issues, culminating in a clients in North and South Carolina charged
over to Tyson.64 Ben David said, “The role ban from the Gaston County courthouse. with felony and misdemeanor criminal offenses.
of a prosecutor is to seek justice and to do Chris obtained his JD from the University of
what is right. It has been an honor to help.” Moving Forward South Carolina School of Law (2015) and his
It wasn’t until an aide examined the box that The Wilmington Ten is but one example MBA from the University of South Carolina
Tyson realized that he had something truly of the history of disparate treatment of people Darla Moore School of Business (2020).
explosive.65 of color within the North Carolina judicial Special thanks to research assistant and fact
In addition to the Fourth Circuit opinion, system. checker Jacob Rabin and to those both on and
Governor Perdue cited the box of materials The role of lawyers, particularly after the off the record for their kind assistance in con-
turned over by District Attorney David that coup d'état of 1898, the resulting institution- firming the accuracy of these materials and pro-
included Prosecutor Stroud’s notes.66 Indeed, alized racism due to “end of Reconstruction,” viding necessary context.
Governor Perdue noted, “These convictions and the associated Hayes-Tilden “compro-
were tainted by naked racism and represent mise” cannot be overlooked. Endnotes
an ugly stain on North Carolina’s criminal jus- Bill Powers has courageously addressed 1. Henkel, C. Gov, Perdue pardons the Wilmington 10,
tice system that cannot be allowed to stand one of greatest injustices in our judicial The Pulse (2012), bit.ly/Wilmington10-1.
any longer.”67 history in North Carolina. We should all 2. NC Business History - North Carolina City/Town
Populations 1800–1900, bit.ly/Wilmington 10-2.
Specifically, Stroud recorded in his voir heed his call to address all injustices as
3. Island Life NC, Wilmington's Railroad History - Island
dire notes, “[P]robably KKK!!” and “Does and whenever they occur. Addressing in- Life NC, bit.ly/Wilmington10-3; Wilmington has a long
not have a record – KKK!!” and “Good name justice, in whatever form from whatever history of injustice, exclusion of Black residents, Star News,
and location – KKK if white.”68 time, starts with acknowledging its exis- bit.ly/Wilmington10-4.
Stroud also recorded in his notes, further tence and continues through honest dia- 4. Id.
exposing his intentional race-based jury se- logue. I encourage the younger generation 5. 14th Amendment, bit.ly/Wilmington 10-5; The Civil
lection, “Stay away from Black men” and to step up and make right decisions, doing War: The Senate's Story - Landmark Legislation: The
Reconstruction Act of 1867, bit.ly/Wilmington10-6.
10 SPRING 20226. Constitution Annotated, Fourteenth Amendment, consti- 25. The White Declaration of Independence, bit.ly/ nica.com/topic/Wilmington-Ten.
tution.congress.gov/browse/amendment-14/section-3. Wilmington10-16. 50. NC DNR, The Wilmington 10 and Firebombing of
7. 14th Amendment, history.com/topics/black-history/ 26. New Hanover County, Wilmington Massacre and Mike’s Grocery, NC Dep’t of Natural & Cultural
fourteenth-amendment; Equal Justice Initiative, Federal Coup d'état of 1898 - Timeline of Events, bit.ly/ Resources (Feb. 6, 2016), bit.ly/Wilmington10-25.
Troops Leave South, Ending Reconstruction, Wilmington10-12. 51. Cash Michaels, Wilmington 10 prosecutor sought ‘KKK’
calendar.eji.org/racial-injustice/apr/24. 27. Caleb Crain, What a White-Supremacist Coup Looks jury, The Louisiana Weekly (Sept. 17, 2012),
8. Id.; History.com, Compromise of 1877, available at: his- Like, The New Yorker (Apr. 20, 2020), bit.ly/ bit.ly/Wilmington10-26.
tory.com/topics/us-presidents/compromise-of-1877. Wilmington10-17; New Hanover County, Wilmington 52. Wayne King, The Case Against the Wilmington Ten, The
9. Id. Massacre and Coup d'état of 1898 - Timeline of Events, New York Times (Dec. 3, 1978), nyti.ms/3HtcbyL.
bit.ly/Wilmington10-12.
10. Equal Justice Initiative, Federal Troops Leave South, 53. Cash Michaels, The story of the Wilmington Ten Stroud
Ending Reconstruction, calendar.eji.org/racial-injustice/ 28. Id.; Timothy B. Tyson, The Ghosts of 1898, The News files, Westside Gazette (April 13, 2014), bit.ly/
apr/24; History.com, Compromise of 1877, history.com/ & Observer (Nov. 17, 2006), bit.ly/Wilmington10-13. Wilmington10-28.
topics/us-presidents/compromise-of-1877. 29. Scott Newuman, A North Carolina city begins to reckon 54. Steven Almasy, North Carolina governor pardons
11. Irving Joyner, African American Political Participation with the massacre in its white supremacist past, NPR ‘Wilmington 10,’ CNN (Jan. 1, 2013),
in North Carolina: An Illusion of Political Progress? Wake (Nov. 10, 2021), n.pr/3L76tVw; Kent McCoury, cnn.com/2012/12/31/justice/north-carolina-wilming-
Forest Law & Pol’y Journal (2016), bit.ly/ Alfred Moore Waddell (1834-1912), North Carolina ton-10/index.html; Cash Michaels, Wilmington 10
Wilmington10-7. History Project (2016), bit.ly/Wilmington10-14. prosecutor sought ‘KKK’ jury, The Louisiana Weekly
12. Id. 30. The White Declaration of Independence, bit.ly/ (Sept. 17, 2012), bit.ly/Wilmington10-26; Cash
Wilmington10-16. Michaels, Exclusive: Wilmington Ten prosecutor called
13. Craig, Lee A, Josephus Daniels: His Life and Times, The
31. James L. Hunt, Disfranchisement, NCPEDIA (2006), “delusional” for defending “frameup,” The Wilmington
University of North Carolina Press (May 2013), unc-
ncpedia.org/disfranchisement. Journal (Nov. 29. 2012), bit.ly/Wilmington10-29.
press.org/book/97814696 53235/josephus-daniels.
32. Dr. Flora B. Brown, African American Civil Rights in 55. Cash Michaels, UNC legal expert says pardons deserved
14. List of ambassadors of the United States to Mexico,
North Carolina, NCPEDIA (2004), bit.ly/ in Wilmington 10 case, The Wilmington Journal (Dec.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ambassadors_of_the_U
Wilmington10-18; Constitutional Rights Foundation, 26, 2012), bit.ly/Wilmington10-30.
nited_States_to_Mexico; Constitutional Law Reporter,
Josephus Daniels, constitutionallawreporter.com/great- A brief History of Jim Crow, bit.ly/Wilmington10-19; 56. Cash Michaels, The story of the Wilmington Ten Stroud
american-biographies/josephus-daniels. Kira Felsenfeld (2019), A Charge Toward the Past: The files, Westside Gazette (April 13, 2014),
1898 Wilmington Race Riot Commission and Its Political bit.ly/Wilmington10-28.
15. W. Joseph Campbell, “One of the fine figures of
Implications, bit.ly/Wilmington10-20. 57. Cash Michaels, Wilmington 10 prosecutor sought ‘KKK’
American journalism,” A Closer Look at Josephus Daniels
of the Raleigh News and Observer, American Journalism 33. Elizabeth Hines, Wilmington Ten, britannica. jury, The Louisiana Weekly (Sept. 17, 2012), bit.ly/
(1999), bit.ly/Wilmington10-8. com/topic/Wilmington-Ten. Wilmington10-26.
16. Architect of the Capitol, Charles Brantley Aycock 34. History.com, Martin Luther King Jr. is assassinated, 58. Id.; Justice David M. Britt, A History of the North
Statue, aoc.gov/explore-capitol-campus/art/charles- bit.ly/Wilmington10-21. Carolina Court of Appeals, NC Courts (2008), bit.ly/
brantley-aycock-statue. 35. See Green v. County School Board, 391 U.S. 430 (1968), Wilmington10-31.
17. ANCHOR: A North Carolina Online History casetext.com/case/green-v-county-school-board; 59. Cash Michaels, Wilmington 10 prosecutor sought ‘KKK’
Resource, Governor Aycock on “The Negro Problem,” Monroe v. Board of Comm’rs, 391 U.S. 450 (1968), case- jury, The Louisiana Weekly (Sept. 17, 2012), bit.ly/
ncpedia.org/anchor/governor-aycock-negro. text.com/case/monroe-v-board-of-commissioners; Raney Wilmington10-26; Cash Michaels, Gov. Bev Perdue issues
v. Board of Education, 391 U.W. 443 (1968), pardon for Wilmington 10 citing ‘Naked Racism’,
18. Susan Hudson, The men behind the names, The
casetext.com/case/raney-v-board-of-education. Milwaukee Courier (Jan. 5, 2013), bit.ly/
University of North Carolina Chapel Hill (July 17,
36. See Eaton v. New Hanover County Board of Education, Wilmington10-32.
2020), unc.edu/posts/2020/07/17/names-of-dishonor;
John Newsom, UNCG drops Aycock name from auditori- 330 F.Supp.78 (E.D.N.C. 1971), casetext.com/case/ 60. Id.; See generally, Chavis v. State of North Carolina, 637
um, News & Record (Feb. 18, 2016), bit.ly/ eaton-v-new-hanover-county-board-of-education. F.2d 213 (4th Cir. 1980), bit.ly/Wilmington10-24.
Wilmington10-9. 37. Id. at 78-79. 61. See Chavis v. State of North Carolina, 637 F.2d at 215,
19. Richard L. Watson Jr., Simmons, Furnifold McLendel, 38. Id. at 80. bit.ly/Wilmington10-24.
NCPEDIA (1994), ncpedia.org/biography/simmons- 39. Cammie Bellamy, When Williston closed, Star News 62. Id.
furnifold. (July 2, 2018), bit.ly/Wilmington10-22. 63. Steven Almasy, North Carolina governor pardons
20. Wilmington Riot of 1898, bit.ly/Wilmington10-10; 40. What is the history of Williston High School?, Star News, ‘Wilmington 10,’ CNN (Jan. 1, 2013), cnn.com/
Wilmington insurrection of 1898, bit.ly/Wilmington10-11; bit.ly/Wilmington10-23. 2012/12/31/justice/north-carolina-wilmington-
New Hanover County, Wilmington Massacre and Coup d'é- 10/index.html.
41. Elizabeth Hines, Wilmington Ten, Britannica, britan-
tat of 1898 - Timeline of Events, bit.ly/Wilmington10-12.
nica.com/topic/Wilmington-Ten. 64. Cash Michaels, The story of the Wilmington Ten Stroud
21. Jacob Michael Thomas, The Cape Fear Ran Red: files, Westside Gazette (April 13, 2014), bit.ly/
42. See Chavis v. State of North Carolina, 637 F.2d 213,
Memory of the Wilmington Race Riot and Coup D’état of Wilmington10-28.
215 (4th Cir. 1980), bit.ly/Wilmington10-24.
1898. Marshall Digital Scholar (2019),
43. Philip Gerard, The 1970s: The Wilmington 10, Our 65. Id.
mds.marshall.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2267&c
ontext=etd. State (May 2, 2021), ourstate.com/the-1970s-the- 66. Steven Almasy, North Carolina governor pardons
wilmington-10; Elizabeth Hines, Wilmington Ten, BRI- ‘Wilmington 10,’ CNN. (Jan. 1, 2013),
22. Timothy B. Tyson, The Ghosts of 1898, News &
TANNICA, britannica.com/topic/Wilmington-Ten. cnn.com/2012/12/31/justice/north-carolina-wilming-
Observer (Nov. 17, 2006), bit.ly/Wilmington10-13.
44. Bruce Siceloff, Four decades later, Ben Chavis and the ton-10/index.html.
23. Kent McCoury, Alfred Moore Waddell (1834-1912),
Wilmington ten seek a declaration of innocence, Charlotte 67. Id., Cash Michaels, Wilmington Ten prosecutor called
North Carolina History Project (2016), bit.ly/
Observer (May 18, 2022), bit.ly/Wilmington10-27. ‘delusional’ for defending ‘racist’ actions, Westside Gazette
Wilmington10-14.
45. Elizabeth Hines, Wilmington Ten, Britannica, britan- (Dec. 12, 2012), bit.ly/Wilmington10-33.
24. North Carolina’s Race Feud; Steps Taken by Wilmington
nica.com/topic/Wilmington-Ten. 68. Cash Michaels, Wilmington 10 prosecutor sought ‘KKK’
Citizens “to Assert the Supremacy of the White Man,” The
46. See Chavis v. State of North Carolina, 637 F.2d at 216, jury, The Louisiana Weekly (Sept. 17, 2012),
New York Times (Nov. 10, 1898), nyti.ms/35N57PM;
bit.ly/Wilmington10-24. bit.ly/Wilmington10-26.
Rick Holmes. Telling Wilmington’s Secrets.
rickholmes.net/telling-wilmingtons-secrets; LeRae 47. Id. 69. Cash Michaels, UNC legal expert says pardons deserved
Umflett, The Wilmington Coup – 1898, NCPEDIA, 48. Id. at 214.
bit.ly/Wilmington10-15. 49. Elizabeth Hines, Wilmington Ten, Britannica, britan- CONTINUED ON PAGE 22
T H E N O RT H C A RO L I N A S TAT E B A R J O U R N A L 11Are We Ready to Talk About
Suicide Yet?
B Y LY N N S. GA R S ON
“I
nspiration” is an odd word to see written in the same sen-
tence as “suicide.” Nevertheless, I was inspired to write
this paper by a speaker at a recent webinar on well-being
in law. Asked for her proudest accomplishment since
joining a big law firm as its wellness officer, the speaker pointed unequivocally to the nor-
Sergey Nivens/Shutterstock.com
malization of words such as “depression,” “anxiety,” and even “suicide.”
She felt strongly that if we are ever to critical topic of all.
move past the pernicious stigma attached to
mental health and substance use issues, we Lived Experience
have to be able to say the words attached to
such challenges out loud, without judgment, My Story from the Inside Out unbearable feeling of isolation in the wake of
without that little pause to check internally At age 16, I remember for the first time divorce and a subsequent decision to try get-
whether we are at risk of dropping a hot being able to name certain difficult, painful ting back together with my ex-husband.
potato into the conversation. feelings as depression, and for decades I Wayne is a wonderful man and we get
Speaking as one with plenty of experi- cycled between relatively stable, happy inter- along famously now, but my decision to get
ence as the person who, quite unintention- vals and fairly dark, depressed periods. Those back together at that time was a function of
ally, stops conversations by simply talking decades were the good times. They ended in warring instincts that ultimately broke me. I
about mental health challenges, I, too, November 2007 with a six-month period had one voice inside screaming, “I can’t stand
would like to change the status quo. Like the during which I went from mild to middling this anymore, I want my family back, I want
speaker, it would be my proudest accom- depression to rock bottom. By day 180, my my life back, I want my community back.”
plishment to now play a role in starting the diagnosis was major clinical depression and, (I lived in Wayne’s town and had not been
conversations, not stopping them. This arti- for the first time in my life, anxiety—specif- there long enough for his friends, who com-
cle initiates my first such conversation with ically, catastrophic anxiety and panic disor- prised most of my community, to gravitate
everything I know about suicide, the most der. What led me there was an intense, to me.) The other voice insisted that the
12 SPRING 2022“...[h]eaded to the Harris Teeter grocery store on Colonial Avenue in Norfolk, Virginia, I looked
into the grille of an oncoming vehicle and had the conscious thought, ‘If that car moves over into
my lane, I will not turn the wheel to get out of the way.’”
divorce had happened for a reason and that not keep living this way. The psychic pain got close enough to the edge of the abyss to
this was a bad, bad idea. While my internal was unbearable and, like a fox in a trap, the gain an understanding of how someone can
war raged, my health on all fronts got worse time was nearing when I would do anything reach the point that taking one’s life is an
and worse. I could not eat, sleep, or breathe. to escape. option, and perhaps from within that per-
Sometimes I would lie on the floor of my In May 2008, headed to the Harris Teeter son’s skin, the only option.
office with my feet propped against the door grocery store on Colonial Avenue in
so that no one would walk in—the door had Norfolk, Virginia, I looked into the grille of My Story from the Outside In
no lock—and struggle to take at least one an oncoming vehicle and had the conscious In February 2020 I received a call from a
relaxing breath. It never happened. thought, “If that car moves over into my very close friend, Julia, that she and her hus-
Unlike a number of lawyers who find lane, I will not turn the wheel to get out of band, Tom, were on their way to their son’s
themselves in mental or emotional crisis, I the way.” An instant later the fact that I’d had apartment because she was very fearful that
did seek help. I sought help everywhere: tra- such a thought caught up with me, and for he had taken his life. This was not a fantasy
ditional talk therapy, hypnotism, Native the first time I realized that death was a very on her part. Their son, Paul, had struggled
American sweat lodges, you name it. And the possible—even likely—outcome, if not right for many of his 33 years with bipolar depres-
medications…at times four different pre- here, right now, then soon. In that first sion, had made one previous attempt to take
scriptions, titrating up, titrating down, add moment, I was incredulous—it was impossi- his life, and of late had not been doing well.
one, take one away. I’d never heard of the ble to take in or to believe. Dying by my own My office was very close to Paul’s apartment,
word “titrate”—continuously adjust the bal- hand? That was not part of the plan; living a and I said please call me when they arrived,
ance—until then, but it became a constant long and (sometimes) happy life had been but I was sure that he was just not answering
drumbeat to which I marched. Despite the promised to me and the fulfillment of that his phone and would open the door when
well-intentioned efforts of all of the local promise was an entitlement. they knocked. In no way did I imagine that
healers who tried to put Humpty Dumpty Incredulity did not linger, and on its the worst had actually happened, but it had.
back together again, at the time nothing heels followed a terror that I do not have the When I picked up the phone to take Julia’s
worked. language to describe. Even now, 13 years call, she was screaming and crying, “He did
Like many lawyers in similar circum- later and many of them spent as a mental it, he did it.” Shocking as that was, by that
stances, I told no one at my office about my health advocate, it hurts and frightens me to time I’d been a mental health advocate for a
condition, wore a mask of competence and remember and to write about my pain and number of years and my strongest suit was
engagement, and continued to work long, fear. being able to hear terrible, painful things
stressful hours, closing two deals simultane- I would be long dead but for good timing without dodging them or dissolving myself.
ously on December 31, 2007. Some of us do and my brother’s intervention. When my Julia and I both knew that to be true, so I
not know how to quit. It’s either not in our family came to Virginia for my daughter’s asked if they wanted me to come right away
DNA and/or we drank the Kool-Aid when as high school graduation two weeks after my and she said yes.
children we were taught (or in some cases initial suicidal thoughts, I told him that I was Until then, my entire orientation had
threatened), “Don’t be a quitter!” Fierce very sick and needed help. He concurred, been toward the struggling individual. It
tenacity is a helpful trait in many ways—it because, unnoticed by me, I had very quickly used to incense me when people said that
got us where we are and keeps us at the top dropped a huge amount of weight, a clear taking one’s life meant that someone “lacked
of our game. It is a catastrophe when we sign of major distress absent a physical expla- courage” or “had taken the easy way out” and
would give up our lives rather than admit nation. At my brother’s behest, the rest of my vilified them for “doing such a terrible thing
that we are not perfect and cannot achieve family rallied around and soon I was on my to the people they left behind.” One thing I
maximal results in the face of personal crisis. way to a top-notch mental health facility in know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that
By March of 2008, along with all of my Baltimore. Ten weeks at the Retreat at anyone who has ended up at the door of sui-
other symptoms, my vision was becoming Sheppard Pratt launched my journey of cide is one of the bravest people you will ever
more and more impaired, not from any recovery, which, while often erratic, has know. They have endured things that others
physical phenomenon, but from the fog that arrived at a state of considerable mental cannot begin to imagine. They have suffered
comes with sustained lack of sleep. Truly I health and stability. in ways that are impossible to describe. The
was winding down, slowing down, shutting That was my brush with suicide. I didn’t closest I have ever heard anyone come is “the
down. Some part of me knew that I could have a plan and I never made an attempt. I dark night of the soul,” which derives from a
T H E N O RT H C A RO L I N A S TAT E B A R J O U R N A L 13leaving aside abusive situations and brain and very smoothly came as a shock to me.
chemistry, when someone takes his or her When the lead therapist at Sheppard Pratt
How to be Helpful to Someone who life, it is no one’s fault. That may be hard to told me after my first three weeks that my
is Threatening Suicide accept, but in my experience it is true. There chances for recovery were “fair to good with
is nothing the survivors could have done to ongoing intensive treatment,” I was furious.
• Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of- stop the suicide and there was nothing they Weren’t they the experts? They were sup-
factly about suicide. did that made it happen. Am I saying that posed to make me better and I was supposed
• Be willing to listen. Allow expressions interventions cannot help, so don’t even try? to be able to go back and live my life as if
of feelings. Accept the feelings. Absolutely not, as I discuss at length below. nothing had happened in a suitably short
• Be non-judgmental. Don't debate Over the duration of a person’s illness, help period of time. After all, I had people to see
whether suicide is right or wrong, or is possible and can even turn the tide, as in and things to do. And what did “ongoing
whether feelings are good or bad. my case. But if the final outcome is sadly, intensive treatment” mean anyway? When I
Don't lecture on the value of life. terribly, suicide, the narrative “if only I had heard therapy three to four times a week, I
• Get involved. Become available. texted back right away,” “if only I had stayed laughed at him. Only when I landed back in
Show interest and support. home instead of going to the grocery store” a different hospital a year and a half later after
• Don't dare him or her to do it. may satisfy a need for accountability, but it ignoring his advice did I accept that I had an
• Don't act shocked. This will put dis- is not true. illness like diabetes that I had to learn to
tance between you. manage. And because my illness had been
• Don't be sworn to secrecy. Seek sup- Reflections Based on My Experience very severe, it was going to take a lot of man-
port. Becoming an expert in the mental health agement at the beginning. My illness was
• Offer hope that alternatives are avail- advocacy field based on “lived experience” is never going to go away, but as long as I “took
able but do not offer glib reassurance. an easy thing to do once the “lived” part is no my insulin” consistently by, in my case,
• Get help from persons or agencies longer in question. You don’t need to go back attending multiple therapy sessions per
specializing in crisis intervention and to school, don’t have to memorize anything, week, I could live a full and satisfying life.
suicide prevention you just have to survive your own personal (“Taking the insulin” means something dif-
—via suicidepreventionlifeline.org dark night or nights of the soul and be will- ferent for everybody; there is no one-size-fits-
ing to reflect upon them. I have and I am. all, no one pill or regimen or even type of
therapy.) Once I gave up on the notion of
poem written by a 16th-century Spanish Your Own Recovery snapping back like a yo-yo on a string, it
mystic. My observation at the time was that This is what I know. Recovery from a became apparent that it had been unreason-
we ignore or even denigrate the pain of the place of near suicide is not linear, it is not able for me to think that getting back to
sufferer in favor of the pain of the survivors, quick, it takes willingness to take responsibil- myself would be easy. I didn’t get sick in a
and that did not sit well with me.1 ity for your own journey, it is terrifically week or a month, so why would getting well
It turns out that, as with most things, it is hard, and it is never complete. That is not to be any different? I didn’t catch a head cold,
not “either or,” it is “both and.” Sitting in say that you can’t get to a place of great ful- I’d had double pneumonia that was nearly
Paul’s apartment with Tom and Julia, the fillment and even joy, but it will only be after fatal. It takes time to come back from that
coroner and the mortuary people yet to accepting and overcoming the hurdles bar- kind of assault on your system physically; no
arrive, experiencing a family’s grief that was ring the way. Recovery from mental or emo- less mentally and emotionally.
pain beyond pain, taught me something. tional crisis depicted on a graph would be a When I left Sheppard Pratt after ten
Everybody suffers; it is not a contest. whole lot of jagged lines correlating to ups weeks, that seemed like more than enough
Watching Paul’s friends and expanded family and downs, generally on an upward incline, time to my family. The cost was prohibitive
as they began to gather in the following days, but not always. One therapist I know and, good grief, how long can you stay in a
the inclination to self-blame was pervasive. describes it as a spiral in which one spirals up place like that? Upon reflection, ten weeks is
“Why didn’t I…?” “If only I had….” “It’s my through the layers and down through the nothing. It got me back on my feet, still reel-
fault.” The hurt of the loss was horrific on its layers over the course of time, gradually stay- ing. That’s it, and that was more than I had
own, but amplified by self-blame it ing closer to the top for longer and longer as any reason to expect from the facility. I had
approached unbearable. time goes on. Either way works for me, as been so sick, my anguish had been so over-
Whether we blame the victim or the sur- long as the idea is that all along the way there whelming, how could that possibly be
vivors blame themselves, the one constant is will be periods of shifting moods, instability, addressed and overcome in ten weeks?
the need for accountability. Because if there frustration, and falling back into old mal- So not ten weeks, but how long? For me,
is no accountability, unless one has a spiritu- adaptive patterns, interspersed with times of a good four years at the very least, arguably
al or religious faith of great strength, there is leading a “normal” life, without the extra quite a bit longer. My recovery took seed
no answer to the “why” of it. And for a baggage. Gradually, the periods of “normal- during my subsequent hospital visit in 2010
mother or a spouse or a child or a lover to cy” are longer and those of instability shorter when the director told me that I would never
not know why their loved one left them in and less frequent. work again and that I should apply for Social
this way, that is understandably unaccept- In 2008, the notion that I would not Security Disability. His statement shocked
able. I have no answer for it, except that, resume my former, pre-2007 life very quickly me into taking my recovery, and my destiny,
14 SPRING 2022You can also read
