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City University of New York (CUNY) CUNY Academic Works School of Arts & Sciences Theses Hunter College Spring 5-6-2021 Meditations Adrian D. Mosby CUNY Hunter College How does access to this work benefit you? Let us know! More information about this work at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu/hc_sas_etds/742 Discover additional works at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu This work is made publicly available by the City University of New York (CUNY). Contact: AcademicWorks@cuny.edu
Meditations
by
Adrian Demarco Mosby
Submitted in partial fulfillment
of the requirements for the degree of
Master of Fine Arts Studio Art, Hunter College
The City University of New York
2021
5/5/2021 Juan Sanchez
Date Thesis Sponsor
5/6/2021 Carrie Moyer
Date Second Reader
Meditations
Adrian Demarco Mosby
Narrative touches and penetrates all things within human imagination. If there is a man to
observe it, there is a story to be found within it. We see our lives and the lives of those around us
as stories. Many are tragic, all are full of pain and hardship. The way in which we formulate our
stories can have a profound effect on how we endure or overcome the hardships within our lives.
Just as often, we tell stories to those we love so that they can learn from either our own
experiences or through the stories we ourselves have heard and passed down. These stories take
shape as philosophies, religions, and aphorisms where everyone can feel or intuit the meaning
even if they could not perhaps explain or understand fully the meaning. We all experience the
profound power of a strong narrative, it can move you emotionally, override your instincts and
drive you into action- especially when animated by your own will.
Conventional wisdom holds many metaphorical truths that can aid us in our
understanding of the events surrounding our lives. Lessons passed down through culture and art.
Artists have a duty to culture to apply their knowledge and experience to our collective
understanding for the betterment of the world. The German Expressionist and Post-expressionist
movement for instance, archived the spirit of the collapsed Weimar Republic, post World War I,
as well as the newly formed National Socialist state. Works by Kathe Kalowitz, Otto Dix and
Ernst Ludwig Kirchner show a range of grief, mania, and destruction in their work that comes
from a deeply involved place. Their works are like testimonies that add to historical wisdom and
animate history with the breath of life found only in art. That duty is especially pronounced in
1
times of great conflict and transition. Writers, artists and designers all must play their role in
accurately archiving our present for those who will come after. As a narrative focused painter
myself, I follow a great lineage of storytelling painters. Jacob Lawrence for instance, would in
his paintings, capture a distinctly American experience and a unique perspective on the
American story by focusing the narrative around the black contribution to America’s story.
Carravagio took the stories of the bible and accentuated the drama contained within the biblical
stories by creating, in effect, stage lighting hundreds of years before the lightbulb. Then there is
Goya, whose Disasters of War series capture a clear and literal story, while his black paintings
are ambiguous and allegorical. As for myself, I use the paint to speak on the nature of
humankind and attempt to provide, through the moral of the narratives, a deeply held moral
philosophy.
History is, of course, itself a narrative and a narrative that I believe all artists draw from
and contribute to, knowingly or unknowingly. When I paint, I try my hardest to be solely
immersed in the process of making. Outside of the studio, I try to understand the cultural
direction, our collective psychological state, and to absorb history and wisdom, so that when my
hands go to work in the studio, they might carry some of that knowledge into the work. This
process is something I consider to be very serious. I often sit in my studio and look at the wall of
paintings. Every one of them a meditation. Each own of them, a distinct set of narratives.
2
Palindrome (2020, 48x120)
When I look at Palindrome, I think of the chaos and pandemonium of our volatile time.
The multiple collapsing figures rush forward, violently crashing and in some cases trampling
over one another. In some areas, they fade into a thin choppy wash, while other figures exist as
only outlines or impressions. Their fading suggests the past, and the rubble of stone and limbs on
the ground, suggest that this scene has played out before and will again. Each time, adding to the
pile. Other figures hobble on a single leg, or reach with no arms, all of this to exaggerate their
psychological condition and the helplessness inherent in their broken bodies.
3
Palindrome (2021, 48x120)
I started Palindrome in early March 2020, as social tensions were flaring up. The tensions
were corrosive to the dividing line between the private and the public. A small personal
transgression held within it the same weight as a global offense, to err is to injure and to
misspeak is to bring on violence. Such violence makes preemptive self-defense more and more
seductive. These elements created an air of tension and paranoia in many aspects of life.
Throughout the month I went into the studio to work on Palindrome, I witnessed a sharp rise in
disturbing and surreal acts of bitterness, hostility and insanity. In one instance, riding the subway
home from the studio, I was on a train when a homeless man stepped up on the guard railing in
between the subway cars, pulled open the door and peeked his head in to smile at everyone in the
4
car. Some tried to talk him down and most watched uncertain. After a tense few moments, a very
large man walked up to this homeless person, grabbed him and yanked him from the railing and
threw him to the floor. He then cursed out the homeless man for the display, picked him up from
the ground, and shoved him out of the doors onto the platform just as the train came to a stop at
the station. The entire time the homeless man's life was being aggressively saved, he was
pleading for someone to talk to and how he just needed someone to help him. It was a painful
plea that no one was capable of fulfilling. That mans life, full of whatever circumstances drove
him to feigning suicide- were not going to be resolved by a talk with a passerby. This incident,
among political arguments, unnecessary aggression and acts of random violence, were among the
experiences in my mind everyday that I put my hands to work on Palindrome.
Palindrome (2021, 48x120)
5
The painting started with an oil stick sketch across the diptych panels, you can still see
evidence of the oil stick in figurative suggestions throughout the piece. The figures are then
sculpted into form with wet on wet brush strokes. I love the weight that comes in the thick paint
application in the work of someone like Vincent Van Gough. So when I built up the surface of
the figures, I often spread a thick mix of paint and impasto across the shape. While it’s wet, I’d
mix in asphalt and then push more paint on top of it, using the brush to direct the mixture across
the surface. The eyes I wanted to be piercing and attention grabbing, to do this I used a wood
burner to draw the eyes in and make the iris pop in contrast to the burnt wood. Evard Munch
gave me the inspiration for the background. I always loved the drama of Munch’s very smokey
and atmospheric interiors. I used cloth and brush to sweep thin paint across the background and
left patches of unpainted raw wood. The untouched patches shine through the grey fog like
moments of light penetrating a fog, adding an atmospheric and vague quality to the background
in Palindrome. I place myself as a witness within the painting as a way of trying to place myself
within its world.
When I sit across from the painting now, I think of many moments in history in which we
see a sharp rise in chaos and despair and our relationships with one another become tainted with
suspicion, fear and resentment. Now, a year later, the social unrest has multiplied dramatically
and if i were to do the piece again, I would add myself as a participant- not an observer in the
chaos. I look at the art I create and I try to understand what is at the heart of the nihilistic despair
and resentment I see in the world. What was the fault that brings us to so easily blame rather than
improve? To judge rather than to be an example? As of now my answer is, we do not have a
6
better story. Our grand narratives have been challenged through well formulated and ruthlessly
sharp critique. The grand narratives are outdated and full of blind spots. On top of that, many
traditional narratives come from a position of sanctimonious moral authority, which makes
rebelling against these social norms, all the more seductive. It becomes very easy to see a
sanctimonious, limited, out of touch, series of platitudes and nothing more.
Social responsibility above the level of family, or at most of tribe, requires imagination--
devotion, loyalty, all the higher virtues -- which a man must develop himself; if he has them
forced down him, he will vomit them out.
―Juan Rico in Starship Troopers1
In pre-modern times it was common that a peoples or tribes origin myth would evolve to
incorporate the Gods of a newly interacted with peoples. There would be some form of narrative
evolution that would take place and resolve the dominion of each of the Gods, as well as their
place within the hierarchy. This made cohesive living between people of different faiths far more
likely. The ancient Babaloynian God Mardock, after killing his mother Goddess of chaos Tiamat,
became a synthesis of multiple Gods and the ruler of all things by holding the book of destinies.
The same would occur as Temujin would lead a Mongol army to conquer half of the world. Their
sky god would reign supreme but still incorporate aspects of the mythical narratives of the
people that had been conquered. And, of course, Christianity itself, has absorbed and considered
many different narratives within itself. Scientific thinking has created a reliance on scientific
understanding and literal truth, which has unfortunately led to a neglect of the metaphorical or
narrative truths. Things appear to be far too stratified by scientific thinking to be narratively
1
“Heinlein, Robert A. Starship Troopers. G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1959
7
fused. Take the fine arts for instance, notice the sudden reliance on the categorization of the arts,
figurative art is made separate and unpolluted by the abstract, as performance is divorced from
its history with the stage. When two or more forms of distinction mix, it becomes what is
considered stylistic or transgressive. A counterproductive line of thinking takes place, “All art
has clear categories, yet all art is undefined”, bringing the question- “what is art?” A question so
vapid and empty, that only deconstructionist scientific thinking could have formulated it.
The modern times require a new and incorporative narrative. In my estimation, the heroic
individual who faces death and is reborn after an encounter with darkness, found in figures like
Horus or Christ, are losing their appeal to people. There are very few heroes of immaculate
character, of perfect form and proper discipline. Even at our best, we are wounded, in pain, and
constantly struggling with our natures. In my piece Walk On, I make an effort to envision the
heroic in a way I consider more fitting of what I see in the world today.
8Walk On (2020, 48x36)
A figure walks up a rocky mountain under a night sky. His pants are tattered, his leg
breaking off, his arm long gone. All he has to support his weight is his crutch but his moonlit
eyes gaze only forward as he continues, carrying a monkey's paw on his hip. One leg is painted
in a thin wash with the oil stick sketch lines still visible from where the leg positioning once was.
Wet on wet oil sticks hecticly applied to the surface forms the figures tattered and ragged pants.
The broken leg and broken arm are mixed with asphalt, contrasting to the paint wash of his body.
As his limbs continue to crumble, it is apparent that the crutch that supports him will no longer
be of any help. Yet in that wide-eyed gaze, I see a man who will continue to crawl his way up the
mountain once his legs have finally failed him. The mountain he climbs, is formed of abrupt and
choppy brush strokes with only the thin insistence of a ground, but no indication to the scale of
the mountain in comparison to the figure. As lowly and pitiful a sight as he may be, the spark of
9will within him is grander than the moonlit landscape behind him. Wherever that paw must go, it
will be delivered. Through Walk On, I imagine heroism as struggle. We find ourselves struggling
at times against our natures and at times against the natures of others. It is through conflict that
we find ourselves or find ourselves lacking. As I struggle to improve, to maintain discipline,
Walk On reminds me that it is within these internal struggles that I achieve definition. That
heroism is found within the will and the spirit.
Turning away from that which tempts you or causes you fear is not strength, facing it is.
-Kreia in Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords2
Lotus Eater (2021, 30x24)
The three lotus eater pieces are each a take on the sedation and apathy that erodes at the
spirit and will of man. If the figure in Walk On is the hero enduring suffering, the lotus eaters are
2
Avellone, Chris. Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords. LucasArts, 2004
10the tragedy that show us that apathy is death. The lotus eaters are a direct reference to the Lotus
eaters in the Iliad. Odysseus and his men are forced to stop at an island to repair their ship.
Odysseys discovers the island's inhabitants are peaceful, welcoming and totally consumed by
their need to eat the fruit of the lotus tree. Three of his scouts that had consumed the fruit of the
lotus tree wished to do nothing else but eat the fruit and relax. Odysseus had to drag the men off
the island and tied them below the ships benches to prevent them from jumping overboard and
attempting to swim back to the island. It’s important to note that the men were sailing to war and
ultimately no one survives in the end save Odysseys.
Lotus Eaters (2021, 30x24)
You can conceptualize your own potential as a call to arms. The island of the lotus eaters
offers immediate pleasure and leisure and there is no war on the island. The island is an
embodiment of death anxiety. Ernst Becker believes individuals "tranquilize themselves with the
11trivial"- and so they can lead normal lives, while also suffering from existential guilt from their
unused life. Heidegger points out that by the choices we make or refuse to make we do so to
absolve ourselves of responsibility. The story of the lotus eaters is one deeply connected to
Becker and Heideggers thoughts on personal responsibility. This is why it was so important to
me that the water looked still and beautiful. The setting of the islands have to look as still and
peaceful as the bodies on the island or laid out in the water, to dramatize the failure to act or
answer a calling while embracing sedation and leisure. In order to accentuate this state of beauty,
it was very important to paint the many lotus flowers resting on the still water as well as the
beautiful sense of the island. I believe we all have some sense of what we ‘should’ be doing and
some sense of what is a distraction. In my own life I can confidently say that I have a call to arms
to be an artist and that anything demanded, must be given for that cause. A statement I do not
make lightly, one I wrestle with the significance of to this day.
12Island of the Lotus Eaters (2021, 72x48)
The Figure, the earth and the sky are central elements to most figurative painters but what
I make effort to keep in mind is that these elements are also characters in the narrative world I
am creating. The setting is just as important in my painting as the figures. The sky in my world is
vast, with dramatic sunrises and sweeping storms. Van Gogh, Munch and Turner are all
important references when I consider the sky. Each offers so much to learn from, be it the punchy
vibrancy of a sky in a Van Gogh, the mystery and magical quality to a Munch sky or the power
and scale of a storm in a Turner painting. All three were greatly attentive to the sky, treating it
13not as a backdrop but a character in the scene itself and one that reflected the psychological state
of the world within the painting. The skies in my paintings often have storm clouds on the
approach or take place at a sunrise or a sunset. I build up the movement of the clouds through a
constant give and take of adding and removing, sometimes laying color down with the brush
only to scrub it down with cheesecloth and gamsol. To paint a pink sun rising, but scrape it off
with the palate knife and leave it’s smeared streak across the sky like a beam of color. The sky,
often unlike the figures- is often on the edge of change and transition, the moment before or after
a storm, or the beginning or end of a day.
(Last Leg 2020 48x60)
When I approach the figure in painting, I focus energy on how the paint communicates the state
of the figure. The figures often lack individual features or identities. The figures are instead,
coarse and stone-like and, at the same time, brittle and shattered. They are like hollows. While it
is typically easiest to identify with something distinctly human and facially expressive, I find my
14figures are still sympathetic. I believe this is because of the paint communicating the figures’
state. The thickness of the impasto mixed in the paint weighs the figure down, the asphalt makes
them coarse and rough. In areas, I scrape the paint off of the figures much like Leon Golub. The
scraping gives a sharp and harsh feeling to the surface. I also burn parts of the wood using a
wood burner: depending on where the burning is applied, it can greatly exaggerate the sense of
the figure falling apart. The sharp edges of the wood and dark surface feel like the hollow
interior of, say, the tip of a finger that has broken from the rest of the joint. The paint handling
and treatment of these battered and worn figures expresses their fallen state.
Night Walk (2021, 48x72)
When this combines with an environment that is beautiful and expansive, there is a grandiose
effect that occurs. We experience this figues’ suffering and it is paired with beauty and nature,
such as in Lotus Eater, where a single figure lays peacefully in a bed of water, with lotus flowers
and lily pads all around it. It is both devastating and beautiful. This is something that speaks to
15our nature as human beings, we are surrounded by beauty and expansive grandness that is
beyond expression or compressension. At the same time, we contain an endless well of hurt,
love, fear and pain within so small a vessel, within so grand of a space.
With every piece I am investigating and interrogating my thoughts, slowly formulating
my philosophy and expressing it in narrative, with the overall aim being to contribute that
narrative to the greater culture, and through the betterment of culture create new and moralizing
grand narratives. Culture is an intersection of arts, institutions, customs and people. In a lecture
organized by the Boston Fellows, Iconographer and orthodox Christian, Jonathan Pageau made a
point that truly stuck with me. Pageau said the very notion of consumer culture, of culture being
consumed, is nonsensical. Culture can’t be consumed, culture is something that is participative,
such as a festival, carnival, theater. The greater the level of participation the greater or higher the
art. As Pageau points out, that makes architecture the highest form of participative art because
we always inhabit and interact with the space of the interior. We interact with culture adding to it
through our actions, customs and creations, as it interacts with us, framing our perspectives and
views through festivals, architecture, literature and art. Long before I ever made a conscious
decision to become an artist and storyteller, I was deeply influenced by the cultural phenomenon
of comic books, science fiction and fantasy. It was the weekly sagas of Samurai Jack, Mobile
Suit Gundam Wing and Batman the Animated Series that fueled my imagination and love for a
good story. In the 8th grade, I began a daily stick figure comic book based on my friends and
myself. The comic book brought us as characters into a world where our daily hardships, break
ups and dramas were transformed into fantasy. The comic book gained a lot of attention, as
people outside my friend group wanted to see the newest episode. I met my best friend of 15
16years because he wished to become a character, a part of this narrative. Even the teachers became
invested in what would happen in the story, but the moment I’ll never forget, was a time when
my friend told me that he only showed up to school because he wanted to see the next episode. I
was familiar with that need, that drive to see what happens next, but always as an observer,
always watching as the cliffhanger ending concluded. Hearing those words changed my life, I
saw that stories have a power that was outside of my understanding and I went to the School of
Visual Arts for cartooning and illustration to try and find out what that power was and how it
might be used. The elements of sci-fi/fantasy are a deep part of why I became a storyteller in the
first place and play a very direct role in the allegorical nature of the paintings I make. The skies
are grand and fantastical, the struggles are heroic and the continuity is that of an epic.
As a painter, I am a storyteller. I tell stories of triumphant endurance, such as Walk On. I
tell stories of love as a divine second wind that keeps us going throughout a hard journey, as in
Last Leg. I tell stories of devastated, isolated and broken figures that have ceased their
struggle--accepted their nature as fragments and lie still, dissolving into the earth with so many
others, piling into mounds. I hope to add these stories to our culture, showing the depth of the
human will and that we, in our continuing uphill struggle, can always become something better
than what we are.
17Carry that Weight (2020 24x18)
18Bibliography
Aurelius, Marcus, and Farquharson A S L. Marcus Aurelius Meditations. Dent, 1961.
Avellone, Chris. Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords. LucasArts, 2004
Heinlein, Robert A. Starship Troopers. G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1959
Ikeda, Masashi. Mobile Suit Gundam Wing. Sunrise. 1996
Pageau, Johnathan. “How Art Can Help Save the World | Boston Talk pt.3” Youtube, commentary
by Pageau, Jonathan, provided by the Boston Fellows Mar 10, 2020
Peterson, Jordan B, Norman Doidge, and Sciver E. Van. 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos.
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Peterson, Jordan B. Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life. Penguin Random House Canada,
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