Croxley Chronicles no. 5 October 2020 - U3A Site Builder
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Croxley Chronicles no. 5 October 2020 _______________________________________________________________________________________________ Hello all, My apologies, dear Croxley Green U3A members – I have neglected you and have been rather side-tracked in recent weeks. Here at last is an update on events. Committee Meeting: We held our first committee meeting since the ‘new’ (but, actually, pretty much the same) committee was elected. This was, of course, online via Zoom which as we’ve all found, has its limitations, but we nonetheless enjoyed a very busy and very harmonious two hours discussing U3A matters. A couple of points of immediate interest to you: 1. Predictably, we discussed the future, a challenging task at present! Along with all U3As, we are particularly anxious about maintaining contact with members and retaining interest in activities. Your views here are of prime interest, so in the next few weeks, you can expect a phone call from one of your committee members (we are each calling about 30 members) so do please pick up the phone if it’s an unfamiliar number, it may be one of us! We’ll be interested in any suggestions you may have, any ways in which we might help e.g. with internet access for U3A, online payments for membership renewal (held at £17) at the end of this year, etc. 2. We wanted to check that members are aware of material available on the National U3A website: for instance, are you signed up for the national U3A Newsletter? Just go to u3a.org.uk and scroll down to sign up, and the newsletter will be sent to you via email (our Croxley ones are available on the website, of course). Do sign up for them, there’s plenty of interesting reading material. There are also loads of other materials and activities on the national website available to members, including tutorials on using Zoom. 3. We discussed the feasibility of groups meeting in members’ homes as there had been one or two queries. Through the summer several groups managed to meet outside, all suitably distanced of course and restricted to whatever number was allowed at the time. With colder weather approaching that outside option isn’t as attractive; we agreed that if individual groups wish to meet in members’ homes as a U3A group (rather than, perhaps, simply as a group of friends) the hosts of such a meeting should be aware of and abide by whatever government guidelines are currently in place; they should also check that they are aware of U3A guidelines available on the U3A website (they are, for obvious reasons, subject to change). Individual members attending any such meeting should carry out their own ‘personal’, informal risk assessment to check that they are comfortable with arrangements. Of course, your committee is always here to give support and advice, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. 4. Monthly meetings will, of course, continue to be ‘virtual’ and take place online. Monthly Meetings: Our third monthly meeting online in September was, again, really well attended and was certainly the treat we had imagined. Helen Fry, who has given us a talk before, delivered a fascinating lecture on ‘The London Cage’, an interrogation centre used by British Intelligence during the
Second World War behind locked doors in Kensington Palace Gardens. The subject matter in itself
was very interesting, of course, but it was made particularly gripping by Helen’s obvious
fascination and enthusiasm for her topic and we thank her for a thoroughly enjoyable hour; also
thanks to Daphne Stratton for setting up and ‘hosting’ the meeting.
Our next monthly meeting is next week on Wednesday 21st October at 2pm: ‘From Bangladesh to
Banksy’ by Pepe Martinez. Pepe is a Blue Badge London Guide and this presentation comes highly
recommended from other U3A groups. We will be going on a virtual tour of the East End of London
from the Second World War to present day. Unlike when actually walking, one is able to see
everything close up and hear every word! There will be plenty of time for questions afterwards. As
before, you’ll be sent a Zoom link – we’re all becoming more familiar and confident with this ‘new’
normal, so do please encourage people to join us if they are still a bit hesitant.
Derek Jarman’s Garden
Below please find the link to the recording of this presentation relayed recently via the national
website. The speaker has agreed that it can be made available to all members. Please note it is
only available until 26th October: Simply click on this link and enjoy - https://youtu.be/gNXBCWgssYM
.simply copy and paste into
Happy App News
Daphne Stratton has alerted us to a lovely App called ‘In your area’. If you download it, scroll
down, insert your postcode in the relevant box and you will find some wonderful pictures of Old
Croxley in particular Dickinsons Mill and Scammels. Worth a look, thank you Daphne.
HertsNetwork
At the end of this chronicle, you can find the latest offering from HertsNetwork ‘Keep Smiling’
together with John Murphy’s latest quiz.
Hoping this finds you all well, keep safe and best wishes,
Irene Dubuis
POETRY GROUP
I thought you might like 2 poems reflecting September. the first is the much loved and well known
'After Apple Picking' by Robert Frost, the second 'On an apple ripe September' is by an Irish poet,
Patrick Kavanagh, who was well known in Ireland and influenced poets such as Seamus Heaney
and Ted Hughes but less well known in England.
‘After Apple Picking’ is a nature lyric depicting the experience of an apple-picker who is tired after
the day’s work and falls asleep and dreams about his task. It may be regarded as a vivid
description based on his own observations or taken at a deeper meaning as it is infused
with something uncanny and contains a fine blend of illusion and reality. He shows an equal skill
in describing reality or dreams.
In contrast Kavanagh's poem is a delightful, direct reflective account of his walk to the threshing
mill on a September morning reflecting his rural life in County Monaghan in the early 20th century.
A poet who deserves to be explored.
After Apple Picking My instep arch not only keeps the ache,
It keeps the pressure of a ladder-round.
My long two-pointed ladder's sticking through I feel the ladder sway as the boughs bend.
a tree And I keep hearing from the cellar bin
Toward heaven still, The rumbling sound
And there's a barrel that I didn't fill Of load on load of apples coming in.
Beside it, and there may be two or three For I have had too much
Apples I didn't pick upon some bough. Of apple-picking: I am overtired
But I am done with apple-picking now. Of the great harvest I myself desired.
Essence of winter sleep is on the night, There were ten thousand thousand fruit to
The scent of apples: I am drowsing off. touch,
I cannot rub the strangeness from my sight Cherish in hand, lift down, and not let fall.
I got from looking through a pane of glass For all
I skimmed this morning from the drinking That struck the earth,
trough No matter if not bruised or spiked with stubble,
And held against the world of hoary grass. Went surely to the cider-apple heap
It melted, and I let it fall and break. As of no worth.
But I was well One can see what will trouble
Upon my way to sleep before it fell, This sleep of mine, whatever sleep it is.
And I could tell Were he not gone,
What form my dreaming was about to take. The woodchuck could say whether it's like his
Magnified apples appear and disappear, Long sleep, as I describe its coming on,
Stem end and blossom end, Or just some human sleep.
And every fleck of russet showing clear.
Robert Frost
‘On an apple-ripe September’ And I thought of the wasps' nest in the bank
And how I got chased one day
On an apple-ripe September morning Leaving the drag and the scraw-knife behind,
Through the mist-chill fields I went How I covered my face with hay.
With a pitch-fork on my shoulder
Less for use than for devilment. The wet leaves of the cocksfoot
Polished my boots as I
The threshing mill was set-up, I knew, Went round by the glistening bog-holes
In Cassidy's haggard last night, Lost in unthinking joy.
And we owed them a day at the threshing
Since last year. O it was delight I'll be carrying bags to-day, I mused,
The best job at the mill
To be paying bills of laughter With plenty of time to talk of our loves
And chaffy gossip in kind As we wait for the bags to fill.
With work thrown in to ballast
The fantasy-soaring mind. Maybe Mary might call round...
And then I came to the haggard gate,
As I crossed the wooden bridge I wondered And I knew as I entered that I had come
As I looked into the drain Through fields that were part of no earthly
If ever a summer morning should find me estate
Shovelling up eels again.
Patrick Kavanagh
Croxley Chronicle Quiz Answers to last issue (Thanks to John Murphy of Herts Network U3A) General Knowledge 1 In which country were castanets developed? Spain 2 in which town is the HQ of the Open University? Milton Keynes 3 For what does IoM stand? Isle of Man 4 For what does IoW stand? Isle of Wight 5 Which Devonshire town has an exclamation mark after its two-word name? Westward Ho! 6 Which British legal job is shortened to DPP? Director of Public Prosecutions 7 Where in London would you find the Whispering Gallery? St Pauls 8 What colour sari is traditionally worn by the bride at an Indian wedding? Red 9 What is the two-word name of London’s Central Criminal Court? Old Bailey 10 In which book do we meet Boo Radley? To Kill a Mockingbird Geography 1 Which English city shares its name with the capital of Nebraska? Lincoln 2 Which country has been called Kampuchea? Cambodia 3 Where in Britain does the Up Helly Ya celebration take place? The Shetlands 4 Which country borders Denmark to the south? Germany 5 In which American State would you find Disney World? Florida 6 New Street Station can be found in which English city? Birmingham 7 Where is the Wailing Wall? Jerusalem History 1 When leaving the Army you are demobbed. For what is demobbed short? Demobilised 2 In what year did the Six Day War happen? 1967 3 What nationality was Karl Marx? German 4 Who became the first Labour Prime Minister, in 1924? Ramsay Macdonald 5 Which two countries were joined together by the Act of Union of 1707? England and Scotland 6 Which monarch said: Let not poor Nellie starve? Charles II 7 And about whom did he say that? Nell Gwyn 8 Lady Jane Grey was the great-granddaughter of which English king? Henry VII 9 In which London area did Jack the Ripper operate? Whitechapel Science and nature 1 How many hearts does an octopus have? Three 2 For what do the letters LED stand? Light Emitting Diode 3 The word pachyderm, as in elephants, translates into English as what? Thick-skinned 4 After which Roman god is the apparent bow just above the upper lip called? Cupid 5 Name the two planets that usually orbit between The Sun and Earth. Mercury and Venus TV and film 1 Who played Bootsie in the sixties TV series The Army Game? Alfie Bass 2 Which fictional creation is blue, with a No 1 in yellow on his sides? Thomas the Tank Engine 3 What was the name of Basil's wife in Fawlty Towers? Sybil 4 What are the first names of The Blues Brothers? Jake and Elwood 5 Which boy owned the toys in the original Toy Story film? Andy 6 Who played The Doctor when Dr Who first aired in 1963? William Hartnell 7 Who invented the phonograph? Thomas Edison 8 Who directed the film 2001: A Space Odyssey? Stanley Kubrick 9 In which Shepherds Bush road did Steptoe and Son live? Oil Drum Lane 10 The Remorseful Day was the final episode of which TV programme? Morse 11 Whose TV characters included Stavros and Loadsamoney? Harry Enfield
And onto the next Quiz! (Thanks to John Murphy of Herts Network U3A – this is the 30th quiz he has set) London 1 The Monument commemorates which event? 2 Which country donates the Trafalgar Square Christmas tree in thanks for British efforts in WWII? 3 Name the Kray twins and their brother. 4 What nickname is given to the Central Criminal Court? 5 If Big Ben is the bell, what’s the name of the tower? 6 What is the postcode for Buckingham Palace? 7 What London hospital owns the copyright to Peter Pan? 8 What was the Roman name for London? 9 Who said ‘When a man is tired of London he is tired of life’? 10 Who is the current Mayor of London? 11 What is the red line on a London Tube map? History 1 Name the Scottish outlaw fictionalised as a hero by Sir Walter Scott (3,3)? 2 What do we call the period of English history when George III was mentally unfit to govern, and his son ruled instead? 3 What age was also known as the New Stone Age? 4 Quintin Hogg renounced the peerage in 1963 and became Viscount who? 5 Which medieval queen was married to Louis VII of France and Henry II of England? 6 Whose body was exhumed from Westminster Abbey two years after his death to be ‘executed’ for treason? 7 By what nickname is pirate Edward Teach better known? 8 Who was the wife of the future Henry VIII’s older brother, Arthur? 9 What was Eleanor Roosevelt’s maiden name? 10 Who was the last tsar of Russia? 11 Towton, the largest and bloodiest battle in English history, happened in which conflict? Geography 1 What country has the longest coastline? 2 Of which country is Beirut the capital? 3 What country is the latest to be recognised by the UN? 4 In which county would you find Stonehenge? 5 What is the oldest recorded town in the UK? 6 How many US states begin with the letter A? 7 What was Sri Lanka called before 1972? 8 What is the capital of Chile? 9 Mount Vesuvius casts a shadow over which modern Italian city? 10 What is the capital of New Zealand? 11 Dublin stands on which river? General Knowledge 1 Who wrote about Narnia? 2 Which American entertainer wrote a 1988 autobiography called Moonwalk? 3 Which world leader put his thoughts in writing in The Little Red Book? 4 In which city would you find The Hermitage museum? 5 What is the most populous city in the Southern Hemisphere? 6 Which American President was named Time Man of the Year twice in The Eighties (once jointly)? 7 Aspirin can be created from the bark of which common tree? 8 Which of England’s World Cup winners of 1966 also played one first-class cricket match for Essex? 9 Honshu is the biggest island of which country? 10 The summit of Mount Everest takes in which two countries? 11 The capital of which two South American countries are on the River Plate
KEEP SMILING No. 2
Ron, an elderly man from Australia, had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond out
the back that was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe
courts and some orange and lime trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond,
as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-litre bucket to bring back some
fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he
saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his
presence, and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him: “We’re not coming out
until you leave!” Ron frowned: “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond
naked.” Holding the bucket up Ron said: “I’m here to feed the crocs!
A driver is pulled over by a policeman who approaches the driver’s door. “Is there a
problem officer?” The policeman says: “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence
please?” The driver responds: “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.” “You don’t have one?”
The man responds: “I lost it four times for drink driving. ”The policeman is shocked. “I see.
Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?”“ I’m sorry, I can’t do that.” I stole this
car and I took care of the owner. ”At this point the officer is getting irate. “You what!?”
“She’s in the boot if you want to see.” The officer looks at the man and slowly backs away
to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the
car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, says: “Sir, could you step out of your
vehicle please!” The man steps out of his vehicle. “Is there a problem sir?”“ One of my
officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.” “Murdered the owner?” The officer responds: “Yes,
could you please open the boot of your car please?” The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot. The
officer says: “Is this your car sir?” The man says: “Yes,” and hands over the registration papers. The officer, understandably,
is quite stunned. “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence. ”The man digs in his pocket revealing a
wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. “Thank you
sir, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner.” The man replies: “I bet you
the lying bastard told you I was speeding too
Prison walls are never built to scale
Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough
I don’t know how I got over the hill as I never reached the top.
You start a sentence but forget what you .................
The little old lady that helped you across the road is your wife.
Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
Have you grown up and spread cheer or grown up and spread
Age makes furniture more valuable and people worth less!
My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
When I'm holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
It is not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .
Have I sent this message to you before...or did I get it from you!
Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day
WORDS OF WISDOM
Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.
People are like teabags. Only judge-able when they get into hot water
If someone says: no offense, they about to say something offensive.
What's the difference between unique and very unique?
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
Too many cooks need a bigger kitchen
The meek shall inherit the earth, but only after we're finished.
Failure won’t overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong
We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated
He who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others.
It is easier to be wise for others than for ourselves.
Focus on making yourself better, not on thinking that you are better.
The one thing that money cannot buy is poverty.
When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps.
ANAGRAM
The USA president Donald Trump has been hit by Covid =
The matter’s sad. I propound bleach in the veins, buddy
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and
health. It's a relief to know the truth. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Brits. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Brits. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Brits. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Brits. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Being British is apparently what kills you!!
Mahatma Gandhi was a peculiar person. He walked barefoot everywhere and his feet became quite thick and
hard. He went on hunger strikes and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he didn’t eat much and became
quite frail. He was also a very spiritual person. When he did eat, his diet was peculiar and he developed very
bad breath. He therefore became known as
‘a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis’!!!!
"I haven't got a computer, but I was told about Facebook and Twitter and I am trying to make friends
outside Facebook and Twitter while applying the same principles. Every day I walk down the street
and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will
do for the rest of the day. I give them pictures of my wife, my daughter, my dog and my garden and
on holiday, spending time by the pool....And it works! I already have four people following me; two
police officers, a social worker and a psychiatrist!"
Doctors say that Walking strengthens your heart, lowers disease risk, helps you
lose weight, prevents dementia, boosts vitamin D and gives you energy. Most
seniors never get enough exercise. In his wisdom God decreed that seniors
become forgetful, so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other
things, thus doing more walking. I like long walks, especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you
expire they'll say “well they look good don’t they?' I try to have a long walk early in
the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing. I joined a health club last
year and spent around £350 but I haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go
there! Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with lots and lots of chocolate. We get heavier as we get
older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
At our age some of our body parts have either been taken out or are worn out! We may scour
the paper to see if anyone we know has died, or read about the huge range of ‘celebrities’
that have passed away in the last year, many of whom are younger than us! We will wait all
evening for a special TV programme to come on, only to nod off and wake up when the
credits are rolling. When driving, everyone else is a maniac or ‘boy racer.’
We grumble about today’s dreadful modern ‘music’ which we always compare unfavourably
to the ‘magic’ of the 60’s music and still remember all the words of most of the songs. We can guarantee that every time we
go out, we will meet someone who will mention the weather and the ‘good old days.’ It’s great to not worry about work or
commuting, but benefitting from free prescriptions, travel subsidies, ‘concessionary’ outings and a State Pension. Also, for
having the time to participate in numerous activities. As Harold Macmillan once said ‘Most people have never had it so good’
Let’s embrace it
DINGBATS SET A DINGBATS SET B
DINGBAT ANSWERS
SET A SET B
1. Right between the eyes 1 Excuse my French
2. Pat on the back 2 Two’s Company, three’s a crowd
3. Incoming message 3. The fifth element
4. Mail on Sunday 4. Born on the 4th of July
5. Ice Cube 5. Dead ringer for love
6. Little by little 6. Dolly mixture
7. High School 7. Easy on the eye
8. Fiddler on the roof 8. Much ado about nothing
9. Eternal triangle 9. Doctor in the house
10. Blank Cheque 10. Bob’s your uncle
11. Rub up the wrong way 11Divide and Conquer
12. Big show off 12. No ideaYou can also read
