FROM "PUNCH" Tuesday Novbember 28th. 1944 - Stowcaple Churches
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FROM “PUNCH” Tuesday Novbember 28th. 1944
Members of the House of Commons—and knowing but fair to record that Mr. SHINWELL led the
people in the Galleries—amuse themselves by laughter at his own discomfiture.
deducing the state of the war news from the facial Your scribe offers for the information of history
expressions and general demeanour of the Prime these two Parliamentary utterances:
Minister. He is a most reliable barometer. And if he "There is a difference between planning and
is as reliable as usual (and your scribe knows of no execution."—The Prime Minister.
information to the contrary) the war must be going "All due -weight will be given to every relevant
uncommonly well. consideration."—Sir John Anderson, Chancellor of
the Exchequer.
For Mr. CHURCHILL fairly swept into the And, in the Upper House, a Royal Commission
Commons, like a fleet of bombers in full sail for read the King's Speech proroguing Parliament—
Hamm. Other Ministers just got out of the way and until Wednesday, November 29th.—
gave him a clear passage—for which they were
rewarded by a massive smile. Mr. SHINWELL, on To the general delight, the KING and QUEEN
the contrary, seemed to be in belligerent mood, and attended in person to open Parliament.
would keep dragging Lord WOOLTON,the Minister Out in the Royal Gallery the Parliamentary Home
of Reconstruction, into the House—or, rather, Guard performed its last official duty by providing
complaining that he could not do Their Majesties with an extremely smart
so, the Minister being a Peer of Guard of Honour. It was a "spit-and-
the Realm. After any and every polish" parade none would have
question Mr. SHINWELL bobbed avoided, and Major EDWARD
up with some such addition as: FFLLOWES, their commander, who now
"Can't we have the Minister of exchanges the part-time sword for the
Reconstruction in this House ? " full-time pen which is his wand of office
as a high officer of the House of
Mr. CHURCHILL stood it manfully Commons, was warmly congratulated by
for a time, then put on that His Majesty on the bearing of his men.
expression which the wary have
learned to avoid. And when Mr. The KING read the Speech from the
S. sarcastically asked that a Throne in a firm voice—a voice that had
special Minister be appointed to in it pride in the past achievements of all
sort out difficulties about other subjects, confidence in their future
Ministers' positions in the achievements—and went.
Government, Mr. CHURCHILL
stepped daintily to the table and And then the two Houses were left to
in his best honeyed tones replied their own deliberations.Major PHILIP
: SIDNEY, who won the V.C. at Anzio and
"That is rather a silly question. It is very much below golden opinions from his constituents at Chelsea,
the Parliamentary level the honourable gentleman is was given the task of moving the Loyal Address of
always (artistic pause) endeavouring to attain ! " It’s thanks to the KING.
SAME PLACE, ALMOST FORGOTTEN FACES. BUT THE END OF YET ANOTHER DEADLY CRISIS COULD BE SIGHTED IN 1944.
After the Labour Party was elected in 1945, Emmanuel Shinwell became Minister of Fuel and Power and he was responsible for nationalizing the mines.
Perhaps Lord Woolton is best remembered when, as Minister of Food, he promoted “The Woolton Pie”!
CLUES ACROSS
1 Chindit Country?(6)
5. Three legs, but no tail! (4)
8. Employed by car man.(4)
9. Exaggerated account. (8)
10 Insect must fly home! (8)
11. Ancient American civilization.(4)
12. Orchestral section.(6)
14. A young fly in distress? (6)
16. Nile wading bird. (4)
18. A seat close to the action. (8)
20. Causes iron to rust. (8)
21. Infrequent example. (4)
22. Up in, when angry?(4)
23. The latest! (6)
CLUES DOWN
2. Arrogant newcomer.(7)
3. Your unsteady Aunt! (5)
4. For a pyjama party? (7,5)
5. Lowest possible wage.(7)
6. Experiencing poverty. (5)
7. Evergreen shrub. (12)
13. Cook takes from a chicken?(7)
15. What she puts up with!(7)
17. Sportsman in gloves. (5)
19. Twist it to use it. (5)
CARROTS ALGERIAN STYLE
F IN
I kg/2 lb carrots, cut into 1 cm/half-inch slices
5 tablespoons olive oil.
DA
teaspoon cumin seeds
CA
3 garlic cloves,finely chopped
half- teaspoon dried thyme I bay leaf
P
TIO
Salt and pepper
1 teaspoon lemon juice
NPU
Cook the carrots in boiling water for 15 min-
ZZ
utes. Drain, reserving 150 ml/quarter pint of
LE
the cooking liquor.
Put the oil in another saucepan with the cumin,
garlic, thyme, bay leaf, salt and pepper. Cook
gently for 10 minutes, then stir in the reserved
cooking liquor. Cover and simmer for a further
15 to 20 minutes.
Add the carrots and stir into the sauce. Heat
through for 2 to 3 minutes, then sprinkle over
the lemon juice. Remove the bay leaf and
serve.
URIAH HEEP PLAYS PUT AND TAKE.
Another of Ted’s Tales.
About this time, sometime around 1912, a series of cigarette cards was issued
by Players Cigarette Company entitled "Characters from Dickens'. Uncle
Humphrey made a collection of these as he was fascinated by the Dickens
characters and was also intrigued by their names. He chortled when a card
about Uriah Heep turned up and for some reason known only to himself started
calling me Uriah Heep. I didn't think this much of a compliment as this chap
was a queer sort of character. It would be Uriah Heep, come here! Or Uriah
Heep, do that! Or where is Uriah Heep? until I was heartily fed up with my new
name. Granny told Uncle Humphrey that if he didn't stop calling me Uriah Heep
she wouldn't get him any more meals. ,
Uncle Humphrey invented a new game involving cigarette cards. At least it was
a new game to me! He had a little gadget like a brass spinning top which spun
when twisted between finger and thumb. I think it had six flat sides and when it
had been spun came to rest with one of the flat sides uppermost. The flat sides
were inscribed consecutively PUT 1, TAKE 1, PUT 2, TAKE 2, PUT 3, TAKE 3.
The players each started with the same number of cigarette cards and spun the little top in turn, putting or
taking cards as indicated when the top came to rest. This little brass top was appropriately called "PUT AND
TAKE' and was frowned upon by Granny. She said it was a gambling machine, however as we only used it
for gambling with cigarette cards I don't think Uncle Humphrey was leading Uriah Heep astray.
Scheduled for July 30th–August 6th. 2022
The National Eisteddford is the great national gathering of Welsh bards and musicians in a
competitive song and musical festival, keenly cultivated in medieval Wales, was revived at the end
of the eighteenth century. By 186o it had become the big annual event of the Principality.
It is impossible to state with assurance how old the Eisteddfod is. The national festival was recognised
by Richard III, and Henry VI granted certain rights to the Druids. The first Eisteddfod on record was
held on the banks of the Conway early in the sixth century.The basic idea underlying the revival of
the Eisteddfod is the presentation and fostering of Welsh poetry, music, arts and crafts.
To constitute a National Eisteddfod it must be proclaimed by the Arch Druid
from the famous Logan Stone a year and a day before it is due to take
place. The Arch Druid wears an oakleaf coronet and a copper breastplate.
The word Eisteddfod is a colourful contraction of the ancient title: `The
Session of the Bards of the Isle of Britain'.
The festival, conducted throughout in Welsh, is in charge of the Arch Druid
who stands on the Arch Druid's stone and makes the initial speech
inaugurating the year's meeting. At the end of his speech the famous Sword
of Peace is placed before him.
The Arch Druid upraises, partly unsheathes the sword and exclaims: `A aes Heddwch'? (Is it peace?) To
which he receives the thunderous reply: `Heddwch' ! This is repeated three times, thus ensuring full concord
during the festival.
The paramount event is the Chair Day—the chairing and crowning of the composer of the winning poem. In
1953, for the first time in the history of the Eisteddfod, a woman schoolteacher was judged the winner of the
Bardic Crown, the highest possible attainment of a Welsh Bard.
From an article written by: Graham McCann
May 2021
Which bona fide comedy double act has had the biggest and broadest
influence on British popular culture? The most instinctive answer, for
many, will be Morecambe & Wise, simply because of their huge, broad
and enduring appeal. Others might nominate Peter Cook and Dudley
Moore, for their unparalleled comic invention; or The Two Ronnies, for
their mainstream versatility; or French & Saunders, for their inspirational
feminism; or Reeves & Mortimer, for their liberating anarchism. None of
these guesses, however, is correct. The most influential British double act
is, in fact, Flanders & Swann.
Michael Flanders and Donald Swann have had a profound and lasting
impact not only on British comedy and music, but also on just about every
other major point and place in the panorama of British entertainment over
the last sixty years. From Beyond The Fringe to Monty Python; from Oh!
What A Lovely War to Spamalot; from the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band to
The Duckworth Lewis Method; from Spike
Milligan's Milliganimals to Ricky Gervais's Flanimals; from That Was The Week That Was to Mock The Week; from The
Beatles, The Kinks and The Who to Ian Dury, Madness and Squeeze; from Joyce Grenfell and Victoria Wood to Tim
Minchin and Melinda Hughes - there are significant
THE GAS MAN SONG cultural strands stretching back specifically to the
T'was on the Monday morning, the gas man came to call, two-man team of Flanders and Swann. The sad thing
The gas tap wouldn't turn, I wasn't getting gas at all; is: it's sort of a secret. Flanders and Swann just don't
He tore out all the skirting boards to try and find the main, get mentioned much these days. They don't get
And I had to call a carpenter to put them back again!
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...
heard much these days. They don't get shown much
these days. If someone under the age of about forty
T'was on the Tuesday morning, the carpenter came round: has any awareness of them at all these days, they
He hammered and he chiseled and he said "Look what I've found! probably know of them, indirectly, from the far more
Your joists are full of dry rot, but I'll put them all to rights!" recent Armstrong and Miller parodies, which saw
Then he nailed right through a cable and out went all the lights!
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...
two rather posh comedians play two rather posh co-
medians ('Brabbins and Fyffe'), singing right-wing-
T'was on a Wednesday morning, the electrician came: sounding songs whilst being laughed at by rather
He called me 'Mr. Sanderson', which isn't quite the name; posh-sounding studio audiences.
He couldn't reach the fuse box without standing on the bin, This is more than a little misleading. Yes, Flanders
And his foot went through a window, so I called the glazier in!
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...
and Swann, like Armstrong and Miller, were rather
posh, but they were left-wing rather than right, and
T'was on the Thursday morning, the glazier came along they were laughed at by all kinds of audiences right
With his blowtorch, and his putty, and his merry glazier's song; across the social class scale.
He put another pane in, it took no time at all
But I had to get a painter in to come and paint the wall!
Even more misleading is that Armstrong and Miller's
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...
parody suggests that, if such a double act had actu-
T'was on a Friday morning the painter made a start, ally existed, it must have been as 'cancellable' as this
With undercoats and overcoats he painted every part, pair. The reality, however, is that neither Armstrong
Every nook and every cranny; but I found when he was gone and Miller, nor just about anyone else involved in
He'd painted over the gas tap and I couldn't turn it on!
relatively intelligent comedy during the past sixty or
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do...
On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all; so years, would have thrived anywhere near as well
So it was on the Monday morning that the gas man came to call! nor as widely without the achievements and lingering
influence of Flanders and Swann.
Have you got a smoke-alarm I can turn off when I’m cooking?
“British rule in India, which lasted for a momentous 163 years, came to an end on the stroke of
midnight last night and two new dominions, Pakistan and India, were born out of Britain's Indian
Empire.
A conch shell was blown in the Constituent Assembly in New Delhi amid cheers from the mem-
bers;-as the hands of the clock ticked away the seconds to the independence for which the Indians have
striven for so long.
Then every member of the Assembly took a pledge, promising that: "At this solemn moment, when the
people of India, through suffering and sacrifice, have secured freedom, I, as a member of the
Constituent Assembly of India, dedicate myself in all humility to the service of India and her people to
the end that this ancient land attain her rightful place in the World"
Lord Mountbatten, who relinquished the panoply of empire as Britain's last Viceroy, and immediately
became governor-general of the new Dominion of India, has been rewarded by a grateful Government
in London with an Earldom for his part in expertly managing Britain’s retreat.
One of his last acts as Viceroy was to deliver a moving message of congratulation from King George
VI to the people of Pakistan saying: "I send you my greeting and warmest wishes on this great occas-
ion when the new Dominion of Pakistan is about to take its place in the British Commonwealth of
Nations. In thus achieving your independence by agreement you have set an example to the freedom-
loving peoples throughout the world."
The celebrations were marred by violence. Even independence cannot end racial hatred.”
Scott Leathart, in his book “With the Gurkhas”, describes life as he saw it in late October 1947. As
a young Officer,he is now in India, having been moved on from war conditions in Malaysia, as
outlined last issue. We are forced to accept the implied condemnation of a British Government
desperate to be rid of India, whatever the cost to the inhabitants. He writes home;
The whole of India is in absolute chaos from an administrative point of view and they are now trying to fight a war
in Kashmir. I am glad to see that H.M.Government has decreed that no British officer will be allowed to go there.
None of us British officers can leave this Batallion. because they haven't produced any Indian officers to take our
place. We should have gone to our British Gurkha Batallions. yesterday; I must say I shall be glad when we get
there.
We have moved to a place called Gurgoan, which is about 200 miles with as much of their possessions as they can
20 miles south of Delhi, and tomorrow we start escorting carry. It is our thankless task to escort them on their way.
a foot convoy of 40,000 Muslim refugees part of the way I very much doubt whether half of them will survive the
to Pakistan. During the last day or two we have been journey.'
besieged by wretched Muslims who, seeing a white face
for a change, think that salvation has returned and ask to IN THE BOOK, SCOTT COMMENTS;
be allowed to stay here. One old man came to me (he Little did I realize when I wrote this letter that the people
had served the British since 1914 in two wars) and asked at home did not care two hoots about what was happening
me why, having served us for so long, he was being in India. They had been conditioned to think that the
turned out of his ancestral home. It is impossible to make British in India had been repressors and that all that was
them understand that we British no longer have any say required for the Indians' future happiness was the removal
in matters Indian. of the British from government. In fact, the departure of
the British administration heralded a degree of massacre
Consequently, one feels thoroughly ashamed that we and misery never before seen even in Moghul times.
have let them down and that we are absolutely powerless
to help in any way. If only the British public knew what is The Editor comments;The indifference shown by
going on in India now they would hang their heads in successive British Governments towards local people
shame. Tomorrow 40,000 people of all ages are being loyal to the U.K., Includes Indians who were then
turned out of their homes near here simply because they regarded as working for the State’s oppressors, Gurkhas,
happen to be Muslims (the same thing is happening to more recently and presently interpreters working for our
Hindus in Pakistan) and are being forced to march over Forces in Afghanistan and now fearing for their lives.
HEREFORDSHIRE, predominantly an agricultural county, abounds in
folklore, superstition, old customs and traditions. Many of these reappear
in adjoining counties in similar or slightly modified form. But perhaps the
nicest of all genuine Herefordshire customs originated in the earnest wish
of a Hentland farmer to pour oil on troubled waters way back in the 18th
century. It seems that century old feuds had lingered on between local
families from the different cultures of Saxon, Norman or Celtic
backgrounds. On Palm Sunday he instituted the custom of everyone
staying behind after church service to enjoy a repast of small cakes
stamped with the slogan `Peace and Good Neighbourhood'. They were
called Pax Cakes and when the custom spread to other villages, hopefully
it served to smooth other troubled waters.
TEXT FROM Food and drink feature in many old customs.
Nothing breaks down reserve more
“Tales of
effectively.
OldHerefordshire” Even the ancient custom of family reunions
on Mothering Sunday included the bringing
by Kathleen Lawrence- home of Simnel cakes to their parents by
Smith servant girls and apprentices who had been
obliged to leave the family circle to follow up
some `living in' occupation.
The ceremony occurs in the middle of Lent and in the early 1900s the
Reverend James Davies read a paper to fellow members of the
Woolhope Naturalists' Club in which he revealed how warmly he
endorsed it. In common with other parish priests he made a point of
welcoming families into the church and using appropriate topics on which
to exhort them all.
Hospitality and reunion were exemplified very clearly in the story of
This railway poster reminds us of the Joseph celebrating the time when he was restored to his family in Egypt
and shared with them from his bountiful store. The New Testament
days when the Ross-Monmouth and lesson brought in the Feeding of the Five Thousand, and the service
onwards line was in daily use. culminated in a homily on `Jerusalem ... above ... which is the Mother of
us all'. Obviously the parson himself thoroughly enjoyed the family
You will surely recognize the idealized painting of the
festival as the Father of his flock.
Wye, with the Malverns in the background.
The same reverend gentleman, somewhat ponderously, went on to give
his candid opinion of Simnel cakes, `of which a little goes a long way.
The crust can never have been meant to be eaten, inasmuch as it is of
the constitution of mortar spiced with more or less saffron and, as it might
be surmised, also with mustard!' Could he have been unfortunate in his
baker? Nevertheless this good old man commended the custom `which
kept fresh and lively the blessed memories of home and of raising the
hearts of the young who have just entered the battle and the turmoil of
life.'
Home life seems also to have been the basis of the ringing of the curfew
bell. It is said to have been instituted by William the Conqueror, who
decreed that eight o'clock was the time to go to bed and to smother or
damp down the fires on the household hearth, the French `couvre-feu'
becoming `curfew'. The sounding of the curfew bell has often been
associated with the limitation of liberty, yet there is something rather
heartening in the thought of all those neighbours lighting the candles,
donning the nightcap, dampening the fire down and settling to slumber at
HENTLAND PARISH CHURCH the same time. It may have helped to dispel the lonely darkness and
establish a pattern of sleep for all.
The Pax Cakes tradition was, of course, Certain charitable persons left bequests in their wills to cover payments
interrupted by you-know-what, but I am for a bellringer to perpetuate the custom, which was extended later as a
sure it will return soon, to be shared by signal to late travellers on the road. Aymestry, for instance, achieved a
neighbouring churches. reputation for its night bell, which became a signal to guide wanderers to
the village shelter for a night's hospitality – a charming interpretation of
the Curfew Bell.
CROSSWORD SOLUTION
ACROSS; DOWN;
1. JUNGLE.
5. MANX. 2. UPSTART.
8 USED. 3. GIDDY.
9. ENHANCED. 4. EVENING DRESS.
10. LADYBIRD. 5. MINIMUM
11. MAYA. 6. NEEDY.
12. STRING. 7. RHODODENDRON
14. DAMSEL. 13.INSIDES.
16. IBIS. 15. ENDURES
18. RINGSIDE. 17. BOXER.
20. OXIDISER. 19. SCREW.
21. RARE.
22. ARMS.
23. NEWEST
Joe and Ernie were walking along the country road
home from the Red Lion one night, when Joe saw a
beautiful frog with glowing eyes, in the middle of the
road.
He picked up the frog and thought to put it on the
pavement. But suddenly the frog spoke in a beautiful,
yet pleading voice.
It said “If you kiss me on the nose, you will release
me from an evil witch’s curse. Once more I will be the
beautiful, wealthy princess I once was and I will
marry you. You will be King one day when my father
dies!”
With great care, Joe put the frog in his pocket.
Ernie shouted “Kiss the frog! Kiss the frog!” Maybe I
will get a beautiful princess myself if you do! Kiss the
frog!”
With great dignity Joe replied,
“Beautiful heiresses are two-a-penny.
But a talking frog is something different!”
This is our latest brew. We call it “The
Philosopher”. If you say your glass is half-full,
we charge you £1 a pint. If you say it’s half-
empty, we charge you £2 a pint”
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