January 2019 Volume 59 Issue 1 - First Presbyterian Church of Grand Island, Nebraska First ...
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Quotidian
Ordinary, commonplace, everyday….where God is found
First Presbyterian Church
January 2019
Volume 59 Issue 1
Things Change
For a short time after college, I found future by looking at the needs of future
myself working for General Motors. Part members, making sure that no one feels
of my orientation was a sixteen-week alone. You have worked to incorporate
training program before I was even young folks into the service, you have
allowed out of the office unsupervised.
Most of the training focused on the
worked to provide other social functions,
commit to an expanded Christian
Inside this issue:
ability to adapt, be flexible and still Education program, and are prepared to
maintain a high standard of customer adapt as needed.
service and stay true to the principles Adult Sunday
and the mission of the organization. As I You have announced to the community 2
neared the end of the training, as did and beyond that you realize that being a School Class
each person before me, I received a church no longer is confined to four walls
letter from the president of GM and a roof.
congratulating me on my training You have afforded the opportunity for New Officers 3
completion. In the final statement in that others to share worship and activities via
letter, the CEO said that I should always live broadcasting capabilities. You
remember that change is necessary for understand that worship no longer Giving Potential 4
survival and unless the company adapts happens in just a sanctuary, and the
and stays competitive it will die. need to be visible on social media and
through live streaming worship is a much Kid’s Page 5
Fast forward from the 1970s to 2007 -needed witness to Christ’s ministry.
when I received notice that General Through your actions, you have clearly Triangulators 6-7
Motors failed, as did other automakers, sent the message that actions and
for not keeping current and not being substance trump the worry of status,
flexible and innovative. As a result they appearance or perception by others. Calendar Insert
lost their customer base. The factories
were shuttered and dealerships were Your deacons and elders are a dedicated
closed as GM fired and laid off thousands group who take the Biblical charge to Birthday Page Insert
of employees. I guess one could make witness and care for the congregation
the observation that change for the sake and community to heart. Their care and
of survival came a bit late and resulted in concern for the members and friends of
painful and hurtful changes in order to the church is amazing.
satisfy creditors. The business failure
required an influx of money from the As with all churches, challenges for the
federal government to keep the doors new year are waiting to be addressed:
open at GM. The need to truly be evangelical in our
intentions to seek out and help those in
I have preached, written and pleaded at need, to actively reach out to others to
times over the past twenty years as I invite and bring them to church and to be
worked with churches, for the need to willing to support the ministries of the
look to the future and not the past. church through time, talent and treasure.
There is an old saying that states that You are a warm and inviting
there is a reason a rearview mirror in a congregation, and I encourage each of
car is a whole lot smaller than the you to be generous in sharing the gospel
windshield - because it is more important of Jesus Christ by intentionally bringing
to see where you are going rather than others to church to worship and share in
where you have been. other activities.
You are all to be commended for looking
to the future, providing inspiration to Blessings to each of you for the new
help with worship and to make year!
worshipping at church meaningful and
inspirational. You have committed to the Pastor Gary
New Adult Sunday School Class!
Join us next Sunday, January 13, at members were indeed friendly . . . to
10:45 a.m. for a four week class one another. The guests felt like they
taught by Pastor Gary. He will be crashed a private party.
using “Becoming a Welcoming Church”
by Thom S. Rainer, bestselling author Rainer has a game plan for churches
of “I am a Church Member” and to become more hospitable. His book
Autopsy of a Deceased Church.” is in a format that is suitable for
church members to read individually
Most church members don't see their or study together. Rainer guides
churches clearly. In almost all of Thom readers toward a practical framework
S. Rainer's consultations, church for making a difference for those who
members perceive their church to be visit their church.
friendly. But as he surveyed guests, he
found that the guests typically saw So come and learn with us as we go
church members as unfriendly. The on a journey of becoming a more
perception chasm existed because the welcoming church!
Happy Birthday Hank and Carol!
Hank and Carol Yencer will both be Hank Yencer: 5410 17th Ave. #230;
having a birthday on January 14. We Kearney, NE 68845
know they would love to hear from
their church family! If you would like Carol Yencer: 5605 K Ave. #14
to send a card, their addresses are: Kearney, NE 68847
Thank You Christlighters
I want to thank you for the many acts 1/6 Hayden & Gabby Edgren
of kindness shown to me during the
recovery from my accident. The many 1/13 Addison & Cailyn Shanelfelt
prayers, flowers and beautiful plant
from the congregation is a continual 1/20 Brooklynn Schanou &
reminder of the caring and thoughtful Corynn Davis
members of 1st Presbyterian Church!
1/27 Bo & Brooklyn Williams
Blessings to All!
Ruth Moore
Ignite Youth Conference
Ignite will be held March 15-17 in Des goal of Ignite is to equip and train
Moines, IA. Registration is due January students, youth workers, and
27 and the cost is $39. Please contact volunteers with Biblical principles.
Christina for more info. Principles that will help each church or
ministry accomplish the goal of
Ignite is a yearly, multi-state Youth reaching people with the gospel of
Conference for student leaders, Jesus Christ.
volunteers, and youth workers. The
Page 2 Quotidian
Church Officers
On January 13, our new class of Nominating Committee: Chuck
church officers will be ordained and Hamner, Tammy Nance, Bev Peterson,
installed. Deb Pool, Sandy Warner
Newly Elected Officers are: Finance Management Committee:
Eunice Alexander, Cindy Stern
Class of 2019 Elder: Susan Holsten
Treasurer: Judy Eversoll
Class of 2021 Elders: Kent Birnie,
Diane Kenyon, Mac Martin, Richard Assistant Treasurer: Tom Klostermeyer
Morhardt, Wanda Stelk
We want to extend a heartfelt thank
Class of 2019 Deacons: Eunice you to those who have served and are
Alexander, JoNon Rieke, Camie See going off the Session and Deacons –
Gene Armstrong, Lourdes Heuermann,
Class of 20121 Deacons: Jill Edgren, Cindy Meyer, Tammy Nance, Jeff
Martha Ewald, Sue Gannon, Carolyn Williams
Johnson, Deb Pool, Sam Stump
Can You Help With Your Portion Of Per Capita?
Did you know that we are required to 2019 is $33.50. The total cost to our
pay a fee to the Presbyterian Church congregation this year will be $11,122.
for each of our members every year? If you are able to help us out by
This cost covers administration and paying your family's portion of the Per
some of the missions of the Capita payment, we would be grateful.
denomination. Most of it stays in the Just mark your check "per Capita". Per Capita
Presbytery. The cost for each of us in
Church Financial Update for General Giving
Dec. Giving: $41,992.27 Jan-Dec. Giving: $363,417.24
Dec. Expenses: $35,354.35 Jan-Dec. Expenses: $373,136.46
Difference: -$ 6,637.92 Difference: -$ 9,719.22
Average Attendance for December: 109
SAVE THE DATE!
The youth are hosting a pancake feed fundraiser on
Sunday, February 17 following worship.
Page 3 Quotidian
Giving Up To Our Potential It’s often said that Christians are most generous people. Unfortunately, it turns out this claim is not entirely true. Even though Christians are more generous than non-religious Americans, that is not much about which to brag. The vast majority of Christians are not giving up to their potential or in the proportion to what their faith teaches. (From Passing the Plate - Oxford University Press, 2009) by sociologists Christian Smith and Michael Emerson and researcher Patricia Snell. In this book the authors reveal some unfortunate truths about the giving patterns of American Christians. Twenty percent give nothing to their church or other charities. The vast majority gives very little. Congregations manage to stay afloat only because of the generosity of a very small percentage who account for about Sixty percent of the total giving – and because churches spend the lion’s share of what is given on their internal needs. Moreover, more affluent church members generally give a lesser percentage of income than those of more modest means. The book attempts to provide a sociological explanation for why American Christians are so stingy, despite the massive gains in real per capita income over the past century. Reality and perception The authors of this study conclude that this poor giving cannot be attributed to a lack of adequate financial resources. People who collectively spend not just billions but trillions of dollars on discretionary items and luxury goods each year cannot objectively claim that they do not have enough money to give. But, they conclude, “their subjective perceptions of financial constraint appear to be an important factor limiting their giving money more liberally.” Even upper middle class Americans tend to think they are just getting by when they are, in fact, quite affluent by any objective standard. Most Christians have the financial capacity to give much more, but only by adjusting their financial priorities and perceptions. A conspiracy of silence Another factor stifling generosity is the conspiracy of silence around money and giving in the church and society in general. In American culture, matters of personal and family finances are highly privatized. Few people feel comfortable discussing their income or financial situation with colleagues, friends, family members, sometimes even their own spouses – much less at church or with their pastor. Pastors, too, tend to be quite uncomfortable dealing with issues of money and giving. Many are so anxious about appearing to talk about money too much that they avoid it altogether. As a consequence, many church members are confused about how to apply the teaching of their faith to their personal resources. Their intentions are often good, but they are not given clear expectations or a consistent framework for their giving. The result is haphazard and occasional giving that fails to live up to normative teachings on stewardship. These authors suggest communicating expectations about religious giving more clearly, teaching the theology of giving more confidently, building trust through improved financial systems and more effective communications, and providing a variety of well-structured and regular means of giving. “Pay the bills” or “live the vision” Congregational culture is also a determinate of giving. The authors contrast two types of churches “pay the bills” churches that are preoccupied with institutional needs and view giving through the lens of obligation and the “live the vision” churches that focus on God’s vision for their church. They see giving as an important aspect of the Christian life and concentrate on nurturing faith, building relationships, and serving mission. For them, increased giving goes with spiritual growth. Although cultural transformation is neither quick nor easy, moving toward a “live the vision” mentality encourages faithful giving. No small matter The authors preface their work with the bold claim that “if American Christians were to give from their income generously –not lavishly, mind you, only generously – they could generate over and above what they currently give, a total of another $133.4 billion a year.” This provocative claim is also the most hopeful – not just for a rallying cry but a Kingdom mandate for us to give to our potential. by Dr. Ann A. Michel © 2015, Lewis center for Church Leadership. Page 4 Quotidian
Page 5 Quotidian
Triangulators
When I studied geometry in high school, I never liked the triangle. There really wasn’t a starting point, but
there were three collisions at each point of the triangle. Then there were all kinds of rules about triangles and
a significant number of different types of them as well. That’s why when I started studying human behavior
and group dynamics, I was not excited about finding the word “triangulation” in the literature. Once I read
on; however, I suddenly realized that a triangle was exactly what was needed to describe problematic people
who seem to just love to irritate others and create dysfunction.
Consider this quote from Tamara Hill, in her article The Trap of the Problematic Person - Caregivers,
Family & Friends:
“Do you know someone who takes pleasure in dragging any and everyone down with
spreading rumors or lies, starting arguments and getting everyone involved, or keeping
problems going by including people who should not be included? If so, you are not alone.
In fact, triangulation is something that emotionally unstable individuals use to either
manipulate or confuse a situation. In some cases, the triangulation is unintentional but
habitual. “
If you have never heard of the term “triangulate” or “triangulation” that’s okay because it’s typically a
concept used mainly in trauma-informed therapy. The term is typically used to describe an individual who
creates drama or confusion using three or more people in a situation. Perhaps some of you may recognize
this behavior. Others may not. Ironically, many who practice this behavior will deny their involvement or
justify it as caring and simply being a good member of an organization.
Baloney!
Those who triangulate are dangerous to the church. Rather than address the issue directly with the pastor or
other members involved in a church activity, they will fester in it and brood about it with their allies or others
who they think may be sympathetic to their cause who have the ear of the pastor or other church members.
I had one church member who came up to me years ago after I taught a course on this issue, and he said it
reminded him of middle school student behavior. Pretty much, that is what it is.
As a police chief, I encountered this behavior all the time between staff members and elected officials.
Oftentimes the offender (and that is what they are) will explain their reluctance to face the person they are in
conflict with because they are “afraid” of them or fearful there will be retribution. One of their most common
phrases are as follows: “I have had a number of people tell me about “X” and they are ready to leave the
church.” When I ask who the people are, they will tell me they have been sworn to secrecy as the people
don’t want to expose themselves. When I dig deeper, and I will, I find out they made it up.
My question is expose themselves to what?
Another tactic triangulators will use is to have a spouse go to the pastor’s spouse or to one of the other staff
members about an issue hoping they can “fix” it with the pastor or other staff person. For example, I have
found that in many churches, church choirs, Sunday School coordinators, coffee fellowship coordinators and
church kitchen folk are notoriously known for hosting and enabling triangulators. They don’t like the pastor
“interfering” with “their” (rather than God’s) activity. For example the choir might not be happy people can’t
see them clearly even though their voices are what are being raised to the glory of God.
There are others though.
Often the triangulators can be found in the church kitchen. They don’t like portion sizes (see last month’s
article on scarcity). “Someone decided to change the seating arrangements”. “There is too much left over”,
“people should take less and not be a glutton”, “those folks only show up to church when there is food.” And
my very favorite is “When is the new pastor going to learn how we do things here.”
Triangulators are the unwitting accomplice of Satan.
Each time triangulators sow discontent, rumors, gossip or hurt others’ feelings, they have damaged Christ’s
Page 6 Quotidian
Triangulators (continued) Church. It is as though they feel that God has appointed them as a special emissary to decide how things are to be done, and heaven help anyone who gets in their way. Another trait of triangulators is how they justify their own inappropriate behaviors. I worked with a small independent church a few years ago. During my interview with the membership, I discovered that many of the members always wondered where the food went that they brought to church for potlucks and funerals as there would always be very, very small portions and half the items brought would be nowhere in sight. After a little checking around, I found out the church kitchen folk would “hold back” the stuff they liked using the excuse to make sure they didn’t run out of things for the dinner and then they would either eat it, take it home or mark it for some other church function they were part of. Kind of sounds like a Pharisee doesn’t it? I’ve always wondered how Jesus felt about these self-appointed guardians of the kitchen. Unintentional Triangulation According to Hill, most triangulators do so unintentionally. They don’t understand why people find the behavior inappropriate. Since most of them have been practicing the behavior since childhood, it is second nature to them. Most triangulators see themselves as three types of individuals: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer. The victim carries the attitude of “poor me”. Triangulation is justified as a defense mechanism to protect themselves as the sacrificial victim. The persecutor is the person who attacks others who are participants in the church activity triangle. They are on the lookout for people they feel are a threat to the way they want things to be or are a threat to their security and power. The Rescuer can often be outside the triangle as well as inside. There may be a committee working on an activity, and someone outside the group hears about it and generally finds someone they dislike or who they see as an “enemy” in the group and will work to destroy the group and the activity. Many pastors who have left the ministry broken and disillusioned, do so because of the Rescuer. What to Do? First, if you see yourself in these descriptions, ask for help and stop the behavior. If you encounter a triangulator, call them out. Confront them and bring in others to sit them down and explain to them lovingly how they are hurting Christ’s Church with their behavior. Offer to help them. Pray for them, but do not let them continue the destructive behavior. Triangulators truly believe that the target of their ire will never find out they were behind it. Ironically, just like a boomerang, the gossip or nastiness will always find its way right back to the offender. Every church has this problem. As I tell staff members when I arrive at a new church, I expect them to come to me if they are unhappy or concerned about my leadership or other aspects of the church “before they go elsewhere.” I also talk to leaders and church members that being straightforward and working to avoid triangulation will keep the church healthy, and the church will be far better for it, and you will feel much better for following Jesus’ teaching about loving one another. Taken from Positive Steps Toward Church Revitalization by Gary Smith Page 7 Quotidian
E-MAIL ADDRESSES
First Presbyterian Church
Pastor Gary Smith pastorgary@gipresby.org
Lisa Ewald (Pastoral Care) ljewald@gmail.com
2103 West Anna Street Stephanie (Preschool Director) stephanie@gipresby.org
Grand Island, Nebraska 68803
Christina (Christian Ed & Youth Director) christina@gipresby.org
Carol Money (Music Director) carol@gipresby.org
Phone: 308-382-0930
Fax: 308-382-8023 Esther (Financial Administrator) esther@gipresby.org
E-mail: church@gipresby.org Britteny (Secretary) britteny@gipresby.org
Adam (Maintenance) adam@gipresby.org
Church (general) church@gipresby.org
We’re on the web!
www.gipresby.org The church’s general address is for any staff member not listed as well
as general church information. E-mail is always welcome!
CHURCH INFORMATION/NEWSLETTER DEADLINE
Our newsletter is published monthly to keep friends and members
of our church informed. For weekly updates, please visit our
website. The deadline for newsletter information to be submitted
for the upcoming month is the 15th of each month. Please call the
office with any questions.
Grand Island, NE 68803.
2103 West Anna Street;
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