So Who's Telling Porkies? - Issue Napier Returned & Services Association Club Magazine September 2021 - RSA Napier

Napier Returned & Services Association Club Magazine September 2021

                               Issue

So Who’s Telling Porkies?

INapier Returned Services’ Association
                                               Incorporated
                                  34 Vautier Street, PO Box 253, NAPIER. NZ
                             Telephone 0-6-835 7629 email reception@rsanapier.co.nz

                 Assistance for                        ALL                      Veterans.
Veterans did you know that you could get the following assistance to help you in your daily
life, and also a possible payment to help you enjoy your leisure times, and help you stay in
your own home.

Assistance with and at NO COST to you.
 Lawns and gardens                                            Home modifications to assist entry and
 House cleaning                                                exit (ramps)
 Gutters cleaned.                                             Attendant care (short term basis only)
 Hearing loss                                                 Adaptive clothing and footwear
 Medical costs                                                Personal alarms (in case of falls etc)
 Furniture modifications                                      Assistance with applications for
 Windows and house washing                                     funding of mobility scooters
   (external only) help may be available                       Travel allowances (certain conditions
   for internal windows.                                        apply)
The above is available to all who served prior to 1st April 1974 and includes all operational
deployments and routine service deployments.

                           CMT are also be considered for assistance.

                                National Support Services Team

                 For 24/7 confidential support and urgent assistance call
                                 0800 NZDF4U (0800 693348)
                 If you Need to Talk to someone, you can call or text the
                      National Mental Health and Addiction Helpline on 1737

For further information or clarification Veteran’s you may contact your Veterans’ Affairs
Case Manager directly on 0800 483 8372, or email veterans@nzdf.mil.nz.
Alternatively, you may make an appointment through the Napier RSA Reception 34 Vautier Street, Napier or
Telephone 0-6-835 7629 ext. 701, our local Support Advisors can discuss your circumstances and complete a
“short needs assessment form.”

Or contact Alan email: veteranservices@rsanapier.co.nz

Support Advisors – Bob Jordan or Alan Lawton

Presidents Report
I promise my nose won’t grow! The Taradale Tavern
currently has a sale and purchase agreement that is
actively in the Due Diligence process.

This is a new agreement and negotiations did not begin
until earlier in the month of August.

As we said last month, we were not averse to
discussing the possible/potential sale of the Tavern and
at that stage it was not and has never been formally
listed as being for sale albeit there has been strong
interest from several potential buyers, all of which had
contacted us independently.

We have been approached and taken advantage of a
very financially attractive proposal that will benefit the Napier RSA over many years
to come and was the sole purpose of purchasing the venue in the first place.

Discussing a sale, arranging a sale and a takeover date is not an instant process,
there are months of licensing issues that have to be arranged and formalized before
there is a physical change at the coal face which is not expected to be finalized until
early December.

COVID 19 – the DELTA Virus has and will continue to have a significant effect on
our business, in fact it will change the whole dynamics of our day to day activity
until we are down to at least level 1 or less.

It is presumed level 2 will have some conditions attached such as further reduced
numbers in the Club at any one time, masks may be mandatory upon access and
egress and hand sanitizer will be easily accessible for the members to use and
ensure their personal safety.

The final layout of the Club for the members enjoyment will be determined by the
new rules set down by the government – something we are still unsure of at the
time of this production.

However, you can be confident that there will be a change that may well disrupt
your normal routine such as seating arrangements, seating numbers and access to
all areas.

Things are going to be difficult and while we can sympathize, we cannot move
outside those restrictions, and we ask for your patience towards staff and your fellow
members during these difficult times be top of mind.

In closing I would like to take the opportunity to thank the Management Team for
their hard work behind the scenes in making sure the Club was ready for the
members to access the moment the levels allow it.

John Purcell QSM JP
Napier RSA President

After Raffles

                              Weekend Bingo
                            Raising funds for local Charities

            NEEDS YOU
 We need your support to keep the Tuesday
Weekly Housie going. Come along and bring
  a friend, starts each week at 12.30pm!

Please contact Bev Russell or Don Fraser:
 events@rsanapier.co.nz (06) 835 7629 extension 711

Happy Birthday to you……
Napier RSA Women’s Section celebrated their 77th
Birthday in June with guest from Hastings and
Taradale RSA Women Section.

The Members and their guests thoroughly enjoyed
the entertainment put on by the Tiffany Variety
Dance Club.

   Tiffany's Variety Dance Club are a group of
  amazing talented entertainers that volunteer
  their time singing in rest homes etc. Most of
              this group are retirees.

The Birthday Cake was cut by Lois Laurent, Life
Member, assisted by Noela Thompson President of
the Napier RSA Branch.

Following the afternoon celebrations and
entertainment, afternoon tea was served to an
exhausted by very happy audience.
                                                                   Photo’s supplied by: Stephanie Chapman

A Little bit funny
A curious mom uses her new iPhone to text her daughter to ask a very important question. The text
reads: What does IDK, ILY, TTYL mean? Before long, the daughter texts back, "I don't know. I love
you. Talk to you later" to which the mom responds, "

It's okay. Don't worry about it, I'll ask your brother. Love you, too."

A Little bit funnier

A guy dies and is sent to hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he
must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their
necks. The guy says, ‘No, let me see the next room.’

In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally
Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee and
eating pastries.

The guy says, ‘I pick this room.’ Satan says Ok and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and
starts pouring some coffee.

On the way out Satan yells, ‘OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!’

Adjuncts and Special Interest Groups

Want to know more, here is our contact list:

      Craft & Natter                                       Punters
           Sharon Strong                                  Robyn Hayes
        s.strong@xtra.co.nz                          robynhayes@hotmail.com

             Darts                                      Rock n Roll
            Jenny Gray                                        Harvey Bryan
     napierrsadarts@gmail.com                       rocknroll.napier@gmail.com

   Events Committee                                 Simply Ballroom
            Don Fraser                                    Bertie & Ansie
       events@rsanapier.co.nz                            anbir@xtra.co.nz
   Fundraising Trivia
          Tracy Gempton                                    Snooker
 operationsmanager@rsanapier.co.nz                         Chris Valk
                                                    wooden.shoescv@gmail.com
       Garden Club
        Maree Leatherby                                     Travel
      mareecl.29@gmail.com                              Barbara Dowding
                                                      bar.bri@slingshot.co.nz
           Housie
            Don Fraser
      events@rsanapier.co.nz
                                                            Trivia
                                                          Tracy Gempton
       Indoor Bowls                              operationsmanager@rsanapier.co.nz
          Bob Harrington
  bobharringtonnapier@gmail.com                     Veterans Support
                                                           Alan Lawton
      Line Dancing:                               veteransupport@rsanapier.co.nz
           Sharon Strong
        s.strong@xtra.co.nz                             Wine Club
          Mahjong                                         Tracy Gempton
                                                 operationsmanager@rsanapier.co.nz
          Margaret Davies
     reception@rsanapier.co.nz
                                                   Women’s Section
   Members Welfare                                       Noela Thompson
            Bev Russell                              reception@rsanapier.co.nz
     reception@rsanapier.co.nz

                                   EOP
                                 Engrave O Print
                   John Hughes – Phone 06 843 9343
              13 Cranbury Crescent, Onekawa Napier 4110
Email: engraveoprint@xtra.co.nz               wwwengraveoprint.co.nz

    RSA Garden Club Planting

Hi All, Finally.... Here are some
shots from the RSA garden
club planting day at Fish &
Game in Napier.

On a lovely Saturday morning
15 May 10 of our group visited
Fish & Game in Burness
Road.
Nick gave a short PowerPoint
presentation and coffee and
then with our spades and
gloves we got busy.
We assisted with planting of
flaxes and grasses near one of
the lake edges. As they were
quite tall plants you could
immediately see the difference
our efforts had made!
When we finished we sat on
the deck and ate our picnics. It
was such a rewarding task to
have assisted with.
Nick said he’d have us back
again to help!
Maree Leatherby

Napier RSA Sports Council Meeting August 2021
Welcome              The chairman welcomed everyone to the meeting held on Saturday 14 August
                     2021 at 10am.
Present              K Lynch (Chair) Punters, Darts V Shearsby, Natter & Craft, Women’s Section,
                     Rock N Roll, Cue Sports, Gardening, Line Dancing, Darts, B Strong (Vice
                     President)
Apologies            T Gempton, Travel Club, Mah Jong, Indoor Bowls
Previous minutes     Were circulated and taken as read
Matter Arising       Nil
Finance              Balance $852. No accounts to pay
Accounts Payable
Correspondence       Nil
                                    ADJUNCT REPORTS
Cue Sports           Everything is fine. Tournament tomorrow handicap singles
Women’s Section      August meeting speaker from Spark to explain changing to fiber. The majority of our
                     members have land lines and have questions that need to be answered. Our July
                     housie afternoon went really well and was lots of fun.
Travel Club          Trip to Eskdale Irong and lunch at the Puketapu Hotel 20th August. Hamilton trip
                     Labour weekend, plans well in hand list is filling up quickly. Looking forward to
                     visits to Tea Plantation, river cruise and zoo gardens.
Indoor Bowls         There was no report
Punters              Everything is going well
Rock n Roll          All good, Friday 3rd have entertainment. Did a demo at Westshore Primary school
                     which was a success, now teaching the students the basics and they love it.
Darts                Nationals, 3 women qualified for plates. North Island champs are Labour weekend
                     in Porirua. The meeting wished them the best of luck.
Line Dancing         The classes are still holding good numbers with the morning class still have a lot of
                     inquiries. We helped one of our line dancers celebrate her 90th birthday with a
                     luncheon in the restaurant, 40 were able to attend, and it was a great day. There is
                     a Sunday social coming up at the end of this month and we are expecting some
                     line dancers from other areas to arrive.
Garden Club          No report
Natter & Craft       This group is still enjoying their weekly get togethers with new faces turning up
                     regularly. Unfortunately we had to cancel the card making classes that were due to
                     be held last week, we may a Christmas class later in the year.
Wine Club            Vavasour wines were tasted, they were all whites and it was a good evening.
Mah Jong             No report
Weekend Bingo        Last month $910 for women’s refuge. This month Belly Full which helps young
                     mothers. Sunday is the better day and to date has no impact on Tuesday housie.
                                   GENERAL BUSINESS
Brian Strong explained about the gaming machines in the Taradale Tavern, and what the money was
earmarked for. If the Tavern is sold, the gaming machines will still belong to the RSA.

Restaurant: Kay is in hospital, the meeting wished her a speedy recovery. She has served the adjuncts
well, and please send thanks to her from you adjunct. New people have leased the restaurant and will be
taking over soon. Ashley and Rebecca Jones have vast experience in the restaurant business, please let
yourselves be known to them.

Raffle rosters. Rock N Roll want 3rd September and will look at swapping with indoor bowls. Cue sports
have Labour weekend. If anyone wants January please let the sports council know.

There being no further business the meeting closed at 10.45. Next meeting 11 September.

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The
leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before
you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the
tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be
famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"

Three women were trapped on an island. They needed to get across the water to the mainland. They came across a
genie who said, "I will grant you ladies three wishes." The first woman said, "Turn me into a fish" and she swam
across the water to the other island. The second woman said, "Give me a boat" and she rowed to the other side. The
third woman said, "Turn me into a man" and she walked across the bridge.

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

THREE TREES AND A WOODPECKER
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the
beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a
woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is,
however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into."

Now wipe that smile off your face.

A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was
opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied,
"Under my buckin' hat."

Three men all die on Christmas Day and arrive at the pearly gates. Peter greets them and tells them that they are all
evil men who should go to hell, but because it's Christmas, he'll let them into heaven if they have something
representing the holiday with them. One of the guys has a Christmas ornament, and gets let in. Another guy has pine
needles on his shirt, and gets let in. The third guy pulls out a pair of panties. "How do those represent Christmas?"
asks Peter. "These are Carol's."

Thank you Kay

It was always going to be a challenge following Bev Russell’s energy
and reputation, so it was with both trepidation and excitement that
Kay stepped into Bev’s shoes in 2017, almost five years ago.
It has certainly not been an easy ride, especially over the last 2 years
with the COVID 19 virus putting restrictions on the business, making
it almost doubly difficult to manage. Exacerbating those difficulties
has been an extreme shortage of skilled staff which has reduced the
restaurant hours to 4 ½ days per week.

“However, lets not dilute the wine with too many tears, it has also
been a fantastic opportunity and one that has given me a lifetime of
great memories”, said Kay

Due to our most recent lockdown with the Delta Virus and a short
stint in Hospital, Kay has not been able to return to work prior to
serving out her notice so I am sure I echo everyone’s thoughts on
behalf of the Executive Committee, Management Team and the
Membership in wishing Kay all the best in her retirement years and
an enormous ‘Thank You’ for her loyalty, extremely hard work and
passion for an industry which is also lifetime commitment.
Editor

COVID - DELTA Delays Take Over
Unfortunately, with an almost immediate lockdown due to the Delta
Virus the Restaurant has remained closed and has delayed the
planned takeover of the Lease by Ashley Jones, potentially until the
1st October.

A soon as we return to Level 2 the RSA main lounge bar will be open
for Bar Snacks etc and Level 1 will see the Restaurant resume full
service and hopefully as soon as they get back to a full strength of
Staff resume operating 7 days and nights per week.

Ashley will spend the remainder of September bringing himself and
the rest of the Restaurant team up to speed with what ever changes
he wants as well as familiarize himself with the intricate workings in
the Kitchen

At the risk of sounding a bit like the Pantene Advertisement “It won’t
happen overnight, but it will happen” will be the driving force behind our desire to return to normal
operations.

We are confident with Ashley’s experience and youthful energy we will see some significant changes to
the style of menu over the ensuing months with a strong focus on quantity and quality. I know members
are very excited about the future success of the Restaurant and on behalf of the Management Team
and the RSA Executive Committee we wish him and his team all the best
Editor

Its Back when we resume full Club services
Its bigger than BEN HUR
Its more laughs than the 3 Stooges at the RACES
ITS………

                                   Napier RSA
        Crack the Safe
WIN                                                                                CASH
All Safe/Jackpot payouts prior Thursday 24th September 2021 will be deducted from the $5000.00 pool and the safe will reset at $500.00
           each time it has been struck. The final night prize will be the total amount of the un-struck prize pool of up to $5000.

                        THURSDAY NIGHTS
   $2.00 per ticket (no limit on number of tickets a member can purchase in sequence)
                        Tickets on Sale on day of draw only from 4.00pm
 Must be a financial member of the Napier RSA and be here
 between 6.30pm to 7.00pm each Thursday with your tickets
          for a chance to WIN by at cracking the safe
  1 extra chance to crack the safe for every 100 tickets sold.
    The Safe will be begin with $500.00 and if unstruck will
Jackpot each week to a maximum of $5000 on the final night.
 Each week after the Jackpot is loaded into the safe, surplus
      funds will be shared into 2 CASH BONUS DRAWS
     The more tickets sold the higher the PRIZE POOLS
                                    Proof of Membership will be required to claim all prizes.

Stronger immunity
Covid19 You can Book NOW

0800 28 29 26