Information for Relatives Following a Bereavement - Worcestershire Royal Hospital Charles Hastings Way, Worcester, WR5 1DD Tel: 01905 763333 ...
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Information for Relatives
Following a Bereavement
Worcestershire Royal Hospital
Charles Hastings Way, Worcester, WR5 1DD
Tel: 01905 763333
We offer you our condolences on your recent bereavement and
we hope this booklet will be helpful in arranging the funeral and
in understanding some of the feelings you may be experiencing.
In the hospital we have several members of staff who are
experienced in listening to people who are grieving.
If you would like to meet one of these members of staff please
contact the Chaplains via the switchboard.
Ward staff will be happy to give you any support and assistance
they can.
Yours sincerely
Chief Executive
1
From Henry Scott Holland
(1847 - 1918)
Death is nothing at all. I have only
slipped away into the next room. I am
I, and you are you. Whatever we were
to each other, that we still are. Call
me by my old familiar name. Speak to
me in the easy way which you always
used to. Put no difference into your
tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity
or sorrow. Laugh as we always
laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed
together. Play, smile, think of me,
pray for me. Let it be spoken without
effect, without a trace of a shadow on
it. Life means all that it ever meant. It
is the same as it ever was. There is
absolutely unbroken continuity. Why
should I be out of mind because I am
out of sight? I am but waiting for you
for an interval. Somewhere very near,
just around the corner. All is well.
2
DEATH CERTIFICATE
Required to register the death with the Registrar
To obtain the death certificate from the hospital please ring the Patient
Services Department, Bereavement Office on 01905 760762 (Direct
Line) or 01905 763333 Ext. 39212, between 9.30am and 3.30pm
every weekday, excluding public holidays. You will be advised on the
availability of the certificate, from where you will be able to collect
it, and will receive help with any questions you may have.
PRACTICAL NECESSITIES
You should find out if your relative or friend made a Will. Consult
the solicitors who hold it to see what your relative or friend's wishes
were as to the funeral. The Will will also disclose the names of the
executors or the persons legally entitled to deal with the deceased's
estate and any questions relating to taxation that may arise.
You may contact any Funeral Director of your choice. You don't have
to wait until the Death Certificate is issued. In some cases it may
not be possible for the hospital doctor to issue a Death Certificate
showing the cause of death (e.g. if the death is referred to the
Coroner). In these circumstances notify your Funeral Director and
follow his advice. Providing there is no Coroner's involvement, you
will be given a Death Certificate by the Patient Services Department
as soon as it has been completed by the appropriate doctor.
Helpful information regarding the payment of funeral costs can be
found in the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) booklet
"What to do after a death in England and Wales". A copy of the
booklet is obtainable from the Patient Services Department.
3
CHAPEL OF REST
If you wish to see the deceased person in the Hospital Chapel of
Rest, the Patient Services Staff can organise an appointment for
you. If you would like a member of staff to be with you, the Patient
Services Staff will arrange this. Opening times are Monday to Friday
8.00am till 4.00pm, excluding public holidays, and, if possible, can
members of your family attend together, direct dial is 01905 760343.
Viewing at a weekend or on a public holiday is available by
appointment arranged through the hospital switchboard on 01905
763333 who will take advice from the manager on call.
CHAPLAIN
If you would like to see the Hospital Chaplain, please ask the ward
staff or Patient Services staff who will be happy to arrange this for
you. They can contact representatives of all faiths as requested.
POST MORTEMS
The Doctors may request a hospital post-mortem to gain further
knowledge of the cause of death. The next of kin has to agree freely
to this and sign a consent form. No pressure will be put on you.
However, if the death is sudden, following an accident, operation,
fracture etc. or cause unknown, the death may be reported to
the Coroner, who may order a post-mortem to be carried out. A
certificate will not be issued by the hospital - the Coroner's Officer
will contact the next of kin and advise them about registering the
death. The Coroner's Officer may be contacted on 01905 822330.
An explanation of the Coroner's involvement can be found in the
DWP booklet.
4
PROPERTY AND VALUABLES
Any valuables i.e. jewellery/money may be available from the ward
or from Cashiers Office. The next of kin will be asked to produce
some form of identification i.e. driving licence or credit card before
signing for money or valuables. The opening times for the Cashiers
Office are:
Monday-Friday 10.00am - 1.00pm
2.00pm - 4.30pm
The personal effects e.g. clothing and toiletries may be collected
from the ward or, if you prefer, these can be brought to you when
you collect the Death Certificate.
REGISTERING THE DEATH
The Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths has an office within
the hospital. An appointment can be made for you by the Patient
Services staff to see the Registrar to register the death.
Please contact 01905 768181 (Central Registry Office) to make an
appointment at a Registry Office within the County if this is more
convenient for you.
When you make an appointment to register a death you will be asked
if you wish to use the "Tell us once" service. If you do, you will be
informed of the extra information required to bring to the appointment
and there is no charge to use this service.
The information that is given will be treated securely and confidentially.
5
WHO MAY GO AND REGISTER A DEATH
Only certain people can register a death with the Registrar of Births,
Marriages and Deaths.
• The next of kin or a close relative.
• A person present at the time of death if there is no next
of kin.
• The occupier, i.e. the Matron or Officer in Charge of a
nursing home or rest home, provided they knew of the
illness before the death.
• The person arranging the burial or cremation of the
body.
• In the case of registering the death of a baby - If a
baby is to be registered in the name of the father and
the parents are not married then both parents must
register together.
WHEN YOU GO TO THE REGISTRAR
You should take the following:
• The medical certificate of the cause of death.
• The deceased's medical card, if possible.
The Registrar will need to know:
• The date and place of death.
• The deceased's last address.
• The deceased's first name(s) and surname (and maiden
name if applicable).
• The deceased's date and place of birth.
• The deceased's occupation and the name and
occupation of husband (if applicable).
• Whether the deceased was getting a pension or
allowance from public funds.
• If the deceased was married, the date of birth of the
surviving widow or widower.
6
The Registrar will give you:
• A Certificate for Burial or Cremation (known as the Green
Form) unless the Coroner has given you an Order for
Burial or a Certificate for Cremation. Whichever form
you are given, it will be needed by the Funeral Director so
that the funeral can take place.
• A Certificate for the DWP for pension purposes.
• A Certificate of Registration of Death. Copies of this will
need to be purchased from the Registrar for any
pension claims, insurance policies, financial matters,
solicitors; normally one or two copies should be
sufficient.
TELL US ONCE SERVICE
Worcestershire Registration service also provides the National ‘Tell
us once’ service when you register a death. On your behalf they
can notify all central and local government and council departments
that need to be informed of the death.
YOU CAN ALSO CANCEL THE FOLLOWING SERVICES
AT YOUR APPOINTMENT
INFORMATION AND DOCUMENTS YOU ARE REQUIRED
TO PROVIDE:
• The deceased person’s National Insurance number
(also spouses National Insurance number if applicable).
• The deceased person’s passport
(or passport number if they have one).
• The deceased person’s driving licence, or licence number
(if they have one).
• The deceased blue disability parking badge
(if they have one).
7
BURIAL
Most churches and cemeteries have set fees for burials of which
your Funeral Director can advise you. The costs may be higher for
the burial of someone who lived outside the parish. Many church
yards are no longer open for burials because there is no space left.
If a space has been paid for in a cemetery, there will be a Deed of
Grant. Most non-denominational cemeteries are owned by either
local authorities or private companies, so fees may vary.
CREMATION
No one can be cremated until the cause of death is definitely known.
There are certain forms that you will be required to sign. Ashes can
be scattered in a garden of remembrance or in a favourite spot -
permission for this may have to be granted. They may be buried in
a church yard or cemetery or they can be kept.
If you have any other questions do ask your Funeral Director. A
helpful booklet "Questions People Ask About Cremation" can be
obtained from your Funeral Director.
CHARITABLE DONATIONS
If you would like a donation to be made to a favourite charity rather
than flowers at the funeral please discuss this with your Funeral
Director.
8PEOPLE TO INFORM
There are various people, companies and other interested parties
who need to be informed of the death.
• Local social services if meals on wheels, home help, day
centre transport were used.
• Bank and/or Building Society.
• Any hospital the person was attending.
• The family doctor.
• The local Inland Revenue Office.
• The local Social Security office to cancel pensions,
allowances, benefits etc.
• Any employer or trade union.
• A child's or young person's teacher, employer or college,
should be informed if a parent, brother, sister, grandparent
or close friend has died.
• Car insurance company. People driving a car insured in
the deceased's name are not legally insured.
• Gas and Electricity suppliers, Telephone company,
Royal Mail deliveries, local newsagents, milkman.
• Professional organisations.
• Local Authority Housing Department, if the deceased was
receiving Housing Benefits/Council Tax benefit, also if the
deceased was living in property rented from the
Council.
• Private Landlord.
9THINGS MAY NEED RETURNING
The deceased's passport, driving licence, car registration documents,
membership cards and National Insurance papers must all be
returned to the relevant offices. Check for any library books that
might need returning. If there was any NHS equipment being used
it will need to be returned to either the hospital or health centre from
where it came.
DWP BEREAVEMENT SERVICE
Contact the bereavement service to cancel the person's benefits
and entitlements, e.g. State Pension. They'll also check if you're
eligible for help with funeral costs or other benefits.
Telephone: 0345 6060265
Textphone: 0345 6060285
YOUR DOCTOR CAN HELP
Bereavement can turn your world upside-down and is one of the
most painful experiences we have to endure. Most of the time it is
something that we all go through without need for medical attention.
For those who do run into problems however, there is help available
and you shouldn't hesitate to contact your GP.
10GRIEVING
Death is usually beyond the control of anyone.
Bereavement is a distressing experience that all of us encounter at
sometime in our lives. Yet it is something that is talked about very
little. Different people react to bereavement in different ways. Some
people get stuck in the grieving process. The information contained
in this publication is designed to help with such eventualities as well
as suggesting certain associations and businesses that can help
with the practicalities and also help you to plan for the future.
Grieving is a natural process that can take place after any kind of
loss. When a loved one dies our feelings of grief have to run their
course. There are a whole succession of different feelings that can
take time to go through and must not be hurried. Although people
are all individuals, the order in which they go through these feelings
is very similar.
For some hours or days following the death of someone who is close,
most people feel stunned. A feeling of disbelief is common, even if
the death has been expected. This feeling of emotional numbness
can help in dealing with the various practical arrangements that have
to be made. However this detachment from reality can become a
problem if it goes on for too long.
To overcome this it can help to see the person who has died.
Sometimes it's not until the funeral that the reality of what has
happened finally sinks in. Although it may be distressing to attend
the funeral or to see the body, it is important to say goodbye to the
one we loved. It is often the case for people who did not do this to
experience a great feeling of regret for years to come.
After the feeling of numbness has gone it is often replaced by a
sense of agitation and a yearning for the person who has died.
This can affect the bereaved in their everyday life. It may be difficult
to relax, concentrate or sleep properly. Some people experience
extremely disturbing dreams, others say that they see their loved
one everywhere they go, more commonly in the places that they
used to spend time together.
11It is also quite usual to feel angry at this time - towards doctors and
medical staff for not preventing the death, towards people around
such as friends and relatives, even towards the person who has died.
Another common feeling is guilt. It is possible that people who are
bereaved will go over in their mind all the things that they wished
that they had said or done. In some cases they may even consider
what they could have done to have prevented the death. Guilt is
sometimes experienced if a sense of relief is felt when someone has
died, particularly after a distressing illness. This feeling is perfectly
natural and very common.
These strong, confusing emotions can be felt for quite a while after
the death and are generally followed by periods of sadness and
lethargy. Grief can be sparked off many months after the death.
It is important to remember that some people cannot deal with other
people's emotions and tend to stay away at the time when they are
needed most of all. You may have to encourage these people to
talk to you. Try not to be upset if they can't.
It is best to resume a normal life as soon as possible.
The pain caused by the death of a loved one never entirely
disappears. For the bereaved person there are constant reminders
of their loss - seeing other families together and from the images
seen on television of happy families. All of this can make it difficult
to adjust to a new lifestyle.
The different stages of mourning tend to overlap and can show
themselves in various ways. There is no "standard" way of grieving.
Time helps us to adjust.
12GRIEF IN CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS
Generally children do not understand the meaning of death until
they are three or four years old, but they feel the loss of a close
friend or relative in much the same way as adults. Even in infancy
it is clear that children grieve and feel great distress.
Children experience the passage of time differently to adults and
can therefore appear to overcome grief quite quickly.
Children in their early school years may need reassuring that they
are not responsible for the death of a close relative as sometimes
they blame themselves.
It is important that the grief of young people is not overlooked as they
will often not want to burden parents by talking about their feelings.
They should be encouraged to take part in the whole bereavement
process. Wherever possible they should be allowed to attend the
funeral and to express their own grief by talking, writing, drawing
pictures, buying flowers from their own money or in whatever way
they wish.
GRIEF THAT IS NEVER RESOLVED
Some people hardly seem to grieve at all. They avoid any mention
of their loss, do not cry at the funeral and appear to return to their
normal life quickly. For some people this is just their way of dealing
with their loss and no harm occurs.
Others however may suffer physical illness and periods of deep
sadness for some time to come. Some people get stuck in the
grieving pattern. The sense of disbelief and shock continues and
never seems to end, they cannot think about anything else but the
death of their loved one.
If this happens there is a list of care associations who can help at
the end of this booklet.
13HELPFUL HINTS ON DEALING WITH GRIEF
Things to Avoid
Don't rush into having the funeral right away unless it is the practice
of your culture and don't be persuaded to have an expensive funeral
unless you really want it.
Avoid entering into any financial or legal arrangements unless you
fully understand them.
Avoid making any major changes to your life while you are still
grieving. Give yourself lots of time to think about changes you may
wish to make and discuss these plans with others.
Avoid letting others rush you into anything before you are ready,
but remember that sometimes you may not know whether you are
ready for something unless you give it a try.
Avoid turning to drugs, smoking or alcohol to stop yourself feeling
the pain of grief.
Things to Do
Express your feelings as much as possible. Try to bring out into
the open whatever you are feeling. This is important in working
through your grief.
Give yourself time to overcome your grief. There is no fixed time
to get over bereavement.
Talk through what has happened with someone you trust e.g. your
family, a close friend, an appropriate support group.
Do take good care of yourself, get lots of rest, eat well and give
yourself lots of time to grieve.
Contact your GP if you feel unwell.
14Keep in touch with friends and family - remember that most people
feel honoured to be asked to help. Many people feel awkward and
embarrassed about offering their help, so it may be left to you to
ask for it, even though this may be difficult for you.
Begin to make longer term plans for the future so that you will always
have something to look forward to, but avoid rushing into making
any big changes in your life.
ADVICE AND SUPPORT
Though we cannot recommend organisations, we have listed several
organisations used to dealing with bereavement. It is sometimes
easier to talk to a stranger on the telephone about the way you feel
rather then someone that is close to you.
AGE UK Tel: 0800 008 6077
Worcs 01905 724294
Freephone 0800 008 6077
BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT SOUTH WORCESTERSHIRE
Worcs 01905 760934
CARERS UK SUPPORT GRP B’HAM
Sutton Coldfield
B72 1RN
Helpline 020 7378 4999
Freephone 0808 808 7777
CHILD DEATH
Tel: 0800 282 986
15COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS
(Support for bereaved parents and families similarly bereaved)
53 North Street
Bristol
BS3 1EN
Tel: 0345 123 2304
CRUSE BEREAVEMENT (WORCS)
Tel: 01905 22223
LULLABY TRUST (INFANT DEATHS)
Helpline 020 7802 3200
MACMILLAN CANCER RELIEF
Tel: 0808 808 0000
MISCARRIAGE ASSOCIATION
17 Wentworth Terrace
Wakefield
WF1 3QW
Tel: 01924 200799
NORTH EAST WORCESTERSHIRE VICTIM SUPPORT
c/o The Ecumenical Centre
6 Evesham Walk
Redditch
B97 4EX
Tel: 01527 66462
PRIMROSE CANCER HELP CENTRE
St Goldwalds Road
Bromsgrove
Tel: 01527 871051
SAMARITANS
National call centre - calls at local rate
Tel: 116 123
Also Worcs 01905 21121
16SANDS (STILLS BIRTH & NEONATAL DEATH SOCIETY)
28 Portland Place
London
W1B 1LY
Tel: 0207 436 5881
Solihull Branch 07890 780 433
ST RICHARDS HOSPICE
Wildwood Way
Worcester
WR5 2QT
Tel: 01905 763963
TERENCE HIGGINS TRUST
Rowans Court
192 Herbert Road
Small Heath
Birmingham
B10 0PR
Tel: 0121 694 6440
STOPPING UNWANTED JUNK MAIL
Stop mail is a free of charge service provided by the Bereavement
Support Network, helping you to stop mail and reduce the likelihood
of identity theft in your loss.
Please visit www.stopmail.co.uk or ask for a leaflet when visiting
the Bereavement Office.
17FRIENDS AND RELATIVES CAN HELP
By spending time with the person who has been bereaved.
Being close to others can be a great source of comfort. It is not
always necessary to say anything, just being there is enough.
It is important that a bereaved person is able to talk and cry with
someone without being told to pull themselves together.
People who are bereaved may cover the same ground, talking and
becoming distressed about the same things over and over again.
This is an important part of the healing process and should be
encouraged.
Talking about the person who has died and using their name can
help the bereaved avoid the feeling of isolation. Not mentioning the
name of the person who has died, for fear of causing upset, can
lead to a sense of isolation and add to the grief of the bereaved.
Other difficult times when friends and relatives can be of help are
festive occasions and anniversaries, which can be particularly painful
for years to come.
Practical help with domestic chores and looking after children can
all lead to easing the difficulties facing the bereaved.
Elderly bereaved partners may need more practical help than most,
particularly with financial arrangements - paying bills etc.
18LOCAL FUNERAL DIRECTORS
DAVID BAKER:
98 High Street, Bidford on Avon 01789 773482
A . V. BAND:
41 St. Nicholas Street, Worcester 01905 22892
BEDWARDINE:
1 St. John's, Worcester 01905 748811
KEITH W BORASTON:
6 Lisle Avenue, Kidderminister 01562 66903
CLEOBURY FUNERAL DIRECTORS
9 Talbot Square, Cleobury, Mortimer 01299 540541
07450 764214
CO-OP FUNERALCARE:
17 Lowesmoor, Worcester 01905 22137
105 Barnards Green Road, Malvern 01684 574733
30 Swan Lane, Evesham 01386 446188
49 Eign Gate, Hereford 01432 376865
GEORGE CRUMP & SONS:
32-33 Hanbury Road, Droitwich 01905 886431
JAMES GILES & SONS:
24 Stourbridge Road, Bromsgrove 01527 872318
HOLLAND:
71 Barnards Green Road, Malvern 01684 575343
MERSTOW GREEN:
20 Merstow Green, Evesham 01386 49903
E. J. GUMERY:
68, 70 and 72 Ombersley Road, Worcester 01905 22094
19EDWIN HARRIS AND SONS:
1 Crane Street, Kidderminster 01562 822625
01562 823570
01299 829873
E HILL:
Fairfield House, Defford Road, Pershore 01386 552141
HANDLEY AND HAWCUTT:
17 Drapers Lane, Leominster 01568 612225
H H HANDLEY:
3 Little Hereford Street, Bromyard 01885 482216
HAWCUTT:
Hawcutt House, Bye Street, Ledbury 01531 632084
A. HOSKINS:
220 Marlpool Lane,Kidderminister, 01562 743131
107 The Birches, Stourport on Severn 01584 872048
129 Astwood Road, Worcester 01905 27862
HUNTLEYS:
58 Ipsley Street, Smallwood, Redditch 01527 62106
B. INCE:
Bank House, Severn Side South, Bewdley 01299 403105
ANDREW PHILLIPS FUNERAL SERVICES:
De Lys, Wells Road, Malvern 01684 563983
M. J. PRESLAND:
19 High Street, Upton Upon Severn 01684 592393
F.W. SPILSBURY:
12 Upper Howsell Road, Malvern 01684 892777
PHILIP TOMLINS:
36-37 The Leys, Evesham 01386 765133
37 Bromyard Terrace, Worcester 01905 422666
20R.L. REA:
17 Rock Hill, Bromsgrove 01527 831723
THOMAS BROTHERS:
Birchfield House, 494 Evesham Road, Redditch 01527 547777
12A Red Lion Street, Alvechurch 0121 445 3422
100 Alcester Road, Wythall 01564 822001
WORCESTER FUNERAL SERVICES:
31c Barbourne Road, Worcester 01905 23499
21Please contact Patient Services on 0300 123 1732 if you would
like this leaflet in another language or format (such as Braille
or easy read).
Bengali
Urdu
Portuguese
Polish
Chinese
Reference: Worcestershire Royal Hospital Bereavement Book
Review Date: May 2019
Publication Date: May 2017
22Document Contact Tel. No. Location
Will
Birth / Marriage Certificate
Funeral Plans
Life Assurance Policy
Care Insurance Policy
Home Contents Policy
House Building Policy
Shares / Investment Certificates
Disability Policy
Mortgage Papers
Property Deeds
Premium Bonds
Unit Trusts
National Savings Certificates
Bank Account Books
Pension Details
Chiropodist Appointments
Dentist Appointments
Optician Appointments
Doctors / Hospital Appointments
Funeral Expenses
Driving Licence*
Child Benefit Books etc*
Car Registration Documents*
Season Tickets*
Library Tickets*
National Insurance Papers*
Medical Cards
Passport*
Membership Cards*
Credit Cards*
* These items need to be returned to the originator
23
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01527 62106
58 Ipsley Street, B98 7AE
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F.
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Our caring staff are here to listen and advise you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Our services include: Pre-paid Funeral Plans, Memorial Masonry and Floral Tributes
Worcester Evesham
17 Lowesmoor, WR1 2RS 30 Swan Lane, WR11 4PD
01905 221 37 01386 446 188
Malvern Hereford
105 Barnards Green Road, WR14 3LT 49 Eign Gate, HR4 0AB
01684 574 733 01432 376 865
www.co-operativefuneralcare.co.uk
Your LocaL FuneraL
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We offer a caring, professional service,
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Handley & Hawcutt H H Handley Funeral Directors
Funeral Directors
17 Drapers Lane, Leominster, 3 Little Hereford Street, Bromyard,
HR6 8ND HR7 4DE
01568 612 225 01885 482 216
Hawcutt Funeral Directors David Baker Funeral Directors
Hawcutt House, Bye Street, Ledbury, 98 High Street, Bidford on Avon,
HR8 2AA B50 4AF
01531 632 084 01789 773 482
Philip Tomlins Funeral Directors Philip Tomlins Funeral Directors
37 Bromyard Terrace, St Johns, 36-37 The Leys, Evesham, WR11 3AP
Worcester, WR2 5BW
01905 422 666 01386 765 133Published by RNS Publications © Tel: 01253 832400 R12
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