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neeyum njanum
issue 1 , volume 1
August 2020
Official newsletter of Institute for Counselling and Transactional Analysis
(ICTA) is “Neeyum Njanum’’ - which means You & Me.
ICTA - INSTITUTE FOR COUNSELLING AND TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Foundation stone of the
first TA institute in India
was laid of 9-9-1973.
eDITORIAL - icta Quarterly news letter [ Volume -1 , issue -1]
I CTA journal ‘NEEYUM NJANUM’ (You
& Me) will reach you as quarterly for
the time being with all prospects to up-
among needy public and to make it more
accessible to public. As you may have no-
ticed, our last Conference in Kochi got
grade as monthly with your active su- wide media coverage, review of which
pport and encouragement, as originally appeared in all leading newspapers
published by our beloved
founder. It shall be a plat- Let us work together to
form for our members to reach out to public in all
share experiments and ex- possible ways. Journal
periences with TA, to write is an effective method
articles on any TA related as all the visitors of our
subjects and to act as an website, members as
official channel of commu- well as public will read
nication of ICTA. The jour- the contents. So we will
nal will be in digital form have to make it more and
and will be permanently more interesting and in-
available in our Website formative
V John, Secretary, ICTA
for future reference.
This year 2020 shall be a turning point Wishing you all the best in 2020
for growth of ICTA. Our much awaited
Fr. George Kandathil SJ. Founder of ICTA YouTube channel is already launched, to Editor
popularise genuine TA concepts more
Neeyum Njanum - Issue 1 - Volume -1 Page -1 Website : www. ictaindia.org
issue 1 , volume 1
neeyum njanum
August 2020
TA IN THE NEW DECADE
F r. George Kandathil S J, “
The Father of Transactio-
nal Analysis in India” planted
ce new short term
programs. Such
programs shall fo-
One more appeal to our res-
pected members is to bring
in at least one member to our
the seed of ICTA about five de- cus on application fold. This decade we need to
cades ago and now we are en- of TA concepts like, think seriously how we can
tering into a new decade with ‘TA for Counse- grow up and meet the expec-
a lot of aspirations. Late Ei- ling’, ‘TA for Paren- tations our beloved Guru Fr.
ghties ICTA focus was shifted ting’, ‘TA for Mari- George Kandathil SJ. Wish
to TA training and Fr George tal Harmony’ etc. you all peace , harmony and
with his first disciple Sr. An- Diploma courses success all through out…
nie Maria and Mr. Unnikamu will be more ideal.
team initiated discussions One another area President
with International TA Asso- we need to focus K A Sebastian
ciation (ITAA) and started co- K A Sebastian President, ICTA is MTA. Governing
llaborating with them in trai-
ning. The first batch included
Sr. Annie Maria, Smt. P K. needed for quick response / Council can ini-
Saru, Smt. Sashi Chandran
and so on. I joined this group
decisions and coordinating
training all over India with
tiate formation
of a Training
I am with you
around 1989. Later on when Governing Council. Academic Standards Com- I am with you always
Fr. George was confident to Council has to initiate serious mittee which Fully embedded deep inside
start TA training indepen- discussions to revamp trai- can include As wellspring of true happiness
dently, ICTA started BTA ning in the new decade. Upda- capable BTA True intimacy and Spontanity
course. We grew beyond the ting the skill requirement of trainers who
state of Kerala and started TA the trainers need to be focu- conduct regu- If you want to enjoy life’s flow
training in Pune, Mumbai, sed. We need to plan re-intro- lar groups. This If you want to enjoy relationships
Hyderabad and so on. duction of TEW (Training En- committee can If you want to enjoy nature’s bliss
dorsement Workshop) before function as an Unleash me, liberate me
Now two decades are over and allowing Trainers conducting advisory body
I think that a time has come to Basic Courses after BTA. Now to Governing If you want to be more creative
rethink about our training to different methodologies are Council like If you want to be more imaginative
make it systematic, attractive followed by the trainers. I Academic Coun- If you want to be more humourous
and useful. We need to intro- heard that even script ques- cil that focus on Unleash me, liberate me
duce uniform pattern in gi- tionnaires are given for TA the conduct of
ving Basic TA training which basic course by some trainers. Advance TA Tra- If you like to be more artful
is the only basic qualification ining. TSC can If you like to laugh heartily
to join BTA. I expect contribu- Another area where I expect focus more on If you like to spread smiles
tions from senior trainers in contributions from senior improving the Unleash me, liberate me.
this regard. Functioning of a ICTA trainers and other smart training stan-
control center at ICTA is also junior trainers is to introdu- dards.
TA in the new Decade GREETINGS to "NEEYUM news from ta pune Successful Ageing -
NJANUM' chapter A TA perspective
KA Sebastian, writes
about 5 dacades of ICTA Best wishes to Neeyum Updates from Pune Chap- The Showing of Little Pink
history. Njanum. ter Riding Hood- A Life Reflection!
Neeyum Njanum - Issue 1 - Volume -1 Page -2 Website : www. ictaindia.org
issue 1 , volume 1
neeyum njanum
August 2020
GREETINGS to “NEEYUM NJANUM” as SJ, Director, Santigram.
N EEYUM NJANUM is res-
tarting its publications.
And I am really happy with this
ve, serves a double purpose.
For one thing, it becomes a
channel for spreading TA and
in the heavens looking down
on this attempt at this revival
of NEEYUM NJANUM and sa-
the new Editor and the enthu-
siastic team. May NEEYUM
NJANUM live for long years
good news. It is good news be- its relevance for our lives as ying: Three Cheers! Fr. Geor- serving all those love TA.
cause all those who had known we struggle to make sense of ge Kandathil SJ! It was he
NEEYUM NJANUM for many our lives in the midst of all the who conceived of it and gave As someone who had the pri-
years and had loved TA were confusion and pain and the birth to it and nourished it for vilege of editing NEEYUM
missing the regular inputs occasional victories we know many years. Let us join him NJANUM for a while, many
that NEEYUM NJANUM was of. It serves another purpo- and say “Congratulations” to years ago, I feel a special pri-
providing - inspiring and gui- se: it enables TA students ICTA and especially to its pre- de in greeting the new team.
ding their personal lives. I am to recognize the relevance sident K A Sebastian and the AD MULTOS ANNOS.
sure they would welcome this of the theories they learn in Secretary Cherthala John who
news wholeheartedly; and I the classrooms and from the are the moving spirits behind Fr. Ephrem Thomas SJ,
too join them in warmly wel- books, and present their per- this fresh start. Congratu- Director, Santigram. Thomas
coming this re-born NEEYUM sonal reflections and discove- lations to Ms. Tehseen who SJ, Director, Santigram.
NJANUM. ries based on what they have edited it ably for a short while
been studying before the rea- and has moved out due to per-
NEEYUM NJANUM, I belie- ders. I imagine someone up sonal commitments; and to
News from ICTA Pune Chapter
W ishing all of our mem-
bers happy and prospe-
rous New year 2020.
nized 11 BTA batches in Pune
Mumbai area and 20 persons
have completed BTA success-
ting certified BTA trainers, as
practiced during Fr George
Kandathil period,if agreed by
ges along with Indian pathos
and ethos to all citizens living
in Central and Northern parts
fully. This could be achieved present Governing Council of of India.
As you are aware, ICTA Pune without hurdle because of the ICTA.
Chapter was established In persistent support received It is also opined by many
the year 2004 which was inau- from KA Sebastian , President In addition, Certified TA tra- members of ICTA Pune Chap-
gurated by Fr. George Kanda- of ICTA and Dr Siddharthan , iners, BTA passed candidates ter to have separate ICTA
thil, in presence of Anu Agha, Chairman Academic Council and BTA trainees are conduc- Chapter for Mumbai to enable
Chairman, Thermax company ICTA who conducted special ting TA workshops for the be- to manage administrative and
Ltd, Cora Menezes, TA expert sessions for the BTA trainees nefits of students, company coordinating work to conduct
in Pune and Bala Subrama- whenever requested. At pre- executives, parents, teachers workshops in the vast city
niam, Chairman Balaji Ma- sent there are 20 BTA quali- etc. Certified trainers are also of Mumbai. Annual plan for
nagement Institutes. In the fied persons and 30 BTA trai- conducting TA workshops in the year 2020 in regard to TA
same year itself VV John nees in this Chapter. reputed companies in Maha- training program on a large
who was having qualification rashtra especially in Pune and scale in schools, colleges, tra-
of only BTA without previous ICTA Pune Chapter has 8 cer- Mumbai. Parag Gandhi BTA ining institutes, corporate
experience started the first tified TA trainers who are au- has successfully conducted etc is being finalized by ma-
BTA advance training in Pune thorised to conduct certified TA workshop in our neigh- nagement committee ICTA
with supervision and training TA Basic course and they are bouring country Nepal. Sunil Pune Chapter. Our website is
support from the following now independently conduc- Acharya BTA trainee from www.ictapunemumbai.org
experts namely Fr George ting TA Basic course in Pune Mumbai is also conducting
Kandathil, Candida Kanda- and Mumbai. Those 8 certi- TA in Gujarath. VV John, Associate Director,
thil, Pearl Drego and Oswald fied trainers are ready to start ICTA Pune Chapter
Summerton . The ICTA Pune BTA training independently Our ICTA Chapter has mis-
Chapter team has so far orga- under supervision of exis- sion of spreading TA messa-
Neeyum Njanum - Issue 1 - Volume -1 Page -3 Website : www. ictaindia.org
issue 1 , volume 1
neeyum njanum
August 2020
Successful Ageing – A TA perspective
T he basic position/Existen-
tial position/Life position
which is formed in the early
a woman in her early eighties.
When she calls me, I try to
skip away from her because,
childhood stays with a person spending time with her is not
for the rest of his/her life. As easy for me. She is not happy
Dr Eric Berne wrote, every always complaining and la-
Photo by wayhomestudio / Freepik
game, script and destiny is menting about everything.
based on one of the four life
positions. She does not allow others
around her to be happy and
When I observe senior citi- utters words of curses even
zens familiar to me, I look at to her grandchildren. Her hs-
them thorough this TA pers- band died years back. And,
pective. During my visit last two of her sons died recently.
day to a palliative care centre I She is blaming the only one tanding that the life position body is responding back. Even
met a woman named Kumari, son remaining for not proper- of her mother-in law is I am my grandchildren do not visit
who is bedridden for the last ly taking care of her. Though ok but you are not ok. This me. All are busy and no one
six months is not able to sit or her daughter –in law gives ne- person in her childhood, may wants me. Though she gave
stand. Her illness is spine can- cessary amenities and satis- had the conviction that she positive strokes she gets only
cer. She is not much educated. fies her necessary needs, she needs to be one up and others negative strokes.
Coming from a low income is not thankful. She is keen one down as she managed to
family, She is very happy con- in finding faults and abusing achieve her wants only throu- According to Dr.Berne, early
tent and hopeful.Kumari is her. Though I am sympa- gh a continued struggle. These decisions come first and life
very thankful to everything thising with this person as I people have a very dominant positions are adopted to jus-
she got in life. She is very mo- know her life position is I am Critical Parent ego state, and tify it. According to Claude
dest in behaviour. She doesn’t not ok you are not ok. This an expert in giving negative Steiner, life position is adop-
complain about anthing and life position is the most likely strokes. They will be reluctant ted much earlier than the de-
hopes to get back to her old foundation for a losing script. to give positive strokes. cisions. Life position can be
charm. She prays for the nur- She is in her early childhood changed, though of course it
ses who change her nappies, and may have the conviction I had years of living experien- may not be all that easy. As
and feeds her. Kumari writes that life is futile and full of ce with my aunt who is now per Erickson’s theory of life
something every day in the despair. She loses herself as a little depressed person. I span development, the final
notebook by hoding the book being one down and unlova- always tried to get her coming psychological conflict is ego
liitle high in good handwri- ble. She believes that no one to the front and to be active integrity versus despair, in-
ting. When I asked, she said help would help her as they are in the family circle asking her volves coming to terms with
it is her daily reflections she not ok. She unknowly creates opinion and making her think one’s life position. Adults who
writes. And, she is chatting scenes of rejecting and being that she is fully ok. As I know arrive at a sense of integrity
wit God through that media. rejected. she is having the life position feel whole, complete and sa-
I am not ok you are ok. She is tisfied with their lives (Auto-
This is the typical example of a A middle aged woman who comfortable in confining to nomy). According to Abraham
winner in life keeping the life came for counselling came to her small world. She is with- Maslow, the final hierarchi-
position I am ok you are ok. me last week. Even after her drawing and usually plays the cal position is self-actualiza-
Though lying in the bed, she marriage of twenty years she game’’poor me’’. To fit with tion. The negative outcome
makes her presence joyful to could not cope up with her her basic position, she cons- of this stage is despair often
all those who come to her. She mother-in law till date. She tructs a script around her the- expressed in anger, contempt
views herself as lovable and is having menopausal health mes of being victimised and for others and contempt for
extends this view to all near to issues, challenges of making losing out to others. Someti- oneself etc. As Dr.Eric Berne
her. It was difficult for me to her daughter a mature per- mes she says to me how much states, end is the proof of the
leave her because her presen- son. Her main problem is not I fed others, taught in pre-pri- script.
ce made me enlightened. knowing how to manage her mary (Asan kalari). She wor-
mother-in law. From her des- ked hard to bring up others Thresiamma John, MTA
In my neighbourhood there is cription, I made and unders- but, everything is in vain. No-
Neeyum Njanum - Issue 1 - Volume -1 Page -4 Website : www. ictaindia.org
issue 1 , volume 1
neeyum njanum
August 2020
THANKS FOR ALL THAT HAS BEEN; ‘YES’
TO ALL THAT SHALL BE
Fr. George Kandathil
I t is 37 years since I landed
back in India after my TA
studies in the States . My bag
and woman of all religions ,
all states and Educational Ins-
titutions and the corporate
at Trivandrum in 1971, before
the Conference of Catholic Bi-
shops of India in Calcutta and
the ICTA saw the light of the
day on 9th September 1973
was as light as it was when I world opened their portals to the Corporate Managers at Taj ( Presidential Address : NCTA
went to the States. My heart welcome it, even when it was Mahal Hotel, Bombay around Pune 2008)
was light too .The customs presented by me, a simple, that time, those who heard
Officer who checked my bag- shy priest in those days. Per- me reveal the application of To some, the challenge of tru-
gage did not know that I was haps that itself is a proof of TA in all life Situations ,wi- th about themselves was too
bringing with me a useful tool the appeal that TA has on the thout exception took to it for demanding. They fell away not
that could plumb the depths people, simple as well as so- what it was really worth. TA willing to let through trans-
of human hearts. The tool I phisticated. TA speaks a lan- did not need and does not form them. Some others were
brought past ‘duty free’ throu- guage easy enough to be un- need multi-syllabic words too eager to sell TA before tas-
gh the green channel was a derstood by an eight year old and pompous presentation ting it’s transforming power
pair of Alphabetic letters -TA , child. That was the criterion to make it appealing . The in their own lives. Some felt
the CD and DVD of all human Eric Berne had set for TA tea- simple truths revealed by competent to take TA to peo-
Relationships chers and writers. He deman- TA have their own persuasi- ple’s lives on their own . They
ded a re-write of all articles ve power. “This is me” is an parted , to persue their own
Such was the fascination that that were incomprehensible echo that TA evokes in an paths , with bonds unbroken
Transactional Analysis had for to an 8 year old. And so when aware mind. So people rea- and spirits united.
those who came to know even I presented it before a group dily walked with me on the
its simplest basics that men of Religious and lay people path of Self knowledge , and
The Showing of Little Pink Riding Hood-
A Life Reflection!
A t the outset, my wholehea-
ratitude to all those who
introduced walked me throu-
Source: Natalie T (http://
outherentworock.blogspot.
com/)
“Scripts are artificial systems
which limit spontaneous
and creative human aspira-
and identify my scripty, un-
conscious behaviors, and the
limiting beliefs I was carrying
gh the Concept and Theory of tions. The script is like a pie- to the date. My understanding
Transactional Analysis. The Scripts, Life Positions, ce of decorated, frosted glass may be arguable looking to the
and related theory have at- which parents place between material or actual meaning
My intent here, is to express tracted me to a great extent the child and the world (and mentioned. Though, I found
my curiosity while I reflect on ever since I took up the course themselves).” it very much relating to that I
my experiences and connect to in learning Advanced TA. derived from my experiences.
the concepts I learned from Dr. These lines caught my atten-
Eric Berne’s Book - What Do Chapter twelve of this book tion and took me to relate, re- The excerpt of the story, as
You Say After You Say Hello? - Some Typical Scripts, says flect on my past experiences, mentioned in the form of The-
Neeyum Njanum - Issue 1 - Volume -1 Page -5 Website : www. ictaindia.org
issue 1 , volume 1
neeyum njanum
August 2020
The merry quips of Pink Ri- function, I was taken aback by
ding Hood get me an abun- surprise, noticing a group of
dance of friendship, the my colleagues on stage with
Affectionate Parent ( Parental me enjoying the accolades for
Pattern), and ‘Be a good girl!’ their negligent contribution.
(Parental Percept) supported Pink Riding Hood witnessed
well to be in the dominant Life the Red Riding Hoods beside
Position - I’m Not OK, You/ her, all smiling and shining
They are OK. I also see the bright!
childhood slogan, “Do your
Duty, Don’t Complain” very However, these reflections,
well maintained, to please and my Transactional Analysis
retain the “Good Girl “ image. Journey, has helped me na-
vigate my adventurous life
sis, is that Little Pink Riding ce to ask: “Can I help you with During my schooling, I re- journey, with the caution of
Hood is an orphan, or has re- anything?” Thus, she could member, the initial enthu- Awareness, by making mea-
ason to feel like one. She is a have a deep relationship with siasm, of taking initiatives ningful choices, while I’m at
cute kid, full of wise percepts a loser but didn’t do so well to host or conduct a program crossroads!
and merry quips, but she lea- with winners after the quips and once the time of fina-
ves it to others to do the real were over. le arrives, I’m in the state of Little Pink Riding Hood can
thinking, organize things, “Wither Away’’ be a one time experience or
and carry them through. She As I look behind and turn over a lifestyle for some. The key
is conscientious and always my life pages, there are seve- Later, the most memorable takeaway here is, it need not
ready to help people and has ral incidents that I have in my event was getting the Quali- be the same way. One can be
many ‘friends’ as a result, but basket, roles that I played in ty Education Award from a mindful of this pattern and be
somehow she usually gets left a consistent pattern. Helpful renowned national body for free of scripts.
out in the end. After she says Child and Rescuer (advising the school I was working for.
Hello she makes some merry nurturing parent), at the ini- I had invested time tirelessly Sunila Nambiar
quips, but that is only to pass tial stages and then ending up with a team and the school did Trainer & Facilitator
the time until she has a chan- as a victim (Sad Child). get an Award. At the Award (Behavioral Skills)
ICTA-Santigram, Changampuzhanagar PO, Kalamaserry, Kochi-682033, Phone: 0484-2555143
Neeyum Njanum - Issue 1 - Volume -1 Page -6 Website : www. ictaindia.orgYou can also read
