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Tamara Freeze
WORKPLACE JUSTICE ADVOCATES, PLC
March
May 2020
2021
The phone, the fridge and the liquor cabinet
THE DARK SIDE OF WORKING FROM HOME
Working from home during the impact on the legal profession. As we Trial lawyer blues: When you have no
pandemic undoubtedly provides us with are still weathering the viral storm, the one to impress
new opportunities for the more efficient real portrait of a “WFH lawyer” is still
practice of law, from arguing virtual emerging, and many are left to navigate Trial wins are exhilarating and the
motions in our bunny slippers to the “new normal” without a compass. We dopamine release of a “verdict high” is an
objecting at a deposition on a Zoom are the guinea pigs of this historic “mass emotionally gratifying experience that
screen. On the other hand, the lockdown” experiment without a helpful many of us are determined to replicate
tautological work-from-home (“WFH”) “WFH handbook” to give us a meaningful someday soon. The abrupt halt on trials
agenda may also lead to the development set of rules, guidance and resources. and future uncertainty of the “stay
of unhealthy habits, addiction and While we can all appreciate the at home” orders may leave many
harmful behaviors. Round-the-clock benefit and convenience of arguing a accomplished trial lawyers in a void that
access to the dating and escort apps, motion in our sweatpants from our living they will struggle to fill. For some lawyers,
appealing social media, food, alcohol, rooms, at the same time, having easy and civil trials are our raison d’etre – the reason
drugs and pornography are now all unlimited access to the apps, the fridge to exist to the point where being a “trial
competing for our attention throughout and the liquor cabinet could be destructive lawyer” becomes one’s primary identity.
the day. and, in most cases, has the potential to Taking trials away from a trial lawyer is
Other than a fleeting acknowledgment cause significant and undetected harm. similar to taking away top athletes’ ability
that working from home could be There is a growing concern that prolonged to compete at the Olympics or an actor’s
isolating and depressing, mass media and isolation due to COVID-19 and the “stay at lead role in a feature film. The acute need
bar associations rarely discuss the home” orders have created a perpetual for validation, coupled with chasing an
potential for addiction while working witching hour for our mental health, with exhilarating “high” from another source
from home, and the possible negative no end in sight. while working from home, be it drugs,
Tamara Freeze, continued
March 2021
alcohol, pornography or social media, is a Psychologists classify this as a dependency
dangerous possibility that we should all on “external validation” – a vicious cycle
be aware of. that can be exacerbated by social media,
Netflix’s “The Queen’s Gambit” is a especially when seeking repeated
highly relatable (albeit fictional) series, approval from the digital community
where an extremely successful female becomes a daily priority. Without any
chess genius, Beth Harmon, falls victim to meaningful social interaction, bar
out-of-control sexual behavior as well as association events, mixers and in-person
drug and alcohol abuse. Chess subsumed CLEs, social media has become the
her entire identity, and when she could primary source of validation and
not compete and get her “victory high” at admiration for attention addicts. From
chess tournaments, her deep isolation at obsession with “likes” on Instagram or
home in Kentucky created unfortunate Facebook to the steady stream of potential
opportunities for unhealthy habits to media platforms reveal the harrowing interested mates on Tinder, social media
develop without any coping tools or truth behind intentional design of such provides attention addicts with a
anyone to help. Her experience closely apps to develop social media addiction: temporary dopamine rush that they are
parallels our isolation in the legal such as content specifically targeting your destined to repeat. Because their self-
profession during this pandemic and interests to other visual “hooks” to keep worth is directly dependent on how other
serves as a cautionary tale to warn our you on these apps as long as possible. people perceive them, this becomes a
trial peers to avoid similar pitfalls. Social media overload became the dependency tool for attention addicts to
Addictive behaviors and unhealthy new normal during COVID-19 and a chase new “highs.” They reach for their
habits do not develop in a vacuum. They new tool for some to cope with boredom, phones immediately after they wake up to
may gradually develop during stressful isolation, low self-esteem, sometimes see if they got another Tinder match or a
situations, mutate from an existing non- becoming a substitute for human new Instagram follower. Of course, it will
harmful habit, follow an emotional interaction. Although not currently be just a matter of time until they feel
trauma, unresolved childhood issues, included as a diagnosis in the American dissatisfied again, and seek out more
the loss of a loved one or a relationship, Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and followers or “likes,” or Tinder “matches”
career failure or any other demoralizing Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to feel that they matter, both to
event that could affect anyone, from (DSM-5), “social media addiction” has the themselves and to others.
celebrities to our friends and neighbors. potential of becoming a serious concern
The recent disclosure of alcoholic Practical solutions to limit social
among legal professionals. Researchers
violence by Shea LeBouf, as well as have observed a dramatic increase in the media addiction
Jeffrey Toobin’s “Zoom incident” during use of social media in recent years. For Everything is good in moderation,
the COVID-19 pandemic are hardly instance, as of 2016, 79 percent of all even Instagram models. Social media
surprising given the circumstances. adults online used Facebook (Shannon addiction is similar to drug addiction –
Greenwood, Andrew Perrin, and Maeve there is no bright line or loud warning
The “dopamine clicks” and social media Duggan, Pew Research Social Media siren to warn you when you are about to
Social media is a powerful, unslayable Update 2016, Pew Research Center, go over the cliff. (New Study Suggests
beast that does not eat or sleep. November 2016). Excessive Social Media Use Is Comparable To
It pervades our lives in multiple forms, be The American Bar Association has Drug Addiction, Jena Hilliard, September
it Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tinder warned that “psychological factors 4, 2019). When you wake up and the first
and the like. While drug and alcohol associated with social media addiction thing you do is to reach for your phone
addiction may be easier to detect, include high stress, low empathic to see what’s happening on Facebook,
addiction to social media is a lot less concern, low self-esteem, low levels of Instagram, Tinder or any other app, it
obvious, but could be just as disruptive. conscientiousness, and increased might be time to slow things down and
In a way, the cards are heavily stacked depressive symptoms.” (Social Media, engage in some self-evaluation.
against the “WFH lawyer,” who could Mental Health, and Lawyers’ Well-Being, When you spend hours on social
easily browse his or her Instagram during Krista Howard, Merab Gomez, Stephanie media daily, you may have reached a
a Zoom deposition and scroll for hours Dailey, and Natalie Ceballos, December 1, point where it may be time to turn things
during the day, unable to “unplug.” In 2019.) around. When social media becomes your
the new Netflix documentary “The Social Social media addiction is even more ongoing daily “escape,” be it from your
Dilemma,” former employees of dangerous for lawyers who attach their pandemic reality, your family, your
Facebook, Instagram and other social self-worth to the approval of others. own negative feelings of loneliness orTamara Freeze, continued
March 2021
boredom, especially when your practice of life, and safety. (https://www.healthline. legal profession to meaningfully address.
law has been your primary source of com/health/addiction/sex) This is truly unfortunate. Avoiding
validation, beware. Unlike drugs and alcohol, the mental discussions of this important subject
These may likely be all too familiar harm of porn or sex addiction is not does a disservice to our colleagues,
signs of addictive, maladaptive behavior. immediately obvious. Resultantly, especially during these trying times of
Solutions might include time limits on addiction to pornography is perhaps the COVID-19. The legal community needs
social media, pausing or deleting certain fastest-growing non-substance addiction to address, acknowledge and provide
apps, and unfollowing certain accounts in the United States and around the world. resources to lawyers who may need help
that suck up most of your time. Another (https://oconnorpg.com/pornography- with these potentially harmful addictive
way to help curb the potential for social addiction-signs-symptoms) Internet behaviors.
media addiction is to adjust notification pornography has become so widespread
settings on your devices in order to limit because its ease of access makes regular Psychology behind Tinder’s Skinner box
excessive exposure to social media consumption easily habit-forming. The Online dating sites like Match.com,
stimuli. Some social media sources allow COVID-19 pandemic has only caused eHarmony, Zoosk, and OkCupid are
you to manage settings that allow you to internet pornography to become even widely used, especially by millennials.
see certain social media posts first, or to more popular as a maladaptive coping However, like with social media, the
only see posts from “close friends.” It is mechanism. According to PornHub’s own algorithm behind these apps has a
important to accurately assess your time data, its web traffic increased as much as serious potential dark side. Remember
spent on these apps, as most users grossly 25% in March 2020 over the year before, the Skinner box experiment from your
underestimate how much time they making it one of the top 10 most visited college psychology class?
spend on social media. [Google, for websites in the United States (https://www. In his experiment with lab mice,
example, has taken this into account by nature.com/articles/s41443-020-00380-w) scientist B.F. Skinner studied the variable
creating a “Digital Wellbeing” app which While many frequent users may reward system and its effect on the brain.
helps users determine how much time discount their dependence on Skinner observed that lab mice
they spend using certain apps on their pornography as simply a harmless responded most voraciously to random
phone.] pastime or a quick way to relieve stress or reward schedules. The mice would press
boredom (which can be understandable a lever and sometimes they would get a
Addictions to sex and pornography during this seemingly never-ending small treat, other times a large treat, and
Given how easy it is to access digital quarantine), danger lies when this habit other times nothing at all. Research by
pornography and dating apps like Tinder, begins to gradually interfere with one’s Psychology Today revealed that Tinder
mental health professionals are reporting personal relationships, professional tasks uses almost exactly the same type of
an alarming increase in sex addiction in or family life. This addiction can also lead algorithm to hook its users – similar to
society. The number of people in the to embarrassing and career-ending casino slot machines, players do not
United States living with sex addiction is consequences, as in the unfortunate case know when, while pulling a lever or
currently estimated at 12-30 million. of Jeffrey Toobin’s “Zoom incident,” when pressing a button, they will hit a jackpot.
Both men and women can be affected, he unwittingly exposed himself during Tinder, as it turns out, was able to
though scant research exists on female sex a Zoom call in front of numerous successfully re-create a digital version
addiction. Ten percent of men and seven colleagues. of the Skinner box to elicit addictive
percent of women report having Unfortunately, the California State responses: Since users do not know who
significant levels of stress and dysfunction Bar’s Lawyer Assistance Program may accept a match and how they could
because of their sexual thoughts or (“LAP”) website is remarkably silent on respond, the unpredictable variability of
behaviors. (https://www.nbcnews.com/ the topic of sex and pornography this reward system is at the core of the
health/health-news/sex-addiction-may- addiction. There are no resources on the app’s design.
affect-10-percent-men-survey-finds- LAP website which address or recognize According to a Psychology Today
n934456). This would potentially make sex addiction as a possible problem for study, “interacting with Tinder long
compulsive sexual behavior problems lawyers. We have yet to see any enough changes the brain’s response to
more common than major depression, continuing education on this subject by it. Neurobiological models have
which is believed to affect five percent of the State Bar or any local bar suggested that the algorithm of reward
people. (Ibid.) Like drug or alcohol association. Sex and pornography learning is associated with dopamine. . .
dependence, sex addiction has the addiction seems less important, or at and over time, the user may begin to
potential to materially and negatively least less well-addressed, than traditional experience a reward response simply
impact a person’s physical and mental drug and alcohol addiction, as perhaps from the notification.” (https://www.
health, personal relationships, quality of the topic is viewed as too racy for the psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-Tamara Freeze, continued
March 2021
service/201805/the-science-behind- But it’s not only about the quantity, there dependent on the fallacy that a “few
what-tinder-is-doing-your-brain) is also the quality of the food that we are drinks here and there won’t hurt.”
The purpose of this discussion is not ingesting that causes harm. In these There are various early warning signs
to vilify pornography or Tinder. Indeed, stressful times, people tend to crave food of alcohol abuse, with some being more
most millennials learned about sex from higher in fat and sugar, in part because obvious than others. The red flags include
adult websites and grew up with unlimited their bodies require more energy to making excuses for excessive drinking,
access to pornography and find their love function when stressed, and simple such as that it is needed to relax, to deal
interests by swiping right. It has been carbohydrates are the fastest way to get a with stress, to “feel normal,” to feel
normalized for millennials to look for quick hit. (Harvard Mental Health Letter, confident and drinking to feel better and
dates on “hookup” apps like Tinder, 2018.) Taking that into consideration, fill a void – all these rationalizations are
Bumble or Hinge and to engage in risky emotional eating can lead to regret, risk factors that we are becoming more
sexual behaviors for personal validation physical discomfort, and weight gain, as susceptible to during this seemingly
and boost their self-esteem. While this has the original stressors remain, perpetual and certainly isolating
become a “new normal” for many lawyers, independent of our eating behavior. pandemic. Individuals with a history of
that does not necessarily mean that such Coping mechanisms might include emotional or other psychological trauma
behaviors are harmless. Curiously, social recognizing triggers for emotional eating, are at increased risk of alcohol use
isolation caused by the pandemic and making conscious choices about your food disorder.
working from home has dramatically intake, getting support from friends, Lawyers, unfortunately, are even
increased the use of “hookup” apps and family and mental health professionals, more at risk for alcohol abuse. Statistics
increased traffic to pornographic web and better educating oneself on the topic. do not lie: In a study commissioned by
sites – a starting point for addiction the American Bar Association (ABA), in
to sex and pornography.
Home office “happy hours” collaboration with the Hazelden Betty
A bottle of whiskey next to your Ford Foundation, 20.6% of licensed,
“Emotional eating” during the home office keyboard may not look like employed attorneys showed signs of
pandemic a serious threat. However, some studies problematic drinking, compared to just
The “stay at home” order has reveal a rapid growth in “WUIs” – 11.8% of the total workforce with the
effectively placed all of us on an indefinite Working Under Influence, during the same level of educational attainment.
house arrest, and this has profoundly COVID-19 pandemic. About one in three (https://www.alcoholrehabguide.org/
affected the population’s lifestyle and Americans are drinking alcohol while resources/alcohol-abuse-lawyers-legal-
eating habits. One study of eating habits working from home during the current professionals/). Fortunately, our State
conducted during the COVID-19 COVID-19 lockdown according to a new Bar LAP’s program offers confidential
lockdown in Italy revealed that almost study published on the website Alcohol. counseling and other programs to assist
half of the respondents felt anxious due org. (Happy Hours: More People Drinking lawyers with this type of addiction. In
to their lockdown eating habits, this While Working from Home During addition, “The Other Bar,” a network of
anxiety being linked to the increased COVID-19, Tony Hicks, April 13, 2020.) recovering lawyers, law students and
consumption of comfort food and Cabin fever, coupled with the moving judges throughout the state, provides
increased food intake due to stress and target of “stay at home” orders, are workshops, counseling opportunities and
isolation. (Psychological Aspects and Eating causing Americans to stockpile alcohol other assistance to lawyers struggling with
Habits during COVID-19 Home Confinement: and pour themselves increasing alcohol addiction. (https://otherbar.org/)
Results of EHLC-COVID-19 Italian Online numbers of drinks in between their
Survey, US National Library of Medicine, Zoom meetings. Unhealthy relationships
July 19, 2020.) The study explained that Isolation and easy access to alcohol Finally, some lawyers may have found
the COVID-19 lockdown has caused during work hours should be a cause for themselves in toxic relationships, which
“emotional eating” – a drive to eat as a alarm. The transition from habitual have come to cause more harm than
reaction to negative feelings or stress, drinker to alcoholic is similar to drowning good. This year may be the best time to
with females displaying a higher state of – unless someone is closely watching, it make an affirmative decision to find a way
anxiety-related eating compared to males. has the potential to be a silent and out. Especially if your relationship has
Another global study revealed that undetected demise. In most cases, even suffered from serious pre-existing
the pandemic has caused our population close friends and family cannot exactly conditions, the COVID-19 pandemic may
to consume more junk food during the pinpoint the time and date that a habitual be the impetus for a final rupture of the
quarantine. Either way, the alluring drinker they knew became hopelessly unhealthy relationship.
temptation of a well-stocked refrigerator alcoholic. The slow descent into The California stay-at-home order,
while working from home is hard to deny. alcoholism is an incremental process intended to protect public health andTamara Freeze, continued
March 2021
prevent widespread infection, has have one life to live. If you have given the to someone, you may find a mental health
effectively trapped many men and women relationship your best shot and you are professional online via Heal app or via
in unhealthy or even abusive situations. still experiencing feelings of unhappiness www.betterhealth.com. There are many
Some lawyers may stay in abusive or toxic and unfulfillment, you may consider interesting podcasts on addiction,
relationships out of fear of isolation and making an important life-changing navigating mental health issues and
loneliness, or because of low self-worth. decision this year to pursue a healthier, difficult relationships, such as Sex, Love
Other lawyers have decided to suffer better future. and Addiction with Dr. Rob or The
through their unhealthy relationships, Jordan Harbinger Show. If you are a
but have created a “deadline” to end the What’s next? Netflix fan, you may want to check out
relationship as soon as COVID-19 is If you are going through a difficult “The Truth About Alcohol” and the “The
over – however, this may prove to be a time, please do not hesitate to reach out. Social Dilemma.”
potentially dangerous solution, given that CAALA has a Wellness Committee,
the actual “end” date of the “pandemic” offering its members a number of Tamara Freeze, is a trial attorney and a
is becoming less and less certain. Some of resources, including webinars on founding partner at Workplace Justice
our colleagues have found themselves substance abuse and other similar topics. Advocates, PLC – a plaintiffs’ side all-female
trapped in oppressive living For alcohol abuse, there is The Other Bar employment law firm in Beverly Hills and
arrangements with unpleasant family – a network of recovering lawyers, law Orange County. Ms. Freeze is a graduate of
members or significant others, lacking the students and judges throughout the state, University of California Berkeley School of
financial resources to move out and dedicated to assisting others within the Law and a former BigLaw employment defense
embark upon a healthier life. If you are in legal profession who are suffering from attorney. Email: tf@workplacejustice.com.
an unhealthy relationship, please do not alcohol and substance abuse problems.
wait to get help. Remember: you only (https://otherbar.org/). If you want to talk
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