ANDREW LINES - FEBRUARY 8, 2021 - "When ritual is absent, the young ones are restless or violent, there are no real elders, and the grown-ups are ...
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“When ritual is
absent, the young
ones are restless or
violent, there are no
real elders, and the
grown-ups are
bewildered.”
Malidoma Somé
ANDREW LINES - FEBRUARY 8, 2021
“If you are parenting properly,
you’re parenting yourself out of a job.”
Michael Chabon
Pulitzer Prize-winning author
THE WEEKEND AUSTRALIAN - JULY 20-21 2019 ‘OH BABY, WHY YOUR KIDS ARE NOT RIGHT, SAYS JOHN MARSDEN’ - STEPHEN ROMEI
Questions What age are you aiming on your children leaving home? What’s the most significant change (since you were a teen) that you believe your son or daughter will be experiencing as a 14 year old?
WHAT MY PARENTS DON’T KNOW ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA IS… The world our girls are growing up in
PLAY - THEN AND NOW
FAMILY LIFE - THEN AND NOW
SOCIAL CONNECTION - THEN AND NOW
TRAMPOLINING - THEN AND NOW
PLAYGROUNDS - THEN
THE WEEKEND AUSTRALIAN - APRIL 30-MAY 1 2016 ‘KIDS ARE SPONGES FOR BAD PARENTING’ - NATASHA BITA
“We risk too little, we rescue too early,
we rave too easily, we reward too frequently.”
Tim Elmore
FAILUREPARENTING - THEN AND NOW
SUPER HEROES - THEN AND NOW
FEMALES ON VIDEO HITS - THEN AND NOW
SEXUALISATION AND PORN - THEN AND NOW
RITES OF PASSAGE
Question At what point did you feel that you transitioned from girl to woman or boy to man?
BIRTH
CHILD TO ADULT
MARRIAGE
ADULT TO ELDER
DEATH
RITES OF PASSAGE
TRANSITION POINTS TYPICALLY HONOURED AND CEREMONIALISED BY TRADITIONAL SOCIETIESTHE INVENTION OF ADOLESCENCE
CHILD ADULT
Life is about me Life is about others
Life is easy Life is difficult
I am immortal I am going to die
“When we fail to accept these truths we become a
culture of perpetual childhood"
RICHARD ROHR / STEVE BIDDULPH
SHIFTS FROM CHILD PSYCHOLOGY TO ADULT PSYCHOLOGYIf…
Vandalism
Hoon driving
Gang activity
Drink driving
Sexual activity
Suicide attempts
Extreme risk-taking
‘Schoolies’ week
DEFAULT RITESTWO ELEMENTS - RITE OF PASSAGE FRAMEWORK + CONVERSATIONS 7 STEPS OCCURRING THROUGHOUT THE YEAR
“A successful and happy adolescence entails
hundreds of conversations about what
matters, who you are and what you stand for.
Yet many (young people) are basically
abandoned by distracted parents and the
impersonal melee of large secondary
schools.”
STEVE BIDDULPH
SYDNEY MORNING HERALD, JUNE 2, 2007FOUR THEMES THROUGHOUT THE YEAR - HOW TO BE AN ADULT CONVERSATIONS IN CLASS
THE HERO’S JOURNEY JOSEPH CAMPBELL
a same gender adult mentor willing to spend time and be in regular contact (a couple of hours a month) may work on a project or new skill someone the student and the family agree upon someone who shares an interest with your child someone who is clearly the child’s elder write a letter of invitation including why you have chosen them
During The Rite Journey it is our intention to have a 3 pronged support network for the students – • parents/carers • TRJ teacher • Mentor “Young people who have a feeling of connectedness with parents, family and school have lower levels of smoking, drinking, other drug use, suicidal thinking, risky sexual behaviour and exposure to violence.” DR MICHAEL RESNICK PROFESSOR OF PAEDIATRICS, UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA
To build resilience The lesson is not what you achieved…rather what you learned about yourself Students will go through a challenge program "Failure is a better teacher than success”
"Today we live in a culture that promotes comfort, not challenges. Everything is about finding ways to escape hardship, avoid pain, and dodge duty. In the past, young people were expected to make significant contributions to society. Today, our culture expects very little from teens - not much more than staying in school and doing a few chores. A sad consequence of such low expectations is that life-changing lessons go unlearned." CHUCK NORRIS ‘DO HARD THINGS’ - BRETT AND ALEX HARRIS
How parents can help our responsibility of modelling good, strong manhood and womanhood attend ceremonies/celebrations that you’re invited to (there may be some early mornings!) have some conversations about TRJ content at home help your teenager select a mentor and support that process encourage and allow increased responsibility and all that comes with that – failure, consequence etc. Actively taking a step back – ‘intelligent neglect’!
EXPERT AUTHORS ENDORSING THE RITE JOURNEY
RITE JOURNEY RESEARCH
RESEARCH PARTNER WITH FLINDERS UNIVERSITY
THE RITE JOURNEY PARENTING PLAN CREATING INTENTIONAL GIFTS TO BUILD RESPONSIBILITY
AGE POSSIBLE GIFT RESPONSIBILITY
9 Sleeping Bag / Tent / Pocket knife Self reliant / Make school lunches
10 Watch / Alarm clock In charge of time
11 Sewing machine & kit / Clothing Choose, fix and wash own clothes
Voucher
12 Interstate Trip / Movie Vouchers Being away from home by
themselves
13 Camp Cooker, Family Cookbook Cook evening meal fortnightly
14 Bank account, $50/month, mobile Pay for toiletries, underwear, phone
phone (loaned)
15 Tool kit, personal devpt book Responsibility for own things/
relationships
THE RITE JOURNEY PARENTING PLAN
CREATING INTENTIONAL GIFTS TO BUILD RESPONSIBILITYWaking them up in the morning
Making their breakfast and packing their lunch
Filling out their paperwork
Delivering their forgotten items
Making their failure to plan your emergency
Doing all of their laundry
Emailing and calling their teachers and coaches
Meddling in their academics
RESPONSIBILITY PARENTINGTHE RELEASE @ 18
FOLLOW ‘THE RITE JOURNEY WITH ANDREW LINES’ ON FACEBOOK
WWW.THERITEJOURNEY.COM - RESOURCES - PARENTS
RECOMMENDED READING - PARENTING GIRLS
RECOMMENDED READING - RAISING BOYS
RECOMMENDED READING - RESPONSIBILITY PARENTING
Any questions re TRJ
Step 1 - Chat to your child
Step 2 - Get your child to follow it up with their TRJ
teacher-guide
Step 3 - Email the schooltheritejourney.com andrew@theritejourney.com 0432603655 @theritejourney @theritejourney @theritejourney Andrew Lines
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