Going for the good life - FAMILY PROJECT PAPER 1 Developed with & for families in South Australia - Carolyn Lockett Sarah Schulman Chris Vanstone
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FAMILY PROJECT PAPER 1 Developed with & for families in South Australia Going for the good life Carolyn Lockett Sarah Schulman Chris Vanstone THE AUSTRALIAN CENTRE FOR SOCIAL INNOVATION BOLD IDEAS. BETTER LIVES.
FOREWORD INTRODUCTION
Foreword Going for the good life
This paper is the first in a series of What you see here is a work in progress. This is a paper of stories and ideas for PART 1
reports sharing what we’re learning about Over the next few months, we’ll continue enabling all families to live towards the lives FAMILY ASPIRATION & REALITY
redesigning social services from the bottom- to collaborate with families, public and they want. We’ve met lots of families - over Family aspiration & reality 2
up and top-down. The Australian Centre community services to iterate and then 100 - of all shapes and sizes, some who say
for Social Innovation exists to identify and make real some of the ideas in this paper. they are doing well and others struggling What stresses families? 4
support people, methods, and ideas that A core value of the Centre is to be open- to get by. All of the families were different, What do families want? 6
create social change. We’re in our first year source: to be transparent in our dealings, but one similarity stood out: there’s little
Widening what families want 8
and have designed our initial programme of share our thinking and learning, welcome out there that helps families think and move
work to test a range of methods and ideas. dialogue, encourage collaboration and use forward together. PART 2
One of these methods is a ‘design + policy’ the collective intelligence of society. A core FAMILY PORTRAITS
approach to solving social problems. That principle that flows from this is iteration Governments, services, and communities Family portraits 10
means, as you’ll soon read, starting with and feedback. We therefore welcome your talk about supporting vulnerable families and
people to co-design, prototype, and scale new reflections and feedback about our methods preventing families from crisis, but don’t talk The Andrews 12
kinds of services, systems and supports. and how we’re applying these methods to about enabling families to live their versions The Brooks 14
families. We also welcome your thoughts of the good life. Over the pages that follow,
The Changs 16
We know many of our social services are on how and where we might extend this we’ll explain what enables families to move
struggling to meet the needs of people and approach to deal with other social challenges towards the good life - a set of behaviours What families think & do to thrive 18
more of the same just won’t do. This is we face. we call thriving - and introduce some
PART 3
particularly true of the services that support opportunities for making thriving a reality for
FAMILY OPPORTUNITY
families. We chose families as our first We look forward to continuing to share what all families.
content area because of the critical role we’re learning along the way. Thinking ‘organisation’: Opportunities 20
families play in our personal and social well- We wrote this document for families, and for 1 Family leaders & leadership 22
being and the high cost and ineffectiveness of Brenton Caffin, CEO everyone who works with and for families
waiting until families are in crisis to support to improve education, health, and broader
2 Family team & culture 26
them. The South Australian public and social outcomes. This document is not the 3 Family alliances & links
community sectors have been very willing, end product, but a point-in-time snapshot of
Family & family services 30
engaged, and constructive partners in this what we have learned thus far. We’ll continue
process and we are grateful for their support. to learn, try, and revise the early ideas shared Family & school 34
here until we co-develop solutions that work. Family & work 35
Why should you care 36
APPENDIX
How we got here 38
Reflections 42
International examples 44
Glossary 48
Credits 49
1 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE
PART 1
Family aspiration & reality
Our project starting point Our family starting point
This project began with families’ aspirations “Could we talk to you about cutting family
and realities, rather than with the public or stress?” This is the question we used to
social sector’s aspirations and realities. We start a conversation with families in South
believe if government and social services Australia about what got in the way of living
want to further education, health, and their version of the good life. Our goal was to
broader social outcomes, they must do so learn how families, neighbourhoods, schools,
by shaping and enabling what families want work, services, and government could help
and value. What government, social services, families live towards the lives they wanted.
and families want and value does not always
radically differ. What often differs is the We asked our question outside the
priority families place on particular outcomes supermarket, in the mall, in the school
and values over time. We believe we must playground, in people’s homes, and at
start with families’ priorities and motivations the neighbourhood house. Some parents
if we are to collectively pursue good societies unloaded what was stressing them right then
and good lives. and there. One mum promptly broke down in
tears. Another household told us we should,
“Fuck off and get a real job!” But, the most
common response was a spontaneous burst
of laughter at the thought we could reduce
family stress.
Who we met
Over the past couple of months we’ve met
over 100 families and gotten to know 35.
We’ve watched life play out over the 250
hours we’ve spent in their homes, eating
1 2 takeaway, drinking at the pub, singing at the
playgroup, and eating kangaroo tails out in
3 4
the bush. Each family was different. Some
5 6 had 1 kid, 2 kids, 3 kids, 4 kids, 5 kids, 10 kids,
even 13 kids. Some were aboriginal families;
7 8 some were new arrival families. Some were
brand new families; some were families with
1 Writing family mottos over dinner adult children. Some were nuclear families;
2 Sarah briefing our youth reporter some were blended families; and some were
3 Spending time with families at home
4 Making family videos extended families. Some families defied
5 Carolyn discussing strengths with children categorisation all together.
6 Eating kangaroo tail in Port Augusta
7 Ethnography at the supermarket
8 Bringing families together at the Family Festival
2 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 3 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE
PART 1 FAMILY ASPIRATIONS & REALITIES
What stresses families?
FAMILIES WE MET
All of the families we met talked about stress: energy to see friends, take up opportunities,
stress from the past, stress in the present, or do something for self and not just family. in & out of crisis getting by doing well
and stress about the future. We quickly Other times, connections weren’t the source
realised that stress is an inevitable part of of stress but a source of strength.
family life. No wonder we’d been laughed
at. Moving towards what you wanted wasn’t Families didn’t always fit neatly in one of
about getting rid of stress but about balancing these three groups. The more we got to know
the types and levels of stress. whole families, the more we saw the variation
within families. We spent time with families
Some of the families we met lived in and out where mum was doing well, with strong
of crisis, far from what they wanted. These social connections pulling her forward, but
were the families facing acute day-to-day where her partner and children were just
stress, day in and day out; stress from debts, getting by, stuck with few social connections.
sick children, cramped homes, relationships,
addictions, and prior trauma. You could call We also spent time with families where
this coping stress. Often, coping stress was nearly everyone was doing well, but where
compounded by isolation stress; the stress one member cycled in and out of crisis,
that comes from feeling disconnected and unable to look ahead. We think of this
not knowing where to turn to for support or variation as an opportunity: an opportunity
friendship. to use and more evenly spread the natural Socioeconomic status of family Low Med High
human resources within the family.
Most of the families we met were getting
by. These families also dealt with coping
stress, but it was more chronic than acute,
FAMILY STRESS LEVELS
consistently present rather than spiking up
and down. These families tended to have high coping stress high investment stress
some connections and supports to make the high isolation stress
day-to-day just bearable.
Then, there were the families we met who
told us they were doing well. Yet they too
battled some stress; the underlying stress steady stress
that comes from worrying about the future,
from trying to look ahead and figure out
how to make good stuff happen for the
whole family. You could call this investment
stress. Sometimes, investment stress was in & out of crisis getting by doing well
compounded by connection stress; the stress
that comes from not having the time or
4 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 5 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE
PART 1: FAMILY ASPIRATIONS & REALITIES
What do families want?
We found that the kinds of stress families
experienced shaped what they wanted for We’d like less bad things We’re not sure what could We want more good things
themselves as individuals and as a whole. be different in the future
Families getting by, like the Brook family Families doing well, like the Chang family
Families cycling in and out crisis, like
on page 14, weren’t really sure what on page 16, wanted their lives to move in a
the Andrews family on page 12, wanted
could be different. They talked about life forward direction, together. The direction
things to improve. They wanted kids to
becoming easier - shorter commutes to varied from family to family. Some families
stop fighting, bigger houses and working
school or work, partners at home more were orientated around achievement:
cars. Those immersed in welfare services
and families spending more time together. around learning, studying, and attaining
wanted freedom from those services.
Things weren’t obviously bad for these meaningful jobs. Other families were
These families talked a lot about good
families but they weren’t likely to improve orientated around relationships: around
living as the absence of bad stuff, but often
either. These families were stuck in a kind strong family ties and community identity.
weren’t sure how to get there or what to do
of stasis. Still other families were orientated around
once they got there. Ted, a father we met,
independence and agency: around self-
didn’t know how he would stop his kids
reliance and active exploration.
from fighting, and struggled to describe
what a better future would be beyond no
more fighting.
6 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 7 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE
PART 1: FAMILY ASPIRATIONS & REALITIES
Widening what families want
WHAT’S YOUR FAMILY MOTTO?
A key insight for us was not to assume that One of the things that stood out between
all families share the same end goals or families in crisis, families getting by, and
outcomes - and instead to recognise that families doing well was the scope of what
families will weight outcomes like education, they wanted. Families doing well could
community engagement, and health name things that were beyond their day-to-
differently. We had to embrace families’ day experience, whilst families in crisis or
different versions of the good life - this is getting by often didn’t know what existed
what motivated them - and then understand outside of their day-to-day experience. Even
how that linked to government’s stated those families doing well could only name
outcomes. things that they had seen or heard from other
families. None of us know what we haven’t
The aboriginal families we met talked a directly observed or experienced.
lot about the meaning they derived from
community connectedness. The new arrival Ted, the dad who wants his kids to stop
families we met talked more about the value fighting, grew up in a house pretty much the
of good education and meaningful jobs. same as the one he now runs. A few years
back he took a trip to Malaysia and really
Just because families put more focus on one liked how families ate around the dinner
set of outcomes over another doesn’t mean table. He decided to try that when he returned
that will always be the case. What families home. But, without the exposure, he probably
want changes over time as family members wouldn’t have identified ‘dinner at the table’ WHAT’S YOUR 5YR PLAN?
grow and circumstances shift. as something his family could do together.
What stories like this tell us is the importance
The families we met who were doing well of providing families with different
didn’t have a singular end goal, but a common experiences and models for family living.
direction or emphasis that helped cut through
some of the day-to-day stress and make the
daily grind seem a little more worth it.
We asked families “If your family was a business what
would be your motto and what would be your 5 year plan?
The extracts show the diversity of what family culutres
and wants.
8 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 9 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE
PART 2
Family portraits
Our findings and insights come from the
families we met. We took an ethnographic
approach, which meant spending time
with families in the morning, at night, and
on weekends in their houses and as they
interacted with schools and services. You
can read more about our methodology in the
Appendix, ‘How we got here’ on page 38.
Our work was only possible because of the
families in Marion and Port Augusta who
gave up their time, invited us into their homes
to eat at their table, and shared with us their
personal stories. Over the following pages,
we’ll introduce you to three of the families we
met:
The Andrews A family in & out of ‘crisis’
The Brooks A family ‘getting by’ The Andrews The Brooks The Changs
The Changs A family ‘doing well’ Nigel, Sarah, Mary & Robert Annie, Jordan, Mia & Sophie Elise, Tony & Amalie
Names, personal details, and identifiable Nigel lives with his twin daughters and Annie’s proud of her kids: they don’t do Elise and her family moved to Australia
anecdotes have been changed to respect the son. He describes life as “pushing shit too bad in school and they each have their from China to invest in a better future for
confidentiality of the families. uphill”. He struggles with his daughters’ own interests. They keep her busy, but their family. They see a bright future ahead
disruptive behaviour, and with health and things are going OK for the moment. She and don’t mind working hard and scraping
child protection services. More than any- left a violent relationship not too long back, by now to get there.
thing he’d like his kids to stop yelling and though still sees her ex most weeks.
get along.
10 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 11 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE
PART 2: FAMILY PORTRAITS
The Andrews
Nigel, Sarah, Mary & Robert
Nigel lives in a three bedroom house with Robert is very quiet. He doesn’t have many
his twin daughters, Sarah and Mary, age 12, friends at school, has never been to a
and his son Robert, age 7. Pam, the children’s friend’s house, and rarely talks to his father
mother, and Nigel are no longer together or sisters. The school has raised concerns,
because of Pam’s gambling problem that for but Nigel feels “it’s just him”. On several
years left the family without money and often occasions Robert has gone missing from
without food. school and been found by police wandering
the streets. He talks about “being bored” and
Now that Pam is no longer around, Nigel “just wanting some adventure”.
finds there is lots to do to keep the house
running. Not long ago, the washing machine
broke down. He relies on benefits to make
“It’s like pushing shit uphill”
ends meet, and resorts to the anti-poverty
Nigel and the kids keep to themselves; there
support service when unplanned things like
is an occasional visit by an aunt or uncle but
the washing machine pop up. Nigel used to
no regular contact with any extended family
work as a gardener, but hurt his back on the
or neighbours. The family usually spend their
job about 10 years back; he hasn’t returned
weekends in front of the TV, or the children
to work since. For a few years after, Nigel
might play a board game (Monopoly is a
kept up with his work mates, but doesn’t any
favourite) unless they misbehave and are
longer. He spends most of his time playing
not allowed out of their rooms. Birthdays
Halo on his X box at home. He’s such a
are special days when the family leaves the
regular that other players always comment
house and heads to Hungry Jacks. Week
when he’s not logged on.
days, though, everyone tends to “eat what
they can get”.
Sarah and Mary have been diagnosed with
ADHD and take medication to help with some
of the symptoms. Nigel struggles to manage
their behaviour, often resorting to keeping
them in their bedroom for hours at a time.
He’s gotten better at ignoring their yelling.
Nigel attempted to make an appointment with
Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service,
however he was advised that there was a
6-month waiting list so he didn’t bother. Nigel
describes life as “pushing shit uphill”.
12 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 13 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE
PART 2: FAMILY PORTRAITS
The Brooks
Annie, Jordan, Mia, Sophie
Annie is a 40-year old single mother of When the kids are in childcare and school,
three. She has a son named Jordan, age 16, Annie tries to keep the house in order. With
a daughter named Mia, age 8, and Sophie, three kids, though, there is a lot of stuff and
age 3. Annie and her children moved to the often as many as six loads of laundry a week.
Southern area of Adelaide about a year and a Sometimes, she takes a bit of time for herself,
half ago. They like their two bedroom house, taking up an invite to the pub or the odd drop
but wish that Housing SA would let them in by her ex, Matthew. She looks forward
paint the walls purple. Before that they were to breaking up the normal routine, and it’s
residing in a Women’s Domestic Violence nice to have a beer or two. Whilst doing the
Shelter, due to ongoing violence between ironing or folding the kids clothes, Annie quite
Annie and her ex-partner, Matthew. enjoys some daytime television, particularly
Dr. Phil. She likes giving relationship advice
herself. Her best friend, Hayley, only lives
“Things are OK for now” five minutes away so often she keeps Annie
company at the pub or at home with Dr. Phil.
Annie says they’ve lived in so many houses
When Annie’s fridge started making funny
they can’t remember them all, “But I like it
noises a few weeks ago, Hayley came by to
that way; keeps life exciting.” Most days,
help.
Annie gets up at 6:30, has a quick shower,
wakes the kids, and walks 45 minutes to the
Annie is very open in conversation about her
local primary school, unless it raining and
relationship with Matthew and how violent it
they stay home. Over the last month Annie
was. “He used to belt the shit out of me, but
has been trying very hard to get the kids
he’s all I’ve got. He’s still my best friend”.
to school everyday as Jordan was recently
Family support is an unknown for Annie as
diagnosed with dyslexia and long periods
she grew up in the foster care system and
off from school will make matters worse for
describes living in a different home every
him. Mia is an extremely gifted gymnast and
week. Matthew, a few friends at the pub, and
recently won a scholarship to compete in the
Hayley is all Annie needs. “Any more and
state under twelve’s team. Mia talks about
things seem to start to go wrong”.
wanting her family to live in their own house
and everyone finding and doing what they
When chatting about the future with Annie,
love, like being a gymnast. Annie bursts with
she finds it hard to know what to say. “Not
pride when talking about her daughter. And
really sure; things are going OK now. Maybe
despite the fact the three of them often give
a job for me, and I want Jordan to get the help
her a headache, she is extremely proud of all
he needs. I also still kinda hope that Matthew
of them.
gets counseling so we can be together again”,
14 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 15 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE
PART 2: FAMILY PORTRAITS
The Changs
Elise, Tony & Amalie
Elise and her husband, Tony, recently Elise has a masters degree in physiotherapy
migrated from China with their 13-year old and gains a bit of income on the side as a web
daughter Amalie. Since they have arrived designer. But her primary income comes
in Australia they have all adopted Western from working 40 hours/week at a Chinese
names as they find it easier to “fit in”. The restaurant in the city where she scrubs
family is currently here on a skilled work dishes. She doesn’t mind the work; it pays.
visa. Elise hopes to gain permanent residency Once a week she attends church so she can
and start her own physiotherapy practice clear her head and chat with good people. She
so as to pave a comfortable future for the also loves to cook, and is teaching Amalie
family. The family’s visa requirements mean how to make traditional dumplings.
that they cannot receive any government
social security support which puts a great
deal of pressure on Elise and Tony to make
“We have a bright future here”
ends meet. It can be tough some weeks,
Amalie is a committed student and has
but they always get through it and look to
started to make some friends, mostly other
what’s ahead. Elise and Tony decided to
local migrants. Last week, Amalie went to the
move to Australia to enable better education
mall for the first time with some girlfriends
and career options for their family. “There
and bought a Twilight t-shirt. Every Thursday
is so much more for our daughter to take
night, the whole family attends a supper with
advantage of here”.
the locals in the community house down
the road. They’ve managed to collect some
Tony is currently advertising himself as a
good tips as well as some used furniture
handyman and picking up some odd jobs
from people they’ve met there. “We have
in the local area. When he’s not working,
a very bright future in Australia, I think” is
Tony is busy exploring ways to advertise his
something Elise repeats often. She’s looking
business and also prioritises staying on top of
forward to having more time to explore the
the home chores. He’s enrolled in an English
country, with her family, in the future.
class and has started to meet some new
people. He wants to learn how to barbeque.
16 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 17 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEPART 2: FAMILY PORTRAITS
What families think & do to thrive
Comparing Elise and Tony’s family story sometimes play boardgames, but they don’t
with Annie and Nigel’s family stories helped do much else as a whole family.
us identify what families think and do to
live life in the direction they want. Elise and Strategic versus Reactive decision making
Tony aren’t financially well off; they scrub Where Elise and Tony weigh decisions
dishes and do odd jobs to make ends meet, against their end goals around education
but they - like the other families we met who and achievement, Nigel and Annie weigh
are doing well - operate in ways that seem decisions against their day-to-day stress.
to create some forward momentum. Indeed, Decisions which add stress, even those which
families doing well had different forward might be advantageous in the long-term, are Thriving behaviours & mindsets
directions, but shared similar mindsets (i.e. quickly ruled out. Nigel and Annie also don’t
ways of thinking) and behaviours (i.e. ways of have full decision-making control. Often,
doing). We’re calling these ways of thinking coping families are responding to decisions
and doing, thriving. Thriving is what helps that have been made for them by institutions
Self development Self preservation
families move towards what they want, even or services.
as what they want changes over time. Trying what’s different Doing what’s familiar
Positive feedback versus Negative feedback
Self-development versus Self-preservation Thriving families use their family’s forward Strategic decision-making Reactive decision-making
In thriving families, individuals invest in direction as a motivator; to inspire, model,
self and in family. Individuals are able to and celebrate positive behaviour. Coping Positive feedback Negative feedback
take some time for themselves, to relax, families, on the other hand, focus more on
expand their interests, and cultivate their discipline and deviant behaviour, recognising Brokering family to outside Insulating family from outside
own identity. Tony takes an English course; individuals only when they’ve done something
Elise goes to church. This stands in contrast wrong.
to coping families where individuals tend to Coping behaviours & mindsets
focus on self preservation. Individuals may Brokering versus Insulating
cut themselves off from friends or put their Coping takes a lot of human resource. One of
own interests and needs on the back burner the mums we met takes a nap during the day
to keep their family intact. Nigel no longer to prepare for her 7 kids return home from
keeps up with his mates from work because school. She doesn’t have the connections or
it’s easier that way. the energy to broker new kinds of relationships
and experiences for herself, let alone for her
Trying what’s different versus children. Instead her focus is protecting her
Doing what’s familiar family - from all the things outside the house
Thriving families are constantly looking at that might go wrong and from re-engaging
what they can add to their day-to-day routine- with welfare services. That’s in contrast to
new kinds of experiences and interactions- thriving families who see external connections
while coping families tend to stick to what as an asset, and actively seek out different
they know. Nigel and his family watch TV or experiences and opportunities.
18 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 19 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEPART 3
Family as organisation: Opportunities
Talking with families about family proved a 1 Family leaders & leadership
challenge. There’s little common language At the core of family are one or more family
that captures the complexities of family and, leaders, usually adults or parents and 1 Family leaders
as a result, family doesn’t often come up as sometimes older children, who provide
& leadership
a topic of conversation. Given families are a leadership to the family based on their own
type of organisation, we experimented with experiences and values. Family leadership
borrowing words and concepts from the is about direction setting for self and family,
world of organisations. It worked. We found and inspiring the family team forward.
we could talk to families about the different The opportunity is to motivate and enable
roles & responsibilities in their family, their 5 emerging and existing family leaders to
year plan, and their family motto. develop the skills, capacities, and style of
leadership that work for them and their
Thinking ‘organisation’ helped us identify family.
what shapes family thriving behaviours and
mindsets. We think enabling more families
to live their version of the good life means 2 Family team & culture
working with familiy leaders, with the family Family culture is about shared experiences,
team, and building family alliances. routines, rewards, and celebrations. The
opportunity is to motivate and enable families
The opportunities are based on what we to develop a family culture of learning and 2 Family team
know families are attracted to, but are yet exploring through whole family and individual
to be tested and further developed with experiences. This will mean making use of & culture
families themselves. That is the next stage resource and ingenuity inside the family,
of our project. At this point, the opportunities learning from other families, and connecting
describe broad areas where we think we to developmental experiences provided by
can make a difference. These ideas will be organisations outside of the home.
built upon and refined during co-design, services school
where we’ll work with families to generate 3 Family alliances & links
and try out (i.e. prototype) solutions that are Family alliances are the relationships
both appealing and enabling. We’ll measure families have with institutions like school,
success by how well we help families to talk work, and services. The opportunity is to work
about and move towards what they want. motivate and enable schools, work, and
services to adopt ways of working with
families that develop and recognise thriving
behaviours.
3 Family alliances
& links
20 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 21 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEPART 3: FAMILY OPPORTUNITY
1 Family leaders & leadership
Opportunity: Motivate and enable emerging What might the solution look and feel like?
and existing family leaders to develop the We know that the stereotypical corporate
skills, capacities, and style of leadership that leadership course delivered in an office by
works for them and their family. a man in a suit won’t work for most of the
families we met. Instead, we think learning
should be facilitated by people families feel
are a bit like them. We also think learning
needs to be experience- based rather than
talk-based, with some of it taking place in
the home, in other people’s homes, and in
unfamiliar contexts like a forest or beach.
Learning may happen one-to-one, with whole
families, or between families.
What do families want? Learning leadership starts with learning
Out of our 50 idea cards we shared with about self. Self-development experiences for
families, two of the most popular were family leaders would expose them to new
‘Family future planning service’ and ‘Life kinds of people, places, and alternative ways
coach’. Mum Summer was attracted to of doing things. Leaders would be supported
the ‘Family future planning service‘ card. to introduce new leadership into the family
Summer knows what she wants to put her life and to continually improve and adapt their
in order - a house and a good environment leadership as their family context changes.
for herself and her kids - but she “just hasn’t
got a fucking clue how to get there”. Mum
Chelsea knows she wants something better,
but doesn’t know what. She was drawn to
the ‘Life coach’ card as she thought coaching
could help her find an alternative path for
her and her family. Other family leaders, like
Ted, struggled to move towards the good life
because they had never experienced that kind
of life. He wasn’t drawn to the ‘Life coach’ or
‘Family future planning service’ cards but
we think he would engage with leadership
development if he saw the link with his boys’
behaviour, and if it gave him resource to
invest in himself.
After a lot of discussion one family picks out their
favourite idea cards
22 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 23 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEHow is this different? What approaches could we learn from? WE THINK DEVELOPING LEADERS & LEADERSHIP STARTS WITH....
Most of the existing family support services One organisation that has a track record of
we shadowed focused on the relationship working with young people, families and
between child and parent, rather than on the business to develop leadership is Australian
wider family. We went along to parenting based Outward Bound. Outward Bound use a
classes and playgroups, but found they only one-off nine day ‘outdoor adventure’ to boost family leaders
emphasised parents’ identity as a mother or new leaders confidence and self-awareness,
father. These groups and classes didn’t touch and encourage new levels of responsibility.
on parents’ core sense of self that existed The adventure is run by trained facilitators
before and will exist after children move on who have often been through the programme
from the family home. We think that alongside themselves. Participants pay to take part and
focusing on adults as parents and leaders, the higher fees paid by business are used
we need to focus on adults as individuals. to reduce the cost for families and NGOs.
NEW EXPERIENCES FOR LEADERS
We also think that family leadership should Outward Bound is just one of the 1,000’s of
not be restricted to parents but extend to leadership development programmes out
all adults and older children in the home, there; the challenge is finding what works for feedback
particularly in larger families. It’s about families over time, and not just at one point on personal
balancing and distributing leadership. in time.
coaching experiencing performance
personal
What research could we learn from? transformational
Surprisingly there is little research on development
services leadership
developing family leadership in the dominant
social work literature; the richer sources
of concepts and evidence are in the youth
development and organisational development
literature. A concept we’ve already found to be ADOPTING NEW BEHAVIOURS & MINDSET
useful is the difference between transactional
and transformational leadership.
Transactional leaders use command and trying what’s different investing in self
control - it’s the kind of leadership we saw
in families where parents expected children motivating others with examples
to do exactly what they said and where only
‘bad’ behaviour received recognition. This giving positive feedback thinking about the future when
kind of leadership serves to maintain the to others making decisions
status quo. Transformational leaders, by
contrast, lead change by example, inspiring
and motivating others by recognising ‘good’
behaviours and benchmarks. This is the kind GOAL
of leadership we saw in families where adults
themselves had fulfilling and connected
lives. The literature in this area can help us
understand how we can enable transactional
leaders to become transformative.
transformational
leadership
24 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 25 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEPART 3: FAMILY OPPORTUNITY
2 Family team & culture
Opportunity: Motivate and enable families The families we met with learning and
to develop a family culture of learning and exploring cultures had lower levels of coping
exploring through whole family and individual stress and were more likely to be moving
experiences. towards their version of the good life. The
families we met with ‘do what you’re told’
cultures often had higher levels of coping
stress; there was a lot of shouting and
arguing. Rarely were these families moving
in the same direction towards their version
of the good life. We hung out with children
in these families and found they were ready
for more; they were eager to ask questions
and hear about our different backgrounds
What do families want? when we came by for a take-away dinner.
Few family leaders we met explicitly sought We met several children who had never
to develop a family culture that was about been to a friend’s house and were missing
learning and exploring. We were surprised by out on the learning experience that being in
the number of family leaders who described different environments and around different
their children’s role as “to do what they’re value sets can provide. Children are naturally
told”. In contrast, Chelsea described her attracted to learning and exploring. We think
children’s roles in the family as “to learn, the leaders in ‘do what you’re told’ families
grow and explore”; her family motto is to would be attracted to learning and exploring
“live every day like it’s a holiday”. She does cultures too if they believed it would help
her best to turn most moments into learning change bad behaviour, reduce stress at
experiences for her three and four-year olds, home, fit within their day, and was enjoyable.
not by buying fancy things but by asking
questions. She organises scavenger hunts What might the solution look and feel like?
and pizza making nights in the home and We’re not proposing families should develop
participates in a $4 music group outside of together 24/7, but find a balance between
the home. In another family we met, Daniel, family time and individual time. In families
age 19, actively supports his three younger moving towards the good life, individuals,
siblings by saying encouraging words, particularly adults, had found this balance.
helping them out with their homework, and They embraced multiple identities: as parent,
connecting them to new things. These are partner, colleague, friend, and individual.
the sorts of behaviours he experienced from
his mum and which were further developed
at age 16 when he took part in an intensive
course outside the family to help him manage
Thinking ‘organisation’ proved to be an effective and now
his anger and get back on track. stigmatising way to engage families in a conversation
about family culture.
26 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 27 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEThe ‘do what you’re told’ families we met We tried out this many-to-many, person-to- WE THINK DEVELOPING TEAM & CULTURE STARTS WITH....
weren’t against learning and exploring, person approach when we ran a free family
they just had never experienced learning festival for 100 families one Sunday. At the
and exploring for themselves nor were they festival, we set-up 10 tents of developmental
aware of the potential benefits to self and to experiences; families could make music,
family. kites, wind-chimes, cartoons, and coffee with
real music makers, kite-makers, handymen,
We think a solution would set the family cartoonists, and barristas. Some of the
team on their own learning journey to find experiences worked really well - and brought
the family team
(including leaders & extended family)
the time, space, people, places, routines, the whole family together - but at most tents,
and experiences that would work for them. the kids dived in and the adults hung out
Whilst there are many developmental on the periphery. We learned that creating
experiences individuals can connect with new kinds of whole family experiences
NEW EXPERIENCES FOR TEAM & INDIVIDUALS
outside of the home, there are few out-of- is not enough - we need to help families learning
home experiences for whole families and few break regular norms and incorporate new at home
opportunities for families to integrate new experiences back into their homes. sport
routines back into the home. We think the individual
opportunity here is to come up with new ways What approaches and research could we measuring
at others whole family out of home faith
for family to do family learning. We imagine learn from...
homes & feedback
families could identify, share, and adopt Our search for concrete examples led us experiences experiences
on current
learning and exploring behaviours through: to cultural change programmes within social
whole family experiences at home or with organisations. In the corporate sector, with other
culture
other families; using tools that give visual cultural change often starts with feedback. families community
feedback on family culture and out-of-home One feedback tool we like is the Lifestyles
experiences for individuals in the family. Inventory Tool, which is used by lots of
organisations internationally. The tool gathers ADOPTING NEW BEHAVIOURS, MINDSETS & RITUALS
What’s different? information through regular surveys of team
The family services we saw rarely worked members to give leaders a visual picture turning everyday experiences
with the whole family or shaped the dynamic of their organisational culture. Cultures into learning opportunities planning & reflecting
between all family team members. They are described as constructive, aggressive
tended to engage individuals in therapy or or defensive. The survey is completed asking questions
make referrals to therapy. Interactions were annually to track the changing shape of the learning from mistakes
largely 1:1 and person-to-professional; they culture. Between survey periods, trained
celebrating resourcefulness
were talk-based and explored the past. We coaches work with individuals and teams
think there’s scope for an approach that to ‘workshop’ through challenges. The
achievements
is many-to-many and person-to-person; organisations that show the most significant
that’s experience-based and explores the progress in their culture are recognised
future. One mum, Tess, told us that, “Once in the annual ‘culture transformation GOAL
someone gets paid for helping it makes it achievement awards’.1 We can imagine
less personal”. Families, like Tess’ family, applying these principles and a vastly
who were doing well were connected to other simplified measurement tool to families to get
families and were learning to take action a picture of what their culture is now, how it
towards what they wanted, and not just away changes over time, and to learn what makes a developmental
from what they didn’t want. It’s an approach difference over time. family culture
without assessments, expert analysis, or
categorisation. 1 Cooke, Robert and Clayton Lafferty. “Culture
Transformation Achievement Awards: Compilation of
Executive Summaries from Awardees 2006-2008. Human
Synergistics International, 2008.
28 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 29 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEPART 3: FAMILY OPPORTUNITY: 3 ALLIANCES & LINKS
Family & family services
Motivate and enable services, schools and The professional-family power imbalance
work to adopt ways of working with families was greatest, and perhaps most damaging,
and parents that support the development of between families in crisis and the child
thriving behaviours. protection system. We saw how in
implementing measures to protect the child,
What do families want? services had unintentionally eroded parents’
Before we talked ideas with families, we sense of self and control, reducing the
talked stress. We laid out cards, on the likelihood of the family envisioning, let alone
table or floor, that described 25 different getting on, the path to their good life.
sources of stress - from finance, to health,
to grandparents. The most popular cards We think interventions for families in crisis
related to institutions outside of the family: would have better outcomes if they were
work, school and, for the small but significant family thriving interventions; interventions
number of families who were in touch with that defined success as families with thriving
them, the child protection system. Families behaviours, rather than just as children out of
often felt done-to by these institutions and immediate danger. We see safety as core to
found themselves having to comply to a set of the good life but safety alone is insufficient to
external rules and standards that constrained move families beyond crisis.
their sense of agency and control. These
institutional relationships worked to both We think even where children have been
parties disadvantage. They weren’t creating removed, services should seek to work with
shared value as a good alliance would. the family to enable thriving behaviours, both
increasing the likelihood of children returning
What might the solution in services look and to their parents (reunification) and lowering
feel like? the likelihood of more children from the same
Ted had to fight for two years to receive family entering the system.
help for his boys’ behaviour, waiting until
they were ‘bad enough’ to qualify for some
support. Working as part of a family alliance,
services would have viewed Ted’s desire to
improve his son’s behaviour as enough to
justify support. And that support wouldn’t
have been one-size fits all, in reaction to a
diagnosis, but actually built around Ted’s
family and responsive to their goals.
One mum names her top ources of stress; learning,
work, services & money.
30 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 31 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEHow is this different? ‘do as you’re told’ culture where the cost of BEYOND RESILIENCE
We shadowed over 20 different services for making a mistake is high and the reward for
families; most took a very similar therapeutic doing well is low. And, as child protection
approach. Workers’ days were filled with workers only address the most challenging
case management duties like writing-up cases, they - like the families they support
notes, referrals, attending case meetings, - are infrequently exposed to what thriving
and preparing case plans and reports, etc. looks and feels like. We think the opportunity Resilience Thriving
There was little time to really experience is to apply some of the same thinking to Behaviours
family life. Too often, the core essence of families as to services: to focus on creating
connecting with families was lost to resource rich developmental settings, to expose Past Present Future
constraints or to a professional approach that workers to difference through new work
just didn’t fit families. How do we balance patterns and routines, and to provide positive
the responsibility of child safety and family feedback. We need thriving systems for all. failure skills goals
thriving? Can we do both at the same time? crisis experiences meaning
What can we learn from?
We think concentrating on family experiences The Family Independence Initiative in challenge resources purpose
as opposed to just referral and information Oakland, California is one example of a risk connections outlook
sharing is one step forward. At worst, the different model to family support. It starts
services we saw were about rescue. At with what families want, rather than what the
most, they were about resilience, focused on system wants. It’s all about family-to-family
bringing families to where they were before support, rather than professional-to-family
crisis but no further. Cases were opened interventions. Families recruit other families
COMPARING CHILD PROTECTION SYSTEM & THRIVING SYSTEM
at a crisis point and closed once the family and form their own social groups; a facilitator
reached a coping point and the day-to-day works with the family group to set goals and
risks to the child were mitigated. In some targets - often around financial, health, and Child protection system Thriving system
service interactions, we watched as workers education outcomes - and families assess
actively discouraged families from thinking each other against their targets in weekly
beyond the here and now. The worker’s view meetings, sharing tips and examples and Success is Reducing risk to children Increasing family thriving
was that aspirations for the future were applying friendly social pressure. Workers
unrealistic, and demonstrated a disregard are facilitators, not direct deliverers, and Resilience
for the child’s safety. We think aspiration & many are alumni of the Family Independence
Develops Resilience
& thriving behaviours
purpose motivate families to move beyond Initiative.
the past, think beyond the present, and travel Focus Parents and children All family members
towards their version of the good life. This community support approach has
precedence within the literature. Ecological
Such a radical transformation in service models of human behaviour focus on the role Entry point Mandatory at crisis Opt in pre-crisis
focus and practice won’t be achieved unless that informal systems like social networks,
accompanied by a radical transformation in natural helpers, and self-help groups play Outcomes Set by system Set by families
the internal culture of the child protection in “personal and collective satisfaction,
system. From our observations and personal emotional support, and participation in the
experience, the day-to-day professional life life of the society and culture.”1
of a worker often parallels the family life of
their clients. Child protection work is risky, 1 German, C. (1991). Human Behaviour in the Social
Environment: An Ecological View, New York: Columbia
stressful and reactive; there’s little time University Press.
to explore new ways of working. Workers
oscillate between coping and crisis. Burnout
though vicarious trauma is too regular an
occurrence. Workers can live in fear of a
32 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 33 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEPART 3: FAMILY OPPORTUNITY: 3 ALLIANCES & LINKS PART 3: FAMILY OPPORTUNITY: 3 ALLIANCES & LINKS
Family & school Family & work
So far in our work we’ve spent lots of time early childhood teachers. Participation in the What might the solution in workplaces look What approaches and research can we learn
with families and with family services. centre has motivated many parents to build and feel like? from?
We haven’t spent any time with schools their capacity to be the parents and people Employment, or unemployment, was one of Whilst there are many examples of
or employers, but both kept coming up in they want to be.1 the top stress cards picked out by families. organisations making work hours and
our conversations with families as the two In many families, ‘family time’ was the time location more flexible we didn’t find any
biggest sources of stress. Here we outline the Another approach, supported by research, and space left when work finished, even examples of jobs shaped to fit around family
opportunities families identified, and share is the Families and Schools Together though the research tells us good work-life or support to help families find jobs that
some inspirational international examples. (FAST) programme in the United States. balance has a positive effect on workplace might fit.
Families of children having a hard time at performance.1 By collaborating with families
What might the solution in schools school are invited, by parent graduates of to shape when and how work happens, One platform that is helping older people
look and feel like? the programme, to be part of FAST. They employers could have better performing staff find jobs that fit the way they want to live is
We heard how some schools viewed parents start by meeting at school, as a family, and and families could have more time to develop www.greynomadsemployment.com. The
as responsible for behaviour and met parents doing things like having a meal together together. website is aimed at older wanderers working
who viewed schools as responsible for and creating a family flag. Over the next their way across Australia. By offering
learning. When children caused disruption at few years, they meet on their own initiative The research also tells us that skilled employers a way to connect with experienced
school they were expelled only to spend time in local clusters, gradually taking on roles workers are the most likely to benefit from people looking for short term jobs it is
at home, usually in far less developmental within the programme. Evaluations show work-life balance measures. Interestingly, helping stimulate the creation of new ways
environments than school. Working as an that families which took part in FAST some of the unskilled workers we met had of working. Jobs are categorised by type
alliance would mean schools and families experienced gains in child functioning, family found a work-life balance. They often turned (contract, part-time, shared job, intermittent,
would share in the challenges and benefits cohesiveness, social connectedness, and down promotions in order to make work full-time) and by region. Many of the jobs
of facilitating active learning and positive parent involvement.2 really work for their family. Tess chooses listed offer non-monetary compensation like
behaviour. There would not be such narrow to work nights at a food factory so she can home shares or even gardens.
definitions of roles and responsibilities. 1 Munford, Robyn, et.al. 2007. “Blending whanau/ spend days with her children and has done
family development, parent support and early childhood
education programmes.” Social Policy Journal of New so for 10 years. We think the opportunity is
What approaches could we learn from? Zealand to help link families to jobs that better fit how
One approach that exemplifies creating they want to live, and to work with businesses
2 McDonald, Lynn, et.al. 1997. “Families and Schools
alliances between families and institutions Together (FAST): Integrating Community Development
and organisations on the size, shape, timing
is the Te Aroha Noa Whanau/Family and with Clinical Strategies.” Families in Society: The Journal and location of work and the compensation
Community Centre in Palmerston North, of Contemporary Human Services. for that work.
New Zealand. Rather than provide a service
that children access whilst parents are at 1 Freeman, Richard and Kathryn Shaw. 2009.
“International Differences in the Business Practices &
work, the vision of the centre is to foster Productivity of Firm”, p16.
a ‘learning community’ where adults and
children come together to learn and grow.
The role of parents has evolved and increased
since the centre’s founding. Now parents
participate in the management and delivery
of the early childhood curriculum alongside,
and on an equal footing with, the qualified
34 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFE 35 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEPART 3: FAMILY OPPORTUNITY PART 3: FAMILY OPPORTUNITY
Why should you care Appendix
We are each a product of family. Families
are our main developmental setting. Loads
of services, systems, and institutions work
around families. They work with children
or with parents to achieve safety, health,
education, and social outcomes. Yet too
often these outcomes are set for families,
not with them.
We’ve learned that unless families set o l o gi c al o u t c o m
yc h
their own outcomes and are enabled ps es
to see beyond what they have directly
experienced, they have little reason to social community
outcomes engagement
invest in something different.
Families can and do get by with a high education
safety
outcomes
stress load; high stress becomes so outcomes
normal it’s hard to fathom how things could
be different. Helping families feel ‘what employment health
could be’ is just as important as helping outcomes outcomes
families overcome ‘what has been’.
Over the weeks to follow, we’ll explore
‘what could be’ with families, and then with
schools, employers, and family services.
We’ll think through what each setting
and institution could actually do to enable
As our primary developmental setting, family directly
thriving behaviours. While we don’t yet influences our psychological well-being and impacts on a
know exactly what that will look like, we do wide range of health, education, employment, safety, and
community engagement outcomes.
know every sector has a role to play and
value to gain.
36 TACSI GOING FOR THE GOOD LIFEAPPENDIX
We’ve found this grounded approach to be
How we got here really successful: not only has it appealed to
families, but it’s facilitated a much deeper level of
engagement than interviews, surveys, or standard
assessments. While we incentivised participation
with a free takeaway dinner or some shopping
vouchers, we found that just giving people an
opportunity to tell their story, unfiltered, was a
draw card in and of itself. Whilst in the family
The first phase of our project model, called “Look”, home, we worked to engage families in different
uses ethnographic methods to understand families activities and scenarios to try and learn more
in their contexts and in their words. Over the about:
past two months we have engaged families and
services in lots of different ways to help define the — The main stressors for families and how they
concept of “thriving”. We selected a geographic coped
focus - Marion, South Australia - and met families
— The language families used in talking about
door knocking and through stalls at Coles
family stress and family wants
Supermarket and Marion Shopping Centre. When
chatting with families, we found the phrase “family — The kinds of support or networks that are
stress” resonated with them. We used this to draw attractive to families, the kinds that aren’t, and
families into a conversation about ideas rather why
than just problems or needs. We wanted to know — What’s important to families, where families
how things could be different. see themselves in five years time, and how they
imagine getting there.
Over the last 4 weeks, we have shared a meal
with 20 families and completed ethnographies of
another 15. This involved spending up to three days We used a series of visual prompt cards to move
in the family home and using an anthropological the conversation forward. This allowed us to
approach to experience a day in the life of the provide families with some ideas, which they then
family. We observed life from the perspective of projected into. Families can’t suggest what they
different family members and tried to understand have never seen or experienced so prompt cards
their varying perceptions and world views. were a way for people to start to imagine and flesh
out ideas for what might work.
To draw out some of this information and better
understand family dynamics we applied an
organisational framework and asked families
to consider themselves as a business or
organisation. Families came up with a motto for
1 2 themselves, talked about who their “business
partners” were, the role individual family members
played within the organisation. and wrote a 5-year
3 4
plan. To gain further insight, we also asked
families to visually map their week for us and
5 6
identify high and low stress points.
7 8
1 We recruited families outside Coles supermarket
2 We developed five inital offers to grab families’ attention
3 We met families for takeaways in their homes
4 We spent time with young people
5 We talked to families about our very early ideas
6 We shadowed services in Marion & Port Augusta
7 We ran a family festival with the Rajah community group
8 Along the way, our Sounding Board gave us feedback
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