MEN, MASCULINITY AND #METOO - NORDIC EXPERIENCES OF THE MOVEMENT THAT SHATTERED THE CULTURE OF SILENCE - MÄN FÖR JÄMSTÄLLDHET
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Men, Masculinity and #MeToo Nordic experiences of the movement that shattered the culture of silence
Contents
About Men, Masculinity and #MeToo
This study has been produced by the Swedish organization MÄN.
It is primarily based on presentations and discussions at a network About Men, Masculinity and #MeToo 6
meeting organised in Stockholm, in May 2018, together with other
Nordic civil society organizations committed to ending men's violence. Men's sexual violence against women 8
Interviews were conducted with representatives from organizations
participating in the meeting. #MeToo 10
Editor: Lena Wallquist The Nordic context 14
Text: Tony Halldin Hultkvist, Anna Lindqvist, Catrin Söderberg
Layout and illustrations: Tony Halldin Hultkvist The Nordic stories of #MeToo 16
Copy editor: Anders Hedberg Magnusson, Hanna Navier
Print: Trydells – Denmark 18
– Finland 22
About MÄN
MÄN is a non-profit, feminist organization founded in 1993 as a – Sweden 24
platform for men to take action against men’s violence towards women.
We work to change destructive masculinity norms and reduce male – Iceland 26
violence. Our vision is an equal world free from violence.
– Norway 30
Contact Nordic experiences of #MeToo 32
MÄN
Address: Hammarby allé 93, 120 63, Stockholm – Progress 34
E-mail: info@mfj.se
Telephone: +46 (0)8-17 82 00 – Resistance 38
Website: www.mfj.se
Organization number: 802407-2160 Moving forward 40
Five tips for men 47
– Interviewees 48
– Sources and resources 50
This report was made possible through the support of the
Nordic Council of Ministers under the presidency of Sweden.
ality! i t e d f or equ Un
About Men, Masculinity and #MeToo
About Men, Masculinity The link between masculinity
and men’s violence
In May 2018, 30 representatives from
and #MeToo
organizations working to challenge ma-
sculinity norms in the Nordic countries
met to build a foundation for mutual
learning and cooperation. The content These Nordic organizations share
of this report is an account of discus- the understanding that destructive
sions and experiences highlighted at the masculinity norms are intimately
meeting, and partly based on interviews linked to the perpetration of sexual
with some of the participants. violence, and to combat sexual abuse,
we need to challenge and transform
masculinity norms. To do that, there
is a need to understand how they are
created and upheld, and how they
affect society, relationships and indi-
viduals. Changing destructive ideas of
This report explores how #MeToo was what it is to be a man has the poten-
tial to contribute to gender equality,
received in the Nordic countries, with a improved public health and freedom
from violence for all.
The following pages will depict how
specific focus on reactions and responses the #MeToo movement was received
in the different Nordic countries, how
from men. Looking at Denmark, Finland, men reacted to it, and what conclusions
can be drawn in terms of connecting
Sweden, Norway, and Iceland, the report masculinity and men’s responsibility
and accountability to the issue of men’s
violence against women. •
aims at describing some of the trends and
challenges identified by organizations
A Nordic network to engage men
committed to ending gender based vio- The Nordic MenEngage network brings together Nordic actors
lence through diverse forms of work with
in the field of engaging men for gender equality. It is part of the
MenEngage Alliance, a global network of close to 700 organizations
worldwide, committed to ending men’s violence against women by
men and masculinities. working on issues of men and masculinity. An important task of the
members of the Nordic MenEngage network is to challenge patriar-
chal power structures and what it means to be a man. Another
central element is the discussion on how to encourage men
and boys to get involved in these issues.
7
Men's sexual violence against women
Men's sexual violence Violence can be prevented. This is not an article of faith,
against women but a statement based on evidence.
– World Health Organization 5
Who is the perpetrator?
The stereotypical image of perpetrators
as monsters hiding in bushes, and at-
tacking women while on their evening
Men’s violence against women, particu- run in the park, is pretty far from the
truth. The most common perpetra-
larly intimate partner violence and sexual tor of sexual violence is someone the
victim already knows, be it acquain-
tances, relatives, colleagues, bosses or
violence, is a major global problem and a current or former intimate partners.
This also became evident in the many
violation of women’s human rights. Global stories shared under #MeToo.
Also, while not every man is a Men’s violence is a
estimates published by the World Health perpetrator – virtually all perpetrators
are men. Men are highly over-repre-
men’s issue
sented as perpetrators of all forms of Throughout history, women have
Organization (WHO) indicate that about violence – be it by other men, children been at the forefront of the struggle to
or women. In the case of Sweden, na- end men’s violence. Women have also
one in three women (35%) worldwide will tional statistics from 2014 showed that
98 percent of the 2 400 sexual assault
struggled to hold men accountable to
the violence they commit or condone.
experience physical and/or sexual vio- suspects that year, were men. 2
#MeToo also bluntly exposed the
However, men have been largely
absent in the debate, activism and
prevalence of male violence and sense practical work against violence, and
lence in their lifetime. 1 of entitlement in all spheres of society, they have often met women’s efforts
regardless of class, ethnicity, level of with indifference, or even hostility.
education, or professional sector. In Within the field of engaging men
other words; perpetrators of sexual there are ongoing initiatives to chal-
harassment and violence can be lenge destructive masculinity norms
found everywhere. and promote gender equality. Work is
Numerous studies have shown that carried out to encourage men to take
stereotypical notions of masculinity responsibility for their own actions,
and femininity increases the likeli- and to take a stand against violence
hood of perpetrating violence against committed by other men. The silence
women. 34 It also makes it more likely of men in relation to other men’s
to consider violence against women in sexualization of women, harassment
its different forms as less problematic. and violence, creates a sense of accep-
Actors within the field of engaging tance and normalization of violent
men for gender equality share the con- behaviour. In this sense, the respon-
viction that no man is born violent, sibility to end men’s violence against
and that violence can be prevented. women lies truly on all men. •
9
#MeToo
#MeToo
Me too.
In 2006, the American civil rights activist
Tarana Burke started a social media cam-
The culture of silence
paign on MySpace, primarily for young In the Nordic region, petitions from
women in all professional spheres,
women of colour in poor regions. A young signatures from hundreds of thousands
of women, and stories shared on social
girl told Burke of her experiences of sexual media, constituted an unprecedented
movement that challenged the culture A platform for safe sharing
abuse. She shared similar experiences, and of silence surrounding men’s violence
against women. The personal testimo- The fact that sexual violence has been
nies of men’s sexualized violence and an omnipresent threat to women’s
was thinking “me too”. Burke initiated the harassment of women were so many, sexual well-being, physical and mental
and so strong, that they were impos- health all over the world for centuries,
#MeToo movement, using the hashtag to rai- sible to ignore. #MeToo unveiled the
magnitude of the problem, to the
is old news to most women. In addi-
tion to the impact of the sexual vio-
se awareness of the pervasiveness of sex- surprise of most men. lence itself, many survivors are faced
with negative social responses when
they share their experiences with others.
ual violence. In 2017, the campaign went This amounts to a form of secondary
victimization, and differs from re-
viral internationally when actress Alyssa sponses toward victims of other forms
of violent crime. 6
Milano invited all women who were survi- #MeToo was a virtual revolution in
the way that it gave women with expe-
riences of sexual harassment and vio-
vors of sexual violence to reply to a tweet lence an opportunity to tell their sto-
ries without the risk of being judged or
she made with those, nowadays, very shamed. All actors involved in taking
care of the effects of men’s violence
well-known words. against women were well aware of the
magnitude of the problem that #Me-
Too highlighted. However, it is an un-
deniable fact that #MeToo has con-
tributed heavily to a shift in the public
awareness and debate on sexualized
violence in many parts of the world,
including the Nordic countries. •
11
g privileged,
When you’re accustomed to bein
equality feels like oppression
The Nordic context
The Nordic context The Nordics – a relatively
good place to live as a woman
All of the Nordic countries; Denmark,
Finland, Iceland, Norway, and Sweden,
are in the top ten Western European
countries for gender equality, accord-
ing to the World Economic Forum’s
annual Global Gender Gap Report.
When it comes to education level, pay
gap, child and maternal mortality rates,
economic independence, and access
to power, the Nordic countries are a
relatively good place to live as a wom-
Many believe the Nordic countries to be an. The broad women’s movement has
played a crucial role in this progress.
gender equality heaven. This is also how Yet, gender inequality and violence
against women persist.
the region commonly perceives itself. While
only partly true, the Nordic countries do
have an impressive record when it comes Women have had to deal with men's violent behaviour for
to progress in the field of gender equality. centuries, not only as victims, but also in the struggle to end
Issues regarding men and masculinity are it. Therefore, it's not only necessary, but rather fundamental,
also increasingly being brought into the that all men take responsibility for men's violence.
gender equality agenda. The policy area of – Alán Ali, president, MÄN
men and gender equality is given high pri-
Men’s relationship with
ority in the Nordic countries, and a number gender equality
of measures are implemented accordingly, Nordic gender equality reforms have
historically been aimed at making
the unfair distribution of power and
focusing on, among other things, prevention resources between men and women
even, and most initiatives have target-
of men’s violence, equal parenthood and ed women. However, the work of wo-
men’s movements, and the growing
transformation of gender roles. 7 field of critical masculinity studies,
also paved way for an increased focus
on men and their relation to gender
equality. To varying degree in the dif-
ferent Nordic countries, the ambition
has been to make gender equality an
issue of stronger concern to men than
it has been in the past. •
15The Nordic stories of #MeToo
The Nordic stories
of #MeToo Men need to enter the fire and take the heat that women
historically have been exposed to from engaging in the
feminist movement.
– Hanna Nordberg, Unizon
Given the history of gender equality work
in the Nordic countries: how did #MeToo
impact Denmark, Iceland, Finland, Sweden,
and Denmark? How did men react to wom-
en’s testimonies? Were there constructive
responses? What did the resistance look
like? What differences and similarities
can we detect?
17Men, Masculinity and #MeToo The Nordic stories of #MeToo
Denmark
– For example, the union for Danish
metal workers has mostly male mem-
bers, and #MeToo had a considerable
effect on the way they deal with sexual
harassment in the workplace. The Dan-
ish metal union also started a discuss-
ion about how you can use your pow-
er; both positively and negatively.
Men’s Health Society is a multidis- However, a legal case about a digital
ciplinary non-governmental organiza- sexual assault had fuelled the debate
“Don’t accuse men!” This was one of the common, negative re- tion founded in 2014 dedicated to all on sexual harassment and violence,
sponses to #MeToo in Denmark. The public debate was very vivid, aspects of men's health. even before #MeToo happened.
though, and everyone had an opinion. The consciousness about Mie also says that even though – It is an extensive case called the
sexual harassment increased significantly, but there wasn’t a col- some people said #MeToo was overrat- “Umbrella case”. About 1300 young
ed, and that everyone should relax and people have been charged for spread-
lective movement that engaged a lot of people. There was some
get over it, most reactions were positive. ing non-consensual material online,
progress in the discussion on the need to challenge the power – Some groups of men believed it and are going to trial. There were some
balance in society, but not much was seen of the critical discus- to be a good thing, and some actually initiatives already working on digital
sion on destructive masculinity norms, that took place in other started to question their own behaviour. harassment too.
parts of the region. The Umbrella case got some
Engaging men welcomed headwind during #MeToo
– A common reaction was that men One trait in the discussion on and opened the space up for further
felt accused. They stole the spotlight gender equality in Denmark is the crit- The progressive work brought on by discussion. Henriette continues:
from the brave women who testified icisms of how gender equality has gone #MeToo focused on the issue of men’s – Some men started to discuss
and told their stories, says Henriette too far in neighbouring countries, and power in society. It was more about masculinity norms, and they asked
Højberg, Head of Secretariat at an some Danes think that Swedes are how to make it easier for women to themselves: what is my accountability
organization that challenges attitudes living in a “feminist dictatorship”. speak up, rather than a discussion on in all of this?
towards gender; DareGender. – Aalbæck Jensen once said in an how to prevent men from perpetrat- DareGender is a member organi-
A lot of the public debate circled interview that “within five years, a ing acts of harassment and violence. zation that reaches out to all types
around the famous men who aggres- Swedish man will have fired a machine Henriette did not see any other organ- of men, regardless of professions and
sively responded to the accusations gun into a crowd of women". He later izations that specifically highlighted political views.
against them. Filmmaker Peter Aalbæk stated that it can hardly end in any issues of men and masculinity. Dare- – We think that everyone has an
Jensen became Denmark’s Harvey other way, Henriette says. Gender organized six “Man Talk" interest in gender equality work, no
Weinstein. Aalbæk Jensen is close She explains that the reason for this sessions where they invited politicians matter your background or theoretical
associate and friend with Lars Von is that men are feeling subdued by to participate. Unfortunately, only knowledge.
Trier, another very famous filmmaker. women and don’t dare to speak openly three politicians participated, due to The organization is specifically tar-
Aalbæck Jensen calls himself “the Pig”, about it. She understands this notion, lack of time. geting men’s issues to introduce mem-
and has repeatedly, and publicly, stated though, and doesn’t disagree. Henri- – It was a clear message that this is bers to other perspectives on masculin-
that he loves to fondle women. And ette believes men could become very not something that is politically priori- ity as well as well refined methods of
that he won’t stop. hostile towards women if their anger tized, says Henriette. violence prevention.
– Peter Aalbæck Jensen made some is not addressed. – The main reason that we need to
horrible statements in the media, and it But these famed men, taking pride engage men is that equality applies to
has been well known that he’s been sex- in sexually harassing women is, fortu- all genders. We have to work on the
ually harassing people, Henriette states. nately, not the only kind of response premise that men are also a gender. If
to #MeToo in Denmark. we want to have a more equal society,
– I saw that a new group of people men need to be a part of that change
talked about women’s rights in a new – not just allies, Henriette concludes. •
way and that the issue was debated in
the work field as well, says Mie Møller
Nielsen, Head of Secretariat at Men’s
Health Society.
18 19about
Let's talk
aby
consent, bMen, Masculinity and #MeToo The Nordic stories of #MeToo
Finland
eral, might be portrayed in the current health work including sexual counsel-
#MeToo debate, says Harry. ling and support for boys and young
Even though some men used the men that have faced sexual violence.
“not all men” and “men too” arguments, They frequently talk with boys about
Kimmo and Kalle think that a lot of sexuality, gender roles, expectations,
men finally understood that sexual ha- norms and masculinity.
rassment and perpetration of violence – We believe working with boys and
towards women is a persistent problem. young men is really at the core of pre-
– I guess men really need a safe venting violence. Masculinity norms
space to talk about this, Kimmo and are far too often negative and violent.
– The general discussion in media was a little bit off topic, from Kalle conclude. Boys and young men don’t have many
time to time. The focus was put on the crimes and misconduct Many of the young men that come positive male figures in their live. There-
of a few individuals rather than on the deeper issues of gender to Poikien Talo are in vulnerable situ- fore, it is crucial for us men to promote
norms or imbalanced power structures. Some men asked them- ations and have faced social problems, positive masculinity and keep having
like bullying or loneliness, in their a dialogue with boys and young men
selves: “Are we not allowed to flirt anymore?”
lives. Poikien Talo also does sexual about feelings, gender roles, equality,
These are the words of Kimmo Saasta- a common resistance to the #MeToo
moinen and Kalle Laanterä at Poikien movement: that it had gone too far.
Talo (Boy's House), an institution – The most harmful resistance could
that does gender-sensitive social youth be described as “the silent resistance”.
work. They witnessed as the Swedish The fact that #MeToo is not acknowl-
speaking community in Finland made
#MeToo spread to other institutions
edged by leading political parties who
are currently governing Finland. The
It is crucial for us men to promote positive masculinity, and
and communities such as schools,
theatre, film and other parts of the
responsibility to move the discussion
forward falls mainly on the shoulders keep having a dialogue with boys and young men about feel-
culture sector. of individuals who are brave enough to
– The Swedish speaking community share their experiences. A lot of work ings, gender roles, equality, and respecting your own and
in Finland started a campaign and safe needs to be done in the effort to engage
space where over 6 000 women shared
their experiences of sexual harassment,
politics, as well as other institutions,
to examine gendered structures and
other’s boundaries.
says Kimmo and Kalle. practices. Finland is not there yet, but
And there were some fields of wor- I strongly believe that we will eventu- – Kimmo Saastamoinen and Kalle Laanterä, Poikien Talo
king life that reacted quite well. The ally evolve, Harry concludes.
Finnish Ministry of Education pub-
lished a guide on how to prevent sexual Men and their responses
harassment in schools.
– Shortly after #MeToo happened, Harry Lunabba believes that there
the debate focused on the legal case was a wide variety of reactions to the
surrounding Aku Louhimies, a well- #MeToo revolution by Finnish men. and respecting your own and others
known Finnish film director. Louhimies Some felt ashamed and responsible; boundaries, says Kimmo and Kalle.
has been accused of using brutal and others might have had a sense of relief Harry Lunabba believes men have
humiliating methods in his film pro- that destructive forms of masculinity their own responsibilities, interests,
ductions. The general perception was were finally being confronted. and needs when it comes to gender
that women were particularly targeted – There are also men who do not equality work.
with these methods even though men recognize the link between gendered – Right now I think that many men
had reported similar kind of experienc- violence, sexual harassment and cur- have difficulties positioning themselves
es. Critical voices claimed that women rent social structures. There are men in the gender equality debate. Men are
blaming Louhimies had ruined his who are afraid of, and concerned with, often portrayed as either perpetrators
movies, says Harry Lunabba, Senior the movement for various reasons. or bystanders, but there are many other
Lecturer at the University of Helsinki. Some are perhaps worried that stories dimensions to consider. I think it is
In general, Finns acknowledges from their past will be revealed. Others crucial to recognize men and mascu-
that sexual violence is a problem but are more generally concerned about linities as social agents in all work con-
Harry, Kimmo and Kalle witnessed how they themselves, or men in gen- cerning gender equality, he says. •
22 23Men, Masculinity and #MeToo The Nordic stories of #MeToo
Sweden
How was the response from felt insecure about how to respond, but
Swedish men? he still thinks the response was positive.
– The responses showed that us men
Despite the overall positive response, as a group started to ask ourselves:
the same kind of resistance as we have “How might we have contributed to
seen elsewhere also showed in Sweden. the suffering that #MeToo unveils?” In
There were some voices that called order to understand this, we have to
#MeToo a witch hunt on men, and talk about masculinity norms, he says.
others made the argument that sexual The organization MÄN has been
harassment and violence was the result working to engage men for gender eq-
It took just a handful of days for #MeToo to set all of Sweden in of increased immigration, despite uality for many years. They tripled their
motion. In the following months, petitions from women in virtual- statistics and numerous testimonies number of members after #MeToo.
ly all industries, and tens of thousands of testimonies on social pointing in another direction. – For us, #MeToo was revolution-
media, created a movement of unprecedented strength. The re- ary. We needed to act fast to guide
men in how to be an ally in the move-
sponse was overall positive and quite a few men engaged in con-
ment and create safe spaces where men
versations about vulnerability, masculinity and equality. Within could discuss amongst themselves.
the same timeframe, a new sexual assault legislation got passed. Almost overnight, men’s violence be-
However, many men also reacted with disbelief and anger, while
others blamed the sexual abuse of women on newcomers, in an
We needed to act fast to guide came an undeniable societal problem
worth getting involved in preventing,
says Hanna Navier, Communications
already infected debate on immigration.
men in how to be an ally in Manager at MÄN.
The great number of manifestos, where The movement also lit a fire under MÄN is a non-profit, feminist orga-
thousands of women from various
industries left anonymous testimonies,
the ongoing political movement to im-
plement a consent-based sexual assault
the movement, and create nization founded in 1993 as a platform
for men to take action against men’s
generated a massive media storm. These
manifestos were quickly assembled and
legislation in Sweden. The self-pro-
claimed feminist prime minister Stefan
safe spaces where men could violence towards women. The organi-
zation focuses on masculinity norms,
organized thanks to efficient collabora- Löfvén and other politicians promised how these norms are created and how
tion by women from different profes- to bring the issue to a vote. And final- discuss amongst themselves. they affect society, relationships
sions, who shared their expertise to ly, on 1 July 2018, the law became a and individuals.
help each other. In private Facebook reality. In short, this new law clearly – Hanna Navier, During the fall of 2017, MÄN dev-
groups, hundreds of thousands of sto- states that sex without consent is sexual eloped a guide for #AfterMeToo dis-
ries were shared, and numerous wom- assault. Victims of sexual assault in Communications Manager, MÄN cussion groups.
en dared, for the first time, to speak Sweden now have the support of a – Men already speak in groups
out about abuse and harassment. modern sexual assault legislation, in where women are shut out; in board-
The #MeToo revolution was overall large part thanks to an organization rooms, in break rooms, in sports locker
well-received and given massive atten- called "FATTA!" 8 that has been spear- rooms and many other contexts. With
tion, both in media and by politicians heading the need for a consent-based the #AfterMeToo material, we would
and decision makers. It also spurred culture, which this progressive law lays Many men supported #MeToo and like to spark different kinds of discus-
the compulsory preventive work at the groundwork for. made attempts to respond to the stories sions than the ones that generally take
workplaces and numerous companies Furthermore, the Swedish govern- of abuse and assault through various place, Henrik explains.
strengthened and revitalized their pol- ment has also earmarked new resources hashtags and confessions of perpe- The initiative quickly spread across
icies and routines. However, the coun- to support the women’s movements, trating abuse. These responses were Sweden. During spring 2018, more
try was also in something of a shock; and to improve education in schools shared widely and got praise as well as than 30 groups started around the coun-
is this really going on in gender-equal with the explicit goal of reducing sexual a lot of criticism, mainly because they try; and many more are expected in the
Sweden, in such massive numbers? assault and harassment. were perceived to draw attention from years ahead.
women’s testimonies. Women’s rights According to Hanna, the commit-
activists also highlighted the risk of ment seems to be lasting:
glorifying men’s regretful confessions – One year after #MeToo, many of
without reaching justice and reparation. the men that came to us are still active
According to Henrik Westin, psy- in the organization. This is a growing
chologist and educator at MÄN, men and revitalizing movement. •
24 25Men, Masculinity and #MeToo The Nordic stories of #MeToo
Iceland
in Iceland – however, I see this as a way
to keep the discussion about responsi-
bility on the right track, says Tryggvi.
The Centre for Gender Equality is
an Icelandic national agency responsi-
ble for administering the law, i.e., the
Gender Equality Act, and on gender
equality and equal rights for men and
The Icelandic population was very attentive to women’s testi-
monies of sexual assault. The stories of the #MeToo movement
were widely embraced and the response has generally been
In Iceland, we address the need to engage men not only as
positive. As well as some progress through the Gender Equality
Act, the general #MeToo discussion included the topic of men’s allies for women’s rights but as beneficiaries of the positive
responsibility, and men started to reflect on #masculinity.
effects of gender equality.
In Iceland, women from a range of but I'm afraid that is too optimistic.
workforce sectors came forward to tell We must maintain the momentum – Tryggvi Hallgrímsson, Specialist Advisor and Sociologist,
their stories of sexual harassment and
violence, and were followed by female
and be on guard against any backlash,
says Tryggvi.
Centre for Gender Equality
sports athletes, immigrant women and In Iceland people actually started
other groups. The media gave voice to to listen and did not express doubt or
the movement and even the response question what women who spoke up
from the Icelandic government has were saying.
been substantial. – People just listened. That was women. The purpose of the act is to
The Prime Minister has made a co- the most significant thing for us, as a promote gender equality in all spheres
ordinated response to #MeToo a polit- culture, Tryggvi concludes. of society; education, labour market
ical priority and the Icelandic parlia- and violence prevention. The organiza-
ment is looking into how interaction in “… because #masculinity” tion makes this happen through a broad
politics can adhere to a higher standard. mandate to instruct and inform govern-
According to Tryggvi Hallgrímsson, A common reaction to the #MeToo ment on gender equality in society. – These efforts are helping a small
Specialist Advisor and Sociologist at the movement from men worldwide has – The law on gender equality is a number of men, willing to seek help.
Centre for Gender Equality, there ac- been ignorance or in some cases out- tool for addressing not only irrefutable But the push for these alternatives for
tually has not been much opposition. rage that it has gone too far. In Iceland, rights but also society’s objectives for men has not been taken seriously, and
– I do not think I'm overly arrogant men have been less inclined to voice creating a quality of life. I see this as the counselling has, therefore, not been
when I say that there has not been any their doubts about women’s experienc- central throughout all issues we attempt operationalized to the extent needed,
type of meaningful resistance. But I es. Some men started a hashtag called to discuss within the broad umbrella Tryggvi explains.
also believe that we are at a very deli- “#karlmennskan”, which translates to of “men and equality”, Tryggvi says. In the wake of #MeToo, feminism
cate time for the #MeToo movement. “#masculinity”. The initiative aimed Iceland has been trying to provide has been made a mainstream talking
In the first days and weeks, many at giving men an opportunity to ac- minimal funds for counselling to men, point, and now there’s a big opportu-
spoke of a new era in gender relations, knowledge their privileges but also the wanting to address anger in interper- nity to step out of the comfort zone
disadvantages of being male and hav- sonal or intimate relationships. and move the boundaries even further,
ing to conform to masculine identities. before it’s too late. He thinks the need
One example of a tweet read: “After a to address masculinities as we engage
miscarriage I often went on car rides in diverse policy issues is pressing for
alone, just to cry. I just need to let all the Nordic countries, and that we
the grief break through sometimes. I must make it more central to the way
couldn’t let anyone see me like that we discuss gender politics.
because #masculinity.” – In Iceland, we address the need to
– It would be overly optimistic to engage men not only as allies for wo-
say that the #MeToo movement has men’s rights but as beneficiaries of the
had a real effect on masculinity norms positive effects of gender equality. •
26 27o!
san
es, i
tay
g bu
ythin
EverMen, Masculinity and #MeToo The Nordic stories of #MeToo
Norway
At the same time, it also created supporting alternative masculinities,
some political standstill. Suddenly, if according to Hedda:
a public figure made strong statements - “Caring is the opposite to vio-
against sexual harassment, you were lence”, Norwegian researcher Jørgen
blamed for doing it for political points. Lorentzen has said, making the point
A lot of men have also voiced the that by promoting active fatherhood,
opinion that #MeToo has gone too far or by encouraging boys to seek psy-
Politicians being accused of sexual misconduct stole much of
the attention during the #MeToo movement in Norway. A num-
ber of petitions from female professionals underlined the impor- When more men and boys understand the negative effects of
tance of talking about destructive masculinity, but men general-
ly remained silent about the matter. There was however a gen- gender inequality, I think they are also more likely to become
eral agreement that sexual harassment is a widespread problem,
and men that had been exposed to sexual violence felt encoura- engaged for gender equality.
ged by #MeToo to seek support.
– Hedda Hakvåg, Senior Advisor, Reform
A large number of women in Norway ticipates in public debate and govern-
used the hashtag #MeToo to share sto- ment hearings. They also have projects
ries of sexual harassment and abuse. aimed at producing knowledge and
There was also a number of petitions creating change.
and group statements about sexual – We work to engage men in gender
harassment in different professional equality efforts, but we also raise aware- and expressed concerns that men can’t chosocial health support, we are also
sectors, such as the arts scene and med- ness about the ways in which gender even flirt any longer, without being doing a form of violence prevention.
icine, due to female professionals com- inequality impacts men. Violence pre- accused of sexual harassment. Reform are also committed to rais-
ing together with other women within vention, health, sexuality, fatherhood, – In the early days of #MeToo, ing awareness about men and boys who
their discipline, and realizing they had education and work life are among the journalist Aleksander Schau shared a are survivors of domestic violence or
similar experiences. The result was a many topics in our scope, says Hedda. series of tweets, revealing a culture of sexual abuse. They are advocating for
widespread recognition that the #MeToo male harassment of women within the policy change that would provide train-
uproar needed to be taken seriously. It is a man’s world arts and media scene. This received ing for shelter staff on supporting
Hedda Hakvåg, Senior Advisor at quite a bit of positive response – and male victims.
Reform - Resource Center for Men, Even though the connection to mascu- of course some backlash, says Hedda. – The gendered stereotypes that pre-
believes that the response to #MeToo linity norms and men´s responsibility Male labour union organizers gath- vent people from seeing men as victims
in general has been quite positive: was indeed made in many of the pe- ered 600 signatures for showing supp- of violence are, I believe, part of the
– My impression is that #MeToo has titions signed by female professionals, ort for women’s experiences of #Me- same gender system that facilitates men’s
created a shift in awareness, not only the focus of the broader public debate Too in December 2017. But aside from violence against women. If we want to
among men, but also among people in in Norway has mainly been on work- that, there was little organized activism root out one, we need to root out both.
general. Suddenly, there is overall agree- place policies and individual cases. by men to show public support or take Hedda continues:
ment that sexual harassment is a wide- – What perhaps stole the most action against men’s violence. – If we truly want to achieve gender
spread problem. Another thing that attention was that several prominent Reform indirectly contributes to equality, we must engage people of all
has been positive is that many men who male politicians received allegations of the prevention of violence through the genders. Men and boys are also impact-
have experienced sexual violence them- sexual harassment and eventually had organization’s other projects that focus ed by inequality, and thus, we need to
selves have felt encouraged by #MeToo to resign from their offices. on challenging gender norms and address how gender norms and struc-
to come forward and seek support. tural inequality affect men. When more
Providing low-threshold services men and boys understand the negative
such as counselling, and a peer-to-peer effects of gender inequality, I think
helpline for men, is one of Reform’s they are also more likely to become
core strategies. In addition to this, the engaged for gender equality. We need
organization also functions as a na- pro-equality men and boys to act as role
tional centre for gender equality that models – for other men, but also for
advocates for policy change and par- women and non-binary people. •
30 31Nordic experiences of #MeToo
The #MeToo revolution successfully
made the following points:
Sexual harassment and violence against women is a current problem
of massive proportions – not something that only happened a long time
ago, or is happening somewhere else
At the publication of this study, almost a
Sexual harassment and violence has long-term and severe effects on
year has passed since #MeToo exploded the well-being of survivors
worldwide. Whatever opinions people in the Perpetrators of sexual harassment and violence can be found in all
spheres of society. It is not a problem linked to a specific and limited
group of men
Nordic countries have had about the move-
Perpetration of violence is linked to power and a sense of entitlement
ment, it is hard to deny its impact, both on in relation to women
the discourse on sexual harassment and In the Nordic societies, despite important gender equality progress,
numerous obstacles remain that prevent survivors of violence from
testifying, being believed, and obtaining justice
violence, but also on the concrete work to
The silence of bystanders creates a culture of acceptance towards
counter it. At the Nordic network meeting the misconduct of many men, especially men in power positions
on men, masculinities and #MeToo, several
common traits of progress and resistance
were identified, as well as some
promising ways forward.Men, Masculinity and #MeToo Nordic experiences of #MeToo
Progress
Looking inwards
#MeToo opened up space for men to
discuss masculinity norms and men’s
responsibility. Some men were ashamed
of how they themselves or their peers
have played a part in the stories told.
They showed honest concern over their
actions and initiated some soul-search-
Challenging silence ing to reflect on their behaviour, and
what they might have done in the past.
There is definitely reason to talk about Men also shared confessions of per- Structural change
a pre and post #MeToo era. Pre #Me- petrating abuse, on social media. These
Too, women who shared stories of testimonies were met with some criti- With these important progresses in
sexual harassment and assault were lik- cism, arguing that men once again stole mind, there is still need for compre-
ely to be met with indifference, disbe- the spotlight from women’s stories. In hensive, long-term efforts to counter
lief or shaming. After #MeToo, sur- some cases, these men were praised for and put an end to sexual harassment
vivors are more likely to be listened Speaking up speaking out, but still did not take re- and violence. As previously shown,
to and believed, and, hopefully, there sponsibility for their actions. To solve #MeToo gave leverage to important
will be less voices airing their doubts Alongside the open, public discussion this problem, some organizations cre- processes of legislative and structural
about women’s experiences. The public on sexual harassment and violence, all ated safe spaces to enable these diffi- change in several of the Nordic coun-
consciousness has increased, and there Nordic countries, to varying extent, cult and vulnerable conversations. tries. There has also been significant
is a general agreement in the Nordic also saw important progress in the change within the work field, such as
countries that sexual harassment and willingness of many men to talk about, stronger implementation of policies on
assault is a widespread problem. Expe- and be self-critical on, their own role sexual harassment. The reach of struc-
riences that were once taboo to speak in the system of oppression that makes tural change in the different Nordic
about are now more possible to un- violence possible. Given that the sil- countries seems directly related to how
earth, immune to negligence. ence of other men creates the sense advanced the gender equality policy
that sexual harassment is accepted, area was prior to #MeToo. An import-
Ending impunity every man speaking up in protection ant task for decision makers is to make
of women’s rights to physical integrity sure that these efforts continue, and
#MeToo also challenged the impunity matters. When men take action to that time and resources are channelled
of perpetrators. The most beloved peo- stop being part of the problem and to systematic interventions to prevent
ple on TV, famous actors or directors, become part of the solution, perpetra- sexual harassment and violence. •
big corporate bosses, and important tion can be hindered.
board members in organizations were
no longer protected by their status and
power. We have not yet seen the long-
term consequences of the #MeToo
revolution, but for a moment, the
barriers that had made perpetrators
untouchable, crumbled and fell. At the beginning of #MeToo, a
lot of men felt insecure of how to
engage in the movement and how to
respond when women shared their
experiences of abuse.
The Swedish organization MÄN
produced a list of five tips for men.
You find them on page 47.
34 35"Not all owls"
Men, Masculinity and #MeToo Nordic experiences of #MeToo
Resistance
Angry men
At the margins of the general public’s
reactions to #MeToo there is also the
growing movement of angry men with
a feeling of loss of entitlement. We are
living in a world which is globalised,
multicultural and diverse, and some
men are really struggling with a real
and/or perceived loss of power and
Though the overall response to #MeToo in the Nordic countries control. Some men believe that wom-
was positive, there was also some resistance. Counter-argu- en are actually better off than men in
ments and backlash show many similarities between the diffe- today’s society, despite all statistics
rent countries. proving the opposite.
Movements fuelled by hatred against
women are lurking in the shadows,
“#MeToo has gone too far” like the online subculture of so called
“incels”. The incel is usually a white,
When women shared their experiences heterosexual man who define himself
of sexual harassment and violence they as an “involuntary celibate”, unable to
were occasionally met with aggression find a female partner despite desiring
and called on to not accuse men. What one. Discussions in incel forums on-
was perceived as scapegoating of indi- line are often characterized by resent-
vidual male celebrities and politicians ment, self-pity, self-loathing, misog-
in the media made some men upset yny, racism, a sense of entitlement to
about the public shaming of male per- sex, as well as hatred towards the wom-
sonalities they previously identified Blaming the few for the en who “deny” incels sex, and the men
with or admired. Many felt accused crimes of many who “are given” sex by these women.
and were concerned about how they The world’s post #MeToo progress on
personally and/or men in general might The sense that #MeToo went too far gender equality is creating a rift, and it
be portrayed in the #MeToo debate. also had other expressions. The severe is paramount that some men’s confu-
Others aired the concern that under misconduct and violence perpetrated sion and anger is addressed. •
the perceived “witch hunt” of #MeToo by some (named) men was undeniable,
it would no longer be possible for men but critics withheld that “not all men”
to approach women. Many men be- are bad. By focusing on the few visible
came uneasy when they realised that perpetrators, the discussion could be
from now on there might be conse- steered away from violence against wo-
quences to their actions: “Isn’t a man men as a structural problem.
allowed to flirt anymore without be- When men proclaimed that “not all
ing accused of sexual harassment?” men” are abusing women, the focus
shifted away from talking about destru-
ctive forms of masculinity, and men’s
responsibility for the problem.This is
not a new phenomenon; anyone wor-
king to address violence against wom-
en as a structural problem come across
the “not all men” argument. However,
as women persisted in linking catcall
ing, sexual harassment, controlling be-
haviour, violence, and rape, the struc-
tural nature of men’s violence against
women remained in focus in the
public debate.
38 39Moving forward
Moving forward
Safe spaces for self-reflection
A critical challenge when #MeToo ex-
ploded on the public stage was how
to bring men on board the process of
change, and how to avoid reactions of
disbelief, shame, and resistance.
Many men told of the complex One way forward was to offer men
feelings that #MeToo brought about. safe spaces to reflect on the feelings
»» Disbelief: “Is the problem really that the #MeToo testimonies brought
this common?” to the surface, and to give men some
»» Shame: “How could I not know support in reaching out and connect-
about this, when it apparently has ing with other men. To create safe
happened to so many women that spaces means, in short, to invite men
Many of the organizations and experts are close to me?”
»» Fear: “What have I done that I
to a non-judging environment, to be
critical about power imbalances, to use
from the Nordic countries that came to- wasn’t even aware of has harmed
someone?”
guiding questions to facilitate self-re-
flection, and to encourage men to be
»» Anger: “How is this still going on?” vulnerable in front of each other. This
gether in Stockholm, in May 2018, have »» Commitment: “I need to do some- can happen online, in individual
thing about this.” counselling, or in groups.
extensive experience in working to change »» Confusion: “What can I do? How
can I deal with this without be-
Spaces like these are quite hard to
find in a patriarchy which teaches men
destructive masculinity norms and to coming yet another man taking up
space in a revolution that belongs
to be self-reliant and “strong”, to be
successful and not emotional. The very
to women?” space itself can constitute a challenge
prevent sexual harassment and violence. to the stereotypical norms of masculin-
ity that also are the breeding ground of
When exploring the Nordic experiences sexual harassment and violence.
With support and guidance by
of #MeToo and finding constructive ways people who have set out to dismantle
patriarchal norms, it becomes possible
for men to understand the unequal
forward, some common features became power structures in new ways, it be-
comes easier to discover the ways in
visible. The following pages provide a which they are upheld, and one’s own
role in this process. Hence, change
brief description of good practices and becomes possible. Using safe spaces to
promote men’s self-reflection and trans-
formation is a valuable tool in combat-
promising methods. ing sexual harassment and violence.
41Men, Masculinity and #MeToo Moving forward
Consent-based culture
Without disregarding the important
processes of responsibility, justice and
reparation that survivors of sexual vio-
lence are entitled to, and the role of
Since masculinity norms are still not part
accountable men in those processes,
one of the most important things that of everyone’s understanding of gender and
organizations working in this field
can do, is preventing these violations gender power dynamics, proven methods
from happening in the first place. The
majority of the organizations present
at the Nordic network meeting carry
can add a framework and language to make
out work to transform masculinity
norms, promote a culture of consent, masculinity norms visible and, hence, possi-
and challenge the objectification of About men and responsibility
women. The primary target group is ble to address and challenge. Boys and men
often youth, but this work is both An important challenge when working
necessary and viable in larger groups
of the population.
with men and boys in relation to the
#MeToo movement is how to deal with
need to be given the opportunity to critically
There are a number of elaborated
methods and programs at hand in the
the issue of responsibility. It is clear
that, apart from lifting the stigma from reflect and to unlearn patriarchy – not once,
different Nordic countries. They share survivors of sexual harassment and vio-
several components, but with slightly lence, a key result of #MeToo is that but throughout the lifecycle. Piece by piece,
varying entry points. Usually, the work it has placed guilt and responsibility
is process-oriented, aimed at reflection,
rather than education, and it offers
where it belongs; with perpetrators
and silent bystanders.
silence, sexual harassment, and violence
opportunities for the target group to
explore values and personal experiences.
Men might, when faced with the
stories of #MeToo, come to realize, or can be replaced with a culture of consent
In the group sessions, interactivity suspect, that they themselves have been
is encouraged, and value exercises, perpetrators of acts of harassment or and active bystanders. •
short film clips and scenario exercises, sexual violence. To encourage men to
are used. If possible, the same target take responsibility for their actions is
group meets on several occasions, of great importance. First and foremost,
allowing for the process to continue men must practice the art of listening.
between sessions. This process-cen- Another important aspect is to take
tred way of working is based on a full responsibility for one’s actions, and
norm-critical approach. not implicitly suggest that the other
person has some responsibility when
someone crosses their boundaries. Tak-
ing responsibility can imply asking for
forgiveness, without expecting it to be
given. Finally, perpetrators can offer
reparation for harm caused, materially,
or in other ways. It’s everyone’s respon-
sibility to support this process when
engaging with men post #MeToo.
42 43Feminism is the radical notion that
women are peopleMen, Masculinity and #MeToo Five tips for men
Five things that men can
do when women testify 1 – Listen and confirm
Encourage women who want to tell you more about their
about sexual harassment experiences, and show them that you believe them.
2 – Start with yourself
Contemplate your own behaviours. If you feel that you’ve
crossed the line, now is a good time to seek help.
3 – Talk to other men
Discuss your thoughts and feelings and encourage other
men to do the same.
4 – Speak out
Make yourself a promise to never be silent again when other
men go too far, for example when they pull a sexist joke.
5 – Engage!
Organize for change. Join a non-profit. Talk to your boss,
teacher or coach. Everything counts!
Psst! Read more at män.se
46 47Men, Masculinity and #MeToo Interviewees
Tryggvi Hallgrímsson Hanna Navier Kimmo Saastamoinen Harry Lunabba
Specialist Advisor, Sociologist Communications Manager Counsellor, Coordinator Senior Lecturer
The Centre for Gender Equality – Iceland MÄN – Sweden Poikien Talo – Finland University of Helsinki – Finland
tryggvi@jafnretti.is hanna.navier@mfj.se kimmo.saastamoinen@poikientalo.fi harry.lunabba@helsinki.fi
As a specialist adviser and sociologist at the Centre for Gender Hanna’s extensive experience comes from journalism. She studied Kimmo’s adventures on the field of social services began approxi- Harry is first and foremost a father, husband and dog owner. His
Equality Tryggvi’s research and consulting has focused on work gender studies, political science, and international relations at mately 12 years ago during the civil service year spent with visually professional background is grounded in social work regarding child
environments of both private and public organizations. Working Stockholm University. Hanna has a long background as an activist. impaired youth. After moving to the capital, and finishing a protection. Harry’s expertise is in youth, child and gender studies.
with gender mainstreaming and gender equality plans in companies, As a volunteer for the online chat for boys, Killfrågor.se, Hanna Bachelor degree in Social Services, he’s been working with themes At the University of Helsinki, Harry has the role of Senior Lecturer,
his attention has centred on monitoring the implementation of aims began her engagement in MÄN, where she now runs the commu- such as mediation and counselling on crimes and disputes, support a position earned by the extensive educational background he
put forth in the Icelandic Gender Equality Act – among them, the nications team. She has been a board member in several Swedish person activity, and psychosocial support for refugee men, volunteer obtained; a PhD in Social science, and various other social work
requirement that employers shall take measures to prevent sexual non-profit organizations, and has been president of the Stockholm recruiting, training, and management. For the past three years, studies. Harry aims to educate social workers, promote research,
harassment. In recent years Tryggvi has consulted the minister for section of the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education. Kimmo has done cultural and gender sensitive youth work as a and do knowledge-based social work. He wants to generate aware-
gender equality on measures to increase men’s involvement in the counsellor and coordinator at Poikien Talo in Helsinki. ness of gender structures in children’s and young person’s lives, and
discussion on gender equality. undertake practice-relevant research in social work.
Henriette Højberg Mie Møller Nielsen Kalle Laanterä Hedda Hakvåg
Head of Secretariat Head of Secretariat Director Senior Advisor
DareGender – Denmark Men’s Health Forum – Denmark Poikien Talo – Finland Reform – Resource Centre for Men – Norway
hh@daregender.dk mie.moeller.nielsen.02@regionh.dk kalle.laantera@poikientalo.fi hedda@reform.no
Henriette has been working with gender equality and violence for Under an extensive period of seven years, Mie has been actively At the age of 15, Kalle started his career in social work, being a Hedda has a master's degree in gender and intersectionality from
over a decade, and has been the head of Danners Resource Centre, working with health promotion in local government. Since 2014 club leader at youth service for 10-12-year-old boys. Focusing in the University of British Columbia. In 2015, she started working
and the head of KVINFOs national department. She has been she has focused specifically on men's health in Forum for Mænds on youth services and child welfare, Kalle later finished a Bachelor as a Senior Advisor at Reform – A Resource Centre for Men. She
working with women’s shelters, violence against women, and gender Sundhed. Her educational background is complex, and consists of degree in Social Services, and started working in the field. Years combines theoretical knowledge about gender issues, sexual abuse,
equality, not only nationally, but also internationally. Today, she is a degree in health education centreed around communication of later, thanks to the talks and self-reflection they did at Kalle’s next gender-based violence, and prostitution, with experience of practical
the head of DareGender, an organization that aim to engage men in specific health. She also has management training with a focus on employment at Poikien Talo, he really started to contemplate gender violence prevention. At Reform, Hedda has a special responsibility
gender equality, which she founded in 2016. business development. Mie’s expertise is centered around specialized equality issues and masculinity. Now, as a Director at Poikien Talo, for men and gender equality from an intersectional perspective. She
knowledge about men's health. She has well-honed networking Kalle makes sure everything runs smoothly. He conducts everyday is also a project leader for Stop Girlfriend, and is responsible for
skills, and catching the interest of external parties in her field of tasks from writing funding applications and reports, being active coordinating Reform's project portfolio.
study. Mie is currently Head of Secretariat at Forum for Mænds in different networks, providing a healthy work environment, to
Sundhed, an organization that put men's health on the agenda, representing the organization in press and politics.
both politically and directly to men.
48 49You can also read
