REGGIE BUSH INVOLVED IN YET ANOTHER CONTROVERSY
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Here are the breaking news stories from around the WCFL in week 12...fresh from the Mob presses deep
inside the mysterious bowels of The Hideout.
REGGIE BUSH INVOLVED IN YET ANOTHER
CONTROVERSY
Last Updated 9:32 PM, November 30, 2010 EST
BANNER DAY IN WCFL AS FAVRE AND MOSS HANDED WALKING PAPERS
DALE WALTERS AND PHIL CARTER REVEAL THEY ARE INDEED SISTERS
IN PANAMA, COLORADO OR OREGON...A ZERO IS STILL A ZERO
FIRST THEY CAME FOR WADE PHILLIPS, THEN THEY CAME FOR BRAD
CHILDRESS...NOW JACK LAMBERT?
THIS JUST IN: GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO AND THE ENTIRE SOMNAM'S
ROSTER ARE STILL DEAD
WHERE HAVE YOU GONE HERMOSA BEACH PETA CHAPTER???
STERLING, COLORADO LATEST DOWNTOWN TO BE SHUT DOWN BY SILENT-
FOOTBALLING WCFLERS
TOO EARLY TO CALL THE BRAD VS. SCOTT VS LEINART VS. WHISENHUNT VS.
CARDINALS VS TROJANS BATTLE???
TURN THE PAGE FOR THE LATEST WCFL NEWS & RUMORS »
TOP STORY…
REGGIE BUSH INVOLVED IN YET ANOTHER CONTROVERSY…
Did Reggie turn WCFL rules upside down and dive through a loophole? Or has Mike
Daly’s iron fist started to release its tight grip on rule interpretation and enforcement?
Reggie Mikey Sammy
(NV) Reggie Bush raised a few eyebrows on Tuesday afternoon when he appeared to change
WCFL uniforms, Mob to Dealer, in record time.
Cry foul, you say? Nepotism? Collusion??? Incest???? Not so fast…
Astute clock-watchers would have noticed that Bush’s jump from Mob black and red to Dealer
red and black was only the second fastest uniform change this season…coming in a full 5
seconds behind rookie Ram QB Sam Bradford who, according to witnesses, couldn't peel off his
Igloo uniform fast enough to get into his new Pier digs...
A Mob investigation into the situation uncovered some interesting facts, but don’t look to us for
your wikileak-like dirt. You’ll only get facts here.
FACT: The WCFL used to allow one IR transaction per season. When your injured starter
returned, you had the option of keeping or trading either player.
FACT: Often times the replacement player “filling in” for the injured player would emerge as a valid starter (sometimes even a star.) Thus, the owner who recently was crapping his drawers as he cringed through replay after replay of his original player’s ugly knee injury, now found himself with a tasty little gift in the form of his replacement player. A replacement player that just might garner a high draft pick or another solid player via trade. Yes, that was legal. FACT: As WCFL/NFL defenses grew more and more violent and injuries occurred more and more often, there was a call to increase the IR number to 2 per year. FACT: Like most(all?) proposed rule changes to This League, it was met with serious skepticism and required much deliberation before we went and changed a system that was/is quite nearly perfect. FACT: Wild Conference President Mike Daly, as he always does (Thank God!), took the conservative route and begrudgingly agreed to the change but with a few counter-proposals such as (a) if you IR a player and he plays the next week you get zero points from either player and, most relevant to this situation, (b) the replacement player must be cut, not traded, so that the owner could not “benefit” from the injury transaction. The replacement player was meant to be just that, a temporary replacement to be cut upon the original player’s return. It was agreed upon and now you can decide to keep the replacement player and cut the original, injured player or vice versa, but you MAY NOT TRADE either player. FACT: Earlier this season, a newer owner inquired about this semi-confusing rule and asked a veteran owner if it was ethical to ask a team with a player returning from IR for some “insider knowledge” about the timing of the cut so as to have an advantage in adding that player. The owner also asked if it was ok to offer the owner some compensation in return for the timing of the cut. The veteran owner considered this question for some time. He considered the fine line between finding loopholes/helping a buddy out vs. out-and-out collusion. He considered the integrity of the league. He considered how Mike and Scott might view such a bald-faced attempt to circumvent the rule. In the end, the greybeard advised the youngster to avoid such a plot because the rule was meant to keep an owner from benefitting from a replacement player via what can only be called a trade, and it would risk ill will from those who most believed in and stood by the rule. The youngster took the advice and opted out of the trade, waiting by his inbox to be the first to jump on the impending cut.
FACT: The player was cut and added at essentially the same time in what appeared to be a pre-
arranged deal and the youngster missed out.
So, did the owners involved in either the Reggie Bush or Sam Bradford(or even Sidney Rice?)
cuts/acquisitions receive insider knowledge about the timing of cuts? Did they receive anything
in return? Was it a coincidence that these transactions happened via impeccable timing? We may
never know, but…
CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE: David Towell loves Reggie Bush, Mike Daly loves the
Rams and both Ron Smelser and Rob Stone stood to gain from these transactions.
Ultimate Question: Did anybody even do anything wrong in all of these scenarios? Is it illegal
to tell someone the timing of an IR cut? What if you are in the playoff hunt and you would rather
not see someone you might face acquire the player you are about to cut? What if a deal you had
made with an owner in the past worked out much better for you than them and you wanted to
kind of help even it out? What if you just simply wanted to help a buddy out? Is it illegal to offer
someone something in return for said knowledge? Is that not a trade? Is the only way around this
clear loophole to simply change the rule and allow owners to trade a player that must be cut if he
has value? Mob press will leave that to the league to hash out. We are just here to deliver the
facts…
In Other News…
BANNER DAY IN WCFL AS FAVRE AND MOSS HANDED WALKING PAPERS…
Is this the end of the road for two of the WCFL’s highest scoring players and biggest all-
time douchebags?
L8TR, SK8TRS
DALE WALTERS AND PHIL CARTER REVEAL THEY ARE INDEED SISTERS
Personally, as much as tying your opponent sucks, I’ve always thought it sounded WAY
cooler than kissing my sister. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Dale and Phil,
let us know how that all works out for ya. If you kiss and tell that is…
IN PANAMA, COLORADO OR OREGON...A ZERO IS STILL A ZERO
Tough year, Rick…what with injuries, benching and now shutouts. The league
appreciates your efforts to make moves up to the wire and not tank the season though.
Very cool. They might do such things in those “other” leagues, but not in the WCFL. Is
there any chance we can see you sometime in the future? It has been far, far too long
since we have gotten to hang out with you! WE MISS YOU!!! There has got to be a direct
flight from Panama City to LAX for next year’s draft/driving tour of WCFL haunts.
Let’s make it happen cap’n!!! And no more shutouts!!!!
DOUGHNUT GOOSE EGG ZEROES!
FIRST THEY CAME FOR WADE PHILLIPS, THEN THEY CAME FOR BRAD
CHILDRESS...NOW JACK LAMBERT?
I’m not sure if such numbers are supposed to remain private, but I would LOVE to see
the total dollar amount spent by the Pittsburgh Scabs this season. With Jerry
Jones/George Steinbrenner-esque ownership willing to open up the coffers, and a clear
commitment to win, can head coach Jack Lambert’s job remain safe for long? When
recently asked by reporters about his job security, Lambert snapped, “If they’d stop
sending me pussies who can’t stay on the field more than a week, you’d see a change!”
THIS JUST IN: GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO AND THE ENTIRE
SOMNAMBULIST ROSTER ARE STILL DEAD!
Is this a real WCFL roster?
Sacramento Somnams
Smith (SF)
Smith (DET)
Brown (IND)
Jones (GB)
Cooper (PHL)
Carlson (SEA)
Crosby (GB)
WHERE DOES THE BATTLE ROYAL STAND???
This week’s post game meltdown in Arizona reminded me of the testy exchange between
Cardinal fan Brad Jones and Matt Leinart fan Scott Small early this season. We may not
know the victor in the whole Scott vs. Brad vs. Ken Whisenhunt vs. Matt Leinart vs. Derek
Anderson vs. Arizona Cardinals vs. USC feud for years to come, but for now, it’s a draw.
Matt has moved from Cardinal bench to Texan bench while Ken and Derek appear to be
racing to see who hits rock bottom first…and brings the Cardinal organization with them.
Stay tuned…
WHERE HAVE YOU GONE HERMOSA BEACH PETA CHAPTER???
Hey, it’s you’re team, Howie. Whatever, man. How can you live with yourself, though???
Mostly kidding. I have to admit, I have softened my stance a tad on Michael Vick. Not
that I’m not appalled, sickened and angry about what he did, and not that I would let
him into a Mob jersey just yet, but I am ok with second chances. He did serve the time
doled out to him by our trusty justice system and, for now, seems on the right track. I’m
not sure what else I want from him at this moment so I’m up for giving him another
shot…and then locking his ass up for most of his life if he tries to sneak back into that
lifestyle. I could be totally wrong about this, but I kind of believe him when he admits
that he really didn’t think the dog fighting thing was that bad and didn’t think people
cared as much as it turned out they did. I buy that and believe that he believed that. I
think his perspective is different than mine. His reality is different than yours. Not that it
makes his crime any less heinous or his thug mentality any easier to stomach, but I do
kind of understand how he might feel that way. In the end, I hope the whole thing not
only raises awareness to these types of activities, but also strikes a blow to the “do
whatever you want cuz you’re a star mentality.” You know, first do it until you get
caught, then lie about it until there is enough evidence against you, then hide behind
expensive lawyers, greedy media and starfuckers and then enter rehab or otherwise play
the victim. Oh, and if you want to go totally Bill Clinton, don’t forget to end the charade
by attacking the people who caught you.
OLD MICHAEL VICK? NEW MICHAEL VICK?
STERLING, COLORADO LATEST DOWNTOWN TO BE SHUT DOWN BY SILENT-
FOOTBALLING WCFLERSRemember our first draft in New Orleans when we shut down Bourbon Street with an
epic game of silent football surrounded by street cleaners, mounted cavalry and empty
streets? Well thanks to ScabMatt, we have a new geographically centered downtown to
conquer…see you in Sterling, Co. soon!!!
And
now, let’s bring out the teacher in me and assign some homework, shall we? Inspired by Scot Hogan’s
mini-lesson in WCFL terminology for the rook’s, let’s expand their knowledge even further and do a
small team-building activity aimed at helping them get to know the people behind the owner’s roster
names and team helmets. On the following page is a bunch of top-5 lists. I have filled them in first. Your
job is to choose any or all of them(or your own) and email all of us your answers. The more of us that do
this, and the more answers we give, the cooler it will be. So don’t be shy…read mine and then dive in! I
can’t wait to learn things I never knew about each of you.
Random things you didn’t know about me…in groups of 5. I’ve
tried to avoid words like “best”.
Music I love… Places I dig… Teams I Follow
1. Pink Floyd 1. London 1. S.F. Giants
2. Tom Petty 2. San Francisco 2. N.O. Saints
3. The Cure 3. Hermosa Beach 3. USC Trojans
4. George Harrison 4. Yellowstone 4. Reno Posse
5. Moby 5. Oregon Coast 5. Douglas Tigers
Books Movies Food
1. East of Eden 1. Snatch 1. Mom’s Tacos
2. Pillars of the 2. Election 2. Fondue
Earth 3. Raiders of the 3. Paisano’s Pizza
3. Lonesome Dove Lost Ark 4. Ribs
4. Harry Potter 4. L.A. 5. Shrimp
5. The Bible Confidential Etoufee(K.Pauls)
5. Almost Famous
Phobias/Dislikes Booze Good Sports Things
1. Claustrophobia 1. Bourbon and Soda 1. Kurt Warner
2. Heights 2. Jack Daniels 2. Tony Gwynn
3. Lightning 3. Apple-tinis 3. Ryne Sandberg
4. Politics 4. Guinness 4. Joe Montana
5. Violence/Greed 5. LaFitte’s ‘Canes 5. John Wooden80’s Songs I Dug in
Random favorites from my past… the Day
1. Car…my first car, my grandmother’s 1975 Mercedes. 1. U2-With or Without You
2. House…the “hexagon” in Gardnerville (elementary/middle school) 2. Prince-When Doves Cry
3. Childhood Game…Jack and Jim where Mark and I were 3. Tears For Fears-Everybody
superheroes with bionic powers. Wants to Rule the World
4. Concert…Pink Floyd at the Oakland Coliseum with David in 1988 4. Michael Jackson-Billie Jean
5. Gift…First real “boombox” for Christmas in 1983 5. Simple Minds-Don’t You
Forget About Me
Concerts I would
Cool WCFL Players Uncool WCFL Players love to see before
I’ve Had I’ve Had it’s too late…
1. Rodney Peete 1. Terrell Owens 1. U2
2. Brent Jones 2. Ricky Watters 2. The Cure
3. Haywood Jeffires 3. Terrell Owens 3. Dave Matthews Band
4. Emmitt Smith 4. Mike Vanderjagt 4. Tracy Chapman
5. Calvin Johnson 5. Terrell Owens 5. Moby
Bucket List Ideas If I could own Five Great Future
anything… Draft Destinations
1. See Paul McCartney Once More 1. House on the ocean 1. Greenwich Village, NY
2. Write a Book 2. House on a mountain lake 2. Houseboat on cool lake
3. Visit Jerusalem 3. House on an island 3. Cabin (Yosemite/Grand Cnyn)
4. Live in Europe for a year 4. Private jet 4. Hawaii…pick your island
5. Not work for any system, just 5. Private masseuse 5. New Orleans/Hermosa!!!
live, give, search and serve.
OK, fine. Here is the only reason you opened this update and I will reward your
patience…fighting through 8 pages of wordy, mostly-unimportant drivel…
Playoff Possibilities!!!
Or as a Hozemonster would say, “It’s nut-cuttin’ time!”
Crazy West…Nevada has clinched division and home field. Reno controls its own
playoff destiny. Win out and the crazy card is yours. Lose out and you’re done.
Lose one and you wait and see what happens down south between AZ and LV.
Crazy Central…Las Vegas and Arizona are even more tied than just being, like,
normal tied. They have the same record and they actually tied when they faced
each other earlier this season. I don’t even want to know what that is like doing to
your sister. Their rematch this week is, well, big. Either team that wins out wins
the division. Either team loses out and they are done. If they each go 1-1 in thefinal two games it will come down to points and tie-breakers that will only be known when the dust settles. Any way you slice it, two teams out of Reno, LV and AZ will be playing in week 15. Crazy East…Miami and Newark are fighting it out for the division…neither team can be the crazy card. They play each other this week and if Miami wins, the division is theirs. If Newark wins by 26 or more points, the division is theirs. If Newark wins by less than 26 points, hellllooooooo tie-breakers. Wild West…, Wild Central…,Wild East…No offense, my wild blue brethren…but 9 of your 12 teams still have a shot to make the playoffs and with so many similar records, head to head match-ups, tie breakers and scenarios, it seems better to reevaluate going into the final week. I wish you all a fabulous holiday season as we approach the New Year. Be present in each moment, look the people you care about in the eye and re- evaluate what you want out of your one shot through this life. Lastly, as Zeus told Perseus in Clash of the Titans…find and fulfill your destiny. Much genuine love, Robbie Mobbie
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