From the Deputy Head Master - Summer Hill - Trinity Grammar ...

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               From the Deputy Head Master - Summer Hill
       It has become our custom in recent times to share the messages we give to
       your sons in the Bulletin so that you are aware of what we are telling them and,
       hopefully, to reassure you that we are giving the guidance you would wish your
       sons to hear from their School. Guidance that reflects your values as well as
       ours. This week was an important week as far as that messaging was
       concerned, partly because of the issues that were raised by the Four Corners
       Programme, Boys’ Club, but also because of the confluence of a number of
       other conversations and issues that have been going on in and around the
       School. So, I thought you may be interested in reading some of the messaging
       in the words of those who have spoken with your sons over the course of this
       week.

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At Quad Assembly, Doug Kelly (12St) and Earvin Dizon (12Ta), both
School Officers, gave a powerful call out against discrimination.

Among the many important things we learn in our journey through life, we are
taught to treat everybody with respect. No matter their race, job, or disability
and a recent social media viral video showed in graphic detail the terrible
impacts of bullying on a young boy with a disability, Quaden Bayles. He was
scared and so traumatised he talked of taking his own life.

Sadly, his experience is not rare. Disabled kids all over the world experience
rejection and abuse. A study showed within a 12-month period more than 56%
percent of disabled students experienced bullying. As we stand together
around the Quad this morning, I want you to reflect. If you were in Quaden’s
shoes, how would you like to be treated? As students of this school we must
support each other.

Treat each other kindly and accept that not everyone is the same.

Be encouraging.

Be the small change in the world. Earvin Dizon (12Ta)

                                …………………………………

Everyone has the right to feel safe, be safe and be happy. Being bullied can
make you feel miserable, afraid and powerless. I was bullied in primary school
because I was unable to walk without the support of my walker and because I
was different. I was called “cripple”. I was an easy target.

The bully at my primary school repeatedly put his foot in front of my wheels on
my walker and would tell everyone I deliberately rode over his foot.

On one particular day, this bully tied my walker to a pole while I was playing
handball. The bell rang and, as I started to run to line up, the walker pulled back
which caused me to face-plant onto the concrete. My face was cut and
bleeding, and I couldn’t get up.

That night I couldn’t stop crying.

I decided to tell my brother and he was angry and told my parents. I also told
my teacher. The school helped me and stopped the bullying.

If you are ever the victim of bullying, tell someone. Tell your brother, tell your
sister, tell your parents, tell your carer, tell your friend and tell your teacher.

No one deserves to be bullied. Doug Kelly (12St)

In Middle School Assembly, Ms Katie Brett, Middle School Housemaster
of Wynn Jones, spoke about the difference between the reality
television series, Survivor, and real life.

In real life ‘survivors’ are measured on virtues and values of respect, tolerance
and trust, and how closely one’s actions align to these. These are the values
that help others feel accepted, gain a sense of belonging, and experience love.
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These values breakdown our differences. These values help us broaden our
perspective and guide our actions.

It may be surprising that at Trinity we don’t have a subject that is called
‘Values’. If you think about school through the analogy of an iceberg, there are
aspects of School life which are measurable - effort and application in classwork
and homework leads to academic growth, sport training improves your
performance. It’s easy for us to measure our progress in domains that we can
see because we can plan for it, we know what’s influencing it. But what about
the things we can’t measure and can’t see, but which we value so highly? Life
Skills sessions, Assemblies, House Meetings and Chapel are the ways in which
we deliberately teach the things that are difficult to measure but which help
shape and develop your sons’ values. Values likely to make him a successful
real life ‘survivor’.

In Middle School Assembly Mr John Allen, the Head of the Middle
School, reflected on Boys’ Club

You will recall last year when I addressed the issue of the sexist, misogynistic
chant from a group of boys travelling on a tram in Melbourne. The boys were
from a boys’ School in Melbourne, not unlike Trinity. They were in their uniform
on the way to their track and field meet.

Today I wish to reiterate that message in addition to focus on the impact of
their behaviour. Some excerpts from the recent Four Corners episode highlight
this. (Mr Allen showed an edited version of the Four Corners programme, Boys’
Club).

First, I wish to make this very clear. There is no place for attitudes, actions,
chants or words that discriminate against, belittle, marginalise or objectify
women. Not in our community, not in the broader community.

What struck you when you saw the video? The singing, uniform, pride. It is
reminiscent of our school and many others. We do want you to have school
spirit, feel a strong connection with the Trinity community. We believe that it is
valuable to know and feel that you are part of something greater than yourself
and to gain the benefit of support that this brings. This is good and appropriate
when the values of a group are played out through positive actions. But it can
be destructive when this manifests in negative behaviour.

So, what can you do?

     Be informed – be educated, take on the advice and messaging that the
     School offers
     Be outwardly focussed (show gratitude and empathy)
          Ask “What impact do my actions have on others?”
          Respect others
          Be a champion for respectful relationships
          Call out bad behaviour

As Mr Galluzzo and I have said to you repeatedly, character is revealed when no
one is watching and, particularly at your age, may be tested under pressure
from your peer group. Your character reflects your family and your School, and
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it is important to make decisions that are congruent with your values.

     Ask “What are the foreseeable consequences of my decisions and
     behaviour?”
     Ask “Who will be affected by my behaviour?”
     Ask, “What would my role models think of my behaviour?”
     Don’t be negative or neutral, find your moral compass and be ready for the
     moments when you are going to be tested.
     Be a leader not a follower

In Senior School Assembly Dr Heath De Lany, the Head of the Senior
School, reflected on Boys’ Club

The School in the video is very like us. A boys’ school. A school with a Christian
heritage and there is so much good that can come from a school just like ours.
In my Year 11 interviews, one of the most common answers when asked to tell
me three positive things about the School is ‘the boys’. Many of you have
formed friendships that will be lifelong.

One of the interesting reflections in the story is the pride of wearing the uniform
and it is worthwhile to reflect on your experience of the Trinity blazer. I suspect
that there is a sense of both pride and belonging, especially at the big public
events and on public transport. My challenge to you is to reflect on how are you
perceived by others in that context? When there is strength in numbers and the
potential to be anonymous. Just another Trinity boy. What is your point of
reference? One of the young women in the programme said that she was on
edge as soon as she saw large groups of boys in uniform. Another said she
didn’t believe they were bad people, but that they seemed as though they were
caught up in a vacuum and could only hear their own voices. There was a
suggestion in the programme that this may have been because of a sense of
entitlement and privilege. I’m not sure that is always fair. But I do think that we
are sometimes caught up when we are a part of a group of other men and don’t
realise how we are being perceived.

There is no doubt that the boys’ behaviour on the tram that day, was
misogynistic and, for many people, a manifestation of toxic masculinity.

Genesis 1:27 tells us that God created humans in his likeness, male and female
he created us. The Latin, imago dei, in the image of God, is often used to
describe this passage. And we have an inherent value and dignity as a result.

We have to ask ourselves, what is our culture at Trinity? We have war cries and
chants. They echo around Quad after each House Carnival and they are an
exciting aspect of CAS Swimming, CAS Track & Field, Rugby and Football. They
create a sense of belonging to something bigger than ourselves.

But it is critical that there is a collective understanding that Trinity Grammar
School will not turn a blind eye to misogyny. We will not condone bad
behaviour.

I would like to close with the words attributed to the writer Edmund Bourke in
1770. That the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to
do nothing.
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I hope that sharing excerpts of my colleagues’ messages to your sons over the
last few days in their own words is both reassuring and gives you confidence.
The teaching your sons receive is consistent and regular, and there is an
inexorable power in consistency.

Bradley Barr | Deputy Head Master – Summer Hill

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