Steroids Messed Up My Life

"Steroids Messed Up My Life"
Chris Wash started taking steroids at 15. The steroid­related suicide of a friend was his
wake­up call to stop.
Turn on your TV, and there's a good chance you'll hear about an athlete being accused of using
anabolic steroids. By taking anabolic steroids, athletes get bigger, stronger, and faster than they
would if they worked out without taking them. These drugs can have mild side effects, such as
hair loss and acne. But they can also cause depression and fatal liver and heart problems.

Steroid abuse isn't just a problem for pro athletes. High school kids want to become stronger and
better athletes too, and some are willing to take drugs to gain an edge. Doctors estimate that
500,000 to one­million high school kids are using, or have used, anabolic steroids.

Chris Wash of Dallas, Texas, and one of his friends, Taylor Hooton, were two of those kids.
Taylor dreamed of being the top varsity pitcher for Plano West (Texas) Senior High School. Chris
was a 6′2″, 180­pound guard on the basketball team who thought he was too skinny. He wanted
to bulk up for his 10th­grade hoops team and be the toughest kid in school.

Taylor started using anabolic steroids in the winter of 2004, during his junior year. He stopped
using them the next spring, but friends say he was planning to go back on them later in the
summer. While coming down from the drugs, he became depressed, a side effect of withdrawal.

On July 15, 2005, Taylor committed suicide. He was 17 years old.

Taylor's death was a wake­up call for Chris. When he found out Taylor's death was linked to
steroid use, he stopped using the drugs for good. But now, more than a year later, Chris still
suffers after­effects from his steroid use. He battles depression every day. Chris told his story to
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED to try and help prevent other kids from suffering the way he does and
Taylor did.

"Taylor can't talk about how dangerous steroids are anymore," says Chris. "I have to speak for
him and do the best that I can."

Here is Chris's story, in his own words.

The Love of Sports
"I've always loved sports. In seventh and eighth grade, I played football and basketball on the
Frankford Middle School team. I played quarterback, linebacker, and shooting guard. The
summer between eighth and ninth grade, I tore the ACL [anterior cruciate ligament] in my left
knee during a basketball summer­league game. I didn't know what had happened at first. I just
knew it hurt."

Chris missed his freshman football season (2002­03) at Shepton High, a school for 9th­graders
and 10th­graders. His knee was healthy in time for basketball season, but he wasn't allowed to
play because he was failing algebra.

That September, Chris started taking a pill called Androstenedione ("Andro," for short) that older
kids had told him about. Andro is considered a stepping stone to anabolic steroids. Like those
steroids, it raises the testosterone level in the bloodstream and increases muscle mass to help
make a person stronger. Chris bought the Andro at a local health­food store.

"Freshman year, I didn't play any sports. I was lifting, though. I wanted to focus on getting more
imposing for my sophomore year on the basketball team. I took an Andro pill three times a day
for my entire freshman year.

"I took the last pill of the day before I worked out, at around 8 at night. While I was on Andro, I
felt different: a little more angry, a little bit shaky.

"My muscles also started to get more definition. I liked it. I didn't gain a ton of weight, but my
bench press went from 105 pounds to 190. Nobody on the basketball team was putting up 190 in
ninth grade."

Mr. Intimidating
As a sophomore, Chris decided to give up football to focus on basketball, his favorite sport. In
February, near the end of the hoops season, he decided to try anabolic steroids to pump up even
more.

"I'd been thinking about using steroids for a while. I was tall and skinny. I wanted to be tall and
stocky. If I posted up, nobody would be able to get around me.

"Using steroids wasn't just about getting better at basketball. I wanted to be the big guy at
school that everybody was scared of.

"I asked a friend where I could get steroids. He said his cousin was a bodybuilder who could get
them for me. His cousin got the steroids from Mexico. Most of the illegal steroids that enter the
U.S. come from there. The steroids didn't come with directions, so I just took my friend's word
on [how to use them]."

The First Time
There are many types of anabolic steroids. They can be taken in pill form or injected in liquid
form with a syringe. Users normally take steroids in cycles. They take the drug for eight or 10
weeks, stop using for a couple of months, then start using again. This practice is called cycling.
Users take a break with the hope of reversing bad side effects. But steroid expert Dr. Gary
Wadler says "a lot of side effects, such as a male developing breasts, are permanent." Cycling
can also cause depression while the user's body withdraws from the drug.

"The first type of steroid I took was [a pill] called Dianabol. I was on a six­week cycle of three
pills a day.

"I took a month or so off, and then I did Dianabol shots for 10 weeks. I only had to do the shot
every three days.

"I wasn't scared or anything the first time I injected myself. I'm not scared of needles. I shot it
in my lower back, just above my butt. The first shot hurt. I couldn't cross my legs it hurt so bad.
I [also] got a weird taste in my mouth. It tasted like lamb. But I was, like, whatever, I'm going
to get huge.

"The Dianabol pills cost me a dollar a pill. My mom gave me 50 dollars a week for allowance, and
I just saved that up. When I decided to switch to Dianabol injections, they cost me 150 bucks for
23 doses. I sold my PlayStation to a friend for that money.

"There's no point to being on steroids if you aren't going to work hard, too. It's not like steroids
alone make you ripped. You have to work out a ton. When I was on steroids, I lifted six days a
week, two hours a day. Within a couple of weeks of being on the steroids, my arms felt like
rocks."

Bursts of Anger
Chris went from 180 pounds to 210 pounds after his first two cycles of Dianabol. His basketball
skills didn't improve, but he saw a change in his personality. He became angry when he played.
His behavior eventually ended his high school basketball career.

"[When I went on steroids], right away I started to get angry a lot more quickly, especially when
I played basketball. I would punch a wall or knock over a chair if I didn't like a call a referee
made. In all honesty, I've always had a temper. But when I was on steroids, it just made it
worse.

"After the [regular season ended], we had off­season practices in the spring. I wasn't showing up
a lot. I just didn't care. When I did come, sometimes I'd get into fights with kids on the team or I
just wouldn't try.

"My head was messed up. I was angry and I didn't know why. I got kicked off the basketball
team during an off­season spring practice. My coach had had enough of my attitude. He yelled at
me. I told him that yelling doesn't motivate me, you know?

"I told him not to yell at me, [but he didn't stop]. So I picked up the ball and threw it at his
chest. I took my jersey off and just walked off the court. The next day, I found out I was kicked
off the team.

"It's not like I wanted to get kicked off. I mean, I love basketball. If I hadn't been on steroids, I
wouldn't have acted like that. I know it."

A Shocking Death
Chris didn't try to get back on the team. He stopped taking steroids after his second cycle,
during his junior year (2004­05). But in April, he wanted to look buff for summer, so he started
taking them again. This time, the consequences went beyond a hair­trigger temper.

"The third and last time I took steroids was for 10 weeks. I injected two steroids at the same
time, Test­400 [Testosterone] and Deca 300 [Deca Durabolin].

"I heard you get even bigger more quickly if you do it this way. I took one shot every five days.

"I hid my needles and stuff in my bedroom in an empty MP3 player case. It's not like my mom
was looking for steroid stuff. She just thought I was getting bigger because I worked out.

"You are supposed to eat a lot when you are on steroids. I would probably have five or six
protein bars a day and steak and eggs almost every night. I got up to 235 pounds and could
bench­press 300 pounds. I got some acne on my back, but this didn't seem like a big deal to me.
It was on my back.

"After I was done taking these steroids, I was going to take a month or two months off, then go
back on them. What I didn't know­but what I know now­is that if you stop taking steroids, you
can go into an emotional depression. I became suicidal, just like Taylor. That's what happened to
Taylor. That's what happened to me.

"I was coming back from the gym on July 15 when a friend called and told me that Taylor had
committed suicide. I didn't believe him. I called my other friend who played baseball with Taylor.
His mom told me it was true.

"I was in shock. Taylor was just a nice, outgoing kid. We weren't super close, but we were
friends. Right after he died, nobody knew his death had anything to do with steroids. Nobody
had any idea why he would kill himself."

Bottoming Out
After Taylor's death, Chris didn't go back on steroids. He didn't know Taylor had taken steroids
too. But suddenly, getting stronger didn't seem so important anymore.

Chris became deeply depressed. One reason was Taylor's death. Another was the effects of
steroid withdrawal. Chris stopped going out with his friends. He slept all day and drove his car all
night. His senior year at Plano West Senior High began on August 11, 2005, but he was not well
enough to go back to school.

"During the summer before my senior year, I felt sadder than I had ever felt before. In some
ways, my feelings had a lot to do with Taylor dying. I also lost my great­grandmother that
summer, so that was hard too. Anybody would be upset about this stuff. But it wasn't like that. I
was in a cycle of frustration, anger, and rage.

"Everybody talks about how steroids are going to make you more aggressive, and that is true,
they do. But nobody ever talks about how when you go off steroids, it intensifies your sadness.
When you are on steroids, your emotions are so high. When you come down off them, you feel
horrible.

"I felt like my life wasn't worth living. I wanted to kill myself. At the time, I had no idea these
feelings had anything to do with coming off steroids. I just thought I was losing it.

"When school started, I couldn't go back. I was sleeping all day and then driving around until
four or five in the morning. My mom took me to doctors to figure out what was wrong with me.
But nobody asked me if I had taken steroids. Nobody.

"Finally in November, I saw a big article in our local paper, The Dallas Morning News, about
Taylor and his death. When I read the article, I could not believe it. The article talked about how
Taylor had done anabolic steroids. The medical experts in the article said the reason he
committed suicide was that when he stopped taking steroids, it caused him to be depressed. I
knew exactly how Taylor had felt.

"I took the article to my mom and she read it. She knew right away what I was trying to tell her.
I had been on steroids too, and that was why I was acting that way.

"My mom wasn't upset. In some ways, she was relieved. At least she knew there was a reason
for my behavior. We knew it was too late for Taylor, but not for me. I knew I would never touch
steroids again."

Recovery
When Chris's mom, Debbie, found out her son had taken anabolic steroids and was suffering
from withdrawal­related depression, she took him to see another doctor right away. The doctor
put Chris on anti­depression medicine to help him feel better. Chris went back to school in late
fall 2005. But it was too late to get credit for the first semester, so he couldn't graduate with his
classmates in the spring of 2006. He is scheduled to graduate this December.

It takes up to 18 months for some anabolic steroids to leave the body. Chris continues to take
medication to help fight his depression.

"I still get depressed. When you get off some steroids, it's not like they leave your system. They
just keep messing you up.

"I'm still trying to get my life back, even now. I'm going to try to walk on at one of the local
junior college basketball teams after I graduate from high school. Maybe from there, I'll get a
scholarship to a four­year Division I school.

"I feel lucky that I'm alive. I feel bad that Taylor isn't. We both went through the same thing. I
survived it.

"Maybe I can't tell some kid that he shouldn't do steroids. But I can say this: They messed up
my life. They held me back from going to college and held me back from playing basketball. I
know steroids affect everybody differently, but is it worth the risk to even try them?

"I can say this, too: According to Taylor's mom, the reason I'm alive is because Taylor's
protecting me. I sometimes think he died for me to live. Because of his death, I'm still alive."

The Dangers of Anabolic Steroids
Not all steroids are bad for you. There are two types: corticosteroids and anabolic steroids.

Corticosteroids are used as medicine to combat asthma and other health problems. They are
man­made substances that imitate adrenal cortical hormones. These hormones help stop
inflammation in your body. Asthma sufferers have swollen and inflamed airways. Corticosteroids
help reduce the swelling so that a person can breathe more easily. They can be taken through an
inhaler, as a pill, or as an injection.

Anabolic steroids are the dangerous ones. They are man­made substances that imitate
testosterone, the hormone the male body produces to cause muscle tissue to grow larger and
stronger. Anabolic steroids are several times stronger than testosterone. They cause muscle
tissue to grow larger and stronger at an unnatural, rapid pace. Anabolic steroids can help an
athlete become more muscular, but they can also cause serious health problems.

Dr. James P. Giangobbe, a physician in Litchfield Park, Arizona, has listed the side effects from
taking anabolic steroids. He divided them into two categories: short­term, which can occur within
weeks or months after a person starts taking steroids; and long­term, which can develop years
after taking the drugs.

Short­term Side Effects

Emotional Changes

• Steroid users tend to become aggressive and angry more easily. Users show bursts of anger,
called 'Roid Rages, that can be triggered by even the smallest incident.

• While withdrawing from steroids, a user can become deeply depressed and think about suicide.

Physical Changes

• Acne will appear, mostly on the back and face.

• Hair will grow in the wrong places, such as the back (for boys) and the face (for girls).

• Boys and girls will lose hair on their head.

• Boys can develop female­like breasts.

Long­term Side Effects

• Stunted growth. A teen may not grow as tall as he would have without taking steroids.

• Testicles shrink in size, and the drugs can eventually cause sterility.

• Cysts form on the liver, which could rupture and cause internal bleeding.

• Potential liver cancer

• Blood pressure increases and arteries harden, which can ultimately lead to heart attacks and
strokes.

• The heart muscle thickens, which can cause heart­rhythm disturbances that can lead to death.

• Injecting anabolic steroids with non­sterile needles can cause life­threatening viral infections,
such as HIV and hepatitis B and C.

Get Stronger Naturally
So you want to become bigger, stronger, and faster, without using steroids? You can ­ with the
right workout and diet plan. Greg Brittenham, the strength and conditioning coach for the New
York Knicks, has five tips to help you become a better athlete... naturally.

   1. Read Strength Training for Young Athletes, by William J. Kraemer, PhD, and Steven J.
      Fleck, PhD (Human Kinetics Publishers). The book shows how to use weights to get the
      best results for all the major muscle groups in your body. You can start strengthening
      your muscles at any age. To prevent injury, don't go into the weight room without a
      qualified trainer who can teach you the correct way to lift.
   2. Using your own body weight is an excellent way to make you stronger. You can do push­
      ups, pull­ups, abdominal and lower back exercises, and leg exercises, such as lunges and
      step­ups. Make sure you rotate days: Work your upper body (push­ups and pull­ups) one
      day and your lower body (leg exercises) the next day. (For more specific guidance, speak
      with your physical education teacher or a professional trainer.)
   3. Eat a healthy diet. Unprocessed foods, such as fresh fruits and vegetables, are the best
      foods you can eat. The longer food is cooked, the fewer nutrients it has. For specifics on
      what and how much an athlete should eat, read Nancy Clark's Sports Nutrition
      Guidebook, by Nancy Clark (Human Kinetics Publishers).
   4. Cross­train. If you are a basketball player, don't just play hoops. Playing different sports
      helps prevent overuse injuries and will help you become a more balanced athlete.
   5. Don't make working out a drag. Doing the same routine every day can make working out
      boring. If that happens, you may start looking for a quick way to get stronger, such as
      using anabolic steroids. Just go outside and play. In the long run, playing and having fun
      could prove to be the best workout of all.