THE SACRAMENT OF HOLY MATRIMONY - Shrine of the True Cross Catholic Church
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THE SACRAMENT OF HOLY MATRIMONY
Shrine of the True Cross Catholic Church
300 FM 517 E.
Dickinson, Texas 77539
Phone: (281) 337-4112 Fax: (281) 337-5779
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CONTENTS
THE SACRAMENT OF HOLY MATRIMONY ......................................................................................1
Preliminary Information for Marriage: ................................................................................................5
Requirements: ....................................................................................................................................5
Parish Residence: ............................................................................................................................5
Church Certificate for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony: ..................................................................6
Primary Marriage Preparation: ............................................................................................................6
The initial interview with the priest/deacon: ..................................................................................6
The Wedding Date & Time: ............................................................................................................7
The Foccus Instrument: ......................................................................................................................7
The Engaged Encounter Weekend: .....................................................................................................7
The Sponsor Couple Program: ............................................................................................................7
Second meeting with Priest/Deacon: ...................................................................................................8
Natural Family Planning: ....................................................................................................................8
Spiritual Preparation:..........................................................................................................................8
The Marriage Ceremony: ....................................................................................................................9
Liturgical Instructions: .......................................................................................................................9
The Church: .................................................................................................................................. 10
Dress: ............................................................................................................................................ 10
Sunday Obligation: ....................................................................................................................... 10
Wedding Rings: ............................................................................................................................ 11
Music: ........................................................................................................................................... 11
Decorations and Floral Arrangements: .......................................................................................... 11
Church Availability for Set-Up & Clean-up: ................................................................................. 12
Sanctuary: ..................................................................................................................................... 12
Altar and Tabernacle: .................................................................................................................... 12
Pews: ............................................................................................................................................ 12
Unity Candle, Candelabra Etc.: .....................................................................................................12
Clean-up: ...................................................................................................................................... 13
Florist's agreement with the couple and the church: ......................................................................... 13
Photography/Video: .......................................................................................................................... 13
Sanctuary: ..................................................................................................................................... 13
Distraction: ................................................................................................................................... 14
Photographer/video technician's agreement with the couple and the church:................................ 14
Visiting Clergy: ................................................................................................................................. 14
Facilities: .......................................................................................................................................... 14
Church:......................................................................................................................................... 14
Bride's Dressing Room: ................................................................................................................. 15
Parish Hall: ....................................................................................................................................... 15
The Reception: ................................................................................................................................. 15
Fees & Stipends: ............................................................................................................................... 15
Preparation materials fee: .............................................................................................................. 16
Church building use: ..................................................................................................................... 16
Maintenance Deposit: ................................................................................................................... 16
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Parish hall:.................................................................................................................................... 16
Musicians: .................................................................................................................................... 16
Altar Servers: ................................................................................................................................ 16
Priest/deacon: ............................................................................................................................... 16
Appendix ............................................................................................................................................. 17
Couples' Check List ............................................................................................................................. 19
Florist's Agreement .......................................................................................................................... 21
Clean-up: ..................................................................................................................................... 22
FLORIST’S ACKNOWLEDGMENT FORM ........................................................................................ 23
Photographer/Video technician's Agreement .................................................................................... 25
PHOTOGRAPHER/VIDEO TECHNICIAN'S ACKNOWLEDGMENT ............................................... 27
REQUEST FOR BAPTISMAL CERTIFICATE ..................................................................................... 29
REQUEST FOR BAPTISMAL CERTIFICATE ..................................................................................... 31
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PRELIMINARY INFORMATION FOR MARRIAGE:
Contact the church no less than 6 months before your anticipated date of wedding. Depending on the
circumstances, a priest or deacon will work with you in preparation for the Sacrament of Holy
Matrimony and the wedding ceremony.
If either one of the parties who are seeking marriage has ever been married before (in church, before a
judge, or by common-law) the priest/deacon needs to be made aware of it immediately.
The bride or groom or family of either one must be a registered parishioner of Shrine of the True Cross
Church.
Couples are in need of a convalidation of their union, who are already married in any of the following
means:
Married civilly, before a Justice of the Peace
Married in another church outside the Roman Catholic Church (without having gotten
permission from the Bishop to do so)
Common law marriages wherein they have taken up living together
Couples to whom these kinds of scenarios apply are not starting a new union. Therefore, not all of the
following considerations apply. The priest/deacon will work with them with regard to the
requirements and liturgical arrangements.
Please be sure to read this marriage guideline booklet in its entirety.
The process of Marriage preparation is summarized as follows (Note: This may vary some depending on
the circumstances and the priest/deacon):
Initial interview with the priest/deacon.
Complete the FOCCUS Instrument questionnaire.
Appointments with the priest/deacon.
Sponsor Couple sessions or Engaged Encounter Weekend.
Complete Natural Family Planning Course
Rehearsal.
REQUIREMENTS:
PARISH RESIDENCE:
The bride or groom or family of either must be registered and contributing members of Shrine of the
True Cross Church for at least six months prior to the wedding.
DOCUMENTS REQUIRED: 1
Baptismal Certificate:
Catholics must furnish the priest/deacon with a newly made baptismal certificate. This may be
obtained relatively easily. Contact the church where you were baptized and ask them to issue
you a baptismal certificate for Marriage with notation of all the sacraments you have received up
to now. This certificate becomes part of your marriage file. The marriage ceremony cannot take
place without it. 2
We can not accept an old baptismal certificate or a photocopy of an old baptismal certificate.
1
It is your responsibility to see to it that all of the necessary documents are obtained and delivered to the priest/deacon to be
placed in your marriage file.
2
Confirmation is not absolutely required for one to be able to marry, but it is strongly encouraged. If one has not
been confirmed they should seek out preparation, if not before, then, after marriage, for this final Sacrament of
Initiation.
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The baptismal certificate that we are required to obtain must be issued within six months
before the wedding date. Please see the letter of request for a baptismal certificate in the
Appendix section of these guidelines.
Marriage License:
You are required by the state of Texas to obtain a license for marriage. You must obtain it no
more than 21 days and no less than 3 days before the wedding date. This may be obtained at the
County Courthouse.
The license is to be given to the priest/deacon before the wedding rehearsal. He must sign the
Marriage license after the wedding. A copy of the document goes into your wedding file and the
original is mailed to the County Clerk. You will receive the formal document once it has been
duly recorded by the State of Texas.3
NFP Certificate:
You will be provided with a certificate confirming your successful completion of Natural Family
Planning classes. Please turn this in to the priest/deacon to be placed in your file.
Engaged Encounter or Sponsor Couple Certificate:
You will receive a certificate upon completion of the Engaged Encounter Weekend retreat or the
Sponsor Couple meetings. Please turn this in to the priest/deacon to be placed in your file.
Please remember in the event that you are unable to keep an appointment that you have scheduled
with a priest/deacon, or, if you realize that you are going to be late or that you are going to have to miss
the appointment, it is important that you call to notify the priest/deacon and/or to reschedule if
necessary.
Church Certificate for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony:
After your wedding is recorded and the notification is mailed to the church of your baptism, we will
send you a marriage certificate from the Church.
Marriage preparation Process:
PRIMARY MARRIAGE PREPARATION:
The primary Marriage Preparation Program includes but is not limited to the following:
THE INITIAL INTERVIEW WITH THE PRIEST/DEACON:
The interview involves gathering specific information about you and your fiancée so as to assess your
particular needs in order to be well prepared for Holy Matrimony. The priest/deacon will administer
the Pre-Marital Inventory (PMI). The PMI is a questionnaire that enables the priest/deacon to assess your
particular circumstances. He will then be able to determine whether any special documents are needed
as well as the best means of helping you to prepare for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
After having completed the PMI you may be asked to supply additional documents if either one of you
have been:
previously married: Marriage License (s).
divorced: Divorce Decree(s).
3
Note: In some places, such as Mexico, people are required by the government to have a civil wedding first, before
they can get married in the Church. This is different from the way it is done in the United States of America. The
Marriage License is required for the priest/deacon to witness the vows with the authority of the Church and the
civil government, so that there is only one marriage ceremony.
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widowed: Death Certificate(s).
Previous marriage annulled: Declaration(s) of Nullity.
You may be asked to provide any other necessary documents.
The priest/deacon will then be able to set out your program of preparation.
THE WEDDING DATE & TIME:
Please remember that you are not free to book any dates or reserve any facilities before the priest/deacon
confirms that the date of the wedding has been reserved on the church calendar. If either of you have
been previously married (in a church, by a Justice of the Peace, or by common law) one or more times no
date can be set until the proper documentation is assembled and it is determined that all parties are free
to marry. 4
The possible times for weddings to be scheduled are Saturdays, 12:00 p.m., 2:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. These
times are scheduled on an availability basis only and may not be scheduled independent of the
priest/deacon.
The wedding rehearsal will normally be scheduled at 6:00 p.m., or 7:30 p.m., in the evening on the
Friday before the wedding day.
THE FOCCUS INSTRUMENT:
The Foccus is not a test. The only way in which you can fail this instrument is in the event that you are
dishonest in your responses. The Foccus is an instrument that is utilized in assessing and increasing the
communications skills of the couple. It is a very worthwhile instrument that provides important topics
for you to focus on in your conversation.
After having taken the instrument bring the completed answer sheet in with the question booklet to
the office for the priest/deacon for processing. When processed, you will receive a printed report that
compares your answers in particular categories which are grouped into areas of agreement and areas of
disagreement. You, as a couple, should sit down together and review your responses and discuss what
you intended by your responses.
All couples are required to participate in the primary marriage preparation program. You will be able to
select from the possible options including the Engaged Encounter Weekend and the Sponsor Couple Program.
THE ENGAGED ENCOUNTER WEEKEND:
This weekend begins on Friday evening and runs to late Sunday afternoon. It is an instructional
weekend given by the Diocese of Galveston - Houston's Family Life Office.
You will be responsible for paying the registration fee which includes room and board. Advanced
registration (two to three months) is required. If you along with the priest/deacon agree that this
approach would be to your benefit the priest/deacon will supply the brochure registration form.
THE SPONSOR COUPLE PROGRAM:
This program consists of a series of (usually six) meetings between you and your fiancée and a sponsor
couple. The discussion includes topics such as: your respective roles and expectations in marriage,
sources of conflict, values and marital intimacy. There is no charge for this program. If it is determined
that this is the best approach for you the priest/deacon will contact the coordinators of the sponsor
couples and submit your names and phone numbers. The sponsor couple will then contact you. The
4
If an annulment is required you may not go through the preparation process and no date may be set for the
wedding until a declaration of nullity is obtained from the Tribunal Office.
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meetings are held in the home of the sponsor couple, usually in the evening. Please be aware of the fact
that these couples volunteer their time and home to serve you. Don't take their time and the
appointment for granted. If, for a serious reason, you have to cancel and reschedule a meeting with the
sponsor couple please be sure to call them as soon as you know that you are not going to be able to keep
the appointment.
SECOND MEETING WITH PRIEST/DEACON:
The second meeting with the priest/deacon will be to review the Foccus with you.
THIRD MEETING WITH THE PRIEST/DEACON:
After the review of the Foccus has been completed the priest/deacon continues the
theological/sacramental preparation with a focus on the Sacrament of Matrimony as a way of life and
sharing in the mission of the Church.
FOURTH MEETING WITH THE PRIEST/DEACON:
This meeting involves preparing the wedding liturgy: the priest/deacon will go over the preparations for
the wedding liturgy with you. Please be sure to have read all the following guidelines and that you have
made all the appropriate selections in the Together for Life booklet.
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING:
You will attend classes that will give you important information concerning the regulation of births and
the training necessary to insure that you are able to use morally acceptable means to exercise the
regulation of births if for a grave reason you determine you should not conceive at a given time within
your marriage and family life. You will be provided a certificate for your attendance and successful
completion of these classes. Please turn this in to the priest/deacon to be placed in your file.
SPIRITUAL PREPARATION:
Holy Matrimony is one of the Church’s seven sacraments. These sacraments are means by which Christ
intends to sanctify his people.
These sacraments are not magic. In order to be most fully effective, they require our deliberate and
active cooperation. We must seek to dispose ourselves to receive God’s grace; exercising the Catholic
way of life so as to realize the benefits and fruits of that grace to the fullest degree possible.
Couples preparing to enter into the celebration of the sacrament of Matrimony will seek to further their
conversion in faith and to advance their commitment to Christ and His Church. In order to do so the
couple is to intensify their spiritual life by the following means:
the Rosary and other devotional practices
daily personal prayer with the use of sacred scripture
communal prayer as a couple
regular periods of adoration of the Blessed Sacrament
making a spiritual retreat
spiritual reading
attendance and active participation at holy Mass on a frequency that exceeds the minimal
requirements of Sundays a Holy Days of Obligation
Frequent celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation & Confession before Marriage- the
couple should enter into the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony with a pure soul and a clear
conscience. The couple is to remember to go to celebrate the Sacrament of Penance at the time
leading up to the rehearsal or before the wedding.
Active participation in adult education
Active participation in the Church’s spiritual and charitable works of service.
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THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY:
The priest/deacon will give you a book entitled Together for Life. This book will be very helpful in
selecting options of readings and prayers for the wedding. Couples should take a number of factors into
consideration when making decisions about the wedding. One important question is whether or not it
would be with Mass or without Mass.
A Wedding with Mass
A wedding liturgy within the context of Mass includes the celebration of the Eucharist and the
distribution of Holy Communion. This is most fitting when both parties are Catholic and practice their
faith on a consistent basis. If this is your preference you will want to discuss this with the
priest/deacon.
A wedding within the context of Mass will usually last an hour (more or less) depending on a number
of variable factors.
A Wedding outside of Mass
You might prefer to request a wedding outside of Mass if:
one of the fiancées is a non-Catholic,
either of the families are non-Catholic,
the couple and/or their family are non-practicing Catholics,
a large percentage of the people in attendance are non-Catholic and/or non-practicing Catholics
-- it may be preferable to celebrate the wedding liturgy outside of the context of Mass. This
would be so as to avoid the discomfort of having a liturgy in which the assembly does not know
how to respond to the various parts of the Mass. The couple may choose this option if they
would like to eliminate the confusion and awkwardness connected with our inability to give
Holy Communion to non-Catholics.
A wedding outside of Mass will take approximately a half of an hour of time (more or less).
LITURGICAL INSTRUCTIONS:
The Church’s worship is the action of Christ in which we are privileged to participate. It is directed to
the Father and empowered by the Holy Spirit for the sanctification of His People. As such, the Church’s
worship is never a private affair. It belongs to the entire Church – the Communion of the Saints – and
its exercise is subject to the disciplines and regulations mandated by the Church’s legitimate authority,
that is, the pope and the bishops united with him. These regulations and disciplines are to be faithfully
carried out in the parishes by priests and deacons.
The Pontifical Council for the Family instructs us that in preparation for marriage and in the
celebration of Holy Matrimony …
“To achieve a style of celebration at once restrained and noble…”5
“Care should be taken that the details of the marriage celebration are characterized by a restrained, simple and authentic
style. The festive tone should not be disturbed by excessive display”.6
We are obliged to set aside all superficiality and vanity. We must see to it that our worship is marked
by noble simplicity characteristic of authentic Roman Catholic ritual. When carried out with humility,
obedience and love, our worship will enable us to experience the awe, wonder, grandeur magnificence
and sacredness that is always present in the celebration of the Christian Mystery.
5
Ibid. #67
6 Preparation For The Sacrament Of Marriage, Pontifical Council For The Family, 13, May 1996, The Vatican City State.
#71
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The couple is permitted to exercise certain options such as in choosing from the selections for readings
of Sacred Scripture and selecting from among the options of prayers. However, the one who possesses
the legitimate competence to determine what takes place in the wedding is the priest or deacon. While
the couple may have seen in various places and times at other weddings (sadly, even at other Catholic
churches) innovations and novelties that appear to be “nice” or ‘appealing”, they may not determine for
themselves or place pressure on the priest or deacon regarding the processions, rites, symbols, gestures,
postures, etc. and the manner in which they are to be conducted. This is not open for discussion.
Marriage is to be celebrated, ideally in the parish community in which one lives and in which the couple
will be living out their covenanted life with God, His Church, and one another. With that in mind, the
relevant ministries of the parish will assume their normal duties in weddings.
THE CHURCH:
The church is the House of God and the Gate of Heaven. It is the sacred place wherein our God is truly
present in the Blessed Sacrament of the Eucharist which is reserved in the tabernacle. The church is a
sacred place. In everything we do: the rehearsal, set-up and decorating for the celebration, the assembly
of family and guests before the wedding, the actual wedding and recessional, photos after the wedding,
and clean-up following the departure of the assembly and the wedding party - everything should be
done with a spirit of reverence and conduct of behavior that respects the presence of God in whose
midst we come to worship.
Everyone who takes part in a wedding, whether in attendance, standing, or exercising a ministry, will
be expected to conduct themselves in a manner that is in keeping with this reality. Food and drink are
not permitted in the church with the exception of cases of medical need. Chewing gum is not permitted
in church at any time, whether at the rehearsal or the wedding. The Groom and Bride and their wedding
party are prohibited from consuming any alcoholic beverages before the rehearsal and the wedding.
Florists and photographers/video technicians are no exception. Talking is to be kept to a minimum and
only in a low volume (whisper). It is the responsibility of the couple to ensure that their guests are
informed of these prohibitions.
DRESS:
The dress of all parties for the wedding is not to be determined by criteria depending on factors such as
personal style, taste, or fashion. The dress code is determined by the objective reality of the dignity of
God, His Church, our dignity as baptized Christians, and the dignity of the Sacrament of Matrimony.
While this does not necessarily demand tuxedoes and lavish gowns, it does mandate the exercise of the
Christian virtues of respect, decency and modesty. The Groom and Bride as well as those standing in
the wedding are to meet the minimum standards for anyone ministering in any liturgical function: men,
including young men, must wear a coat and tie and women modest dresses or pant suits. (Modest should be understood as
covering the back and shoulders, with sleeves, no plunging neckline and no more than 2 inches above the top of the knee).
Indeed, these are an appropriate standard for all present for any act of worship
The dress code for those present for the rehearsal before the wedding is to uphold the same Christian
virtues. All are to wear clothing that is modest and respectful, clean and neat without tears or holes or
advertisements, graphic images or slogans. In that vein, the following are prohibited: short pants for
men or women, tank tops, tee shirts, sleeveless, backless, plunging necklines that reveal cleavage, flip
flops, etc.
SUNDAY OBLIGATION:
The couple is to inform all those involved in the wedding that the wedding liturgy, even if it is a Mass
does not satisfy the obligation to attend Mass on Sunday. Failure to fulfill one’s Sunday obligation,
without a gravely serious reason constitutes a mortal sin. One may not ordinarily receive Holy
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Communion without having confessed all their mortal sins to a priest in the Sacrament of Penance
(confession).
THOSE WHO ASSIST IN THE WEDDING LITURGY
Altar Servers:
If your wedding takes place within holy Mass the parish will arrange to have altar servers to assist the
priest.
Lectors & Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion:
Lectors (readers) and Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion are to be selected from those who
are trained, approved and officially commissioned for service in our parish church. This is because they
are to be practicing Catholics, if they are married, they must be in a valid Catholic sacramental
marriage. Their life style should be in keeping with the Gospel of Jesus Christ which is reflected
Catholic in the teachings of the Catholic Church. They are to be living the Catholic way of life. The only
way we can be certain these criteria are met is by utilizing those ministers and Extraordinary Ministers
of the Eucharis from our parish church.
Bride’s Maids & Groom’s Men:
The bride’s maids and groom’s men must not exceed five (5) of each, including the best man and the
maid of honor.
Flower Girl & Ring Bearer:
These may be permitted, but if included in the procession must be at least five (5) years of age as an
absolute minimum. They are not to be over fourteen years of age (14). Only one Flower Girl and one ring
bearer allowed.
WEDDING RINGS:
If the rings are carried in by a ring bearer the rings should be attached to the pillow in such a way that
they will not easily fall off, but can be easily removed by the best man. Otherwise, the rings should be
entrusted to the best man. The best man is to present the rings to the priest/deacon during the marriage
ritual.
MUSIC:
Any and all arrangements for music must be handled through and in consultation with our parish
Director of Music. The couple, when working with the parish music director, is to keep in mind that the
music is to be in keeping with the nature and dignity of sacred worship and based upon the Catholic
Church's principles for liturgical music. All music for weddings must be sacred in quality and character,
in its musicality and its lyrical composition consistent with our Catholic beliefs concerning marriage
and family life. Therefore, sacred music and classical instrumental music is encouraged. Secular "top 40",
romantic (sentimental), "piano bar" music, etc. is not acceptable. The aforementioned forms of secular
and popular music, if desired, are more suited for the festivities at the reception after the wedding.
DECORATIONS AND FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS:
Decorations and floral arrangements may be brought in to enhance and highlight the beauty of the
wedding and the church environment. However, the arrangements are to avoid excessive display and
should be marked by noble simplicity in keeping with the sacred dignity of the Church’s rites. Any
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plans that you have for decorations of any kind must be prepared in consultation with and approved by
the priest/deacon. Couples will keep in mind that the church will be decorated in a style that reflects
the liturgical season of the year. The church’s decorations may not be moved, changed or altered in any
way to accommodate the decorations for the wedding or the bride’s color scheme. The couple will have
to take into account the liturgical season in which their wedding is scheduled and the style of
decorations that will be in the church at that time. If the couple want to provide the floral arrangements
that will remain in church that entire weekend they should let the priest/deacon know well in advance
so that he may inform those responsible for art and environment in the church. The couple’s floral
arrangements are to be made in a style that is in concert with and compliments the overall décor of the
church for the particular liturgical season.
CHURCH AVAILABILITY FOR SET-UP & CLEAN-UP:
On any given weekend we may have numerous events ranging from funerals, to weddings, to
quinceaños, to confessions, to the Saturday evening Vigil Mass. The church will be available no earlier
than one hour before the wedding to allow for floral, video/camera set-up etc. We cannot allow any
more time for set-up as this would cause disruption to other worship events in the church. Please be
considerate of those whose event comes before and those whose event follows yours. You will need to
be conscientious about cleaning up and putting the church back in order within 1 hour after the
wedding. Others may be setting up for their event at the same time as your clean-up following your
wedding.
SANCTUARY:
The sanctuary, beginning with the first step up, is the elevated area on which the altar, the lectern, the
pulpit or ambo, the presider’s chair and the tabernacle are located. This is an especially sacred part of
the church. As such it is not open for general traffic. Only those who have a legitimate reason and
authorized function are permitted to enter the sanctuary of the church. All who enter the sanctuary are
required to conduct themselves in a manner of reverence and respect for our Lord’s presence in the
tabernacle. Talking is to be limited to only that which is absolutely necessary and even then, in a low
volume (whisper). No one is permitted to move anything, chairs, candle stands, etc., in the sanctuary.
ALTAR AND TABERNACLE:
No arrangements ornaments or objects of any kind may be placed on the altar table or on the pedestal
for the tabernacle. The access to and visibility of the altar and tabernacle are not to be blocked or
impeded by any floral arrangements or candelabra, etc.
PEWS:
The florist may place decorations at the ends of pews along the main aisle only if they can be placed in
such a way that they do no damage to the wood or finish. Nothing may be taped, pinned, or applied by
adhesives.
UNITY CANDLE, CANDELABRA ETC.:
The so called "unity candle" is not a part of the Church's ritual nor is it based in any authentic cultural
tradition. It should never distract from the authentic and dominant symbol of unity which is expressed
in the exchange of vows and the blessing of and the exchange of rings. If the couple have a strong desire
for the unity candle it will be permitted only on condition that it does not take on a disproportional
importance and that it is utilized as a votive candle that symbolizes the entrustment of their marriage
under the protection of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The candle will be placed in front of the mosaic image
of Our Lady of Perpetual Help or the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe. The individual candles may be lit
by parents of the couple before the wedding begins. The couple will be permitted to light the candle
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after the general intercessions for weddings outside of Mass, or following Holy Communion for
weddings within Mass.
Any floral arrangements, candle stands or candelabra that are placed on the aisles or in the sanctuary
must be placed in such a way as to not clutter the aisles or sanctuary. Candle stands and candelabra
may not be placed in the sanctuary if it is a wedding within Mass. In weddings outside of Mass the
candle stands or candelabra must be limited to locations that don’t impede the movements of the
officiating clergy or other ministers and away from the priest’s and deacon's chair, the altar, the pulpit,
tabernacle, etc. so as not to obstruct the priest or ministers’ free movement to and from them. Candle
stands may only be used if they are placed with a drop cloth so as to protect the furnishings and
carpeting from melted wax. If the couple wishes to have such appointments they are required to seek
permission from the priest/deacon first. If approved, it will be the responsibility of the couple to arrange
for these appointments to be set-up and for their removal. The church does not provide candelabra.
CLEAN-UP:
The church must be left in a clean and neat arrangement as there will be other liturgies following your
wedding. It is advisable that you designate a responsible person(s) to see to it that these matters are
taken care of for you - perhaps the florist in conjunction with someone from the wedding party. Failure
to leave the church in a clean and orderly condition or failure to observe the prohibitions of rice, flower
petals, confetti, etc. will result in the loss of their maintenance deposit.
FLORIST'S AGREEMENT WITH THE COUPLE AND THE CHURCH:
These same guidelines are included in a sheet that is to be given to the florist. They are to read it, sign it,
and return the signed acknowledgement form to you who are to turn it in to the priest/deacon for our
records. In this way we can keep track of who is coming to the Church at what times and uphold the
terms of this agreement in a responsible and professional manner.
The opportunity for florists, photographers, and other service providers to provide their services is a
privilege - not a right ! Therefore, it is important to know and understand that the faithful observance of
these rules is non-negotiable. If these guidelines are not observed the result could be a forfeiture of the
privilege of providing the service in the future. The florist, photographer/video technician, and the
couple are to observe these guidelines.
PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEO:
You are welcome to have a professional or an amateur photographer/video technician on hand to
capture your wedding on film or videotape. It is important to remember, however, that the wedding is
first and foremost an act of worship. It is not a photo session. As a result the wedding liturgy will not be
subordinated to the goals and task of the photographer. You need to be aware of and make your
photographer aware of the following rules:
PROCESSION:
The photographer/video technician is forbidden to attempt to control or interrupt the procession or the
punctual beginning of the wedding.
SANCTUARY:
The sanctuary, beginning with the first step up, is the elevated area on which the altar, the lectern, the
pulpit or ambo, the presider’s chair and the tabernacle are located. This is an especially sacred part of
the church. As such it is not open for general traffic. Only those who have a legitimate reason and
authorized function are permitted to enter the sanctuary of the church. All who enter the sanctuary are
required to conduct themselves in a manner of reverence and respect for our Lord’s presence in the
tabernacle. Talking is to be limited to only that which is absolutely necessary and even then, in a low
volume (whisper). No one is permitted to move anything, chairs, candle stands, etc., in the sanctuary.
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The photographer/video technician is required to talk with the priest/deacon so that they may
determine what areas the priest/deacon considers to be "off-limits" to the photographer/video
technician.
DISTRACTION:
At no time is the photographer/video technician to become a distraction to the presider priest/deacon,
the couple, or the assembly. In order to avoid any distractions the photographer/video technician is
asked to move around in a discreet fashion.
TIME LIMITS:
The photographer/video technician is allowed up to 15 minutes before the beginning of the procession.
The photographer/video technician must never cause the procession to assemble and /or to begin later
than the scheduled time of the wedding.
The photographer/video technician is allowed 20 minutes following the wedding's conclusion to take
group photos. The priest/deacon will be happy to stand in pictures. The photographer/video technician
should keep in mind that it is customary to take the pictures of the couple with the priest/deacon first
so that the priest/deacon may be able to move on to other commitments.
PHOTOGRAPHER/VIDEO TECHNICIAN'S AGREEMENT WITH THE COUPLE AND THE CHURCH:
These same guidelines are included in a sheet that is to be given, by you, to the photographer/video
technician. They are to read it, sign it, and return it to you who are to turn it in to the priest/deacon for
our records. In this way we can keep track of who is coming to the Church at what times and uphold
the terms of this agreement in a responsible and professional manner.
The opportunity to provide a service is a privilege - not a right! Therefore, it is important to know and
understand that the faithful observance of these rules is non-negotiable. If these guidelines are not
observed the result could be a forfeiture of the privilege of providing the service in the future. The
photographer/video technician and the couple are to observe these guidelines.
VISITING CLERGY:
At times a couple will want to have a priest or deacon who is a family friend or relative witness their
vows in Holy Matrimony. If you have such an interest please discuss it with the priest/deacon during
the first meeting in your preparation.
FACILITIES:
CHURCH:
The Church use fee and the maintenance deposit serve to secure the reservation of the church for the
specified date. The church has not been reserved for the wedding/convalidation if the fee and deposit
have not been paid, if it has not been confirmed in the calendar for the church, and if the priest or
deacon has not confirmed that it is clear on his personal calendar.
Furnishings:
The furnishings in the sanctuary as well as in the rest of the church are not to be moved without
explicit permission of the priest/deacon.
Rice, etc.:
Rice, Bird Seed, Flower Petals, Confetti, etc. are not to be used anywhere in the premises before, during,
or after the wedding. The use of these materials causes a real cleaning problem for the church which has
many liturgies throughout the weekend. These items not only cause a mess, but they pose a safety
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hazard for those who could slip and fall. Please be considerate of all who use the church especially the
frail and elderly. Failure to observe these limitations will result in forfeiture of the maintenance deposit.
Clean-up:
The church should be left in a neat and clean condition at the end of the wedding. Please be sure to
designate a responsible person (perhaps a bride's maid or a groom's man) to coordinate clean-up efforts
immediately at the conclusion of the wedding and photographs. Remember that the church is going to
be used immediately following your wedding. The church must be left in a clean, neat, and quiet by
4:30pm so as to allow people to gather and pray before Confessions and the Vigil Mass. Failure to
observe these limitations will result in forfeiture of the maintenance deposit.
BRIDE'S DRESSING ROOM:
The bride may dress in the Cry Room in the church (See the church diagram). The Cry Room will be
unlocked one hour prior to the wedding. The room should be left in a neat and clean condition. All
personal effects should be removed at the end of the wedding. Care should be taken to not disturb the
furnishings in the room. Please be sure to designate a responsible person (perhaps a bride's maid) to
coordinate clean-up efforts immediately at the conclusion of the wedding.
PARISH HALL:
The Parish Hall is made available to registered parishioners only who have been registered and
financially supporting the parish for a minimum of six months. The Parish Hall cannot be rented to
couples, family members, or their representatives when seeking its use for receptions involving non-
sacramental marriages. The Parish Hall is made available on a contracted rental basis only. There is a fee
for the use of the hall. All of the details may be reviewed upon receipt of the contract. One may obtain a
rental contract from the parish office on weekdays during regular business hours.
THE RECEPTION:
Please remember that the reception is an extension of the celebration of marriage as a religious act of
faith. Therefore, the couple should require of all those making arrangements for the reception that the
faith and morals of the Catholic religion are being witnessed to in a way that exalts the virtues of
modesty, noble simplicity, chastity, pure spousal love, and the beautiful dignity of family life. This is the
kind of atmosphere that should be created and attitude with which the celebration is carried out. This
will be reflected in the overall conduct of the couple, the wedding party, family members and guests.
Care should be exercised in the decorations being displayed, the music and the dance, extent of the use
of alcohol, decoration of the couple’s car, etc. It is sad to say that at times “pranks” have taken place that
are completely unacceptable - such as decorating the couple’s car with the writing of immodest and
sexually inappropriate images, words and phrases as well as the attachment to the car such items as
condoms and feminine napkins, etc. These kinds of practices serve only to take the celebration to a level
that is beneath the dignity of Christian marriage and, as such, are scandalous. No such practices should
ever take place at a celebration that involves Christians. These practices will not be tolerated on Church
property.
FEES & STIPENDS:
Stewardship is a very important in the life of the Church. Good stewards are grateful for the gifts of
faith and all that is provided us by God. At times, people cannot afford to offer financial support to the
church. These cases are never denied the rites and services of the Church. All that is required in such
cases is to discuss the matter with the priest/deacon. Other times we have seen people use the church
facilities, as well as human and ministerial services, spending a great deal of money on extravagant
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secondary considerations such as arrangements of flowers, limousines, etc., while showing little or no
stewardship or gratitude to God & His Church. A lot of financial resources are required for providing
facilities, their upkeep, and the human resources that are dedicated to creating the conditions that make
it possible to have weddings and all the other rites and services that are provided for our people.
Those who choose not to contribute 10% of their total expenditures will want to be aware of the
following considerations:
PREPARATION MATERIALS FEE:
This fee of $20.00 is due at the time of registration for marriage preparation.
CHURCH BUILDING USE:
Parishioners:
Parishioners are encouraged to make a donation of (either the bride, the groom, or their respective
parents must be formally registered, contributing, and active members of the parish for a minimum of
six months before applying for marriage) $100.00 for the use of the church to cover costs for lights, air
conditioning/heating. Please bear in mind the need for a commitment of stewardship to sustain the
church so that these minimal costs may be extended to you and to others.
Non-Parishioners:
Non-Parishioners who are Catholics wishing to marry in our church, there is a fee of $500.00.
MAINTENANCE DEPOSIT:
The deposit for registered, contributing, and active members of the parish for a minimum of six months
before applying for marriage is $200 – this deposit is refundable if the church and grounds are left in
clean orderly condition and these guidelines are faithfully followed.
PARISH HALL:
Parish Hall rental contract is by separate arrangements.
MUSICIANS:
You will need to negotiate the stipends or fees directly with the musician(s) whose services you engage
(Remember that all arrangements for music must be approved by the parish Music Director).
ALTAR SERVERS:
If there are altar servers for your wedding within Mass you should be prepared to give them a stipend.
The recommended stipend is $10 - $20 per altar server. It is customarily the duty of the best man to see
to it that the altar servers receive their gift after the wedding.
PRIEST/DEACON:
The Church does not charge for the sacraments. It is appropriate (not obligatory) however, to give the
priest/deacon a gift of appreciation for the time and effort that he invests in helping you to prepare for
your wedding and helping with the arrangements.
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APPENDIX
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COUPLES' CHECK LIST
____ Registered in the parish, contributing and actively involved in parish life for at least 6 months
before beginning marriage preparation.
Documents
____ New Baptismal Certificate for each Catholic party. (Including notations of First Communion &
Confirmation).
____ Natural Family Planning Certificate.
____ Marriage License (obtained within maximum 21 days and minimum 3 days before wedding).
____ All necessary Church dispensations and/or permissions (see the priest/deacon).
____ Marriage license from any & all previous marriages.
____ Divorce decrees from any/all previous marriages.
____ Death Certificate for any/all previous spouses who have since died.
____ Declaration of nullity for any/all previous marriages that have been annulled (by the Church
Tribunal).
____ Sacramental celebration of Reconciliation before the wedding or convalidation.
____ Materials fee date paid:__________________
____ Church Building use fee paid: ______________.
____ Maintenance deposit date paid: __________________.
____ Priest’s/deacon’s gift (not obligatory).
____ Musician’s Fees date paid: __________________
____ Altar servers’ stipends.
____ Other: __________________________________
____ Other: __________________________________
____ Other: __________________________________
____ Other: __________________________________
Notes:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
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FLORIST'S AGREEMENT
To be given to the florist.
Guidelines:
It is important to remember that a wedding is first and foremost an act of Sacred Worship. It is not a floral showplace per
se. The use of flower arrangements and other decorations are for the adornment of the church as a sacred place wherein
we gather to worship our God. The church and the liturgy will not be subordinated to the goals and task of the florist. As
a florist (professional or volunteer) providing services at Shrine of the True Cross Church you are to be aware of and
agree to observe the following rules.
Decorations and Floral Arrangements
may be brought in to enhance and highlight the beauty of the wedding and the church environment. However,
the arrangements are to avoid excessive display and should be marked by noble simplicity in keeping with the
sacred dignity of the Church’s rites. Any plans that you have for decorations of any kind must be prepared in
consultation with and approved by the priest/deacon. Couples and their florist will keep in mind that the church
will be decorated in a style that reflects the liturgical season of the year. The church’s decorations may not be
moved, changed or altered in any way to accommodate the decorations for the wedding or the bride’s color
scheme. The couple & florist will have to take into account the liturgical season in which their wedding is
scheduled and the style of decorations that will be in the church at that time. If the couple want to provide the
floral arrangements that will remain in church that entire weekend they should let the priest/deacon know well
in advance so that he may inform those responsible for art and environment in the church. The floral
arrangements and all decorations are to be made in a style that is in concert with and compliments the overall
décor of the church for the particular liturgical season.
Church Availability for Set-Up & Clean-up:
On any given weekend we may have numerous events ranging from funerals, to weddings, to confessions, to the
Saturday evening Vigil Mass. The church will be available no earlier than one hour before the wedding to allow
for floral, video/camera set-up etc. We cannot allow any more time for set-up as this would cause disruption to
other worship events in the church. Please be considerate of those whose event precedes and those whose event
follows yours. You will need to be conscientious about cleaning up and putting the church back in order within 1
hour after the wedding. Others may be setting up for their event at the same time as your clean-up following your
wedding.
Sanctuary:
The sanctuary, beginning with the first step up, is the elevated area on which the altar, the lectern, the pulpit or
ambo, the presider’s chair and the tabernacle are located. This is an especially sacred part of the church. As such
it is not open for general traffic. Only those who have a legitimate reason and authorized function are permitted
to enter the sanctuary of the church. All who enter the sanctuary are required to conduct themselves in a manner
of reverence and respect for our Lord’s presence in the tabernacle. Talking is to be limited to only that which is
absolutely necessary and even then, in a low volume (whisper). No one is permitted to move anything, chairs,
candle stands, etc., in the sanctuary.
Altar and Tabernacle:
No arrangements ornaments or objects of any kind may be placed on the altar table or on the pedestal for the
tabernacle. The access to and visibility of the altar and tabernacle are not to be blocked or impeded by any floral
arrangements or candelabra, etc.
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Pews:
The florist may place decorations at the ends of pews along the main aisle only if they can be placed in such a way
that they do no damage to the wood or finish. Nothing may be taped, pinned, or applied by adhesives.
Unity Candle, Candelabra Etc.:
The so called "unity candle" is not a part of the Church's ritual nor is it based in any authentic cultural tradition.
It should never distract from the authentic and dominant symbol of unity which is expressed in the exchange of
vows and the blessing of and the exchange of rings. If the couple have a strong desire for the unity candle it will
be permitted only on condition that it does not take on a disproportional importance and that it is utilized as a
votive candle that symbolizes the entrustment of their marriage under the protection of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
The candle will be placed in front of the mosaic image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help or the image of Our Lady of
Guadalupe. The individual candles may be lit by parents of the couple before the wedding begins. The couple will
be permitted to light the candle after the general intercessions for weddings outside of Mass, or following Holy
Communion for weddings within Mass.
Any floral arrangements, candle stands or candelabra that are placed on the aisles or in the sanctuary must be
placed in such a way as to not clutter the aisles or sanctuary. Candle stands and candelabra may not be placed in
the sanctuary if it is a wedding within Mass. In weddings outside of Mass the candle stands or candelabra must
be limited to locations that don’t impede the movements of the officiating clergy or other ministers and away
from the priest’s and deacon's chair, the altar, the pulpit, tabernacle, etc. so as not to obstruct the priest or
ministers’ free movement to and from them. Candle stands may only be used if they are placed with a drop cloth
so as to protect the furnishings and carpeting from melted wax. If the couple wishes to have such appointments
they are required to seek permission from the priest/deacon first. If approved, it will be the responsibility of the
couple to arrange for these appointments to be set-up and for their removal. The church does not provide
candelabra.
Clean-up:
The church must be left in a clean and neat arrangement as there will be other liturgies following your wedding.
It is advisable that you designate a responsible person(s) to see to it that these matters are taken care of for you -
perhaps the florist in conjunction with someone from the wedding party. Failure to leave the church in a clean
and orderly condition or failure to observe the prohibitions of rice, flower petals, confetti, etc. will result in the
loss of their maintenance deposit.
Professionalism and Conduct: Florists and/or any persons who are involved in setting-up arrangements are expected to
conduct themselves in a manner that is proper to a house of prayer, a holy place, the House of God. Talking is to be kept
to a minimum and only in a low volume (whisper).
Florist's agreement with the couple and the church: These same guidelines are included in a packet that has been given
to the couple. They are to read and sign them so they can be returned, by the couple, to the priest/deacon for our records.
In this way we can keep track of who is coming to the Church at what times and uphold the terms of this agreement in a
responsible and professional manner.
The opportunity for florists, photographers, and other service providers to provide their services is a privilege -
not a right ! Therefore, it is important to know and understand that the faithful observance of these rules is non-
negotiable. If these guidelines are not observed the result could be a forfeiture of the privilege of providing the
service in the future. The florist, photographer/video technician, and the couple are to observe these guidelines.
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