Wedding Booklet - Lutheran Church of the Cross
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Wedding Booklet
1701 8th Street SW
Altoona, Iowa 50009
(515) 967-4818
www.LccAltoona.org
Last update: April 2021
Wedding Booklet
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Congratulations ......................................................................... 3
A Word about Weddings ........................................................... 3
Getting Started ........................................................................... 4
Fees ............................................................................................ 4
Music at Your Wedding ............................................................. 6
Sound at Your Wedding ............................................................. 6
Photography and Video at Your Wedding .................................. 6-7
Bridal Worksheets ...................................................................... 8
Order of Service for Christian Marriage ..................................... 9
Suggested Bible Readings .......................................................... 14
Suggested Music Selections …………………………………………………….. 15
Wedding Worksheet .................................................................. 16
Processional Worksheet ............................................................ 17
Expectations of the Wedding Party ........................................... 19
Guidelines for Decorating and Clean Up at your Wedding ......... 20-21
Remarriage, Blended Families and Weddings ............................ 22-24
Wedding Fees Worksheet …………………………………………………………. 25
2 4/15/2021Wedding Booklet CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR APPROACHING WEDDING! We count it a blessing to help you prepare for both your wedding and marriage. We pray that God will bless you both as we work together in planning your wedding day and that your marriage will reflect His love. Please read the following pages thoroughly as they contain information that you will need to know to make your wedding go smoothly. JUST A WORD ABOUT WEDDINGS… We do weddings through LCC because God loves weddings and we want to help you discover His best for your marriage. Weddings scheduled through Lutheran Church of the Cross, will, by their very nature, be Christian in content and format—that means that we bless people in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. The content of the meditation will invite couples to look to Jesus Christ as the source of life and love. The readings included in the wedding ceremony will be selected from the Bible, because we believe it to be God’s inspired Word. We believe that marriage is ultimately a spiritual union between one man and one woman that seeks to express God’s desire for all couples—that the two become “one flesh” (Genesis 2: 24). For more information about our congregation, please visit our website at www.lccaltoona.org. 3 4/15/2021
Wedding Booklet
GETTING STARTED
To schedule a wedding date, complete the Marriage Request Form online at
www.lccaltoona.org/life-events.
A wedding is considered scheduled when a $100 deposit has been made and the
date confirmed by a LCC Pastor. Until the deposit is received, the date is not
held. Deposits may be made via check payable to Lutheran Church of the Cross,
cash, or through our online giving page at www.lccaltoona.org/give in the
“other” category.
Wedding Fees – OnSite Weddings:
o Pastoral Care $175
o Wedding Coordinator $175
o Sound Tech $ 75
o Housekeeping $ 75
o TOTAL FEES $500
Wedding Fees - Offsite Weddings:
o Offsite weddings performed by one of our pastors are subject to their
availability.
o The fee for an LCC pastor to do an offsite wedding within 30 miles of Des
Moines is $250. For any location beyond 30 miles, the pastor may add
mileage to this rate at their discretion.
The remainder of the fees may be paid to the church office or your Wedding
Coordinator at any time before your rehearsal. Make checks payable to
Lutheran Church of the Cross or go through our online giving page at
www.lccaltoona.org/give in the “other” category.
Officiants – All weddings held at Lutheran Church of the Cross will be officiated
by one of our LCC Pastors.
You will be assigned a Wedding Coordinator two months in advance of your
wedding. Your Wedding Coordinator will:
Be available to you throughout the planning process
Arrange your Ceremony Planning Meeting
Oversee your Rehearsal
Attend / Assist at your Wedding
PREMARITAL COUNSELING: Premarital counseling is an opportunity for couples
to continue to grow in their relationship with one another and with God. It gives
couples great insight into their relationship (both strengths and areas of growth)
and provides tools to help make their marriage strong. Couples getting married
at LCC complete an online assessment ($35.00 per person), attend pre-marriage
workshops, and meet personally with an LCC pastor.
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Premarriage workshops are a requirement for all weddings held at LCC. Other
than the online assessment fee, the cost of the workshops and pastoral meeting
is included in the fees for the wedding.
The Pastor officiating the ceremony will contact the couple to set up the
individual counseling within the two months prior to the ceremony.
You will be required to have your marriage license.
Bring the license to the rehearsal and give to the
Wedding Coordinator at your rehearsal.
Polk County Marriage Licenses: 286-3781
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MUSIC AT YOUR WEDDING
LCC has pre-recorded “Wedding Music” with traditional wedding songs. You may use
those, or you may provide your own music. If you provide your own music, a sharable
Spotify playlist is preferred. CD’s are also an option, or MP3 files on a thumb drive.
ALL music selections must be approved by either the wedding coordinator or the pastor.
Vocalists and Pianists – Optional, additional fees apply
LCC has many talented vocalists and pianists who would be happy to help with your
wedding. The fee for a Pianist is $125, and for a vocalist is $75. Contact the church
office for a current list of musicians: 515-967-4818, or office@lccaltoona.org.
SOUND AT YOUR WEDDING
All LCC weddings require an LCC authorized and trained Sound Technician. This will
automatically be provided, and is included in the Wedding Fees. Lance Demers,
Worship Technology Coordinator, will schedule this person for you.
PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEOGRAPHY AT YOUR WEDDING
Photography
Photography is an important part of every wedding; however it can be disruptive if not
handled properly. Please pass on this page of guidelines to your photographer
(Professional or Non-professional)
1. Saturday weddings scheduled at 3:00 pm
Photographs are allowed in the Worship Center from 12:00 pm – 2:30 PM
Outdoor photography is allowed at any time.
Photographs in the Worship Center after the wedding are not possible
because of a late afternoon worship gathering.
(If you require the sanctuary after the ceremony, you must schedule your
wedding earlier in the day. The Worship Center must be clear by 4 pm).
2. Weddings at other times will arrange photography with their Wedding
Coordinator.
3. Photography at all LCC Wedding Ceremonies
Flash photography is not allowed during the ceremony.
Photographers are allowed to stand in the back or the side of the
sanctuary.
Photographers are allowed to use the balcony.
Photographers ARE NOT ALLOWED in the stage/altar area or the front of
the church during the ceremony.
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Video Recording at your Wedding –
Outside Videography
Outside videographers ARE allowed. There is no fee for outside videography.
LCC Videography - Optional, additional fees apply
LCC can provide basic video recording and live-streaming services. While this is not a
“heavily produced” video, we do have 3 camera angles and can capture the audio
through our sound system. We can also provide Live Stream through a Facebook Page
or YouTube channel, provided by the couple. Since the Live Stream also records the
service, we can give the recording to the couple on an 16GB (or larger) SD card.
The fee for this service is $75. Let your Wedding Coordinator know if you would
like this service.
Video Presentations at your Wedding * – Optional, additional fees apply
This is not a required part of the wedding program. This is a service that is available to
you should you choose to use it. We can project video onto the projection screen at the
front of the Worship Center. The bride and groom are responsible to put the
presentation together and it must be in MP4 format on a Jump Drive. The presentation
needs to be tested in the Worship Center at least 1 week prior to the wedding.
The fee for this service is $25. Let your Wedding Coordinator know if you would
like this service.
* Please note: These presentations take place either before the wedding while people
are being seated or after the wedding while people are being ushered out.
7 4/15/2021Wedding Booklet BRIDAL WORKSHEETS The following sheets are used for your Ceremony Planning Meeting. Your Wedding Service Coordinator will set up your meeting at least 60 days prior to your wedding. The Coordinators are here to help you through the planning process, if you have questions or would like to meet with your Coordinator earlier, please call them directly. We ask that you read these sheets, fill out any arrangements you have already made, and bring them to your meeting. Please note: The use of wagons to haul children down the center aisle can be dangerous. Wagons have no backs and children have often fallen out when suddenly jerked forward. The sloped floor tends to increase the speed at which they travel and those pulling the wagon may not be mature enough to handle the task. Please consider finding another way to involve little ones in the ceremony. 8 4/15/2021
Wedding Booklet
ORDER OF SERVICE FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
Prelude
This is music played as guests are being seated before the service.
Immediate family members are seated.
The Unity Candle individual candles may be lit at this time.
Groom and Pastor take their place in front of worship center.
Processional
Processional music begins, and the wedding party comes to the altar and stands in front
of the pastor.
The guests are invited to stand before the bride makes her entrance.
The father of the bride may accompany the bride to the front of the altar.
The Welcome
The Pastor welcomes guests to this wedding service.
Guests are encouraged to turn off cell phones, and reminded that flash photography is
not permitted during the service.
Any announcements the couple would like the Pastor to make would be shared with
guests at this time.
The Invocation
P: We gather this day, knowing that God shows up for weddings. And so we give our
attention to the Triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, as He is here with us today
to bless this marriage.
The Opening Prayer
P: Let us pray: We give you great thanks today for bringing ______________ &
_______________ together in love. We also thank you for all their family and friends
who have gathered with them to celebrate today. We ask that we would be attentive to
your presence here, that we may be filled with the joy and love and peace that only you
can bring. Bless this wedding. We pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Bible Passages: _______________________________________
_______________________________________
One or more passages from the Bible may be read.
Music may be inserted between the Bible passages, after the passages, or after the
sermon.
9 4/15/2021Wedding Booklet Sermon The Call to Marriage: P: The Lord God in his goodness created us male and female, and by the gift of marriage founded human community in a joy that begins now and is brought to perfection in the life to come. Because of sin, our age-old rebellion, the gladness of marriage can be overcast and the gift of the family can become a burden. But because God, who established marriage, continues still to bless it with his abundant and ever-present support, we can be sustained in our weariness and have our joy restored. _________________ and _________________, if it is your intention to share with each other your joys and sorrows and all that the years will bring, with your promises bind yourselves to each other as husband and wife. The bride hands her flowers to her matron/maid of honor. The couple faces one another and joins hands. Exchange of Vows The Pastor leads the bride and groom separately through the vows. VOW #1: I take you ________________, to be my wife/husband, from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us. VOW #2: I, ______________, take you, _____________, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death parts us, according to God’s holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge you my love. Exchanging of Rings The Pastor leads the couple separately as they exchange rings: I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness. Announcement of Marriage The couple joins hands. The Pastor places his hand over theirs and says: P: ___________________ & ___________________, by their promises before God and in the presence of this congregation, have bound themselves to one another as husband and wife. Blessed be the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit now and forever. Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder. Amen. Lighting of the Unity Candle The couple may light a unity candle at this time. The Wedding License is signed. A song may be sung or played during this time. 10 4/15/2021
Wedding Booklet The Blessing P: The Lord God, who created our first parents and established them in marriage, establish and sustain you, that you may find delight in each other and grow in holy love until your life’s end. Closing Prayers Let us pray: Lord God, You are good and You are faithful and Your love endures forever. We thank You for the joy which _____________ & _____________ have found in each other. Pour down Your grace upon them that they may fulfill the vows they have made this day and reflect Your steadfast love in their life-long faithfulness to each other. Use us gathered here today to support their life together; and from Your great source of strength give them power and patience, affection and understanding, courage, and love toward you, toward each other, and toward the world, that they may continue together in mutual growth according to your will in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The Lord’s Prayer Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespassed against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen. The Benediction P: And now may the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord look upon you with favor, and give you His peace. Amen. Presentation of Couple P: It is indeed my privilege to introduce to you for the very first time: _____________________________________________________________. The couple may kiss after the presentation. Recessional Music begins, the couple and wedding party exit the worship space. Postlude Other music may be played as the guests exit the worship space. 11 4/15/2021
Wedding Booklet
ORDER OF SERVICE FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE (sequential version)
The following should help you with the printing of your Wedding Bulletin. This will be
discussed in detail with your Coordinator. You can consult with the Coordinator about
both the scripture readings and music choices. The readings and music are usually
included in your bulletin.
Prelude
Choice of music: Circle one and list title below: Pianist Personal CD LCC CD
________________________________________________________
Processional Please see “Processional Worksheet”
_______________________________________________________
Welcome
Invocation and Opening Prayer
Reading of Scriptures (See page 9)
Reader _____________________
1. ______________________ 2. ______________________
Solo (Optional)
Choice of music: Circle one and list title below Pianist/Vocalist CD
________________________________________________________
Sermon
Call to Marriage
Exchange of Vows
Exchange of Rings
Announcement of Marriage
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Solo Choice of music during the lighting of the Unity Candle
Circle one and list title below: Pianist/Vocalist CD
_______________________________________________________
Lighting of the Unity Candle
(Delivery of flowers to parents and if desired, the parents come forward for the blessing)
Blessing for the Marriage
Closing Prayers
The Lord's Prayer
Benediction
Presentation of Couple Married name:
______________________________________________________
Recessional Choice of music Circle one and list title below: Pianist CD
_______________________________________________________
Postlude Choice of music Circle one and list title below: Pianist CD
_______________________________________________________
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Suggested Bible Readings for Weddings
Old Testament
Reference Theme
Genesis 1:26-28 Male and female, he created them
Genesis 2:20-24 Creation of woman
Genesis 9:8-17 God’s covenant with Noah
Joshua 24:15 “As for me and my house”
Ruth 1:16-17 Where you go, I will go
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 For everything there is a season
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one
Psalm 121 I lift my eyes to the hills
Proverbs 3:1-6, 13-18 Let not loyalty and faithfulness forsake you
Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-31 A good wife is more precious than jewels
Isaiah 30:21 This is the way, walk in it
Isaiah 54:10-14 My steadfast love will not depart from you
Hosea 2:19-20 I will betroth you to me forever
New Testament
Reference Theme
Matthew 5:1-10 The Beatitudes
Matthew 5:13-16 You are the light of the world
Matthew 6:19-21 Where your treasure is,
Matthew 7:24-29 A wise man built his house upon a rock
Matthew 22:36-40 The greatest commandment
Mark 10:6-9 What God has joined, let no man put
John 2:1-12 Jesus’ first miracle at the wedding in Cana
John 15:1-8 I am the vine and you are the branches
John 15:9-17 Love one another as I have loved you
Romans 12:9-12 Let love be genuine
1 Corinthians 13:4-13 The greatest of these is love
Ephesians 3:14-19 May you be grounded and rooted in love
Ephesians 5:21-33 Wives be subject to your husbands, husbands love
your wives
Colossians 3:12-17 Put on love, which binds everything together in
harmony
1 John 4:7-8, 12 Let us love one another
Revelation 19:5-9 The marriage of the Lamb
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SUGGESTED WEDDING SERVICE MUSIC
These songs are simply suggestions. Feel free to pick music that is meaningful to
you. Remember that your wedding is a worship service; therefore pick music that is
honoring and reflective of God’s vision for love and marriage.
Processionals/Recessionals
Air or Hornpipe from Water Music Handel
Bridal Chorus (Here Comes the Bride) Wagner
Canon in D Pachelbel
Finale from Water Music Handel
Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring Bach
Ode to Joy Beethoven
Spring (The Four Seasons) Vivaldi
Trumpet Tune Purcell
Trumpet Voluntary Clarke
Wedding March Mendelssohn
Wedding March/Marriage of Figaro Mozart
Congregational Songs
(You may choose to have the congregation sing a hymn or song during your wedding
service as a way of giving thanks to God and asking God’s blessing on your marriage.)
Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee
Borning Cry
All Creatures of Our God and King
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Solos
Ave Maria Schubert
How Beautiful
How He Loves David Crowder
I Will Be Here Steven Curtis Chapman
The Lord’s Prayer Malotte
The Prayer Charlotte Church/Josh Groban
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WEDDING WORKSHEET
Rehearsal Date: __________________________ Time:____________________
Wedding Date: __________________________ Time:____________________
Presiding Pastor: __________________________ Phone:___________________
Wedding Coordinator: __________________________ Phone:___________________
Sound Technician: __________________________ Phone:___________________
Video: __________________________ Phone:___________________
Pianist: __________________________ Phone:___________________
Vocalists: __________________________
# of Guests: __________________________
Bride's Parents: __________________________
Groom's Parents: __________________________
Maid of Honor: __________________________
# of Bridal Attendants: __________________________
Best Man: __________________________
# of Groomsmen: __________________________
Flower Girl: __________________________
Ring Bearer: __________________________
Personal Attendants: __________________________
Lead Usher: __________________________
# of Ushers: __________________________
Candle Lighters: __________________________
Guest Book Attendants: __________________________
Corsage Pinning: __________________________
Removing Personal
Items: __________________________
Photographer: __________________________ Phone:___________________
Florist: __________________________ Phone:___________________
Transportation: __________________________ Phone:___________________
Programs __________________________
Bubbles, Birdseed etc? __________________________
Candelabra: __________________________
Bride and Groom
ushering __________________________
or
Receiving Line Order: __________________________
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PROCESSIONAL WORKSHEET
The “Processional” is the wedding party walking into the sanctuary. This part of your
service often involves the seating of the parents, grandparents or other special people in
your lives. Your Wedding Coordinator can help you plan the Processional.
Order of Processional
1. Seating of Grandparents:
Music: _________________________________________________
_______________________ Ushered by: _____________________
_______________________ Ushered by: _____________________
2. Seating of Grandparents:
Music:__________________________________________________
_________________________ Ushered by: ____________________
_________________________ Ushered by: ____________________
3. Seating of Parents:
Music:__________________________________________________
_________________________ Ushered by: ____________________
_________________________ Ushered by: ____________________
4. Seating of Parents:
Music:__________________________________________________
_________________________ Ushered by: ____________________
_________________________ Ushered by: ____________________
(The groom usually seats the parents and then remains standing at the front of the
Worship Center.)
17 4/15/2021Wedding Booklet
5. Lighting of the “Mother’s Candles”.
These are the 2 candles that are used to light your Unity candle.
This is usually done by the Mothers of the Bride and Groom.
This does not have to be part of your ceremony.
_______________________ and ____________________________
6. Bridal Attendants and Groomsmen:
Music: __________________________________________________
7. Ring Bearer and Flower Girl
8. Bride: Music: ____________________________________________
Ushered by: _______________________________________
18 4/15/2021Wedding Booklet
EXPECTATIONS OF THE WEDDING PARTY
This is a celebration and you should expect to have a great time! However, we do have
a few simple expectations that you and your wedding party will need to be aware of.
1. Our property is here for you to use. We have plenty of rooms and bathrooms for
the bridal party to get dressed. We even have a stand up mirror for the women!
We encourage you to bring snacks/drinks for the wedding party—we ask that
these be kept in the Fellowship Center and cleaned up before the ceremony.
2. You are welcome to “explore” our property. Please keep children and others
away from the instruments and the sound booth in the worship area.
3. Our property is alcohol/drug free. We do not allow alcohol or drugs in the
building or the parking lot. If it is suspected that someone is under the influence;
they will be asked to leave the building (Brides and Grooms included). Pastors
reserve the right to not conduct a wedding ceremony if a member of the
wedding party, bride or groom is under the influence.
4. Our property is a public place and the doors will not be locked during your
ceremony. Please do not leave valuables lying around (including purses & gifts).
5. Pictures and videotaping during the ceremony should be discreet and without
flash.
6. Remember, this is a time when family and friends come together because they
care about you and want to support your life together. Relax and enjoy their
company!
19 4/15/2021Wedding Booklet GUIDELINES FOR DECORATING / CLEAN UP AT YOUR WEDDING Please give copies of this sheet to your Personal Attendants and Parents We understand weddings to be a time of worship, so decorations should be kept to a minimum and appropriate to a worship service. What makes a wedding special is not the decoration but the fact that you desire God’s blessing on your life together. Spend your time and energy on what is important: the marriage relationship and the people you have invited to your ceremony. Seek the Lord in your marriage and the wedding planning will be much easier for you and the people involved in your ceremony. 1. Worship is at the heart of congregational life, therefore the worship services at Lutheran Church of the Cross take priority over every other event. The latest wedding on Saturday afternoons is at 3:00 p.m. Any weddings scheduled at this time will need to arrange photographs to be taken before the wedding. Please do not plan on decorating the sanctuary or setting up items in the church before noon on Saturday unless you receive specific permission through your wedding coordinator. We often have other events on Saturday mornings. 2. Prior to your ceremony, all items – snacks, flower boxes, purses, curling irons etc. will need to be removed from the church building (your wedding coordinator can help with special items that will be needed after the ceremony or items that need to go into vehicles). Taking care of this prior to the ceremony also enables you and your “helpers” to go straight to the reception after the wedding. Assigning someone other than yourself this task will make your day easier. 3. The altar/stage area (the front of the church) – Decorations on the stage are welcome. Flowers/Plants may also be placed on the short pedestal area by the handrails. Please do not move anything in the chancel area or on the altar without first asking your wedding coordinator. 4. Candelabra – The church owns candelabra and candles, you are welcome to use them at no charge. If you choose to rent candelabra you must also provide protection (ie.-plexiglass) to protect the carpet from wax drippings. 5. Aisle runners – These are strongly discouraged. Their use dates back to a time when church buildings had dirt floors. They can be a hazard – it is difficult to keep them from wrinkling (even with T-pins). Removing them after the processional and before guests are ushered out can also be awkward. 6. Pew decorations –If you choose to use pew decorations, please do not use candles, tape, adhesive or metal that will scratch or damage the wood. 20 4/15/2021
Wedding Booklet 7. After the wedding ceremony, all of your decorations must be removed from the church building. The Worship Center must be cleared no later than 4:15 pm, and the atrium no later than 4:45 pm. We do not have room to store anything that you might choose to bring to the church building. Rental items must be taken with you. 8. Sparkle spray/glitter – Please do not use. 9. Birdseed (there are other alternatives such as bubbles) – Please do not bring birdseed into the church building unless it is packaged in separate bags for each guest. If you choose to use birdseed you will need to assign someone to sweep it off the sidewalks after you leave. The birdseed can make the sidewalks slippery for others using the church building. Please take time to go over this list prior to your rehearsal and make sure you have arranged helpers and transportation. This will just help you on your special day to concentrate on your marriage and not on the “little things”. If you have any questions, please contact your wedding coordinator. Re-Marriage, Blended Families and Weddings 21 4/15/2021
Wedding Booklet
What is a blended family? This is a household consisting of a husband, wife and
stepchildren. Here at LCC we realize that every family faces challenges and will face
more in the days to come. Blended families have an extra challenge – they bring
together different histories. Bringing those histories together in successful harmony can
be complicated. Sometimes these complications will not come to light until after the
wedding ceremony.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you
know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:2-3).
This verse doesn’t say “if”, but rather “when”. We will all face trials when many
personalities are brought together under one roof. There are tools available to help you
be better prepared when facing the delicate issues that often make blended families a
struggle. We hope the following will be of use to you as you prepare for your wedding
and for your life together.
One other part of the blended family process involves “Co-Parenting”. A good definition
of this is: “When two biological parents are involved in the raising of their children from
2 separate homes.”
“Unlike other families, stepfamilies often have other adults making decisions for
the children. In the best cases, the children might have loving adults who are
deeply invested in their lives as co-parents. But if your children's other parent is
hostile and bitter, living an immoral lifestyle, adamantly opposed to Christianity,
or just downright unstable, their presence can create all kinds of difficulties.
At the same time, children often are fiercely loyal to their birth parents, even a
parent who has caused damage in the child's life. If they sense you've rejected
their other parent, you might as well be rejecting them. That's a hurt that's not
easily healed.” (This article first appeared in Fall 2004, Vol. 17, No. 1, Page 28
issue of Christian Parenting Today. Used by permission of Christianity Today
International, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188)
22 4/15/2021Wedding Booklet
To help as prepare for your wedding and look at the issues of blended families, here are
some other things you may want to consider: Early in remarriage biological parents
need to remain primary caregivers and disciplinarians. Handing off the children to the
new stepparent sabotages his or her ability to build a relationship.
Early in remarriage parents should empower stepparents by communicating to
the children their expectation of obedience. Later, even if you disagree with
what the stepparent has done in your absence, support his or her position with
the children. Then take your disagreement behind closed doors and work out a
unified plan and consequences for the next offense.
Stepparents need to grow into their relationship with stepchildren. Be friendly at
first and support the house rules. Seek to be mutually suitable with your
stepchildren and enjoy the relationship you have now.
Encourage and insist that children maintain regular, consistent contact with the
parent living in the other home. Do your best to have a functional co-parent
relationship.
Let children set the pace for their relationship with the stepparent. Consider
each child individually. Give and expect affection, nurturance, and emotional
sharing only to the degree children appear open to it.
Parents should consider the stepparent’s input into child rearing. It is easy for
parents who are used to having complete control over their children to discount
the stepparent’s perspective. Keep in mind that, as outsiders, stepparents can
see things your blind spots prevent you from seeing. Listen and consider their
input.
Stepparents need to learn to be a nonjudgmental sounding board for parents.
When parents get frustrated with their own children, they may confide in the
stepparent. However, stepparents who begin to agree and add their own
frustration may find their spouse reversing position to defend the child. The
parent-child bond is a protective one. Stepparents would do well to listen and
affirm without criticizing the child. “I can see you are angry at Jane for lying to
us. What do you suggest we do?”
Finally, but most important, effective parent-stepparent teams begin with
healthy marriages. Take time to nurture your relationship, date on a regular
basis, learn to communicate and resolve conflict, and enjoy a healthy sexual
relationship. Make your marriage a priority!
(Ron L. Deal, http://www.sucessfulstepfamilies.com Ron L. Deal is Founder and
President of Successful Stepfamilies and author of The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to
a Healthy Family )
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Resources available to strengthen and encourage the development of Blended
Families:
All of the resources listed below are available to order online at www.christianbook.com
and www.focusonthefamily.org
“The Smart Step-Family, Seven Steps to a Healthy Family” – by Ron L. Deal “Blended
Families” – by Maxine Marsolini
“Winning the Heart of Your Stepchild” – by Dr. Bob Barnes
“Helping Children Survive Divorce” – by Archibald Hart
At this time LCC does not offer professional counseling in the specific area of “Blended
Families”, however we encourage you to consider this option if you have any concerns
at all. If you would like to explore this option, your officiating Pastor or your Wedding
Service Coordinator can refer you.
24 4/15/2021Wedding Booklet
Wedding Fees Worksheet
(Please return this form with your payment)
All wedding fees are paid directly to Lutheran Church of the Cross in advance of the day
of your rehearsal.
Checks /cash may be mailed to Laurel Swanson, Church Administrator, 1701 8 th St SW,
Altoona, IA, 50009.
Basic Wedding Package: $500
Includes:
o Pastoral Care $ 175.00
o Wedding Coordinator $ 175.00
o Sound Tech $ 75.00
o Housekeeping $ 75.00
Optional Fees (please check any that apply to your wedding):
Amount due:
Lutheran Church of the Cross Vocalist @ $75 $_________
Lutheran Church of the Cross Pianist @ $125 $_________
Video LiveStream/Recording @ $75 $ _________
Video Presentation (Video/Slide show on screen) @ $25 $_________
Offsite Wedding $250
Base Wedding Package: $ ______
Optional Fees: $ ______
Less Deposit Paid (if applicable) -$ ______
Total amount payable to LCC $________
Bride Name: ______________________________________________
Groom Name: ______________________________________________
Wedding Date: ________________________________________
For Office Use: Deposit (if applicable) Amount $______________
Payment Received: Amount $______________
Date Received: _____/ ________/ _______
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