COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine

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COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
COMPLIMENTARY

JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1
COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
Publisher / Editor
       Mike Strong
                                Table of Contents
                                FEED THE NEEDY.......................... 4
    Associate Editor
                                GONZALES GARDEN CLUB .... 10
         Thumper
      Sales Manager             SWEET EYES W/ TANYA...........12

     Dottie Godberry            LAMAR- DIXON................................24        FOR MORE INFORMATION
                                                                                       225.622.3262
   Staff Photographer           BILL DELAUNE.......................... 32            www.riverparishfoods.com

     Jimmy Dunkley
                                THOUGHTS FROM BULLY......36

                                JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE......... 39
  Contributing Writers
                                BASF SUPPORTS....................... 41
       Bill Delaune

                                On the Cover: Lamar Dixon Foundation Shows Appreciation
     Linda Melancon             SNO’S RECIPE........................... 45

           Bully

                                           WELCOME 2021 - WE THINK??
       Goosie Guice
     Orhan McMillan
      Kellie Seymour
       Tanya Stilley
     Jimmy Dunkley

                                               2020 is gone but COVID19 still remains to haunt and
       Patti Mouton

                                             restrict us. Rest assured TAGS & TITLES is still here for
      Jamie Lavigne

                                                 you and your DMV/DL and Notary needs. We still
                                            RECOMMEND APPOINTMENTS Monday-Friday to comply
    Mariah Simoneaux

                                             with social distancing and the CDC rules. My staff and I
       Ashley Parrot

                                             continue to take all the necessary precautions to ensure
      Brandi LeBlanc

                                               your safety while still providing you the fastest service
     For Advertising

                                                                possible in our lobby.
Information Please call:
      225-622-1324

                                                – FAST, EFFICIENT, FRIENDLY,
                                            KNOWLEDGABLE SERVICE TO GET YOU IN
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                                                                                 3
COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
Angels of God, Feed the Needy ...

  Help from Feed the Needy is
    Needed More than ever
         due to Covid 19
By Mike Strong                  Bama’s Feed the Needy
                              started when Tommy ‘Bama’
  In this year of shutdowns   Aldridge, heard there were
and quarantines the needs     three needy families in the
of others are needed more     area that needed the basics,
than ever.                    especially food for Christmas.
  The annual event of Feed      Bama grabbed his black iron
the Needy had to make         pot and cooked a hen and
some changes and
adjustments to comply
with health officials.
Social distancing was
observed as much as
possible and mask were
worn through out. A few
mask were removed for
photos but the event
was not only safe it was
a tremendous success
in what should have
been a down year.

                                                               4
COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
andouille sauce piquante.     significant today as they were            There are business owners,       Here are some of the
He and a few friends raised   then and probably more.                police officers, musicians and    disbursements for 2020:
$800 and they helped             15 years later and Bama’s           plant workers. Publisher’s,
those families.               Feed the Needy has raised in           chef’s and bartenders. We         • 5 area church’s food
  I’ve written those words    excess of $250,000.00. What            have Veteran’s, family               banks - $10,700.00
before but they are just as   started out as a small group of        members, politicians with old     • 9 schools in Ascension
                              guys getting together each             friends and new friends all            Parish with identified
                              year to cook and raise money           gathering and donating their           needy students -
                              has turned into an army of             time and money to cook, sell or        $7200.00
                              40 good hearted souls that             deliver Jambalaya plates          • Needy Families in
                              make Feed the Needy the                across the parish to help feed       Ascension Parish
                              success that it is today.              the needy at Christmas and           - $2700.00
                                 In life we all take different       that is what we do every year.    • Ode to our Warriors
                              paths and in this case all our            This year the total, as of       (veterans) - $1000.00
                              paths merged on the good side          press time of this magazine,      • Perry Aldridge
                              of humanity. I couldn’t be             raised $26,195.00 for the            Charities - $1000.00
                              prouder of Bama and the many           2020 benefit.                     • EDANB (Sober Living
                              friends from every walk of life                                             House for Women) -
                              joining together for such a                                                  $1000.00
                              tremendous and worthy cause.

                                                                 5
COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
I want to extend a personal
                                                                                       ‘Thank You’ to Bama for getting
                                                                                       me involved. This event keeps me
                                                                                       centered and on the right path
                                                                                       and to all of the volunteers that
                                                                                       participate. You are angels and
                                                                                       doing God’s work. Also a special
                                                                                       thanks goes out to the
                                                                                       KC Council 2657.

                                                                                       Bless you all.

                                                                                       God Bless Willa Mae!

                                                                                       Photos by Jessica Rambin

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                                                       6
COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
8 11 E . A S C E N S I O N S T. • G O N Z A L E S , L A • 2 2 5 . 6 4 7 . 3 7 0 0 • L AY N E S J E W E L R Y. C O M
                                                        7
COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
For the last twenty years,                  this year’s Christmas Crusade
we have held the Christmas                  another successful year. This
crusade program and with                    year with the community’s
all the challenges in 2020                  help over 550 children and
with Covid-19 and other                     over 100 families were able
challenges, I wanted to take                to share the joy of Christmas
a moment to thank all of                    with toys and other needed
our deputies, volunteers,                   items. Thank you to our
business owners, and i                      Ascension Parish Community.
ndustry for helping us make                                                             Thank you to Murray's Market for donating to the Sheriff Bobby Webre
                                                                                        Christmas Crusade program.

Thank you to Carpenter’s Chapel Church for donating to      Thank you to A & M Contractors for donating to the Sheriff    Thank you to Westlake Vinyls Company for donating to the
the Sheriff Bobby Webre Christmas Crusade program.          Bobby Webre Christmas Crusade program.                        Sheriff Bobby Webre Christmas Crusade program.

Thank you to Francois Bend Assistant Living for donating to the                               Thank you to Baton Rouge Physical Therapy-Lake for donating to the
Sheriff Bobby Webre Christmas Crusade program.                                                Sheriff Bobby Webre Christmas Crusade program.

                                                                                          8
COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
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                                            9
COMPLIMENTARY JANUARY 2021, VOL. 19 ISSUE 1 - Ascension Magazine
From the Gonzales Garden Club
       Growing from
          Scratch
                                                                                                                      the meeting with her program
                                                                                                                      “From Seed to Seedling” detailing
                                                                                                                      techniques for germinating seeds.
                                                                                                                      She included information on time
                                                                                                                      frames, container types and soil
                                                                                                                      mixtures. Dale gave helpful advice
                                                                                                                      on the correct amounts of light,
Gonzales Garden Club President                             by naming plants that they                                 water and fertilizer to successfully
Jamie Trisler welcomed members                             would like to grow from seeds.                             develop seeds into viable plants. It
to a virtual meeting on January 6,                         Tomatoes, bell peppers, squash,                            is best to start with tiny containers
the club’s sixth Zoom session                              sugar-snap peas, winter lettuces,                          of moist vermiculite, sand or peat
facilitated by Vice President Mary                         milkweed, poppies and zinnias                              mix, then place the seeds and cover
Jo Pohlig. The theme of the day                            were mentioned.                                            with cellophane or a clear lid.
was “Growing from Scratch”.                                                                                           Since temperature and light are
Members opened the discussion                              Member Dale Bowman headlined                               factors, it’s preferable to set the
                                                                                                                                         container on a
                                                                                                                                         warm sunny porch.
                                                                                                                                         The seeds should                 A typical seed starter kit is layered in four parts: a
                                                                                                                                         sprout in seven to               bottom water reservoir tray, a felt liner to wick the
                                                                                                                                         ten days. Once a                 water up, a soil tray of one-inch compartments,
                                                                                                                                         few leaves have                  and a clear plastic lid that snaps on to hold in the
                                                                                                                                                                          moisture until the seeds sprout. She called it
                                                                                                                                         developed, trans-                 “a mini greenhouse”.
                                                                                                                                         plant to 4-inch

Dale repurposes Crystal Light containers to store larger batches of seeds.

                                                                                                                                          Dale’s canning hobby keeps this pantry stocked year-round.

                                                                                                                                          pots adding root                plots after the last frost. The
                                                                                                                                          stimulator or                   garden soil should be wet with the
                                                                                                                                          weakened water-                 seeds properly spaced and lightly
                                                                                                                                          soluble fertilizer.             dusted with crumbled peat.
                                                                                                                                          Seeds started in                Tongue depressors or short
                                                                                                                                          January can grow                sections of mini-blinds can be used
                                                                                                                                          into full leafy plants          to label the plantings.
                                                                                                                                          ready for larger
                                                                                                                                          pots or garden beds             Dale's “Seeds for Flowers, Herbs
                                                                                                                                          in March. Seeds                 and Vegetables” exhibit included
                                                                                                                                          can be directly                 seed packets, catalogs, storage
The parsley, cilantro, carrots, romaine, kale and lettuces in this bed were started from seeds. Only dill was bought as transplants be-   sown into garden                systems, and starter kits. She buys
cause the seeds she had tried to germinate “must have been too old” to sprout.
Dale has favorite seed catalogs that offer a wide   Dale puts fresh seeds into little dosage cups to dry
variety of specialty plants.                        before storing the tiny seeds in prescription bottles
                                                    and pill organizers.

seed packets from Clegg’s, Lowe’s                   “It’s why I do it.” Jamie Trisler
and Old Time Farm Supply.                           aptly said of Dale, “She's the
When stores don’t have what she is                  real deal."
looking for, Dale orders from
Gurney’s, Park Seed, Burpee’s,                      The floral design of the month was
Jung’s Seeds and Plants, and Seeds                  the vertical-line style. Member
‘N Such. She particularly likes to                  Mary Jo Pohlig presented a flower
grow very small cucumbers for                       arrangement of garden cuttings.
pickling and a sweet pepper hybrid                  Four horticultural hints were
that yields green, red, and yellow                  offered for January. Gardeners
peppers all on the same plant.                      are advised to start a gardening
Dale did an excellent job of                        journal, fertilize plants if they are
demonstrating how to enjoy                          pale or yellow green, watch for
gardening with seeds in her                         aphids, and fertilize shade trees
ever-personable, easy style.                        and fruit trees.

As a home gardener, Dale is                         The club’s annual Arbor Day
tirelessly dedicated to her acre                    public ceremony will not take place
and a half of beds. Besides the                     this month. Dr. Allen Owings has
ornamental shrubs and trees in her                  accepted the club’s invitation to
landscape, she cultivates a sizable                 speak at February’s virtual garden
daylily collection, seasonal                        club meeting. The planned topic
vegetables and herbs, and rotating                  is roses, just in time for
annuals. When weather prohibits                     Valentine’s Day.
outdoor activity, Dale cooks and
cans. She has a kitchen pantry
dedicated to preserved fruits and
vegetables and a carport freezer
packed with vacuum-sealed bounty.
She freely shares her jarred treats
and frozen food with her family
and friends. Her perpetual smile
illustrates her enjoyment in giving.
In thanking her, she comments

                                                    Mary Jo Pohlig designed this vertical-line
                                                    arrangement with foliage from a Mexican giant cigar
                                                    plant and flowers from donkey ear kalanchoe in a
                                                    tall thin container to accentuate the shape.

                                                             Happy
                                                                                                              225.644.1028
                                                                                                                                                                  check us out on
                                                            New Year                                                                                         FaceBook @ Azalea Estates
                                                                                                                                                                    of Gonzales

                                                    The Gonzales Garden Club is
Vermiculite and Seed Starting Potting Mix are
                                                    federated by National Garden Clubs, Inc.                2305 S. Purpura Ave. • Gonzales, LA 70737 • gonzalesazaleaestates.com
recommended to prompt seed germination.
Here are a few resources for
                                                                                                            simple stretching tutorials:
                                                                                                            sparkpeople.com, sophia.org,
                                                                                                            mayoclinic.org, and
                                                                                                            bodybuilding.com, just
                                                                                                            to name a few.

                                                                                                            Get your Fiber

                                                                                                            20 to 25 grams of fiber is
                                                                                                            recommended per day for
                                                                                                            adults. Unfortunately, most of
                                                                                                            us don’t get but a fraction of
                                                                                                            that. An easy way to get
                                                                                                            additional fiber in your diet
                                                                                                            without eating boatloads of
                                                                                                            flaxseed or apples, if to enjoy a
                                                                                                            couple of Fiber Choice Weight
                                                                                                            Management Sugar Free
                                                                                                            chewable wafers. Each tablet
                                   best foot forward this new           moments of serenity.
      Moving                       year…one day at a time.
                                                                                                            contains 5 grams of fiber. If
                                                                                                            you have two in the morning,
     Forward in                    Monitor your Media
                                                                        Stretch it Out                      you’re already ahead of the
                                                                                                            curve for your fiber intake
       2021                        Don’t overuse media or
                                                                        After such a stressful year, it’s
                                                                        even more important to stretch.
                                                                                                            for the day.

                                   technology. It ultimately results    Yes, simply stretching can          Just a few helpful suggestions to
Embarking on a new year is         in the breakdown of cognitive        reduce tension, increase            get off to a good start this year.
exciting. I know I couldn’t be     abilities and most definitely        circulation, give you better        Simply putting down smart
happier to “sayonara” to 2020.     eats up your time.                   balance and flexibility.            devices, stretching and getting
And for most, a New Year bring                                                                              enough fiber daily are three easy
new resolutions, but I believe,    Set aside 20 to 30 minutes of        Rolling your shoulders to the       ways to feel better and start
every day is another opportunity   time you’d normally spend on         front and back, stretching and      this new year off right.
to make good decisions. Each       social media, and use it to read,    turning your neck to the right,
moment allows us the change to     take a walk, or just have some       up and down, a simple trunk         Wishing you blessings this
create a better result by making   quiet time.                          twist, and folding forward to       month and this year
a wiser decision, especially                                            touch the ground (or your           Ascension Parish.
considering the circumstances of   Set a repeating alarm or ask         knees) are just a few ways you
this emerging 2021.                someone to be your accounta-         can begin your journey to           XOXO – Sweet Eyes
                                   bility partner to reminded and       becoming more limber.
Here are few ways to put your      encourage you to carve out

                                                                       12
13
Get
 Growing,
                                                                           prevent low hanging branches       Apply fertilizer using a
                                                                           from touching the ground.          broadcast method. Focus the

Ascension!
                                                                                                              application under or just
                                                                           Generally, trees should be         beyond the tree’s farthest
                                                                           fertilized at the end of January   branches. This is where the
                                                                           or beginning of February, prior    feeder roots are located. The

     Winter Citrus
                                                                           to entering their spring growth    primary function of feeder
                                                                           phase. Citrus trees benefit        roots is to absorb water and
      Tree Care                                                            from annual fertilization as it    nutrients. Avoid making a
                                                                           encourages good growth and         fertilizer application too close
Citrus season is wrapping up                 Mariah Simoneaux              high yields of quality fruit.      the trunk in order to avoid
here in Louisiana. All the fruit                                           Apply one pound of 13-13-13        damaging the tree.
                                   need a good pair of leather
should be removed from your                                                fertilizer or one and a half
                                   gloves. First remove any
tree by the end of January and                                             pounds of 8-8-8 fertilizer for     An excellent video that
                                   dead, diseased or damaged
early February. Leaving the                                                each year of age. For              demonstrates proper citrus
                                   branches. One exception to
fruit any longer can interfere                                             example, a three-year-old tree     pruning can be found on the
                                   this rule is pruning out damage
with bloom and fruit set this                                              should receive three pounds of     LSU AgCenter YouTube
                                   from a recent freeze. It is best
spring. January and February                                               13-13-13 or four and a half        channel. Simply search
                                   to wait until summer to prune
are also good months to take                                               pounds of 8-8-8. The fertilizer    “LSU AgCenter how to
                                   freeze damaged branches so
care of any pruning and                                                    rate is increased each year        prune citrus” in the You Tube
                                   the extent of the damage can
fertilizing that is needed.                                                until the tree reaches 12 years.   search bar.
                                   fully be determined. You’ll
                                                                           A second application of a
                                   want to remove any water
Pruning your citrus tree is not                                            nitrogen fertilizer can be
                                                                                                              Mariah Simoneaux is the Horticulture
                                   sprouts that are growing from
                                                                           applied to fruit bearing citrus
                                                                                                              Agent serving Ascension and As-
difficult. Small hand pruners,     the root stock or straight up
                                                                                                              sumption Parishes. For more infor-

loppers and even a small saw                                               trees during May or June.
                                                                                                              mation visit www.LSUAgCenter.com
                                   from a branch. After making
                                                                           This may help to reduce
                                                                                                              or contact Mariah at MJSi-
are good tools to have on          these initial cuts examine the
                                                                                                              moneaux@agcenter.LSU.edu.

hand. If you will need to prune                                            fluctuations in fruit yield from
                                   tree to determine if additional
out any thorny suckers from                                                year to year.                      Photo of satsuma fruit by Heather
                                   branches should be removed
the root stock you may also                                                                                   Kirk-Ballard/LSU AgCenter.
                                   to increase air flow or to

                                                                      14
CHRISTIAN BROTHERS SEAFOOD
  225.647.4332   •   Hwy. 44   •   Gonzales

                      15
How Big
   is Your
                                       leads me to my next common         breast (which
                                       “but” many people use.             you can buy a
                                       “I want to exercise, BUT…          pack of 6-8

    But??
                                       my family time is more             fresh boneless
                                       important.” Really? If family      skinless chicken
                                       time is so important to you,       breasts at any
                                       shouldn’t ensuring that you        grocery store
                                       will be here for years upon        for $10 or less –
                                       years be just as important?        and that one
By: Brandi LeBlanc, CPT
    Owner of Barbelle Beauty Fitness   Which leads me back to             pack can go a
                                       priority. If your priority is to   long way) and a
BUTs. We all have them.                be here for your family – to       small portion of
Excuses that keep us from              spend time with them; to be        veggies (a bag
the goals we try to set for            here a long time to see your       of frozen for
ourselves, but procrastinate           kids grow up; to see your          less than $1 at
to achieve. One thing about            grandkids grow up; to be           Walmart). It’s
me, I’m blunt… and I’ll be             able to DO things with them        more
unapologetically blunt about           without losing your breath –       expensive to
this subject. So what is your          then how is your health not a      NOT prepare
excuse? You want to live a             priority in seeing to it that      your meals. I
healthy lifestyle, BUT…                those things happen? Taking        can feed my
but what?                              ONE HOUR for yourself is           entire family of
                                                                                                           and anxiety.
                                       not being selfish. That one        seven (myself, my husband,
Some common “buts”…                    hour is ensuring that you will     and five children) for a week
                                                                                                           So there… some of the most
“I want to exercise, BUT…              be able to live a long,            on $100-150…and not one of
                                                                                                           common excuses BUSTED,
I don’t have time.” Ok, so             healthy, active lifestyle so       them is deprived of anything.
                                                                                                           not BUT-ed. I guarantee, any
prioritize some time for you           that you CAN be here for
                                                                                                           excuse you give me, I can
to work on yourself. Make an           your family and spend time         “I want to live a healthy,
                                                                                                           bust in one way or another.
appointment with yourself for          with them… doing something         active lifestyle, BUT… life is
                                                                                                           So, the questions remains…
this. Trust me, I have tons of         other than just being a couch      complicated.” Ok, so your
                                                                                                           how big is your but? Maybe
people pulling at every fiber          potato. Is that the example        excuse is stress. Did you
                                                                                                           the question should be how
of my being daily…BUT…                 you want to give to your           know that working out can
                                                                                                           big is your WHY? Let me
I also know my priority is             family? To your children?          actually be the BEST stress
                                                                                                           help you figure out your why.
keeping myself healthy and             Think about it.                    reliever ever? Let me give
                                                                                                           Contact me for a free
fit for my career and my                                                  you a few tidbits that you can
                                                                                                           consultation. I promise, you
family, so I make an                   Another common “but”…              even find scientific proof on.
                                                                                                           will step into 2021 with more
appoinment with and for                “I want to eat healthier,          It pumps your endporphins. It
                                                                                                           encouragement that you
myself at least 3-5 days per           BUT… it’s so expensive.”           helps bump your brain’s “feel
                                                                                                           CAN do this, than all those
week. “Your family?” you may           Actually, I can prove this         good” neurotransmitters
                                                                                                           reasons why you can’t.
say... YES. My family – my             completely false. Preparing        (endorphins). It’s meditation
                                                                                                           Brandi LeBlanc, CPT
kids, my husband – I am                your meals is way less             in motion. As you being to
                                                                                                           Barbelle Beauty Fitness
setting an example for them.           expensive than eating out          shed your daily tensions
If I am making it a priority to        several times a week… and          through movement of your
be active, so will they follow         in some cases every day.           body, you can find that this
my example. If I am eating             Preparing a healthy meal can       simple focus on this single
right, so will they. Which             be as simple as a chicken          task results in energy,          For more information contact:
                                                                              optimism, helps you stay     Brandi LeBlanc, CPT
                                                                              calm and focused in          Barbelle Beauty Fitness
                                                                              everything you do. It also   Cell: 225-210-7813
                                                                                                           Email:
                                                                              improves your mood and       contact@brandileblanc.com
                                                                              helps you relax, lowering
                                                                              symptoms of depression
FINANCIAL FOCUS                                                                                  1 3 0 5 3 H W Y. 4 3 1 • S T. A M A N T

   Time for New
                                           way to do so is by building an
                                           emergency fund. Ideally, such a

  Year’s Financial
                                           fund should be kept in liquid,
                                           low-risk vehicles and contain at

    Resolutions
                                           least six months’ worth of
                                           living expenses.

                                           • Focus on moves you can
                                           control. In response to
Many of us probably felt that              pandemic-related economic
2020 lasted a very long time.              pressures, some employers cut
But now that 2021 is upon us,              their matching contributions to
we can make a fresh start – and            401(k) plans in 2020. Will some
one way to do that is to make              future event cause another such
some New Year’s resolutions. Of            reduction? No one knows – and
course, you can make these                 even if it happens, there’s prob-
resolutions for all parts of your          ably nothing you can do about it.
life – physical, emotional,                Instead of worrying about things

                                                                                            FIRESTONE BRIDGSTONE CREDIT CARDS
intellectual – but have you ever           you can’t control, focus on those
considered some financial                  you can. When it comes to your
resolutions?                               401(k) or similar employer-

                                                                                           ACCEPTED AND AVAILABLE AT BIGGEAUX’S
                                           sponsored retirement plan, put
Here are a few such resolutions            in as much as you can afford
to consider:                               this year, and if your salary goes
                                           up, increase your contribution.
• Don’t overreact to events.
When the coronavirus pandemic              • Recognize your ability to
hit in mid-February, the financial         build savings. During the
markets took a big hit. Many               pandemic, the personal savings
people, convinced that we were             rate shot up, hitting a record of
                                                                                       State-of-the-Art

in for a prolonged slump,                  33% in April, according to the
                                                                                         Equipment
decided to take a “time out” and           U.S. Bureau of Economy
headed to the investment                   Analysis. It fell over the next
                                           several months, but still
                                                                                             Front End
sidelines. But it didn’t take long
for the markets to rally, reward-          remained about twice as high as
                                                                                            Alignments
                                           the rate of the past few years.
                                                                                                   NOW STOCKING: ANCO WIPERS,
ing those patient investors who
stayed the course. Nothing is a            Of course, much of this surge in

                                                                                                HERCULES TIRES, INTERSTATE BATTERIES
certainty in the investment                Americans’ proclivity to save
world, but the events of 2020              money was due to our lack of
followed a familiar historical             options for spending it, as the
pattern: major crisis followed by          coronavirus caused either
market drop followed by strong             complete or partial shutdowns in
recovery. The lesson for                   physical retail establishments,
investors? Don’t overreact to              as well as dining and entertain-
today’s news – because tomor-              ment venues. But if you did
row may look quite different.              manage to boost your own
                                           personal savings when your
• Be prepared. At the beginning            spending was constrained, is it
of 2020, nobody was anticipat-             possible to remain a good saver
ing a worldwide pandemic and               when restrictions are lifted?
its terrible consequences, both            Probably. And the greater your
to individuals’ health and to their        savings, the greater your                            24 Hr. Emergency Roadside Service
economic well-being. None of us            financial freedoms – including
can foretell the future, either, but       the freedom to invest and
we can be prepared, and one                freedom from excessive debt.
                                           When we reach a post-
                                           pandemic world, see if you can
                                           continue saving more than you
                                           did in previous years – and
                                           use your savings wisely.

                                           These aren’t the only financial
                                           resolutions you can make – but
                                           following them may help you
                                                                                           • All tires from ATV to Commercial Machinery   • Emergency road service

                                           develop habits that could benefit
                                                                                           • All brands to fit autos, trucks and            assistance-Commercial Only

                                           you in 2021 and beyond.
                                                                                            18 wheelers, including tractor/               • Locally owned and operated since 2004
                                                                                             construction equipment tires                 • New used and retreads

                                           This article was written by Edward Jones
                                           for use by your local Edward Jones
                                           Financial Advisor.Edward Jones.
                                           Member SIPC.

Jamie Lavigne, Financial Advisor
516 Moore St., Suite 103 • Baton Rouge, LA 70806
Office 225.314.3558 • cell 225.328.6900 • Fax 844.879.7129 • www.edwardjones.com
                                                                                           Call for Appointment • 225.644.8473
                                                                                      17
your mouth let your breath settle        the flavor and texture of each bite,
                                                                                     into its rhythm. Observe the rise        and most of all, just eat.
                                                                                     and fall of your chest and belly as
                                                                                     you breathe.                             4. Pause at the end. Take a
                                                                                                                              moment as you complete your
                                                                                     3. Ask yourself: "What is my             meal to feel gratitude and
                                                                                     intention for today?" Use these          satisfaction for the experience.
                                                                                     prompts to help answer that              Knowing that your body will be
                                                                                     question, as you think about the         nourished from the food that
                                                                                     people and activities you will face.     you just ate.
                                                                                     Ask yourself:
                                                                                     • How might I show up today to           The Power Of The Pause:
                                                                                        have the best impact?
                                                                                     • During difficult moments, how
                                                                                                                              Retraining Our Brain
                                                                                         might I be more compassionate
                                                                                                                              It's estimated that 95% of our be-
                                                                                         to others and myself?
                                                                                                                              havior runs on autopilot—without
                                                                                     • How might I feel more connected
                                                                                                                              us thinking or being aware of it. In
                                                                                        and fulfilled?
                                                                                                                              today's world, we are constantly
                                                                                                                              bombarded by information: emails,
                                                                                     4. Set your intention for the day.

    3 Simple Practices To Bring
                                                                                                                              text messages, push notifications,
                                                                                     For example, "Today, I will be kind
                                                                                                                              and more. Not only is this way of
                                                                                     to myself; be patient with others;
                                                                                                                              living unfulfilling, it's very unhealthy.

   Mindfulness Into Your Daily Life
                                                                                     give generously; stay grounded;
                                                                                     persevere; have fun; eat well," or
                                                                                                                              Mindfulness is the exact opposite
                                                                                     anything else you feel is important.
                                                                                                                              of these habits; it's the slow brain.
                                                                                                                              It's you in charge rather than
By Orhan McMillan                      Here are three daily practices                5. Throughout the day, check-in
                                                                                                                              autopilot and enables intentional
                                       to bring more mindfulness into                with yourself. Pause, take a breath
                                                                                                                              actions and purposeful decisions.
The repetitive activities in our       your life.                                    and revisit your intention. Notice, as
                                                                                                                              It does require practice. The more
everyday lives offer excellent                                                       you become more and more
                                                                                                                              we engage in simple exercises that
                                                                                     conscious of your intentions for
opportunities to bring mindfulness     First Things First; Wake Up                   each day, how the quality of your
                                                                                                                              slow our brain's thought patterns
into every moment. Breathe
space in your daily routines and
                                       With Focus And Purpose                        communications, relationships,
                                                                                                                              and messages, the stronger it gets.

discover benefits with these                                                         and mood shifts.
                                       First thing in the morning is ideal to                                                 Here are some steps you can take
helpful practices.                                                                                                            to train your brain to be more
                                       set some time aside before starting           Mindful Eating: More Than                aware and present.
                                       your day. For many, the morning
For many, from the moment we
                                       can be a disorienting time. We                Just A Mouthful
awaken, the shot has been fired to                                                                                            1. Set reminders. Build time into
                                       often find ourselves thinking about
start our day. The mind begins                                                       Eating. It is something we do            your day to simply pause wherever
                                       our lives' most demanding parts
reviewing the mental task list of                                                    throughout our day. But how many         you are and with whatever you are
                                       before our eyes are even open,
what lies ahead before our feet                                                      of us have powered through a plate       doing just to take a moment,
                                       instantly creating stress and
touch the floor. And how often have                                                  of food and don't remember eating        breathe, and be aware of what you
                                       anxiety. By taking a few minutes
we rushed into our days without                                                      it? Or even more likely, eating lunch    are doing. Setting a gentle alarm or
                                       each morning, you can retrain
even considering how we would like                                                   or dinner while working, looking at      reminder on your phone is a simple
                                       your brain to allow you to ease
things to go? Also, how many times                                                   our phones, watching television, or      way of reminding yourself to pause,
                                       into your day.
have we ended our day and not                                                        ALL THREE!                               sit back, stand up, and be present.
able to recall any particular event?
                                       1. On waking, sit or lie in
It's as if we are living in a daze.                                                  Eating can and should be one of          2. Pausing at the end. We all
                                       your bed or a chair in a
For many of us, we are.                                                              the most pleasurable experiences         have task lists that are never-end-
                                       relaxed posture. Close your eyes
                                       and connect with the sensations of            we engage in as human beings. By         ing and that seem to grow at warp
There is a better way. Simply                                                        bringing mindfulness into our eating     speed. For some of us, they help
                                       your seated body. Make sure your
pausing to practice mindfulness                                                      experience, we can make it a far         keep us organized. But instead of
                                       spine is straight but not rigid.
for just a few minutes during the                                                    richer experience, becoming aware        pummeling through your list day
day will create more fulfilling                                                      of the value of taste and nutrition.     after day, take a small break at the
                                       2. Take three long, deep,
experiences that are in line with                                                                                             end of each task. Upon completion
                                        nourishing breaths. Breathing in
how you want your life to be.                                                        1. Breathe before eating.                of one task, take a moment to sit
                                       through your nose and out through
                                                                                     By pausing before we eat, we slow        back, take a breath, and
                                                                                     down and allow for a transition to       acknowledge that it is complete.
                                                                                     our meals and bring awareness to         Express satisfaction with that
                                                                                     the experience. Bring your attention     being complete and then move on
                                                                                     inward by closing your eyes, and         to the next item.
                                                                                     begin to breathe slowly in and out
                                                                                     of your belly for eight to 10 deep       3. Segment intending. Another
                                                                                     breaths before you start your meal.      helpful practice is to segment
                                                                                                                              intend. Before beginning the next
                                                                                     2. See what is in front of you.          task or to-do, take a moment to
                                                                                     Take a look at the plate of food in      determine what you will be doing
                                                                                     front of you. What colors do you         next, how you intend to go, feel the
                                                                                     see? What textures? Take a deep          process positively taking place,
                                                                                     inhale and enjoy the unique smells       and then begin.
                                                                                     that are a part of the food you are
                                                                                     about to enjoy. Reflect on the food,     As you can see, the steps follow a
                                                                                     where it came from, how it got to        simple but powerful process: start
                                                                                     be on your plate, and express            with intention, be aware during the
                                                                                     gratitude for having it at               action, pause, and reflect upon the
                                                                                     this moment.                             completion. Mindfulness is a simple,
                                                                                                                              rewarding, and beneficial practice
                                                                                     3. Practice peaceful eating.             that will bring meaning and
                                                                                     As you begin to eat, slow down and       fulfillment to all areas of your life.
                                                                                     continue to breathe deeply. Enjoy

                                                                                18
YOUR ESTATE MATTERS                                                                                      Celebrate the New Year
                                   are the beneficiaries properly
                                   designated?                                                               by saving $2021
                                   • Has your financial situation
                                   changed such that you need
                                   to look at the tax provisions of
                                   your estate plan?

                                   • If you have a Trust, are all
                                   of your assets placed in the
                                   trust?

                                   • Are all of your beneficiary
                                   designations up to date
                                   on your retirement plan
                                   accounts?

                                   • Have you had any new
   By Linda Melancon               additions to the family (chil-                                                       Reserve your
                                   dren, grandchildren or others)                                                  apartment by March 1st
  RESOLVE TO                       that you want to plan for?                                                          and ring in the
 UPDATE YOUR                       • Do you have a plan in place                                                     new year with your
                                                                                                                       $2021 savings.
 ESTATE PLAN                       to pay for long-term care costs
                                   if you become disabled or
Last year was a year that will     incapacitated?                                                                    Call us today for your
likely live in everyone’s                                                                                                 reservation!
memory for a long time. It         Now is also a good time to                                                           225-647-2363
was a year of much uncertain-      make sure that the Agents,
ity and, for many, included the    Executors and Trustees you
loss of a loved one. While we      have appointed to make
all hoped that 2021 would          decisions are still available and
start off better than it has, it   able to serve in that capacity.
also appears to be a year of       It is also a good time to make
much uncertainty. There are        sure those who may need to
some things that are still         be decision makers for you

                                                                                     326 East Industry St., Gonzales, LA 70737 • FrancoisBend.com
certain though. Unfortu-           can do so without delay and                       INDEPENDENT • ASSISTED LIVING • MEMORY CARE COMMUNITY
nately, they are things none of    are aware of your wish for
us like to think about: death      them to serve in this role.
and taxes. With this in mind,
it’s a good time to take con-      While your estate plan may
trol of the things we still can    not need to be updated regu-
to provide the best possible       larly, you should still pull out
outcome for our loved ones if      your will, trust, durable power
death or disability hit close to   of attorney and health care
home this year. This is a two-     directives at least every three
part series on updating your       years to make sure they still
estate plan and this month, we     reflect your wishes and will
will discuss things you should     work as you intended. It’s also
look at when considering your      vital keep your eyes and ears
estate planning documents.         open for changes in the law
Next month, we will look at        that might affect your plan.
recent changes in the law that
might affect your estate plan.     This is a very brief overview of
                                   things you should consider in
One of the best ways you can       2021 whether you are creat-
protect your loved ones is to      ing an estate plan for the first
create an estate plan that         time or you are making sure
details your wishes if you do      your current plan is up to date
become incapacitated or pass       and will work as it was
away. And, if you already have     designed. The best way to stay
an estate plan, it’s a good time   abreast of these changes is to
to inform yourself about           work with professionals
changes that could have an         knowledgable about estate
impact on you and your             planning matters so they can
loved ones.                        guide you through these un-
                                   precedented times. And, stay
To make sure you are leaving       tuned for next month’s article
your estate in the manner you      about changes and proposed
desire, you should periodically    changes in the law that also
consider your assets and f         might affect your estate plan.
inancial situation. Questions
to consider are:
                                   The information provided is not intended to
• Did you buy any real estate,     be legal advice and does not constitute any
stocks, bonds or other invest-     attorney/client relationship. You should
                                   consult with an attorney for individual
ments during this past year        advice regarding your own situation.
and, if so, does your current
estate plan distribute that        Ms. Melancon is an attorney with Legacy
property in accordance with        Estate & Elder Law of Louisiana, LLC with
                                   offices in Baton Rouge and Lake Charles,
your wishes?                       LA. The primary focus of her practice is estate
                                   planning, probate, special needs planning,
                                   and elder law. For more information or to
• Did you purchase any life        attend an upcoming estate planning seminar,

                                                                               19
insurance or annuities? If so,     call her office at (225) 744-0027.
Santa makes a Special Tuesday Visit
What a wonderful night tonight    dents driving thru to pick up
for our Special Tuesday           some great treats. The gumbo
friends. Very nice Christmas      and jambalaya was off the
Drive thru tonight for our Spe-   chart tonight. Another blessing
cial Tuesday friends. Thank       for our community.
you Volunteer Ascension,
BASF, Atmos, St. Amant & 5th.     Volunteer Ascension Board
Ward Volunteer Fire Depart-       Member
ments and the Gonzales Jam-       James E. LeBlanc
balaya Association. Also thank
you Gonzales Primary School.
Just warms my heart to see
the smiles on over 100 resi-
Eric Lambert
                                                                                Owner

                                                    Our Front End Alignment
                                                  Equipment is State-of-the-Art
                                             STATE INSPECTIONS • NEW TIRES
                                                 BRAKES • OIL CHANGES
                                             MECHANIC ON DUTY • A/C REPAIR
                                                   ENGINE DIAGNOSTIC

WWW.HWY44.NET • EMAIL HWY44@EATEL.NET
       13422 HWY 44, GONZALES
                                             225.647.3000 • 1311 N. BURNSIDE • GONZALES
                                        21
BOOM
                                                                              with Ashley

                                                                               IT’S ON!                       Market would “slow down”, we
                                                                                                              saw otherwise…Realtors and

                                                                         ROBUST! Yup…that is what             Lenders alike have seen a

                                                                         you can count on experiencing        continual boom in the housing

                                                                         this coming year regarding the       market and it doesn’t look like

                                                                         Real Estate Market.                  it will stop any time soon.
                                                                                                              Experts now predict that this

                                                                         The year 2020 proved to be a         boom will last throughout this

                                                                         record shattering year for           year… And this is FANTASTIC

                                                                         home sales and all parts of          news for Home Buyers and

                                                                         real estate across the board…        Sellers alike! Fannie Mae is
lizzydd1@gmail.com • 225.744.2610 o. | 225.802.9796 m.
                                                                         even throughout the pandemic,        stating that existing home
   37283 Swamp Road Suite 102 | Prairieville, LA 70769
             Licensed Real Estate Agent in the State of Louisiana, USA
                                                                         historic inventory shortages         sales will ultimately be up at
                  Each Office is Independently Owned & Operated

  Looking for a Real Estate
  Agent Who Provides Results?
           Call Me!
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  Just Solutions!
ASHLEY D. PARROTT
        225.933.6869

   ashleyparrott@kw.com
                                                                         and, for lack of better words,       least a percent or more in the
                                                                                                              year 2021. Fannie Mae also
KELLER WILLIAMS FIRST CHOICE
17111 Commerce Center, Suite A,
                                                                         the greatest “political circus”
      Prairieville, La 70769
                                                                         we have ever seen...the              predicts that home prices will
    *Each office is independently
       owned and operated                                                housing market BOOMED!               continue to rise due to the

                                                                         But will it continue into the year   same issues of low inventory

                                                                         2021? Ha…Hell yes!                   of homes/fewer available
                                                                                                              listings that we saw last year

                                                                         When financial analysts              which will keep interest rates

                                                                         stated in the last quarter of        low into the future…

 REAL KNOWLEDGE. REAL EXPERIENCE. REAL ESTATE                            2020 that the Real Estate            AWESOME NEWS!
I personally look for this to be   analysis report (for free) and
our “New Normal”.                  see what we need to do to get
                                   your home either SOLD…or
I say this in almost every         your beautiful furniture and
column that I write, and I can’t   personal items moved into a
stress this enough…BUYERS          new home that is just perfect
NEED TO ACT FAST TO                for you! Now is the time to
SNAG THESE AVAILABLE               move on selling and buying
HOMES. Waiting to decide           Real Estate…and I couldn’t
and taking your sweet time…        be more excited!!!
will almost guarantee you will
either be in a massive bidding     Happy New Year my friends…
war…or lose out completely         2021 is going to be
due to the competition.            spectacular!                         Janitorial - Office Cleaning • Floor Stripping & Waxing
So, in the year 2021…do                                                       • Carpet Cleaning • COVID 19 Disinfecting
yourself a favor…Call me and
we can discuss how I can                  If you have questions
                                         feel free to contact me:
assist you in selling your home                Ashley Parrott
or buying a new one. I can                   cell: 225.933.6869
                                       email: ashleyparrott@kw.com
give you a complete market

                                                                     Phone: 225.677.2003 • Estimates@briteshineclean.com
Lamar-Dixon Expo Foundation Honors
     Tommy Martinez and Flo Magee
After twenty years of serving
the people of Ascension Parish   Lamar-Dixon Foundation
and the State of Louisiana,      Chairman Jack Rome Jr. told a
Lamar-Dixon Expo Center took     large crowd of friends, family,
some time to recognize and       and elected officials gathered
honor two people who were        for the occasion that while
instrumental in opening the      many people were involved in
facility and bringing it to      starting and operating Lamar-
public prominence.               Dixon, Tommy Martinez and

                                                                                                     In his opening remarks, Parish
                                                                                                     President Clint Cointment
                                                                                                     called Lamar-Dixon “the
                                                                   Flo Magee were to be singled      premier events facility in
                                                                   out for their contributions and   the South.”
                                                                   support which have helped to
                                                                   make the facility the success     “Many people can be
                                                                   it is today.                      thanked for the success of
                                                                                                     Lamar-Dixon, but today we are
and hired their very first        “she has worn every hat that
                                    employee – Flo Magee, whom        has ever been worn here.” He
                                    they had known ever since         said she could drive a tractor,
                                    she had worked for the LSU        operate a fork lift, herd cattle
                                    Ag Center.                        and horses, and market the
                                                                      facility all over the world. She
                                    Mary Lee Dixon told Mr. Rome      retired from Lamar-Dixon in
                                    that Flo not only understood      2016 as General Manager, a
                                    “what we are doing and what       position she had held for
                                    our mission is, she also shares   several years.
                                    the same passion.”
                                                                      In very brief but heartfelt
                                    Flo Magee started with the        remarks, ever humble Flo
                                    organization as an executive      Magee thanked the Foundation
                                    assistant, but eventually,        for the honor and everyone
                                    according to Jack Rome,           who had helped her over the

recognizing two people who
really made all of this
possible,” said President
Cointment.

Mr. Rome gave a brief history
of Lamar-Dixon, going back to
his first discussions with Bill
and Mary Lee Dixon, who he
had known and worked with for
more than a decade. In 1998
they presented him with an
idea to bring to the area a
world-class equestrian facility
that would also accommodate
livestock and foster a love and
appreciation of animals. Once
the idea gelled into a plan, they
put together an organization
years. “I never expected it, and    could operate it and continue          2007, under Parish President     was elected Parish President.
I appreciate all of you who         the vision. The State of               Ronnie Hughes and with the
are here.”                          Louisiana and LSU, while they          assistance of then-Parish        “Tommy’s vision (for Lamar-
                                    recognized the value of                Attorney (and current District   Dixon) exceeded our own,”
Mr. Rome continued that the         Lamar-Dixon and both                   Attorney) Ricky Babin, they      said Jack Rome. “He took the
original plan was to build and      continue to utilize the facility to    signed a long-term lease         mission to the next level,
operate facility until it became    this day, respectfully declined        agreement with the Parish.       through leadership, vision, and
financially stable, and then turn   the offer. So they approached                                           the ability to get things done.”
it over to a public entity which    Ascension Parish. In 2006-             Then in 2008 Tommy Martinez

                                                                          26
Tommy Martinez assembled             and upgrades made to the         to ride out here any weekend          on and on.
the team and found the funding       facility during his term, Mrs.   and see all of the wonderful
to purchase Lamar-Dixon              Martinez read “Not one penny     things going on at Lamar-             As President Cointment said
outright.                            of Ascension Parish              Dixon, even during the                in his opening, “I don’t think
                                     Government money nor any         pandemic,” Mrs. Martinez read.        anyone thought of all of the
“Tommy worked with a lot of          tax dollars were used for this                                         ways that Lamar-Dixon could
people to bring this to fruition,”   upgrade. Every improvement       In recent years, Lamar-Dixon          benefit Ascension Parish and
said his wife Theresa Martinez,      was done with grant money.”      has not only fulfilled its original   the State of Louisiana.”
who read remarks that he had                                          mission, it has taken on
written due to a recent illness.     They credited federal and        countless other roles, including      And thanks to the efforts of
“He was very proud to work           state grant monies obtained      emergency headquarters,               Tommy Martinez and Flo
with Flo Magee over the years        through the Parish grants        staging facility, remote              Magee, it has exceeded
to make this happen.”                department.                      hospital, testing area,               all expectations.
                                                                      evacuation center, festival
In talking about improvements        “We challenge the naysayers      and athletic grounds, and
Steven Tureau Elected to 24th Jucicial District Court, Division B

                               28
29
Westside of                                                                                                      daughter of the late Bernard “BJ”

Ascension Parish
                                                                                                                 Francis, Sr. and the late Janet
                                                                                                                 Ganes Francis. In 1992, Atty.
elects first African-                                                                                            Francis was elected as the first

American woman
                                                                                                                 African-American Mayor in
                                                                                                                 Donaldsonville since the civil war
to serve as Justice
                                                                                                                 era and Mrs. Francis was affec-

of the Peace
                                                                                                                 tionately known as “The Woman
                                                                                                                 who brought Juneteenth to
                                                                                                                 Donaldsonville.”

Tamiko Francis Garrison was                                                                                      Currently Francis-Garrison’s
officially sworn in by Judge Erin                                                                                paternal uncle Reginald
Wiley-Lanoux for First Justice                                                                                   Francis, Sr. currently serves
Court this morning, Thursday,                                                                                    as a Donaldsonville City
December 31, 2020 during a pri-                                                                                  Councilman representing
vate ceremony due to covid re-                                                                                   District Three.
strictions held at City Hall in
Donaldsonville.                         Francis-Garrison, 52, democrat      she served as the interim            Francis-Garrison found out a few
                                        was elected to office on            Ascension Parish Councilwoman        weeks ago that she is not the first
Francis-Garrison will officially take   Saturday, December 5, 2020          for District One making history as   in her family to serve in the role
office on January 1, 2021.              during a run-off with the           the first African-American woman     as Justice of the Peace. Her
                                        42-year incumbent, Andrew           to serve in that role.               maternal great-great grandfather
Francis-Garrison wore a                 Falcon. Francis-Garrison is not                                          Louis Butler, Sr. was elected as
white suit — a nod to the               new to public service as in 2006,   Francis-Garrison is the              Justice of the Peace, First Ward
suffragettes of the Women’s                                                                                      in Ascension Parish on Tuesday,
Suffrage march held on March 3,                                                                                  November 7, 1876. Mr. Butler
1913 - more specifically the 22                                                                                  served in various roles over the
bold founders of Delta Sigma                                                                                     years: in 1867 - Distinguished of
Theta Sorority, Inc.                                                                                             the Convention & Assembly of the
who were among them.                                                                                             Reconstruction of the State of
Francis-Garrison was initiated i                                                                                 Louisiana and 1874 - State
nto the sorority in the                                                                                          Representative.
Spring of 2006.
                                                                                                                 She has been married to her
"I promise to work hard, to be fair,                                                                             husband, Ira, for over 13 years
and to ensure the First Justice                                                                                  and they have one daughter,
Court is fully accessible to the                                                                                 Tamiko.
community that I love," said
Francis-Garrison.

Eastside of                                    On January 6, 2021 history       given their Oath of Office by      upport. The Mayeux's will

Ascension Parish                               was made in Ascension            the Honorable Erin Wiley           be the Justice of the Peace

elects first husband
                                               Parish as its very first         Lanoux in the new                  and Constable of the 2nd

and wife to serve,
                                               husband and wife,                Courthouse in Gonzales;            Justice Court and are very

Constable and
                                               Constable and Justice of the     surrounded by family, friends      eager and excited to
                                               Peace team were sworn in.        and other elected officials        serve the people of
Justice of the Peace                           Thomas and Christie were         showing their love and s           Ascension Parish.
Ascension Parish Comes Out in Big
   Numbers for Hayden White Parade
Over 200 vehicles from fire trucks, to           For the past eight months, Hayden
many more emergency response vehicles,           completed the grueling treatment
to fancy hot rod cars, to uplifted jeeps         schedule at St. Jude Affiliate Clinic inside
came out this past weekend for the               Our Lady of the Lake Children’s Hospital.
 “Surprise No More Chemo parade” for             The surgery also required removing part
Ascension Parish resident Hayden White,          of Hayden’s femur that can be manipu-
stated Chief Officer James E. LeBlanc.           lated to grow with him, stated LeBlanc.

Parents Karen and Corey White, could not         If you live in Ascension Parish, you
thank the more than 200 Ascension                already know, this community continues
Parish residents and vehicles enough             to come out time after time to support our
for showing their love and support for           local residents when they need it, stated
Hayden, (8 years old) for this very large        chief LeBlanc. What a blessing it
community parade for no more chemo               was to see so many people show up,
treatment. The over two mile parade went          to show their support for this
through the White Family neighborhood            Ascension Parish family.
this past weekend.

                                            31
2021-The Year Things Finally Got Better
                (Hopefully)
                                                                                                                by Bill Delaune
 “A man went looking for
America and couldn’t find it
anywhere…”-“Easy Rider”-1969.

  Okay boys and girls, strap
yourselves in tightly in the
Way-Back Time Machine as we
set the dial for 1969 and visit
Wyatt a.k.a.” Captain America”
(Peter Fonda) and Billy (Dennis
Hopper) on their motorcycle
journey across the United States
in search of spiritual freedom.
  The counter-culture classic
“Easy Rider” also featured a
young ACLU lawyer George
Hanson (Jack Nicholson) who
delivers the memorable line-
“This used to be a helluva good
country. I can’t understand
what’s gone wrong with it.”
  Of course, he is beaten to
death by some small town
rednecks while camping out in
Louisiana. But I won’t spoil the
movie for you if it ever pops up
on Netflix-or you can come
watch the uncut version on my
personal DVD. I just found
George’s quote to be eerily
timely over 50 years later.
  However, as a faithful follower
of cousin Rhett’s “Positivity’s a
Plus” Facebook page, I refuse to
dwell on the negative events of
the past and concentrate all of
my positive energy on the
future-namely, this year 2021.
A wiser man than I once said,
“That’s why the Good Lord put
our eyes in front of the head
instead of the back-so we can       to remember the disastrous        few bucks on the side. Thus the     “Got to be the shoes,” smiles
see where we’re going and not       2020 anyway. So without Fred-     Loony Looters are invited to      Looter MVP Astronaut Jones.
where we’ve been.”                  die Adu, let’s start with…        take on the Capitol Chaos in      “These are the Nikes we stole-
  Which brings us to my annual                  January-              the first-and hopefully last-     I mean, borrowed-during the
“Year in Preview” column              After Alabama blasts Ohio       “What’s Happened to Average       last peaceful demonstration.
where I fearlessly prognosticate    State for another national        Americans Bowl”.                  They made all the difference.”
events we can expect to take        championship, the football          The speed of the Looters          Chaos coach Billy Joe-Jim
place in the upcoming year. I       powers-that-be decide to          proves too much for the           Bob Ledbetter had a different
mean-with no offense to the         organize one more football        Chaos’s straight-ahead            take on the outcome despite the
great Miami writer Dave Barry-      game in an effort to unite the    ramming attack and the Loonies    large scoring deficit. “We was
anyone can do a “Year in Re-        splintered country-and make a     dominate 42-14.                   robbed,” he contended.

                                                                     32
view” column. And who wants
“Everyone knows we won and          field of 20, Trump surprises        person can tolerate!”               McConnell and the perennial
the officials stole it from us.”    everyone by not challenging the                November-                candidate Bernie Sanders. And
             February-              outcome and appears quite              President Biden gets his         rising from the ashes of his
   The Coronavirus plays one        pleased with his acquisition.       holidays a bit mixed-up and sets    Florida mansion, like the
last cruel trick on the Super          “At least we can use him for     off a massive July 4th-type         legendary Phoenix, one
Bowl knocking out starting          breeding purposes-that’s where      fireworks display on                Donald J. Trump announces
quarterbacks Drew Brees and         the real money is anyway,”          Thanksgiving causing a rush of      his candidacy.
Patrick Mahomes just before the     he gloats.                          military personnel to the aid of       The early favorite, however,
big game and all back-ups are          Advisers are seen drawing        the already jittery White House     is a Harley-Davidson riding
quarantined with them. Facing a     straws to be the one to inform      security police. After consulting   character known as “Captain
huge loss of TV revenue, Fox        their boss that the horse is        with his wife-who now has her       America” preaching a return to
pulls color man Troy Aikman         a gelding.                          own “Dr. Jill” television show,     individual freedom in
out of the booth to direct the                      June-               Biden agrees to be a one-term       the country.
Chiefs and CBS counters with           Crazy times at LSU as Paul       President setting off a wild           His slogan-“If you have a
Tony Romo to guide the Saints.      Mainieri brings the Tigers back     scramble in the month of…           gun, shoot it-just not at other
   The younger Romo sparks          to Omaha for the College                       December-                people. If you have a smoke,
New Orleans to an easy victory      World Series only to be hit in         Apparently bored with            light it. If your same-sex
but Dallas owner Jerry Jones        the head by Nebraska fans           winning national championships      neighbors want to get
contests the results claiming       waving a sign protesting the        in football, Alabama coach Nick     married, wish them a
that since both replacements        firing of the ex-Cornhusker’s       Saban announces he is entering      happy honeymoon.”
played for his franchise, the       coach Bo Pelini.                    a new field-politics.                  The free spirit also promises
trophy belongs to the Cowboys.         Unable to clear concussion          “If dumb ass Tommy               to bring all the troops home
               March-               protocol, Mainieri is replaced by   Tuberville can win a seat in the    and surround the nation’s
   The NCAA’s March Madness         legendary Tiger mentor Skip         U.S. Senate, I should be able to    borders in spite of the big oil
basketball tournament is            Bertman who reinstates “Gorilla     get elected President,” the         companies’ protests.
scheduled entirely in               Ball” and defeats Texas in          likeable mentor contends.              Oh yeah-and the year ends
Indianapolis and surrounding        the finals.                            Vice president Kamala Harris     without a pandemic or riots by
areas. With seating severely lim-              July-August-             throws her hat into the ring as     either side and everyone has a
ited, the tourney chairman             The Saints open summer           does former vice president          merry Christmas. Please.
enlists the help of former          camp for the first time in years    Mike Pence, Senator Mitch
Indiana coach Bob Knight who        without aging quarterback
agrees to “throw in a few           Drew Brees to become a

                                                                                                                   I’ve got your
chairs”.                            consultant for LSU. Coach Ed

                                                                                                                  back, Thumper!
               April-               Orgeron says Brees will be a
   Bryson DeChambeau of             valuable addition to his staff
Modesto, California appears to      even though “He can’t throw
have won the 2021 Masters           the bomb anymore”.
using his “weird science”              “Besides, my new Defensive
technology to shoot a               Co-coordinator has experience
tournament record 21-under          stopping bombs,” says Coach
par. But President Biden            O. introducing former Secretary

                                                                             I’ve got
intervenes saying, “It would be     of Defense Mark Esper who was

                                                                            yours too
better for the country’s unity if   fired by Donald Trump in

                                                                           Boudreaux!
Tiger Woods was declared the        January. “They should be
winner instead of some              great together. Go Tigers.”
Frenchman.”                                     September-
                May-                   Network executives assure
   Visibly upset over the moving    Ken Jennings his job in not in
of the PGA Championship in          “Jeopardy” after he gives the
New Jersey and the Open             answer to “Greatest Game Show
Championship in Scotland from       Host Ever” as Pat Sajak.
his Trump courses, the                           October-
ex-President decides to explore     A Halloween equality march
a new venture-horse racing.         turns violent when a woman
   Trump purchases a 3-year old     carrying a sign that reads
named Money Means Nothing           “Tolerance” attacks a member                        A SCENSION PA RISH
for a mere five million dollars     of the counter-protest.
and enters the lightly-raced
horse in the Kentucky Derby.
                                       Later she is heard to tell
                                    reporters, “Intolerance, my
                                                                                A N I M A L H O S P I TA L
After Money finishes 19th in a      friends, is a state no tolerant                        225.744.4905
                                                                    33
Capture the Memories

         34
with Kellie
      Useless Random Facts
                                •
   Harvard might be hard to get into with a 4.5 percent                  Give us a call. You may be
admittance rate, but try this on for size: only 2.6 percent of        enjoying crawfish for Christmas!
             Walmart applicants are accepted.
                                •
 Canada makes up 6.67 percent of the Earth's land area
                                •
        In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be
              jailed for cheating on their finals.
                                •                                     225.647.4332 • Hwy. 44 • Gonzales
    Recycling one glass jar, saves enough energy to
                     watch TV for 3 hours.
                                •
           In every episode of Seinfeld there is a
                   Superman somewhere.
                                •
                    Pearls melt in vinegar.
                                •
  The top 3 health-related searches on the Internet are
     (in this order): Depression, Allergies, & Cancer.
                                •
    Jefferson invented the dumbwaiter, the monetary
            system, and the folding attic ladder.
                                •
         The HyperMart outside of Garland Texas

                                                                         We Are Open!
                      has 58 check-outs.
                                •
          The sweat drops drawn in cartoon comic
                    strips are called pleuts.
                                •
  The S in Harry S. Truman did not stand for anything.
                                                                       Stop and Enjoy an After Work Drink.

                                •
                                                                       Snack on our Bar Menu and Observe
                                                                             Restaurant Guidelines.
  There were always 56 curls in Shirley Temple's hair.                   www.parkplaceofgonzales.com
                                                                       1711 S. BURNSIDE • GONZALES • 644-8901
                                                                 35
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