Flourishing Together in Church Leadership - A resource for leaders in the local church - Diocese of Oxford
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Flourishing Together in Church Leadership A resource for leaders in the local church
The Diocese of Oxford is the Church of England in Oxfordshire, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire and Milton Keynes. Together, we are the Church, called and sent by God as disciples of Jesus Christ and filled with the Holy Spirit. We are a living, growing network of more than a thousand congregations, chaplaincies and schools. Together, we are called to be more Christ-like: to be the Church of the Beatitudes: contemplative, compassionate and courageous for the sake of God’s world. Together, we work with God and with others for the common good in every place in one of the great crossroads of the world. Together, we are called to proclaim the Christian faith afresh in this generation with joy and hope and love. Together, we are called to dream dreams and see visions of what could be and see those visions come to birth. oxford.anglican.org/commonvision
Contents
Foreword by the Bishop of Oxford 4
Introduction 6
Flourishing individually and together 8
Self-care audit 9
Mutual care and respect 13
Boundaries and communication for flourishing 16
Mental wellbeing and flourishing 19
Flourishing in roles and responsibilities 21
Flourishing through delegation 24
Flourishing churchwardens 26
Flourishing Parochial Church Councils 29
Flourishing teams 32
Flourishing in a safe church 34
Flourishing clergy families 35
And finally... 37
Notes 39
3
Foreword by the Bishop of Oxford
‘We are the Body of Christ. In the one Spirit we were all baptised
into one body. Let us then pursue all that makes for peace and builds
up our common life.’ [Introductory words to the Peace: Common Worship]
The COVID-19 pandemic has that in God’s eyes we are equal in
placed enormous demands on the worth and status, complementary
communities we serve and on our in gifting, mutually accountable and
churches. The whole church has equal partners in God’s mission.
responded with huge creativity and
Those in ministry roles, both lay
energy: first moving worship, prayer,
and ordained, need support and
pastoral care and community online;
encouragement in their vocation
then engaging with and supporting
and ministry, protection from
needs in the wider community
unreasonable expectations and
in such generous ways, and then
projections, safeguarding of their
beginning the process of re-opening
time off and time with friends and
our churches for private prayer and
family, and the love of a Christian
public worship.
community around them.
The crisis has underlined how much
Those in lay positions of responsibility
we need each other and how much
in our churches need to be affirmed
everyone in any kind of church
and supported as they serve the local
leadership needs to hear Paul’s
church in partnership with clergy and
words to watch over ourselves
Licensed Lay Ministers; they need
and over the whole church (Acts
to be in roles which fit their gifting
20.28). The Church is the whole
and interest, protection from being
people of God – clergy and laity,
overburdened, and to be able to give
gathered and sent – participating
up or change responsibility without
in the mission of God. The recent
suffering from guilt.
Church of England report Setting
God’s People Free1 made it clear Our churches need to be places
that lay people and clergy are equal where all are valued, as we move
partners in the life of a local church. more and more deeply into God’s
love for us. They need to be
As we form Christian community
communities of respectful listening
together, we do it on the basis
in which we discern together how
of our baptismal calling, which
God is at work.
undergirds our understanding
4
In some parishes, clergy and lay but feel frustrated that their limited
people need to learn to relate to time is not well used. Others are
each other differently. Some of the willing to take on responsibilities,
dominant cultures, assumptions but need encouragement, training
and expectations need to be and supervision to enable them to
challenged and reconsidered. flourish. Occasionally, unhealthy
Clergy have sacramental authority, power dynamics emerge, which
and responsibility for worship, but need to be named and challenged.
this is not an invitation to clericalism
The key to a healthy, flourishing
and an assumption that ‘Father (or
church is a shared desire to become
Mother) knows best’. Clergy are
more Christ-like: contemplative,
not indispensable, and feeling as
compassionate and courageous for
if they are can lead to exhaustion
the sake of God’s world.
and burnout. Some can appear
threatened by lay engagement and
lay leadership, and this makes any As God’s chosen ones, holy and
meaningful participation by lay beloved, clothe yourselves with
people in the life of the church very compassion, kindness, humility,
difficult to create or sustain. meekness, and patience. Bear
with one another and, if anyone
Many clergy long to share the
has a complaint against another,
running of the church with lay
forgive each other; just as the
people but find it difficult to
Lord has forgiven you, so you
identify those who have a real
also must forgive. Above all,
desire to participate in this, or
clothe yourselves with love,
find that there is an unevenness of
which binds everything together
commitment in those who do. In
in perfect harmony.
some parishes, lay people appear
(Col. 3:12–14)
to act as ‘consumers’ of a service
rather than partners in the building
of God’s Kingdom, leaving all the
work to the vicar and complaining
when the results disappoint them.
January 2021
Many lay people have rich gifts,
skills and experience to bring to the
tasks of leadership in the church
5Introduction
Flourishing Together is a practical resource, primarily for
churchwardens, PCC members and lay members of ministry teams, as
they work with clergy and those in authorised lay ministry in leading
the local church. It will help lay leaders to establish and maintain
good practice: in prayerful, collaborative ministry; and in caring for
ourselves and others by having reasonable expectations of each
other in our differing areas of responsibility.
What we offer here is also help you to participate in that
encouragement: conversation.
• to care for your own health and The Covenant for the Care and
wellbeing, as an individual and Well-being of Clergy was based
as a church leader, in whatever on the belief that ‘when clergy are
way is right for you healthy and well-supported, they
are able to focus on others, while
• to attend, with care, to the
also looking after their own needs
health and wellbeing of those
with the strength and realism which
who share church leadership
that support gives them. That way
with you
the whole church is blessed and
• to establish and maintain healthy enriched.’
and sustainable patterns of work
‘Healthy leaders make healthy
within your role.
churches’
Roger Matthews
In February 2020 the General
Synod of the Church of England
In parallel with the work of the
agreed a Covenant for the Care
national church, the Diocese of
and Well-being of Clergy2. As
Oxford published Flourishing
part of this work, General Synod
in Ministry, which ordained and
invites local churches and dioceses
lay ministers have found helpful
across the country to consider how
in seeking to ‘keep watch over
they can support the wellbeing of
yourselves’ (Acts 20:28) as they
clergy by participating in The Big
exercise ministry in God’s Church.
Conversation about clergy care
and wellbeing.3 This booklet will
6oxford.anglican.org/
flourishing
We have a common vision to
be a more Christ-like Church:
contemplative, compassionate and
courageous for the sake of God’s
world. The way in which we realise
this vision will be different in every
community. Our large and diverse
Diocese encompasses churches of
different sizes, traditions, contexts
and leadership structures. Some
parts of this booklet may be more
or less relevant in your particular
context. Do use what is useful and
leave what is not.
We hope that the examples of
good practice and useful resources
in this booklet will better equip all
in positions of church leadership to
flourish together as we grow God’s
kingdom in our local communities.
If you have further suggestions for
good practice or resources that
might be useful to others, email
flourish@oxford.anglican.org
7Flourishing individually and together
The Church is called to model a different way of living – a way of
fulfilment and wholeness where all can flourish. This is especially true
in anxious times and against a background of growing awareness of
mental health issues. It’s not an easy calling. Yet when we work well
together, as the whole people of God, lay and ordained, we offer a
powerful alternative model for life and ministry – and others notice.
In better caring for ourselves and for others within our respective
roles we both obey Jesus’ command to ‘love one another’ (John
13:35) and witness to the fullness of life Christ brings (John 10:10).
One small booklet cannot address those who love you is important.
the wellbeing needs of every Whatever it is, the time we each
person in every church context. spend taking care of our own
Each of us is an individual and we wellbeing is not selfish or optional
all flourish in different ways. In but an important part of being a
addition, our churches are set in human who is loved and called by
different contexts; urban, suburban God. God rested on the sabbath,
or rural, small or large. and we must rest too (Ex. 20:11).
Take a moment to contemplate how
Your wellbeing
you care for your own wellbeing by
What promotes your wellbeing? For answering the questions in the self-
some it will be running marathons care audit on pages 9–11.
or joining a rambling group. Others
The audit can also be downloaded:
will enjoy meeting friends in the
pub or having a long soak in the oxford.anglican.org/
bath, going to a football match flourishing-together
or curling up with a good book.
(see Self-care)
Spending time with family and
8Self-care audit
This assessment tool provides an overview of effective strategies to
maintain self-care. After completing the full assessment, choose one
item from each area that you will actively work to improve.
Using the scale below, rate ■ Get enough sleep
the following areas in terms of
■ Wear clothes you like
frequency:
■ Take holidays
5 Frequently (I make it a priority)
■ Take day trips or short breaks
4 Fairly regularly (I do it if I can)
■ Make time away from telephones
3 Occasionally (ad hoc with some
pattern of frequency) ■ Other
2 Rarely (ad hoc with no pattern of
Psychological self-care
frequency)
■ Make time for self-reflection
1 Never (not at all or never even
occurred to me) ■ Write in a journal
■ Read books, etc. that are
Physical self-care
unrelated to work
■ Eat regularly (e.g. breakfast,
■ Do something in which you are
lunch and dinner)
not the expert or in charge
■ Eat a healthy diet
■ Decrease stress in your life
■ Exercise
■ Let others know different
■ Get regular medical care for aspects of you
prevention
■ Notice your inner experience
■ Get medical care when needed – listen to your thoughts,
judgements, beliefs, attitudes,
■ Take time off when needed
and feelings
■ Get massages
■ Dance, swim, walk, run, play
sports, sing, or do some other
physical activity that is fun
9■ Engage your intelligence in Spiritual self-care
a new area, e.g. go to an art
gallery, history exhibit, sports ■ Make time for reflection
event, auction, theatre ■ Spend time with nature
■ Practise receiving from others ■ Find a spiritual connection or
■ Be curious community
■ Say no to extra responsibilities ■ Be open to inspiration
sometimes ■ Cherish your optimism and hope
■ Other ■ Be aware of non-material
aspects of life
Emotional self-care
■ Try at times not to be in charge
■ Spend time with others whose or the expert
company you enjoy
■ Be open to not knowing
■ Stay in contact with people
important to you ■ Identify what is meaningful to
you and notice its place in your
■ Give yourself affirmation, praise life
yourself
■ Meditate
■ Love yourself
■ Pray
■ Re-read favourite books/re-
watch favourite films ■ Sing
■ Identify comforting activities, ■ Have experiences of awe
objects, relationships, places ■ Contribute to causes in which
and seek them out you believe
■ Allow yourself to cry ■ Seek out things that inspire you
■ Find things that make you laugh (books, talks, podcasts, music,
etc.)
■ Express your outrage in social
action, letters and donations, ■ Other
marches, protests
■ Other
10Workplace or professional Balance
self-care
■ Strive for balance within your
■ Take a break during the work day work life and work day
(e.g. lunch)
■ Strive for balance in work, family
■ Take time to chat with co- life, relationships, play and rest
workers
What stands out that you want to
■ Make quiet time to complete improve on most?
tasks
■ Identify projects or tasks that are
exciting and rewarding
■ Set limits with your parishioners/
colleagues
■ Balance your workload so that no
one day or part of a day is ‘too
much’
■ Arrange your work space so it is
relaxing and comforting
■ Get regular supervision or
consultation
■ Have a peer support group
■ Develop a non-stressful area of
professional interest
■ Other
Adapted by the Diocese of Oxford from the Flourish! Self-Care Toolkit published by the
Churches of Northern Ireland and Lighthouse. For more details see wewillflourish.com
11What do you notice? Where do You might want to jot down some
you need to pay more attention to notes to remind you of what
your wellbeing? It might help you to happens when you’re working well
reflect on these questions on your with others.
own or with someone you trust.
You have probably reflected on
Do the audit again in a few months’ sharing enthusiasm for the task and
time and notice what has changed. enjoying each other’s company, and
Can you encourage others who perhaps some of the following:
share church leadership with you to
• clear roles and responsibilities
do the audit too?
• excellent communication
Most of us work with others for
considerable amounts of time. Our • mutual care and respect
working environment, whether paid
• clear boundaries.
or voluntary, can have a significant
effect on our general sense of
You might have come up with
wellbeing. Everyone in church
additional aspects of working well
leadership, lay and ordained,
with others.
is encouraged to establish and
maintain healthy and sustainable On the following pages you’ll find:
patterns of work within their role
• practical ideas and advice from
which will enable them and others
others in church leadership
to flourish.
across the Diocese
Your own experience • some indications of reasonable
expectations churches should
Take a moment to reflect on a
have of clergy, Licensed Lay
time when you worked well with
Ministers and others in church
others, whether or not it was within
leadership roles, whether full-
a church context. How did that
time or part-time
experience make you feel? What
contributed to that experience of • resources for further support
working well? and information.
12Mutual care and respect
Having a culture in which all are treated with dignity and respect,
free from intimidation and harassment, is the first step in ensuring
the wellbeing of all. The commandment to ‘love one another as I have
loved you’ (John 13:34) is central to our Christian discipleship. We are
called to challenge aggressive and discriminatory behaviours and to
create communities where everyone feels reassured that they will be
treated with respect.
The Diocese’s Dignity and Respect What do church leaders find
in Ministry and at Work policy has helpful?
been designed to empower anyone
■ Make sure communication
who feels they may have been the
(verbal, written and electronic) is
victim of unacceptable behaviour
always courteous and respectful.
such as bullying or harassment,
Resist the temptation to hit
whether minor or otherwise, to
the send button on emails too
take action, and sets out ways in
soon. Some people go away and
which we can treat one another with
return to re-read an email later
dignity and respect.
(or maybe the following morning)
As we seek to support each other before deciding to send it.
to flourish in our ministries, we all
■ Be honest – and kind – with each
need to be sensitive to each other’s
other. Speak the truth in love
feelings and sense of privacy.
(Eph. 4:15).
Asking how someone is, and
showing genuine interest, is usually ■ Respect each other’s
received very differently from individuality and personal space.
‘you should…’ statements of well- We all need privacy from time to
intentioned but thinly veiled advice. time, especially when we’re often
in the public eye.
‘… think about how best you
can talk about clergy care and ■ Accept that some people
wellbeing with your local clergy, choose to protect their private
in a way that is supportive, but lives more than others. Inviting
definitely not intrusive’ people to an event is fine,
Reflection and Action for Local assuming acceptance is not.
Congregations
13■ Give each other space to Support and resources
process. Those who offer
pastoral care to others may ■ Dignity and Respect in Ministry
need the space to process these and at Work (The Diocese of
encounters, especially when they Oxford) (see Dignity*)
are particularly difficult or touch ■ Talk to your Parish Development
a nerve. Adviser about how s/he can
■ Agree and uphold a code of support you as you establish a
conduct for meetings. culture of greater mutual care
and respect.
■ Ask yourself how you would want (oxford.anglican.org/parish-
to be treated, and treat others in development-advisers)
this way.
■ Honest Conversations
■ Understand that different in Churches: Exploring
personality types respond to expectations together by
situations differently. What Elizabeth Jordan (Grove Books)
about doing a personality
testing exercise with people you ■ Challenging Bullying in Churches
work with closely? (For example, by Rosemary Power (Grove
Myers Briggs, Belbin for Teams, Books)
Gilmore Fraleigh.) ■ The Power of Vulnerability – a
TED talk from Brené Brown
Reasonable expectations of (see Vulnerability*)
all church leaders include:
■ The Science of Emotions – a
■ not being available 24/7 TEDx talk from Jaak Panksepp
■ not being contacted when (see Emotions*)
taking time off, unless there are
exceptional circumstances
■ personal and family boundaries
being respected.
*oxford.anglican.org/flourishing-together
14PCC Code of Conduct
Over the years, the PCC has developed a set of ‘ground rules’ which
underpin the conduct of the meetings. Some may feel a little prescriptive
but over time they have proved their worth in facilitating trust, honesty
and accountability.
These ‘ground rules’ are as follows:
• Contributions to discussions are made through the chair.
• We aim to listen carefully to one another.
• While verbal discussion about agenda items with members of the
congregation and other Council members is to be encouraged,
to avoid confusion and factions, it is asked that PCC members do
not use emails, letters or social media as a means of discussing
Council decisions following a meeting or of debating an issue prior
to a meeting. If a PCC member is unable to attend a meeting and
wishes their views to be taken into consideration, an email or letter
outlining these views should be sent to the chair who will then
ensure that the views are fed into the discussion at the meeting.
• Discussions at PCC are confidential, but decisions and minutes
belong to the whole church and will be communicated later.
• Discussions are to be conducted with grace and love, speaking and
listening to each other with respect – particularly when we disagree
with one another – remembering that we are elected to represent the
views of church members, not just our own agenda.
• If a decision is taken by the majority of the Council it is the
responsibility of the whole Council to then support it.
• If there is a paper or indeed any supporting document that is maybe
of interest or help to the whole Council, relating to an agenda item, it
should first be sent to the vicar.
Reprinted with kind permission from the CPAS resource PCC Tonight.
15Boundaries and communication for flourishing
Setting and maintaining clear boundaries is important in all
aspects of our lives. It helps us to say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ without a sense
of obligation or guilt. This is particularly relevant in our church
responsibilities, which can build up over time because ‘there’s no-
one else to do it’, ‘it’s quicker to do it myself’ or ‘it’s only this once’.
This is a slippery slope and before we know it we’ve lost sight of the
healthy boundaries that enable us to protect other vital aspects of
our lives which help us to flourish.
Advice from church leaders – ■ Be sensitive to others in
both ordained and lay: ‘crossover’ times, when they
might be attending church social
■ Make sure each member
functions. Are they in role or not?
of clergy’s day off is known
If not, don’t talk shop with them.
and respected, except in an
emergency. ■ Streamline the number of
meetings you hold or attend and
■ Be clear about what is an
make sure their purpose is clear.
emergency and what constitutes
the need to be contacted or to ■ Make it a priority to have
contact others in an emergency. administrative help for clergy.
■ Establish and maintain a rhythm ■ Suggest clergy divert their
of sabbath each week which phones when taking a day off.
enables you and those close Consider (you or someone else)
to you to rest and flourish. This offering to answer diverted calls,
is not an optional extra in the perhaps on a rota basis.
Christian life (Ex. 20:8).
Below are some points all church
■ Be clear (with yourself and
leaders can consider in establishing
others) when you are on and
sustainable boundaries and
off duty. This is particularly
ensuring good communication:
important for those exercising
leadership voluntarily • Consider how best to
alongside other work or caring communicate with other church
responsibilities. leaders. In some circumstances
a face-to-face conversation
16or a phone call will be more • take an annual retreat of
appropriate than a quickly sent approximately five days
email, especially when dealing
• take time each day to say
with sensitive issues. In other
morning and evening prayer,
circumstances it will be more
either alone or with others
appropriate to communicate
in writing or by email so that a • take regular time for reflection,
full paper-trail can be kept, for prayer and study
example regarding safeguarding
• take at least five days a
issues or in order to manage
year for personal ministerial
anxiety and good mental health.
development
• Publish a clear contact list for
• take the full annual leave
enquiries.
entitlement of 36 days, including
• Respect the private time and 4–6 Sundays
family space of others, lay and
• full reimbursement of reasonable
ordained.
expenses incurred as part of
• Be sensitive to the need for ministry.
privacy of clergy families living in
church houses. Remember that it At a local level, Self-Supporting
is their home. Ministers and Licensed Lay
Ministers will have working
• Try to avoid answering the
agreements which can take into
phone or sending emails before
account individual circumstances.
9am and after 9pm, unless for
personal circumstances or in an
oxford.anglican.org/
emergency.
flourishing-together
(see Working Agreement)
Those in a church leadership role
should know that stipendiary clergy
All clergy and lay church leaders are
are entitled to:
encouraged to take time regularly
• take at least one 24-hour period to reflect and pray with a spiritual
of rest from ministry on a regular director. For many clergy, it will also
day each week be useful to work with a ministry
accompanier from time to time.
17Support and resources • Talk about taking time off (John
Truscott Resources)
• Refusing to be Indispensable: (see Time off*)
Vacating the centre of church life
by Andy Griffiths (Grove Books) • Become a better emailer (John
Truscott Resources)
• Honest Conversations (see Email*)
in Churches: Exploring
expectations together by • Church members can burn out
Elizabeth Jordan (Grove Books) too (John Truscott Resources)
(see Burnout*)
• Transforming Conversation: How
Jesus talked to people by Rob ‘When my children were small,
Bewley (Grove Books) one challenged me as to why
• oxford.anglican.org/spiritual- someone from church was more
direction important than them when I
answered the phone during our
• oxford.anglican.org/ministry- evening meal. Lesson learned –
accompaniers the answerphone is always on
• Recording a voicemail message and I can choose to answer the
(John Truscott Resources) phone or give priority to my
(see Voicemail*) family.’
A Licensed Lay Minister
• Making a case for change (John
Truscott Resources)
(see Change*)
*oxford.anglican.org/flourishing-together
18Mental wellbeing and flourishing
In the last few years, there has been a helpful, and long overdue,
focus on the importance of building resilience for mental wellbeing.
It is becoming clear that if we don’t pay attention to our mental
wellbeing we risk tipping over into mental illness. Many of us, to
some extent or other, are affected by issues of mental illness: for
ourselves, among our families, friends or church, and in the wider
community. We are aware of the importance of caring for our own
mental wellbeing and that of others with whom we share leadership
in the church, but it can be surprisingly difficult to do.
Good practice: ■ Try to spend time in a place you
can relax, such as the garden.
■ Be alert to signs of anxiety
or depression in yourself and ■ Try to take regular breaks from
others. work.
■ Be aware of what makes you or ■ If possible, turn your phone off
others feel stressed, and try to at least an hour before you go to
minimise the effects of stress. bed.
■ Be aware that some times of ■ Be aware of how much of your
year (e.g. Advent, Lent) may day you spend in front of a
be particularly stressful for all computer and ask yourself (or
church leaders. someone you trust) whether it’s
reasonable.
■ Monitoring your workload and
noticing extended periods of
There is a strong link between
busyness can help avoid the
mental and physical wellbeing, so
damaging effects of overwork.
look after your physical wellbeing
■ Can you encourage your too. Ask yourself:
colleagues to monitor their own
■ Am I getting enough sleep?
workload too? Take care, though,
not to do this in a way that might ■ How healthy is my eating and my
be received as intrusive. alcohol intake?
19■ Do I exercise regularly enough? • The Society of Mary and Martha,
Can I take a break to go for a Sheldon – a Christian retreat
walk today? centre specialising in wellbeing
(sheldon.uk.com)
■ Am I spending a reasonable
amount of time on my hobbies • Sheldon Hub – a confidential
each week? online forum for clergy
(sheldonhub.org)
Sometimes, despite our best
• Spiritual direction
intentions, the small things which
(spidirnetwork.org.uk)
could help us avoid or ease mental
illness are precisely the things that • Ministry accompanier’s network
having a mental illness prevents us (oxford.anglican.org/ministry-
from doing, such as taking regular accompaniers)
exercise or avoiding long periods
• Oxford Mindfulness Centre
of overwork. Be alert to signs of
(oxfordmindfulness.org)
anxiety or depression in yourself
and others. It could indicate an Do not hesitate to contact your
emerging mental health issue. If archdeacon if you need support.
you are concerned, the following
support structures and resources ‘Things in the parish really got
might help you take the next step. me down for a couple of years.
I realised I was struggling, but
Support and resources I did my best to hide it from
• Mind (mind.org.uk) everyone in church. I was worried
depression would affect my
• Anxiety UK (anxietyuk.org.uk) prospects of finding my next
• Depression UK role. I’m so glad I went to my GP
(depressionuk.org) for help. I feel I can cope again
now.’
• Beat – eating disorders charity A full-time vicar
(beateatingdisorders.org.uk)
20Flourishing in roles and responsibilities
Active Christian ministry, whether full-time or part-time, lay or
ordained, can be demanding and challenging. For some of us this
is because ministry and mission are a natural part of our lives as
Christian disciples and can’t be separated from other aspects of
life. For others, the ever-present expectation that there is more we
could do is difficult to overlook. Though some have Statements of
Particulars, job descriptions or working agreements, few ministry
roles are clearly defined and there are seldom clear, measurable
and bounded objectives to be completed. Ministry is, by its nature,
ongoing and open-ended.
Lack of clarity over roles and ■ Sometimes it can be helpful
responsibilities of church leaders, for key colleagues (such as
whether lay or ordained, can lead churchwardens) to be involved in
to uncertainty, frustration, and shaping the role descriptions of
even conflict between leaders. A clergy to ensure that workload is
proactive approach to clarifying at an appropriate level.
roles and responsibilities for lay and
■ Be open to renegotiating these
ordained church leaders can help to
agreements when necessary,
avoid confusion and frustration.
such as in periods of prolonged
illness or changes in personal
Advice from lay and ordained
circumstances.
church leaders:
■ Establish clear lines of authority
■ Establish clear – and realistic –
and accountability for all roles.
working agreements and areas
of responsibility for all roles. ■ Establish and follow an appropriate
annual reflection process for all
■ Share working agreements
roles to reflect with a trusted
(or job descriptions/ministry
person on the past year and seek
agreements) between members
God’s guidance for the year ahead.
of leadership teams. This will
help lay and ordained leaders ■ Seek the support of deanery and
to understand the wider context diocesan staff when appropriate,
of each other’s ministries and for example by using Parish
where bottlenecks are likely to Development Advisers to
occur. facilitate an away-day.
21■ Discuss and clarify the distinctive • Refer to the benefice profile to
roles of the ministry team and reflect on how the work of the
the PCC (see page 29). benefice is moving forward.
■ Participate in high-quality Those in a church leadership
training when needed role should be aware that the
(separately or with fellow church appropriate conduct of clergy is laid
leaders). out fully in the Guidelines for the
professional conduct of the clergy
■ Enable individuals to lay down
2015. It is helpful to bear in mind
a role or responsibility when
that clergy have responsibilities and
appropriate. This will probably
commitments as part of their role.
include celebrating what has
These include the responsibility for:
been good and affirming about
their time in the role, and • chairing PCC meetings, unless
praying for God’s guidance for s/he has authorised an elected
the future. lay vice-chair to chair meetings
• sharing leadership with
When there are new members of a
appropriate lay leaders
leadership team:
• the worship within the church(es).
• Take the earliest opportunity to
meet as a team to get to know
Clergy are committed to:
one another and to establish
some healthy ground rules and • establishing and exercising a
boundaries. daily pattern of ministry that
models a prayerful and enriching
• Discuss and agree new working
Christian life, which may include
agreements for all roles.
time spent with and for family,
• Discuss team members’ gifts others, and self
and passions so that each feels
• spending time with people
valued and affirmed. You could
who don’t attend church. Parish
use Personal Discipleship Plans
clergy have a duty of care for
to help with this.
all residents of the parish,
oxford.anglican.org/personal- regardless of their faith
discipleship-plan
22• taking time to reflect on their
ministry before the annual
Ministerial Development Review
– this includes reflecting on
wellbeing and self-care.
Support and resources
• Church Representation Rules
(see CRR*)
• Guidelines for the professional
conduct of the clergy 2015
(see Guidelines*)
• Rotas, Rules and Rectors
by Matthew Clements
(Troubador Publishing Ltd)
• Healthy Leaders and Healthy
Churches by Roger Matthews
(Grove Books)
• Leading in a Second Chair:
Insights for first- and second-
chair leaders by Tim Harle
(Grove Books)
• The role of a church leader
(John Truscott Resources)
(see Leader*)
*oxford.anglican.org/flourishing-together
23Flourishing through delegation
Delegating well is an art which can be learned, practised and
developed. As church consultant John Truscott notes, ‘Delegating
is far more than dumping work you do not want to do yourself on
someone else. It is a long-term means of developing people to be the
best that they can be in service for God.’4
A key skill in being a good leader ■ Don’t change the goalposts,
is knowing how to use your own especially not at the last
gifts and those of others wisely. minute and without proper and
Understanding your own strengths appropriate communication.
and limitations and those of your
■ ‘Check in’ from time to time with
team is foundational and allows you
the person who has taken on the
to discern when to hand over the
role. Be available to support and
responsibility for certain aspects of
advise, while being careful not to
your role to others. Consider using
micro-manage.
a Personal Discipleship Plan to
identify your own gifts and those of ■ Give gentle and honest feedback
your fellow leaders. to help with development.
■ Allow the person doing the role
Advice from church leaders:
to make mistakes and learn from
■ Be clear about what the task/ them.
role involves, both in terms of
■ Value and respect the
responsibility and time.
contribution of the person
■ Be clear about accountability and to whom the task has been
allow people to ‘own’ the role. delegated. Don’t criticise behind
their back.
■ Be clear about expectations,
deadlines and results. ■ Thank the person for their
contribution – whatever the
■ Arrange training and
result!
development opportunities
where required. ■ Don’t take credit for the work of
someone else.
■ Allow the person you’ve asked
to say ‘No’ if they feel that’s the ■ Don’t apportion blame if results
right response. don’t turn out as expected.
24■ Don’t expect the task to be done
as you would do it.
Support and resources
• Personal Discipleship Plan:
oxford.anglican.org/personal-
discipleship-plan
• How to give and receive criticism
(John Truscott Resources)
(see Criticism*)
• Working with a No 2 (John
Truscott Resources)
(see No 2*)
• Set my leaders free (John
Truscott Resources)
(see Free*)
• How not to Delegate! (John
Truscott Resources)
(see Not delegate*)
‘Delegation is a long-term
investment, not a quick fix. Do
you ever micro-manage those
you delegate to – or leave them
without any help?’
John Truscott
*oxford.anglican.org/flourishing-together
25Flourishing churchwardens
The churchwarden’s role is set within the wider volunteer culture
of the church. While churchwardens themselves are, of course,
volunteers, this essential role differs from other voluntary roles
within the church. Churchwardens are bishop’s officers, elected by
the meeting of parishioners for their experience, gifts and skills, and
admitted to office annually by the archdeacon.
The role of churchwarden is a different speeds… It’s there and
position of responsibility and it just does the job, quietly and
trust which calls for discretion and continuously, day in, day out’. His
discernment. Knowing when – and excellent and very readable book is
when not – to share information a helpful and wise reflection on the
with others is an important gift in important role of churchwardens.
this role.
Advice from churchwardens:
Arguably the most important gift
is the time you can give to the ■ Accept that you can’t and
role. For some, time will be limited shouldn’t do everything yourself.
by combining the role with a full-
■ Be clear about what are the
time job and numerous family
essentials of the role and what
commitments. Others will have
are additions that can be done
fewer personal commitments and
by others, or not done at all.
will be happy to give more time to
their church activities. Give what ■ Find other people to take on
time you can, while caring for your the parts of the role that can be
own wellbeing and that of your shared, such as administration.
family, and don’t feel guilty or
■ Be clear about the amount
pressured into giving more time
of time you will spend on
than you reasonably can.
churchwarden duties. It shouldn’t
As Matthew Clements notes in be a full-time job.
Rules, Rotas and Rectors, the
■ Meet regularly with your fellow
churchwarden is like ‘the oil in a
churchwardens, the clergy and
car engine which lubricates all
ministry team.
the moving parts. By doing so, it
reduces friction between various ■ Participate in training for
components which move at churchwardens.
26■ Be available and approachable Reasonable expectations for
when people want to speak to churchwardens include:
you. Be careful, though, that you
are not constantly available and • meeting with the clergy team at
that you are discreet in what you least monthly to discuss ministry
share. and missional matters
■ Try to remain impartial when • having clarity about the roles
there are disputes within the and responsibilities of clergy and
church. other church leaders
■ Remember that you are the • maintaining open and honest
bishop’s officer and have direct communication channels
access to the bishop if you have • praying together when you meet.
concerns about your clergy. In
fact, you have a duty to speak to Support and resources
the bishop when necessary.
• Diocesan guidance for
■ Remember that your term churchwardens (oxford.
of office is for one year. If anglican.org/guidance-for-
necessary, or appropriate, you churchwardens)
can stand down when your term
of office comes to an end. • Churchcare (churchofengland.
org/more/church-resources/
■ Ask for help from the Area Dean churchcare)
and/or Deanery Lay Chair when
needed, especially when the • Rotas, Rules and Rectors
parish is in vacancy. Remember by Matthew Clements
that the Area Dean shares (Troubadour Publishing Ltd).
responsibility with the wardens
when a parish is in vacancy. ‘the churchwarden is ultimately
responsible for almost everything
■ Have access to email and know
in a church that does not need
the basics of using a computer.
to be done by the vicar. If the
■ Plan for the future. You won’t churchwarden doesn’t do it, then
always be the churchwarden. s/he is responsible for making sure
Who can you bring alongside that it gets done by someone.’
you now to mentor? Matthew Clements
27Canada Geese fly in formation. When one leader tires, another will take the lead. 28
Flourishing Parochial Church Councils
The Parochial Church Council (PCC), together with the vicar and
the churchwardens, form the leadership of a parish. The PCC has a
similar role to the board of trustees of a charity, with certain legal
responsibilities. PCC members work with others to lead the church in
‘promoting in the parish the whole mission of the Church, pastoral,
evangelistic, social and ecumenical’.5
Being a PCC member is a significant of up to three years and have a
leadership role and a position year of rest after three consecutive
of trust and service to the whole three-year terms. This allows
church. The role, like that of long-standing members to stand
churchwarden, is set within a wider down, permanently or for a year,
volunteer culture and relies on without guilt. While there are clear
the goodwill and commitment of regulations about the size of a PCC,
volunteers. it will help the working of the PCC
if it is in the ‘Goldilocks zone’ –
Each PCC member will be able to
neither too large nor too small.
offer different amounts of time
to church activity. Whatever time
Good practice for PCCs:
is offered should be respected
by the church community. Many ■ Be clear about the role of
PCC members attend meetings the PCC, especially that PCC
after long days at work and might members are trustees of a
not even have eaten before charity and must comply with
the meeting. Some will feel the charity law.
pressure of expectation from self
■ Have a good PCC chair. The
or others to give more time, but it’s
incumbent is the chair of the
important to keep a balance with
PCC and can choose to delegate
your other commitments and care
the role to an elected deputy lay
for your own wellbeing and that of
chair for the whole or part of a
your family. You shouldn’t feel guilty
meeting or meetings. If chairing
or pressured into giving more time
meetings is not within the skill
than you reasonably can.
set of the incumbent, encourage
The Church of England’s Church them to delegate!
Representation Rules indicate that
PCC members should serve a term
29■ Give everyone an equal chance at the same venue (so that
to speak. When a few people shared clergy and Licensed Lay
dominate a meeting and others Ministers can attend part of each
remain silent, the discussions meeting).
will be the poorer, and you risk
■ Seek the support of deanery or
making poor decisions.
diocesan staff when needed.
■ Use small working groups when
appropriate. Reasonable expectations of
all PCC members include:
■ Be clear about lines of authority
and accountability. • attending and participating in
most PCC meetings
■ Begin and end meetings on
time. • arriving in enough time for
meetings to start promptly
■ Reflect on a Bible passage at the
start of every PCC meeting, for • treating fellow PCC members
example by Dwelling in the Word with respect at all times
(see resources).
• when disagreements arise,
■ Pray together at meetings. If disagreeing well with other PCC
this feels like a ‘nod to God’, members
try different ways of praying
• accepting the final decision of
together.
the PCC and supporting it when
■ Circulate draft minutes with clear communicating with others, even
actions within two weeks of a when it conflicts with your own
PCC meeting. view.
■ Agree and uphold a ‘code of Sometimes, and for various reasons,
conduct’ for meetings. (See PCCs struggle to work as effective
page 15.) teams. There might also be issues
which cause conflict. One of the
■ Establish and use an induction
best resources to help PCCs is the
process for new PCC members.
CPAS resource PCC Tonight. This
■ In multi-parish benefices, have six-session course helps PCCs to
all PCCs meet in different rooms understand their role and structure
30meetings that are a joy, rather than
merely a duty or responsibility.
Support and resources
• Dwelling in the Word
(oxford.anglican.org/how-to-
dwell-in-the-word)
• PCC Tonight (CPAS)
This includes liturgy for a
PCC meeting and other
prayer resources.
(see PCC Tonight*)
• Mission-shaped church councils
(John Truscott Resources)
(see Group*)
‘I’m very tired after a full day at
work, so it’s hard to go out to
a meeting that won’t end until
10pm. I want to serve on the PCC
of my church, but…’
A PCC member
*oxford.anglican.org/flourishing-together
31Flourishing teams
Team working is a ‘given’ in many situations: in churches, in the
voluntary sector and in the workplace. But not all teams work
together well. In some cases, a team isn’t even a team – it’s a group.
When people gather because they you work together better and to
have something in common (e.g. achieve your common purpose.
Christian faith), they are a group.
So, we could call our congregation Advice from team leaders
a group of Christians assembling and members:
for worship. A group becomes a
■ Establish a clear purpose and
team when the people are working
common goal from the outset
towards a common purpose,
– and ensure this is known and
sharing resources, knowledge and
supported by all team members.
skills. A good PCC will function as
a team, working together to lead ■ Develop trust and shared
the church and share their skills, commitment to the team by
rather than as a group of individuals building relationships.
gathering to discuss church
■ Be clear about what is agreed,
matters. When a team works well
who is responsible and the
together, the common purpose is
deadline date.
achieved and things get done.
■ Support and uphold team
When you’re working with others
decisions, even if you disagree
it’s useful to check whether you’re
with them.
operating as a group or a team. It
might help you to look at the short ■ Take an annual away-day
guide from John Truscott: ‘What together outside the parish for
makes a group a team’. reflection and planning.
■ Learn to disagree well.
oxford.anglican.org/
flourishing-together ■ Assume the best of each other.
(see Team)
■ Forgive each other.
When you are clear about this, you ■ Be willing to be held to account.
can decide whether or not you
■ Build vision together.
need to change anything to help
32Support and resources A good volunteer culture is ‘a
system of shared assumptions,
• How to lead a team at church values and beliefs that govern
(John Truscott Resources) how people behave with one
(see Lead team*) another within the environment
• Group behaviours to be aware of we operate in. If our aspiration
(John Truscott Resources) is to become more Christ-
(see Group*) like – a more contemplative,
compassionate and courageous
• Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Church, then this should run
Patrick Lencioni (John Wiley & through the way we engage with
Sons); see also Five Dysfunctions our volunteers, this becomes our
YouTube video culture.’
(see Dysfunctions*) A churchwarden
• Beware committees (John
Truscott Resources)
(see Beware committees*)
• Relationships
The Science of Emotions – a
TEDx talk from Jaak Panksepp.
(see Emotions*)
*oxford.anglican.org/flourishing-together
33Flourishing in a safe church
Churches are communities in which all kinds of power dynamics
operate, and their effects can range from minor annoyance through
to actual harm being done. Sometimes within a church everyone
colludes in turning a blind eye to what is happening, which leads to
the creation of an environment in which all kinds of abuse can occur.
It is an issue which we all need to take seriously, and we need to be
willing to challenge and be open to challenge from those around us,
whatever position we hold.
Here are some first principles: the Disclosure and Barring
Service (DBS) process.
• Any kind of bullying,
manipulation, gaslighting, abuse • Some mistreatment can be
of power or position has no subtle and can be directed
place in a church. Those who are against an individual who is in
aware of it have a responsibility some way different – disabled,
to challenge it, and we all have gay, divorced, autistic. People
a duty to protect and support who are lonely or isolated can be
those who fall victim to it. at particular risk of harm.
• Just because someone has been • Sometimes things go wrong
around in the church for a long under our noses, because dots
time does not mean that they have not been joined, or people
are above challenge or scrutiny. have not been sufficiently
Unacceptable behaviour needs curious to ask the right
to be called out. questions. If it smells bad, it has
probably gone off!
• The church must be a safe place
for everyone. This can only • When we suspect that something
happen when we all see the is not right, we may need external
cultivation of this as essential support. Never hesitate to
rather than a tick-box exercise. It contact an Area Dean, Lay Chair,
is not simply the responsibility of Parish Development Adviser,
the Parish Safeguarding Officer. archdeacon or bishop.
• All those in positions of
Support and resources
responsibility should engage
with safeguarding training and oxford.anglican.org/safeguarding
34Flourishing clergy families
Living and working in a church house long-term brings challenges
for everyone who shares a home with a member of clergy. Clergy
families can find it especially difficult when parishioners and other
visitors regularly come into their home for meetings and social
events. It can be a challenge for clergy and those who live with them
to set and keep boundaries to safeguard their home life and privacy.
The pressures may be different • How do you respect the
for the families of church leaders, personal space of your clergy
lay or ordained, who live in their and their families?
own homes, but the nature of
• How far do you consider the
church leadership means that those
partners and children (if they
they live with can feel they come
have any) of your clergy as
second to the church. We know that
individuals in their own right
relationships, whether with family
rather than appendages to the
or friends, wither and die if they are
clergy?
not fed with attention, presence,
communication, and time. Allowing • If your clergy have recently
our clergy and those who live joined the parish, how are those
with them the space to maintain they live with being welcomed
personal relationships is crucial if into church life? How do you
everyone is to flourish. respond if they do not wish to be
involved?
Consider asking these questions
about your clergy families and • How are you encouraging your
households: clergy to have clear boundaries
to safeguard their private lives
• What are the unspoken
and relationships? How are you
expectations of the partners and
encouraging church members
children of the clergy in your
not to phone church leaders
church? Are these reasonable,
before 9am, after 9pm or during
and do they respect the privacy
mealtimes, unless there is an
of each individual?
emergency?
35• Who funds tickets to church • that clergy will sometimes say
social events when clergy are ‘No’ in order to safeguard their
present as part of their role, private life and their family or
especially if the family of clergy household.
are expected to attend?
Support and resources
Look at the list on page 17 to see
• Oxon Spice – an independent
what clergy and Licensed Lay
network of clergy spouses in the
Ministers are entitled to expect
Diocese of Oxford (oxonspice.
in terms of time off, time for
wordpress.com)
prayer, reflection and professional
development. • Clergy Support Trust
(clergysupport.org.uk)
Reasonable expectations
• Musings of a Clergy Child by
for those living with clergy
Nell Goddard (BRF)
include:
• Public People, Private Lives by
• to have a private life separate
Jean and Chris Burton (Mowbray)
from the parish
• The Leader and the Family by
• to have their work and career
Katharine Hill (Grove Books)
choices respected
• Living as a Clergy Spouse by
• parishioners to knock on the
Matthew Caminer (Grove Books)
door/ring the bell and wait for it
to be answered before entering • Families and how to survive
them by Robin Skynner and John
• privacy within their home
Cleese (Ebury Publishing)
and garden. This may include
certain rooms within clergy
houses being ‘off limits’, either
temporarily or permanently
• that clergy partners and children
might choose not to attend
church or church functions
36And finally…
We are engaged together in Christians with wonder and saying
a wonderful enterprise. It is to themselves, ‘Look how these
sometimes said that ‘The local Christians love each other, and how
church is the hope of the world.’ they are ready to die for each other.’
Local parish ministry, worship,
We are living through extraordinary
prayer, outreach, pastoral
times, and it is important that we
care, social and environmental
model working together lovingly
responsibility, when it is done
and respectfully, caring for each
faithfully and well, is the most
other’s wellbeing and longing
powerful and missionally effective
for each other’s flourishing. As
witness to the love of God in our
followers of the Way, may our hearts
midst. The way in which we work
be wise, innocent and tender as we
together speaks far more powerfully
work together to model God’s love
that any words can about how we
to a world which has never needed
understand this love and whether
it more.
our faith has something life-giving
and hope-filled to offer others. The
great North African theologian
Tertullian, who lived in the second
century, imagines pagans looking at Bishop of Reading
37Your notes and actions You might want to make notes as you read this booklet, or list actions you intend to take (with dates for their completion). 38
Notes
All weblinks can be found at oxford.anglican.org/flourishing-together;
the list below indicates the title of each link on that page.
Foreword by the Bishop of Oxford
1 See Set free
Introduction
2 See Covenant
3 See Local
Flourishing through delegation
4 See Delegate
Flourishing Parochial Church Councils
5 See PCC legislation
39oxford.anglican.org/flourishing-together
Published by the Diocese of Oxford, Church House,
Langford Locks, Kidlington OX5 1GF
© Oxford Diocese 2021
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