B'nai Mitzvah Handbook - Temple Beth Am
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B’nai Mitzvah Handbook
Table of Contents
Messages from Clergy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
B’nai Mitzvah and Confirmation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4
Explanation of Terms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Tallit Presentation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Expectations and Responsibilitie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Timeline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Service Outline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Quick Reference and Celebration/Logistics FAQs . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Temple Beth Am Celebration Policies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Frequently Asked Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Important Contact Information . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
B’nai Mitzvah Honors Form . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 2
Messages from Clergy
DEAR BETH AM FAMILIES,
The B’nai Mitzvah process is a wonderful, yet very intense, process for the entire family. We often highlight that we expect
our students to view the process as a stage in their Jewish learning, not as a culmination. However, it is likewise important
to note that during the B’nai Mitzvah process, parents also become more active in Temple life. Just as we encourage our
students to remain involved and tuned in to the life of the Temple, we believe the same commitment should manifest
from the parents. The best way to teach our students that Judaism is part and parcel of who we are is for them to see
their parents engaged in meaningful Jewish experiences at the Temple. We hope that even after the B’nai Mitzvah process
concludes, parents will continue their consistent presence at the Temple.
Rabbi Jeremy Barras
PARENTS AND STUDENTS,
As you approach this wonderful milestone in your lives, you will need to consider many topics. The B’nai Mitzvah journey
should be a magical Jewish experience that you treasure for a lifetime. We, your Clergy, want to make sure that these
sentiments emerge during this exciting journey.
The first thing to remember, and what makes the B’nai Mitzvah experience unique at Temple Beth Am, is that we craft a
service that specifically fits your needs. To be more definitive, your child’s abilities will be nurtured especially for him or
her. For example, your child will chant only the amount of Torah that he or she is capable of chanting. The same applies to
the prayers and music of the service. If your family would prefer a smaller service, your child has the opportunity to chant
at our Minyan service, which takes place in our Chapel.
I am very proud to be the Director of the B’nai Mitzvah program. I work alongside a brilliant Clergy team, as well as
extremely gifted mentors, who will teach and guide your child. Our services are filled with music, warmth, love and spirit.
Additional poems, readings, songs and instrumental participation are often added to our services, depending on the wishes
and talents of our families.
Please feel free to call me, or any of our Clergy, with your questions. For those of you who feel nervous about asking us
about Judaism or the B’nai Mitzvah process… Please, don’t be! You couldn’t find a warmer, more loving and devoted group
of Clergy than here at Temple Beth Am.
Cantor Rachelle Nelson
B’NAI MITZVAH PROGRAM DIRECTOR
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 3
B’nai Mitzvah and Confirmation
B’nai Mitzvah and Confirmation are two rites of passage
that are completely intertwined at Temple Beth Am.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a time when the child begins the process of moving toward adulthood. For the first time, a
significant responsibility is placed upon the child. The preparation for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony places several
clear obligations on the child, and the acceptance of this responsibility is, for many children, their first step in mastering
the challenges of the teen years and adulthood. For families, the B’nai Mitzvah ceremony calls all the values of the
household into focus. For many, it is the first opportunity to demonstrate to friends and family (both near and far) who
they are and what they have achieved thus far. In sum, B’nai Mitzvah is a very important personal ceremony for the
child and for the family.
Confirmation is the other side of the coin of B’nai Mitzvah. It represents an entirely different set of challenges and
responsibilities for the teenagers. Anyone who has had the privilege of teaching confirmation candidates whom he/
she also taught as Bar/Bat Mitzvah children three years before cannot help but notice the dramatic differences.
Intellectually, the 13th, 14th and 15th years are periods of dramatically expanding horizons. Teenagers are encouraged
to ask questions, evaluate their own beliefs and begin thinking about a Judaism that meets their needs as thinking
and caring adults. The Confirmation grades emphasize Jewish values for young people living in a world constantly
confronted with numerous challenges. In the Confirmation years, we seek to give our children roots in Judaism that will
stand firm throughout college and adulthood.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 4
Explanation of Terms
THE READING OF THE TOR AH AND THE HAF TAR AH
The reading of the Torah in the synagogue is known in Hebrew as Keriat ha-Torah. This ancient tradition goes back to
the time of Moses. It was established by Ezra upon the Jews’ return to Palestine in 457 B.C.E. Over time, the Torah has
come to be read in the synagogue on every Sabbath, on the Festivals and on Monday and Thursday mornings. Keriat
ha-Torah is a way of combining study with worship.
The reading of the Haftarah in the synagogue is known as Haftarah b’navi or “concluding with the Prophets.” This
tradition is believed to have begun in Palestine during the second century B.C.E. when the Greeks had forbidden the
reading of the Torah. Jews, therefore, substituted the reading of the Torah with selections from the Prophets. Over time,
the reading of the Haftarah became a regular part of the Sabbath and Festival Services. Generally, the theme of the
Haftarah is related to some idea discussed in the Torah reading.
C ANTILL ATION
The tradition of chanting aloud the Books of the Bible is an ancient one. In Deuteronomy 31:19, Moses instructs the
Israelites: “Now therefore write this song for you, and teach it to the children of Israel…”
The song to which Moses is referring is Chapter 32 in Deuteronomy.
According to tradition, Ezra, on the Jews’ return to Israel from Babylonia in 457 B.C.E., established the public reading of
the Torah with a special melody system. This is known as the cantillation system consisting of approximately 25 signs
that appear above or below the words of the Bible text. They are usually referred to as the trope signs, from Greek,
meaning “the turn;” with each of these signs, the melody takes a certain turn or interpretation. The trope signs are the
same for Torah and Haftarah, but the melody for each sign is different.
THE ALLIYOT
Each Shabbat Sidrah is divided into smaller portions. For each portion, a man or woman is called up to the Torah to
recite the Benedictions, in which thanks are expressed for the gift of the Torah to Israel.
The honor is called Alliyah, which means “going up.” The honor of raising the Torah scroll is called Hagbah, and the
dressing of the Torah is called Galilah.
At Temple Beth Am, we are extremely proud of the sensitivity and care that we take with each individual child. The
service is hand-crafted to fill each child’s needs. There is not a specific number of Alliyot required; we care only that
your son/daughter flourishes and reaches the goals that he or she is capable of reaching.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 5
Tallit Presentation
PARENTS
You will be able to present your child with his or her Tallit. We ask that you follow the below guidelines. We can also send you
some examples should you feel that they would be helpful.
1. Both parents should say a few words. Each of us brings a slightly different perspective to our children. Please try to each
have a unique story and/or message.
2. Try to keep your presentation to less than three minutes. Parents may divide these precious moments any way they like,
but remember that anything beyond three minutes will challenge the attention span of the congregation and lengthen an
already full service.
3. As you prepare your words, try to keep in mind that humor is great, but some things may be misinterpreted. Additionally,
the place to highlight all the attributes and talents of your child is not during the service, but at the reception. Please keep
your talk centered on the meaning of this day. This is a wonderful time to speak of how proud you are of your son/daughter
with a focus on his or her Jewishness.
4. Just as we recommend to the B’nai Mitzvah students, type your words legibly and bring the papers with you. We suggest 14
point type, double spaced.
5. The last parent/speaker should discuss the significance of the Tallit you are presenting.
Please direct any further questions to the Cantor, Rabbi or your B’nai Mitzvah liaison.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 6
Expectations and Responsibilities for
Temple Beth Am Bar/Bat Mitzvah Students
WELCOME TO THE B’NAI MITZVAH PROGR AM
You are about to enter a learning program that will be a personally rewarding experience for you and your family. After
all your years of studying liturgy and Hebrew, you will make it all come together for yourself at your Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
A Jew who learns Hebrew deepens the roots of his or her Jewishness. Hebrew is the language that connects and unites
the Jewish people in many ways, as it transcends time and space. Through your participation in this B’nai Mitzvah
program, you will strengthen your link in the chain of Jewish continuity. Your Bar/Bat Mitzvah is an act of commitment
to God, Torah and the Jewish people. We will help you prepare, so you can make this one of your most memorable life
experiences.
EXPECTATIONS AND RESPONSIBILITIES
1) Mentor
You will be assigned a mentor, who will help you learn and polish all the blessings and prayers for the service,
which include the chanting of your Torah and Haftarah portions.
2) Preparation Time
Approximately six to eight months prior to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah, you will receive a call from your mentor to set up
an appointment to start lessons. Scheduling will depend on vacations and summer months.
3) Appointment Time
You will be expected to come once a week on your scheduled day and time for a 30-minute appointment. You will
be provided with 20 mentoring lessons, and you should bring all your materials (CDs, folders, etc.) to each lesson.
We understand there may be a time you need to cancel your appointment with your mentor; if you must cancel a
lesson, you will have been given the mentor’s phone number to contact him or her directly. Our policy asks that you
notify the mentor at least eight (8) hours prior to your lesson in order to reschedule it.
4) Appointment with the Clergy
• Approximately two months prior to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah, you will receive a schedule of appointments to meet
with your Rabbi and the Cantor. You will be meeting with each of them once a week, starting 4-6 weeks prior to
your Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
• The Rabbi will help you to prepare a D’var Torah, your commentary on the Torah, by studying with you.
• You will begin writing your D’var Torah after meeting with the Rabbi.
• The Cantor will be meeting with you to polish all your prayers and blessings. The Cantor will also prepare you to
feel extremely confident in leading services by having you practice chanting from the Torah, as well as reading
and chanting from the Siddur in the Sanctuary. If the Cantor feels that certain areas of the prayer service require
further tutorial, she will address this with your parents during her first meeting with them.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 7
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Timeline
AT LEAST 3 YEARS PRIOR
• Child will enroll in and attend Temple Beth Am Religious or Day School.
25 MONTHS PRIOR
• You may secure a date one month prior to your child’s 11th birthday, if he/
she is enrolled in Religious School or an alternative program approved
by the Senior Rabbi. At this time, you will meet with Aída Littauer,
B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator, to select a date and to be directed to the
Communications Director to finalize the required forms for a celebration.
1-2 YEARS PRIOR
• Family will attend a B’nai Mitzvah informational group meeting
where they will meet Clergy, educators and staff.
7-8 MONTHS PRIOR
• Family will receive a call from the assigned mentor and begin learning sessions.
• Mentor will meet with child for ½ hour, once a week for a total of 20 sessions.
• Family will meet with officiating Rabbi to go over details,
questions, expectations and requirements.
2 MONTHS PRIOR
• Family will receive an email with appointments to meet with the Rabbi and
the Cantor once a week, starting 4-6 weeks prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
1 MONTH PRIOR
• D’var Torah is in writing process in conjunction
with weekly meetings with the Rabbi.
• Weekly meetings with Cantor to practice Torah and Haftarah.
WEEK OF THE SERVICE
• Meet with officiating Rabbi in the Sanctuary.
Honors form is completed and turned in.
• Meet with Cantor in the Sanctuary.
DAY OF B’NAI MITZVAH
• Arrive early in service attire and meet in the Whisper Room.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 8
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Outline
FRIDAY NIGHT SHABBAT SERVICES
• Parents join in lighting candles.
• Bar/Bat Mitzvah recites Kiddush.
SHABBAT MORNING OR EVENING
• Cantor begins service.
• Bar/Bat Mitzvah walks in with Rabbi, parents and siblings.
• Rabbi welcomes congregation.
• Parents give charge to Bar/Bat Mitzvah (giving of Tallit with blessing recited by Bar/Bat Mitzvah).
• Parents are seated in the congregation.
• Bar/Bat Mitzvah leads service.
• Cantor blesses Bar/Bat Mitzvah after silent meditation.
• Torah is removed from the Ark, followed by the Torah processional (hakafah).
• Bar/Bat Mitzvah chants Torah (alliyot).
• Bar/Bat Mitzvah gives D’var Torah.
• Torah is lifted (hagbah) and dressed (galilah).
• Bar/Bat Mitzvah chants Haftarah blessings, Haftarah portion and closing blessings.
• Torah is returned to Ark.
• Candy (optional).
• Rabbi blesses Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
• Bar/Bat Mitzvah leads closing prayers (Aleinu and Mourners’ Kaddish).
• Board of Directors’ representative presents gifts.
Morning 10:30 a.m. Kiddush and Hamotzi recited from Bima.
Evening 5:30 p.m. Havdalah to conclude service.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 9
Quick Reference & Celebration/
Logistics FAQ’s
A signed contract and the following payments are needed to reserve a room for your celebration.
Deposit to reserve the room (refundable) $1,000
Clean up fee for parties $650
Clean up fee for Kiddush lunch $350
Shabbat dinner clean up fee (Extended Social Hall, Social Hall, Chapel or Café) $350
Chapel rental fee – evening celebration (non-refundable) $350
Early setup on Friday before (only if available) $25 per hour that vendor is on campus
• Saturday daytime luncheons must end by 2:00 p.m.
$50 per hour 4 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.; $100 per hour 9:30 p.m. to midnight
• Saturday daytime celebrations must end by 4:00 p.m.
• Saturday evening celebrations must end by 12:00 a.m.
No setup between 6:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.
Clean up is allowed until 2:00 a.m. at no extra charge. After 2:00 a.m., there is a fee of $200 per hour or any part of the hour.
MONTAGE/ VIDEO CHECK
If you plan to run a video through our equipment (not a hired vendor), you must come to Temple Beth Am and test it
by the Thursday before your celebration at the latest. Appointment is required. Live streaming is also available in the
Sanctuary, and you must request this at least 24 hours before your service.
VENDORS & PART Y PL ANNERS
Party planners and other vendors must coordinate all vendor logistics with Michelle Cohen. Certificates of Liability
Insurance must be coordinated through your selected caterer. Lift rental is $250 and will be directly billed to family.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 10SECURIT Y
B’nai Mitzvah fee includes supervision of unaccompanied children in the Sanctuary during the B’nai Mitzvah service.
SECURIT Y FOR CELEBR ATION FOLLOWING SERVICE (REQUIRED)
Temple Beth Am requires security for participants ages 16 and under for all B’nai Mitzvah services, Kiddush lunches,
and daytime/evening parties. The Temple requires a minimum of two (2) guards at all times. Security arrangements are
the responsibility of the congregant.*
In addition, the following is the child/teen to security guard ratio that is required:
• One (1) to forty-nine (49) children/teens = two (2) guards
• Fifty (50) to seventy-five (75) children/teens = three (3) guards
• Seventy-six (76) to one hundred (100) children/teens = four (4) guards
• One-hundred and one (101) to one-hundred and twenty-five (125) children/teens = five (5) guards
• One-hundred and twenty-six (126) to one-hundred and fifty (150) = Six (6) guards
* Cost of security is based on the ratio listed and is charged per guard/per hour
For security fees and referrals, please the attached form and contact Sharon Levi at 305.667.6667 ext. 127;
cell phone: 954.822.9158 or email: slevi@tbam.org
SANCTUARY PHOTOGR APHY
If you would like to schedule your photography session for the Sanctuary or Torah, you must speak to Aída Littauer
to schedule a time.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 11Temple Beth Am Celebration Policies
• All events must follow kosher style guidelines. No dairy products will be served at a meal which includes meat. Absolutely
no shellfish, pork or pork products are permitted on Temple premises at any time. During Passover, only unleavened foods
are permitted.
• Temple Beth Am is a smoke-free campus.
• Daytime events held after services have the use of the Social Hall until 4:00 p.m.
• The Social Hall is available to members in good standing. This includes standard setup of dance floor, stage and use of the
temple’s tables and chairs.
• Food and beverage for all events must be provided by one of the Temple’s approved in-house caterers:
– Fare to Remember, is the only option for a Saturday afternoon Party or Luncheon with 50 or more guests.
– Fare to Remember, Michael’s Catering and Chef David Schwadron are all options for Saturday evening celebrations.
– The caterer who caters your Saturday Evening event can also be used to caterer your Friday Night Shabbat Dinner with
advance notice.
– For events fewer than 50 people you have the option of using Joanna’s Marketplace, Bagel Emporium, Catering by Les,
Chef David Schwadron and Michael Meltzer. These must be scheduled as drop offs and you must hire at least 1 staff
person to accept delivery and setup for you.
• A clean-up fee and a refundable facility deposit are required.
– A clean-up fee of $650.00 per celebration is required. Kiddush lunch clean-up fee is $350.
» This fee covers the cost of clean-up after your party and two bathroom attendants for each event.
– Payment is due at least 90 days prior to party.
• Vendors may have access to the Social Hall and/or Extended Social Hall on the Friday prior to the celebration ONLY WITH PRIOR
authorization from Michelle Cohen. There is a $50 per hour fee, for each hour that you are in campus loading in décor. $50 per
hour during the following times: 4:00 p.m. – 9:30 p.m. $100 per hour during the following times: 9:30 p.m. – midnight.
– Friday loading times are as follows:
» 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. and then again from 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.
* No setup between 6:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.
• Access may be available again on Saturday morning at 7:00 a.m. ONLY WITH PRIOR authorization from Michelle Cohen.
• Evening Celebrations require the removal of all vendor property within 2 hours following completion of the event.
A charge of $200/hr. will be charged if clean-up is not completed by the 2 hour allotted time frame. The hourly fee
shall not be pro-rated.
• At no time may decorations be affixed to the ceiling, walls or any portion of the building with nails, screws, tacks, tape, glue
or any application that leaves a residue on any surface except for normal paper affixed to glass surfaces with common
cellophane type tape. No glitter, confetti machines, fog/smoke machines or candy tables that provide gum are permitted in
the Social Hall. No orbeez may be used.
• Temple Beth Am has a maximum of 200 amps* of power for the Social Hall/Extended Social Hall. Any generator or extra
power will need to be provided by a third party vendor. (*The panel is rated at 200 amps. The feeder cables going thru the
pipe into the ballroom installed are only rated for 100 amps.)
• All vendors are responsible for the removal of their own trash. Vendors are NOT allowed to use the Temple trash containers.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 12• Congregants and/or video/still photographers cannot remove the Torah(s) without a clergy member present. Please
arrange this through the clergy offices.
• All photographers (still or video) must remain stationary and no flash photography in the Sanctuary is allowed
Dress code for all vendors must be “Synagogue Appropriate” i.e. No sneakers, t-shirts, flip flops, etc.
• Congregant host assumes responsibility for cost of repairing any damages done to Temple Beth Am’s building and/
or contents.
• Individuals, organizations and vendors utilizing Temple facilities will not be permitted to remove or displace any
furniture or equipment without prior consent. No action which may in any way damage the synagogue’s property
shall be permitted.
• All vendors must provide a certificate of insurance naming Temple Beth Am with a minimum liability of
$1,000,000.00 within thirty (30) days of the event.
• No live animals are permitted on the Temple grounds or buildings.
• Orbeez (floral gel beads) are no longer permitted on our campus for B’nai Mitzvah celebrations (effective 1/29/15).
Wedding receptions are exempt from this new rule.
• Congregant, Campus Logistics Director and Catering Manager must meet and/or speak within 2 weeks of the date of event.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 13Bridal Room Policies
• If a B’nai mitzvah family would like the use of the bridal room for changing their clothes etc. they must request it with
Michelle Cohen, 786.364.9432.
• There will be NO food or storage of candy tables allowed in the bridal room during B’nai Mitzvah Celebrations. If there is a
need to store a candy table, we will be happy to provide you with another location if arranged in advance.
• The bridal room will remain locked at all times. The B’nai mitzvah family will need to ask Sharone Levi, or one of the
maintenance staff to open the room, but it will then be immediately locked back up.
• If other guests or teens are seen in the space they will be asked to leave.
• The $1,000 deposit that we receive from our families who request the bridal room will also be held accountable for damage
in that space as well.
I/We understand that Temple Beth Am assumes no responsibility for personal property brought into the building(s) or for any
automobiles parked on the premises. Temple Beth Am is not liable for failure to perform its obligations if such failure is as a
result of Acts of God (including fire, flood, earthquake, storm, hurricane or other natural disaster), terrorist activities or failure of
electricity or telephone service. If Temple Beth Am is required to close its campus due to an Act of God as stated above we will
work with you as the renter to solidify a new date and move all deposits and payments.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 14A Parent’s Guide:
Frequently Asked Questions
CLERGY
Q: Does my child study with the Rabbi to prepare? If so, when?
A: Yes, your child will meet with the Rabbi on a regular basis for approximately one month before his or her Bar/Bat
Mitzvah.
Q: Does my child meet with the Cantor to prepare? If so, when?
A: Yes, your child will meet with the Cantor on a regular basis for approximately one month before his or her Bar/Bat
Mitzvah.
Q: Does the Rabbi meet with me as a parent to prepare? If so, when?
A: Yes, the Rabbi will meet with you and your child six months before your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
Q: Is it customary to provide the mentor, Rabbi and Cantor with a gift of appreciation?
A: Yes, you may elect to make a contribution to the Rabbi’s and Cantor’s discretionary funds and provide the mentor
with a token of your appreciation.
Q: Is it appropriate to invite members of the clergy to share our family’s celebration?
A: You certainly may invite then, but please understand that the clergy frequently have Bar/Bat Mitzvah twice each
Shabbat plus other life cycle events or other professional obligations and may not attend.
EDUC ATION/PREPAR ATION
Q: Does my child have to attend Religious School?
A: Yes, your child is required to have at least 3 years of formal Jewish education prior to his or her Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
This can be attained through a combination of the Religious and Day Schools, as well. Your child is also expected to
continue his or her Jewish education through high school.
Q: When does mentoring begin?
A: Mentoring begins approximately 7-8 months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, keeping in mind vacations and
summer months.
Q: Does Temple Beth Am require my child to have a mitzvah project?
A: No, your child does not have to participate in a mitzvah project, but we encourage it because it will contribute to the
overall significance of the B’nai Mitzvah and the true meaning of tzedakah.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 15SERVICE
Q: What is my role in the service Friday night?
A: Parents will participate in the traditional Shabbat blessings of lighting candles.
Q: Should we give alliyot only to relatives/friends who read Hebrew?
A: No, guests chanting alliyot do not have to read Hebrew. We can provide transliterations, so those involved can be well
prepared. However, those involved should still practice. It is important to note that the guest reciting the blessing must be
Jewish. Non-Jews are permitted to stand with the person chanting the alliyah blessing.
Q: Are family/friends involved in the service in any way besides alliyot during the Torah service?
A: Other honors for family/friends can include opening and closing the Ark and carrying, holding or dressing the Torah.
Q: How do we honor a special family member/friend if they are unable to read Hebrew?
A: See above.
Q: What do the parents do during the morning/afternoon service?
A: During the service, the parents will give charge to their child, present their child with his/her tallit and be called up for an
alliyah blessing for the reading of the Torah.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 16Q: Is a non-Jewish parent limited in their participation at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service?
A: The non-Jewish parent can participate in all aspects of the service, except for reciting the blessings before and after
chanting the Torah.
Q: Are siblings able to be involved in the service?
A: A sibling under the age of 13 can open the Ark, dress the Torah, read a prayer or sing a blessing with the consent of
the Cantor. Siblings over the age of 13 may be called to the Torah for an Alliyah blessing or to chant from the Torah.
Q: If there are certain prayers, readings, etc. that are special to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, are we able to include them in the
service?
A: You may ask the Rabbi or Cantor about any specific prayers.
Q: Is the parents’ charge reviewed by or discussed with the Rabbi?
A: Yes, this can be done at your meeting with the Rabbi.
Q: Do both parents speak?
A: Both parents are welcome to speak, but they are not required to do so.
Q: If we have a morning Torah service, does Temple Beth Am require a kiddush following the service?
A: No, you are not required to have a kiddush table following the morning service. However, it is a wonderful idea to
hold a Kiddush at the Temple, as it adds to the atmosphere of celebration.
Q: Who gives the Synagogue gifts, community organization gifts and speech at the end of the service?
A: A member of the Board of Directors of Temple Beth Am has the honor of speaking to each Bar/Bat Mitzvah at the
conclusion of the service. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will receive his or her Certificate of Bar/Bat Mitzvah from Temple Beth
Am, as well as gifts from the Board and from other organizations from which we have agreed to present gifts. The
Board member is either requested by the family or has signed up to have this honor and responsibility. He or she
does not need to be invited to the simcha nor does he or she expect to be.
LOGISTICS
Q: Who do I speak to regarding mentoring sessions and general questions?
A: You can call Aída Littauer, B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator, at 786.364.9441.
Q: Am I responsible for the pulpit flowers on Friday night and the pre-neg Shabbat (refreshments before the Friday
night service) if applicable? What does it cost?
A: Yes, you are responsible for the flowers and refreshments; however, the fee is included as part of the B’nai Mitzvah
package. Therefore, after paying the Bar/Bat Mitzvah fees, you do not need to worry about this.
Q: What time should my family arrive at Temple on Friday night and on Saturday?
A: Your family should arrive 10-15 minutes prior to the Friday evening Shabbat Service, which begins at 6:30 p.m. On
Saturday, your family should arrive 30 minutes prior to the start time of your service. Morning services begin at
10:30 a.m., and evening services begin at 5:30 p.m.
Q: Are seats reserved for my family?
A: Yes, seats are reserved in the front rows.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 17Q: How do we arrange to take photographs in the Temple?
A: Contact Aída Littauer at 786.364.9441 to arrange for a time to take photographs in the Temple.
Q: How do we arrange to videotape the service?
A: You are free to contact a professional videographer for your service. During the service, the camera must be placed
at the rear center of the Sanctuary so as not to interfere with the service or your guests. No lighting and no flash
photography is permitted. Live streaming is available.
Q: What happens if our friends and relatives want or need to bring small children to our service?
A: Temple Beth Am does not provide any kind of child care during worship services, and we ask that families with small
children be extremely sensitive to the significant distraction that noise and unhappy children can present. Please
bring adequate snacks and toys, just in case. Please take crying or disruptive children out of the Sanctuary and
provide supervision.
Q: Who oversees the B’nai Mitzvah program, its mentors and parental concerns?
A: Cantor Nelson manages the B’nai Mitzvah program. She can be reached at 305.667.6667, extension 133.
Q: How should the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child be dressed? How should the parents and siblings be dressed?
A: B’nai Mitzvah families should be dressed appropriately for being on the Bimah. This includes having shoulders
covered. All photos in this handbook include examples of appropriate dress for the Bimah. See examples of what not
to wear below.
WHAT NOT TO WEAR
Friday Evening Shabbat Service Shabbat Service (Morning or Havdalah)
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 18Contact Information
TEMPLE BETH AM STAFF
All extensions can be reached by dialing 305.667.6667 or Dial Direct. To send an email, please use the first initial of the
person’s first name and the full last name @tbam.org (i.e. jbarras@tbam.org). General email inquiries should be sent to
info@tbam.org.
Main Office Fax Clergy Office Fax Day School Fax Religious School Fax
305.662.8619 305.667.1390 305.669.2524 305.666.2536
THE JANET Z”L AND RICHARD YULMAN CAMPUS 5950 North Kendall Drive, Pinecrest, Florida 33156
CLERGY EX T DIAL DIRECT
Rabbi Jeremy Barras 131
Cantor Rachelle Nelson 133
Rabbi Rachel Greengrass 144
Rabbi Jaime Aklepi 117
Cantor Peter Halpern 196
Aída Littauer, B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator and Assistant to Cantors Nelson & Halpern 140 786.364.9441
Mindy Robbin, Assistant to Rabbis Barras and Aklepi 131 786.364.9446
Janice Baisman, Assistant to Rabbi Greengrass 122 786.364.9445
ADMINISTR ATION EX T DIAL DIRECT
Brian Chartock, Executive Director 101 786.364.9425
John Wenzel, Finance Director 103 786.364.9428
Rita Diaz, Membership Director 107 786.364.9434
Michelle Cohen, Campus Activities Director 149 786.364.9432
Sharón Levi, Director of Campus Security 127 954.822.9158
Darlene Cruz, Administrative Assistant 115 305.668.5312
Tamara Donnenfeld, Director of Lifelong Learning 123 786.364.9416
L AY LEADER LIAISONS DIAL DIRECT
Tracey Spiegelman, B’nai Mitzvah Liaison 786.356.9228
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 19NAME . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . B/M Date . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
B’nai Mitzvah Honors
The time has come for you to assign honors for your upcoming simcha. There are a variety of bimah honors available; they
are listed below, along with explanations. If you have any questions regarding these pulpit honors, please speak to the rabbi
who is officiating. PLEASE DO NOT FEEL THE NEED TO FILL ALL THE EMPTY LINES AVAILABLE. They are there as options, not as
necessities. THIS FORM NEEDS TO BE COMPLETED AND BROUGHT WITH YOU TO YOUR FINAL APPOINTMENT WITH THE RABBI.
ALLIYOT
The word “alliyah” means to “go up.” It refers specifically to being called to the Torah to recite two blessings, one before and one
after your child’s reading of the Torah. Because this blessing includes the words “asher bachar banu/who has chosen us,” Temple
Beth Am calls only Jews over the age of 13 to recite or chant blessings over the Torah. You will need to know the Hebrew name of
each person called for this honor. Remember, Hebrew names represent two (2) generations and that in Reform Judaism we like
to mention both father and mother if we can. The word “ben” means “son of” and “bat” means “daughter of.”
PEOPLE WHO ARE CALLED FOR THIS BLESSING SHOULD PRACTICE! Being called for an alliyah is a very high honor; it also
presupposes an ability to recite or chant credibly. Non-Jewish family or friends, as well as children, can accompany the alliyah.
There are potentially seven (7) alliyot. The exact number will depend on the amount of Hebrew your child is chanting (three
verses minimum per alliyah) and/or if there are additional Torah readers. Therefore, it is important that you confer with your
child or the mentor before filling out this sheet. The final alliyah is always given to the child and the next to the last is generally
given to the parents. Therefore, if your child has three alliyot, you have only one to give away to relatives, etc.
TALLIT
Parents generally give a tallit to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. However, on occasion, someone else will (i.e. grandmother, etc). Please let
us know who will be doing this.
1) OPEN THE ARK
Open ark doors before taking the Torah from the Ark Relationship to B/M
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
b. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
c. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
d. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2) REMOVE TORAH
Remove the Torah from the Ark and hand to Rabbi or one of your own honorees for Hakafah (marching with Torah).
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Relationship to B/M: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 20NAME . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . B/M Date . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
FIRST ALLIYAH
Name(s) Hebrew Name(s) Relationship to B/M
1) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
3) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
4) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
SECOND ALLIYAH
Name(s) Hebrew Name(s) Relationship to B/M
1) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
3) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
4) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
THIRD ALLIYAH
Name(s) Hebrew Name(s) Relationship to B/M
1) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
3) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
4) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
FOURTH ALLIYAH (PARENTS)
Name(s) Hebrew Name(s) Relationship to B/M
1) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
FIF TH ALLIYAH (BAR/BAT MITZVAH)
Full English Name
..............................................................................
Full Hebrew Name
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ben/bat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
If there are six or seven Alliyot, please provide the information requested above on the reverse side of this form.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 21NAME . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . B/M Date . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
3) HAGBAH
Lift Torah (Hagbah) after B’nai Mitzvah have completed reading or chanting. Physically challenging.
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Relationship to B/M: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
4) GALLILAH
Dressing the Torah (Gallilah); excellent for YOUNGER siblings or relatives of both families.
Name(s) Relationship to B/M
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
b. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
c. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
d. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
5) CARRY TORAH TO STAND (COULD BE THE SAME PERSON THAT DOES HAGBAH)
Bring Torah to holder stand.
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Relationship to B/M: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
6) OPEN THE ARK
Open ark doors before returning the Torah to the Ark.
Name(s) Relationship to B/M
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
b. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
c. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
d. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
7) RETURN TORAH TO ARK
Returning Torah to Ark after Haftarah is read. Can include second Hakafah (marching with Torah).
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Relationship to B/M: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
8) CANDY Yes No
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
9) OPEN THE ARK
Open ark doors for the Aleinu.
Name(s) Relationship to B/M
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
b. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
c. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
d. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 22NAME . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . B/M Date . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
K ADDISH
We recite kaddish at our services. We like to mention people who would have delighted in your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah but who
are sadly absent. A rule of thumb is that namesakes are always appropriate. Also, if you believe mentioning a name would be
meaningful to those present, then please do so.
Name(s) Relationship to B/M
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
b. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
c. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
d. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
SPECIAL PEOPLE
Are there people whose names should be mentioned who are present, but NOT participating in some way in the service? A great
grandmother, an aunt from Israel, etc? Are there people who could not attend that should be noted?
Name(s) Relationship to B/M
a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
b. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
c. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
d. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
SHABBAT GREETERS
Name(s) Relationship to B/M
Friday . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Saturday . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
BOARD MEMBER
..............................................................................
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Quite often we will mention that a family is holding the Kiddush in the social hall or that a bus is waiting to take the kids to the
party, etc. Any special announcements?
SPECIAL ARR ANGEMENTS OR CHANGES/ADDITIONS
. . . . . . (initial) Please arrange live streaming for our service.
2020-2021 TEMPLE BETH AM B’NAI MITZVAH HANDBOOK 23The Janet z”l and Richard Yulman Campus
5950 N. Kendall Drive, Pinecrest, Florida 33156
www.tbam.orgYou can also read
